Big Brother 25, USA, Bitter Day 15-16 Review, Eviction, SAVE REILLY!…No?!

*****

THE FOLLOWING POST INCLUDES A VERY LENGTHY AND EMOTIONAL RANT ABOUT THE RECENT BITTER OUTCOMES OF THIS REALITY-TV GAME SHOW, ALONG WITH AN EQUALLY EMOTIONAL AND SOMEWHAT PERSONAL LETTER/PLEA FOR THIS SEASON’S MOST WONDERFUL PLAYER, REILLY SMEDLEY.   ANY OPINIONS DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE WERE VOICED IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT, IN SHOCK AND DISGUST FOR EVERYONE EXCEPT REILLY, WHO RETAINS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART.

Wednesday, August 16, Day 15

Hisam won the VETO, again, and chose not to use it, again.

Wow, and he spoke out against Reilly, saying she needed to go so he and the others could pursue the relationships they desired?! Just cuz she foolishly told him he was one of her targets (which was really dumb on her part). [And, if you can see where Hisam is coming from, as a target of a person who leads the young majority, he fears the mob will target him, increasing his distress, resulting in this retaliation…public retaliation. But, it still was a heavy public hand to play on the somewhat delicate flower of positivity in the house.] Bastard. Jerk city. He needs to go.

[Even if Reilly is/was a threat, you could have A) kept the target talk to whoever you spoke with privately and/or B) kept the speech less hostile by saying Reilly is your target because she targeted you…not that she’s a bad person who needs to go.]

—————-

Thursday, August 17, Day 16

Hisam addresses his “older party” like a stereotypical shopping woman, who asks someone’s opinion of two options and then, after hearing half of another person’s opinion, goes with his own choice and says everyone is in agreement…right? He’s not taking input; he’s seeking agreement.

Cameron gives a humble, simple speech at the vote. No expectation either way. Reilly is lousy at giving speeches…as I probably would be without preparation…and seems unsure how things will go (so how much did she overhear and how much didn’t she?). [But, she looks amazing in a near-skin-tone dress. And, Cameron actually cleaned up, too, with his white cutout button-down shirt and cowboy hat.]

I look at the two of the nominees in their seats. Both look nicely dressed. Usually, whoever dresses nicely is aware they are on the way out; the casual dresser usually can join those who hug the loser goodbye and stay inside the house. Reilly is wearing a dress! That’s usually the sign!…she knows/assume’s she’s in trouble! Reilly doesn’t wear dresses; she’s a halter-top-and-jeans gal from Nashville (which has been on my list of cities in the USA to visit, since 2010)! [But…everyone said they were going to surprise Hisam and save her. Didn’t they?] Cameron has his hat on; that seems like an “I’m out of here” decision. Yet, his speech didn’t sound TOO convincing about him leaving…while Reilly bit her tongue, as if she was going to expose information on TV too soon?

CORY VOTES TO EVICT REILLY! ^%CK! HE NEEDS TO GO, TOO!
MATT, WHO WAS CRUSHING ON REILLY, VOTES TO EVICT HER! JACKASS! Olympic fail!
CIRIE, WHO SWORE REILLY HAD SUPPORTED HER IN THE BEGINNING AND DESERVED TO BE REPAID…AND REILLY FURTHER OFFERED SUPPORT AT HER EXPENSE UPON HEARING THIS FAVOR-RETURNED SPEECH!
EVERYONE IS TURNING ON HER!!!
MOB MENTALITY!!! NAZIS!
12-0! SICK! HORRIBLE! [Even Frankenstein had at least one human in his corner when they came after him with torches and farm tools.]

THE SHOW SPENT A HALF-HOUR SHOWING PEOPLE BEING SHOCKED BY HISAM AND TURNING IN FAVOR OF REILLY, JUST FOR THEM TO BACK DOWN AT VOTING TIME! TYPICAL AND STUPID FOR THIS SHOW, ONE MORE SEASON!! EXPECTED! I *HOPED* AND ANTICIPATED REILLY BEING IN THE FINAL THREE. BUT, I SHOULD EXPECT THIS TREATMENT OF PEOPLE I LIKE. I’M REALLY STARTING TO THINK THE SHOW NEEDS TO END. IT’S ANOTHER WASTE OF CREATIVITY ON THE STUPID! THESE PLAYERS ARE DUMB, FOOLISH AND WASTEFUL OF A SPIRIT LIKE REILLY’S, IN FAVOR OF A GUY WHO IS SO INTO HIMSELF HE CAN’T SEE PAST HIS SPORTS BOTTLE! COWARDS! CON ARTISTS! [AND, I’M THE BIGGEST FOOL, EVERY YEAR, FOR WATCHING AND TRYING TO ENJOY THE ARTISTRY…AND CRUSHING ON PEOPLE WHO DO STUFF LIKE THIS.]

I HAVE NO REASON TO CONTINUE WATCHING! IF BOWIE JANE SOMEHOW PROVES HERSELF A COMPETITOR…OR AMERICA, IF SHE DOES ANYTHING OTHER THAN SIT AROUND LOOKING PRETTY…MAYBE I’LL CATCH UP, LATER? BUT, THIS IS NUTS. IT’S OFFICIAL, I CARE ABOUT REILLY! I’M NOW GOING TO FAIL AT THE QUIZES ABOUT WHO DID WHAT WHEN, BUT WHO CARES! THE REST OF THE HOUSE SURE DOESN’T. LITTLE WEASEL CORY IS NOW SURE TO RISE TO THE TOP AND SURVIVE SOME NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST BY BEING A TATTLETALE COWARD?! HELLO, MR. NICOLE! AND, GOODBYE! TAKE THE BIG PRIZE; YOU DESERVE IT…IT’S EXPECTED OF YOU TO WIN. THERE; NOW SEE IF HE WINS, WHEN I EXPECT IT. I ALSO EXPECT JARED AND CIRIE TO WIN. AND, HISAM. I’LL EXPECT EVERYONE BUT ONE. ‘SEE HOW THAT WORKS.

AND, WHAT’S ALSO SO MESSED UP IS THAT SHE’S WILLING TO HUG ALL THOSE PEOPLE ON THE WAY OUT, WHEN THEY TURNED ON HER! I WOULDN’T TOUCH ANY OF THEM! ESPECIALLY HISAM! ASSHOLES! WOULD YOU HUG SOMEONE LIKE A BOYFRIEND WHEN THEY’RE JUST GOING TO DISRESPECT OR ABANDON YOU? WOULD YOU CALL SOMEONE AN ALLY/FRIEND IF THEY CHOOSE NOT TO SAVE YOU WHEN YOU’RE IN DANGER? WHAT KIND OF FRIEND IS THAT?! MY HEART IS IN PAIN. IS THIS HOW THE WORLD WORKS OR JUST CBS MADNESS?

Had the vote been split, I would feel okay; I’d say some people stuck to their word and care for Reilly (at least, after what Hisam did and continues to do). Had the vote been against Reilly, 7-5, I would bite my tongue and walk away, mildly upset. Had the vote been 9-3, I would nurse a headache and accept a shocking loss. But, 12-0?! You people are… I will not repeat myself more than I already do! I’m just livid.

When asked if Reilly knew about a “relationship” in the house, she thought Blue and Jared were getting cozy…she thought ROMANTIC! as I would. Another reason her and I are in sync.] But, of course, Julie Chen’s poor choice of words fails to suggest family connection. So, no one who doesn’t already know doesn’t guess correctly.

The goodbye messages are pathetic and agitating. Say whatever you will, spill your regrets for voting with the mob. Oh, you’re all so afraid of what would happen if you supported “your girl.” You’re all full of shit. Plain and simple. Mob mentality and cowardice sucks in this game! I swear on a stack of whatever books you want to stick in front of me, I would refuse to go with that mob, no matter the risk. Going with the mob isn’t going to guarantee you anything; you live the rest of your time in that house, always uncertain of what tomorrow may be because 1) you’re not winning competitions; you’re floating…and 2) you’re not deciding anything for yourself, you’re hoping what others do will benefit you.

You’ll see her on the outside? In 74+ days, you’ll be lucky if you remember who sat next to you and said what on the hotseat when the quiz arrives, if the show continues its obnoxious pattern (for being “unexpectedly expected”). In 74+ days, you’ll all be thinking about what you’re going to do, now, that the party is over (and you dressed up for nothing). Don’t give me any BS about your resumes, because this earns you a fat nothing except Facebook time. Enjoy the additional tens and tens of views of your nothing-space, if you have one. I’ll never see you, again, because I don’t want to see people who follow mob mentality for supposed safety. Cowardice! Heartless cowardice!

If you put yourself at risk by supporting Reilly, would you really be the next out the door? If you want to be completely honest, with Hisam in control of the van, do you really think your chances are better by picking on Reilly and supporting Hisam’s speech? I guarantee you’re just as likely to go next week, and you’ll look twice as stupid when you do! Whoever goes out next is the biggest idiot in the game, because they sided with Hisam, who could just as easily win another competition and kick them out with his dictator-mindset. Hail, Hitler.

[On that note, if Jag was next to be evicted, I guess that WOULD make him Reilly’s ride-or-die, because he’d go right with/after her. But, I doubt that will happen, considering he’s a “first. You see…firsts don’t usually go quickly. The show loves to pitch firsts. Reilly isn’t the first bubbly blonde beauty to be in the house; she’s “common.” Yet, to say that sounds hurtful; I don’t think she is common. I like her, very much, which is a bit strange, when I know she and I have similar mindsets. Is this me loving myself?…through another person (with better hair)?]

If I was Reilly, and this was the definite end of her game, I’d write the whole thing off and get on with life as it was, sadly, not that long ago. Cripes, she barely had a chance to light up the house. I honestly don’t care what any of her enemies or supposed allies have to say; they didn’t even have enough time to fully know her. It’s all CBS PR BS. You know it is.

I’m walking away to medicate my heart with something sweet. I am not an emotional eater…but I am, tonight. And, as I find myself talking to myself…incessantly venting, ranting…I hear myself talking exactly like Reilly! Am I sick? I hear her voice in my mouth! It’s weird! But, it’s happening!

Reilly Smedley! [By the way, I bet you got heckled in school with that last name. Right?] We think alike…we play alike (although I’d like to think I’m a bit more strategic and cautious…yet would never cave to mob mentality at the expense of my “ride or die”–Jag!–or a girl I like–other guys!)…we joke alike. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way about any other female player. I’ve been attracted to other women in this game. But, you’re certainly someone special, not just for your looks. You have wit and brains and are so, so SO full of light.

At the very least, you should have stuck around until, maybe, Day 70, not Day 16. Booting you so early is a crime against nature. Who needs plants? Who needs sunlight? Not that house. Talk about “havenots;” those people “have not” an ounce of good sense or respect. Even if you told each of them to let you go to save Cameron, they had the chance to prove their respect for you by voting in your favor. They didn’t have to accept a martyr speech. I wouldn’t, unless I saw no reason to spare you. I saw no reason to HATE you. I can think of at least five other people I’d paint with a big red target as both threats and jerks. You’re not among them.

Why would I favor you over Cameron? What’s wrong with Cameron? Nothing. At least, he hasn’t had enough time to shine. You’ve certainly, already, been given greater focus. So, this is all obvious? Is that why you leave?…so Cameron gets air time? He couldn’t breathe with you in the room? You people have 90 days to shine. I’m sure he’d get some, eventually. He’s an SNL look-and-sound-alike. I’m sure he’d find a way to represent himself and do just fine. His luck doesn’t hinge on you…yet, I would imagine, if he cared to keep playing, it would have been really easy to turn people against you, because Hisam was already leading the charge. But, what does that say about Cameron’s respect for you? Wasn’t he part of one of your alliances? How worthless is that?

Let’s try looking at this situation, another way. [How many ways have I already tried?] Let’s say this is like an anime I watched some years ago, in which every competitor has a story, a reason to win. In that anime, tough decisions were made; eventually some heart-breaking cases had to be slighted in favor of someone else, telling viewers the continuing champion(s) had better reasons to win. Let’s say you’re just a lucky gal (lucky to be so bright, charming, beautiful and witty) taking a gamble without any heart-breaking story to go along with your reason for playing. You find out everyone else in the house is playing for their family or to pay medical bills…something like that. You realize your claim on the prize is worthless; so you bail. [But, why did they pick you in the first place? They needed a blonde starlet? Was that all they saw in you? And, your age? Your birthday coinciding with opening day at the fair? Were you just a number and a pretty face?]

Don’t bow to and kiss these people and tell them you’ll hang out with them, later, if your game can be cut so quickly and heartlessly. It astounds me how quickly people can cry crocodile tears over a loss and the paint smiles on their faces the next day. Me? I’d be mourning your loss in the house for weeks, most likely. Unless I had sufficient reason to hate you, I’d miss you and not just let that go. It would leak out of my pores…unless the TV crew somehow washes that out and makes it look like I’m not mourning? Which would be cruel but expected.

I confess to falling to mob mentality when I was a kid, when I should have defended my best female friend. I should have stood up and said I loved her as more than a friend, instead of just saying she was a friend to avoid scrutiny. That omission hurt and, eventually, cost me that friendship. It still hurts. But, it taught me a lesson, too. It taught me to not repeat that mistake. Some people you just have to take risks for; no prize money (and no public humiliation) can replace a lasting friendship. And, I wouldn’t throw away you for any wish for a prize, if I truly knew and liked you enough to call you a friend, or even a “ride-or-die.” [Seriously, people disrespect that term! You don’t say stuff like that and throw it away unless you’re stabbing someone in the back!]

[If they take a vote for best houseguest, and you don’t win?…the whole CBS network sucks! I cannot think of anyone else I’d want to hang out and party with in that house. You might be the first bartender I feel compelled to tip, and I haven’t even sat at your bar! Sure, again, I am still rooting for a few other people who I think have/deserve a chance. But, you, Reilly…I cannot say enough. In just a few episodes, you’ve lit a fire. And, for anyone to put that out this way…not even a split vote. That’s an abomination against human spirit. Did I miss something? Should I look over some non-broadcast footage to see you as a monster? Did you ever do or say anything the way Hisam has behaved? Did you speak out of turn (and get ratted out by a weasel) the way Luke did? I doubt that. So, why? Why the mob attack? Why kick the batteries out of the entertainment system? Why throw the party favors away before the party?]

Do you know the real, genuine meaning of “ride-or-die?” I don’t think anyone in that house did, especially Jag. If Jag had a vote and voted against you, he’s not your ride-or-die. [He’s my brother, not literally.] And, if you tell him it’s okay to vote against you to save himself, that’s very nice…but stupid (no offense, just truth). You came into this game for a chance to win; take it! Don’t give it away so quickly! I guarantee people like Cory and Jared will not sacrifice themselves for anyone (except Cirie, the queen alien, when she finally eats Jared for her last meal on the island); they won’t say they’re okay with losing to spare another person’s chances. I’m not saying you should tell Jag to throw himself under a bus, but there’s no reason to be a martyr this soon! You’re no more a risk to him than he is to himself! Don’t let one slip of the tongue shut you down! If you were MY ride-or-die (and I say this every season to anyone I see value in), I’d vote to save you, at my own risk.

This is as much a game about moral codes as it is prize money. If moral codes can kick someone out for saying something inappropriate, it can surely do something about this mob mentality problem. Is Hisam innocent for picking on you and Luke guilty for a casual slip when he was sort of speaking in support of Kirsten, who you unintentionally left railroaded by your own swift decisions? Heck no.]

[I said the same thing when Christmas was in the house…and then she foolishly broke her leg and became a sort of unhappy “floater,” which was really awkward to watch. I was convinced she needed to win, if I didn’t win (which I wasn’t going to, considering I wasn’t actually part of the game!).]

I would not put the gleam of the big prize above my chosen partner. The risk would still be the same. If I vote for you and get kicked out, my chances were not any better by voting against you. Anyone who disagrees is a coward living on a razor’s edge. 25 seasons into this game, every damn player should know better. You all should be smarter if you bothered to watch any of this.

I haven’t even watched every season, but I see between the lines. There is the televised propaganda, and then there is what really happens between people, some of which gets muddled and confused by the pressure from the cameras and crew. I get it. And, I don’t like it. But, I know I like you. And, I’d risk losing for you (unless I was able to learn some dark secret I don’t currently know, something that would go against my moral fiber).

** Reilly, if you can read this or my thoughts, I’d really like to speak with you, as a better friend than the house was to you. And, you know what? It’s okay if you don’t get a chance to go back into the house. [I’d love to see the show let you back in, but then I’d feel sick, again, because I fear you’d just face another round of crap and get booted, twice.] Because, not to sound arrogant, but…you’re too good for that lot. If they can’t see the sense in going against one gay man’s tide to keep a spark of joy in a house that’s going to be a trial for 90 days…if they can’t wait to evict you until you REALLY are a threat…they’re not worth you. Let them figure out how to entertain themselves and get over their upsets, because they chose to evict vitality, wit and charm. **

…Just to be fair. If you were placed in the same position as your housemates, would you vote against your allies? Would you vote against Jag, if he truly was your “ride-or-die”? I don’t know if Julie ever asked that question (of you). If you would have given up on Jag that easily, then you’re not much better than the rest of the houseguests. But, I’d like to think there’s more to you than that…even if you could do something so cowardly and gut-wrenching.

Isn’t what you do today as important as what you might do/receive tomorrow? Shouldn’t someone who respects his/her fellow players enough to stand by their word, at all costs, be more worthy of the prize than those who bend to every dictator out of fear?

As I tried to warn you from day 1, alliances suck. [But, at least, Hisam’s alliance can fudge the truth about being loyal, because his “side” followed orders.] Apparently, winning is all that matters. You win, and you become top of the food chain, for a week. Everyone nods in favor of the champion. Everyone hugs the loser goodbye, after stabbing the poor fool with a knife/vote. It’s all crap. Strategy even bends to mob mentality in this game. So much air time is wasted on every player’s strategy…when only the winner can actually claim his/her strategy, if he/she used it, worked. More often, luck turns a blind eye to the effort and favors the lucky fool who sat beside the laborer, the contender. Thus, you’re better off trying to make friends than chase the prize. But, I’m not sure any of those people deserve friendship if they couldn’t spare a vote for saving you.

[Again, what was the real risk? Are they all afraid of Hisam? ‘Sickening! If I had a circle of “friends” turn on me like that, I would not feel like being their friend, anymore. Nope. Now, sure, maybe Hisam feels the same way. He’s a person, too. He has feelings. But, you both said foolish things; he said his more publicly. Thus, he’s no more innocent or deserving than you. So, defend yourself! And, if no one sides with you, forget them! I really need to zip my mouth and stop repeating!]

If I was you, or in your shoes, the only reason I would have said anything to Hisam about him being your target would be if he outright threatened you (as he sort of did once he harbored fear of you leading a charge against him). And, even then, I’d be aware of how things I say can bite me in the ass. This game…you’ve got to be paranoid about your every move, which is why some bend to fear and go with the mob, thinking that will save them. Alliances work the same way; you think linking together will spare you loss. It doesn’t work. But, ride-or-dies should. The only reason a ride-or-die should fail, in this game, is when one of the two is evicted.

Tell me. Is the show pre-determined? Is this all phony hype to gather an audience, when the real winner(s) is/are already decided? Is it, as I suspect, a “firsts” thing, now?…if not always? Last season, it was the first “black” person (particularly an African-American woman). Actually, I think that was probably the only first to get special attention. Before last season, there were other firsts, but they were like shades of California living versus ground-breaking television. Ooh! First person to be the sibling of a previous player! Special attention! Oh! First returning houseguest from five seasons ago!…they really don’t have a life to pursue! You don’t have to say a word. NDA. I’m sure. I get it. ‘Sucks. But, I get it.

And, if there is no way we could connect/meet, if the forces of the CBS/Disney empire stand in the way of everything humanly possible, I’d like to think meeting someone (just) like you would certainly light up my life. Take that as you will. But, you seem like the sort of person who would make life so much easier to enjoy, allowing me to be far less self-conscious and take more risks, just to fall together and laugh away the mistakes we make. They wouldn’t even feel like mistakes, because we’d be too busy making jokes about them and rolling along, chasing the next adventure. I see you as a sort of female Huckleberry Finn (and me, Tom Sawyer…or flip those rolls, if you prefer to be Tom), who’d be the best person to share a raft rolling down the river of life, never knowing exactly where it goes but feeling safer going along for the ride with a friend.

HASH TAG…SAVE REILLY (BUELLER).  [chick-a-chick-aaah…]

Big Brother 25, USA, Day 12 Review, HoHaunted Musical Chairs

SUNDAY, AUGUST 13, DAY 12

At the end of the last episode, Day 9, the houseguests were sucked into the “Nether Region.”

[Every time I hear that term/name, I get the feeling something very perverse and wrong is happening to these players, something worse than catering to an obnoxious little person who pretends to be a player’s mother? Was that the gimmick? He dressed up as a mom and kept badgering a “cursed” houseguest? I think there was another season where he reappeared as a nagging athletic instructor who made the “cursed” one do so may reps of various exercises whenever he felt like being a pest, even if that meant waking the person up in the middle of the night, depriving them and their roommates of sleep.]

They arrive in a spooky neighborhood, where a “Nether-Gorgon” threatens them with game to decide who becomes the next HOH and who remains in the “Nether”…for whatever dumb reason.

[I’m not going to repeat what the monster says. Too many creeps say that. But, I don’t think a gorgon does that. You sure this isn’t some other form of “nether-monster?” Gorgons are generally more like semi-invincible ogres, with the exception of a “medusa” which could turn someone to stone with a look and maybe collect petrified corpses in a sort of gallery. The creep looks more like a gargoyle on stilts. I suppose a gargoyle might scare and carry victims off somewhere. But, do gargoyles do anything else? Don’t they just serve as flying monkeys? And, you’re already in the creepy zone; where are you going to take your prey? I don’t want to know, actually…except for legal and personal reasons. Can I bring Bowie Jane with me, for legal representation?]

[The game is decent but should have been saved for OCTOBERRR!!!…during which the houseguests will still be in the game and Halloween would be sensible. Anyone young enough to care about things like trick-or-treating and seasonal themes would probably appreciate this competition then. This BB retreat ends in November, not far from Thanksgiving. But, whatever.]

The creep on stilts gives the players clues which should help them find safe locations to hide, marked by round mats (like rubber pepperoni). Sort of like a scary game of musical chairs, whoever gets stuck in the unsafe seats gets sent back through the portal to the house, without the HOH title. [Just because you figure out where safety is doesn’t mean there will be a spot left for you to stand/hide.] The number of safe spots diminishes with each round of play. The final two players must piece together clues carved into the various locations to determine which of the two porch doors is a portal to the HOH room. The loser stays with the creep, where they are able to contact the other houseguests via an oversized (dumb-phone).

[Apparently the two oversized screens will be a means of communicating with players separated from the group and will probably see glimpses of the other three universes yet to be fully utilized. Buuut, how did the final two players get keys to the doors? When did they get the keys? Once they were the final two? The creep gave them the keys? The keys just sort of appear when they reach the doors.]

[Honestly, if you know the game will go into Halloween season, why not save the scary stuff for that? You’d at least make brother Jag happy, as he claims to favor scary stuff…and he can have it, the idiot. Oh, I’m so smart but will play dumb…yea, play dumb and tip everyone off to your “final two” alliance with Reilly, ya moron! Either he’s really dumb or he’s toying with Reilly and setting her up to fail. If it’s the latter, I’m gunning for his eviction. Take him out.]

So, Hisam wins HOH, and baby tattletale, Jared, is the loser who thought he had all the clues before everyone else…the cocky fool. [I thought he was going to be smart and win until the very end, when they put the clues together for the general audience. Phew!] Now, the “old people” are somewhat relieved, and the “young people” are running around like cartoon animals about to be shot by Elmer Dudd. And, Hisam says the one person who has already pecked at him is Reilly??

Did I not say she may have a big mouth that gets her into trouble? Well, this isn’t really her fault as much as it’s inevitable. So, Hisam is just reacting how anyone threatened–slightly or severely–would do. I suppose I would, too. But…it’s Reilly! Heck. Almost every guy in the house is smitten with her. She’s like Aphrodite crossed with Goldie Hawn. She magically appears naked on a clam shell with her pale blonde hair curling around her private parts. All the guys drop their jaws. Then she laughs and says, “Sock it to me!” AAAnd, the mood passes.

What remains sad about this game/show is that most challenges are geared toward younger people, people who can swim, climb ladders, zip-line, run, stand on a log in rain, snow and slop for eight hours, etc. If the young people get eliminated, leaving the older folks in the house, I doubt competitions will suddenly turn into a tabletop card game or low-impact aerobics. The older folks are going to suffer and possibly die. This may be the first season an EMT removes a player. If any challenges DO favor the older folks, the show’s gonna put viewers to sleep.

[What exactly would be a good challenge for someone like bald Felicia? She’s not the fierce lioness Jared’s Survivor-mom is (who I want to see fall off a slimy log, covered in crap, because she’s just wicked-ly dangerous, and not in a fun/competitive way. No one will feel good losing to her, at anything. I would never say “Well done.”

Cory is sprinting toward the same nasty boat. Every time they show his uneasy face, I get the feeling he’s up to no good. He, too, is a loose cannon, the sort of weasel that could sneak out a win just by surviving the company of a bigger threat/better player. He could bow to a master until November and find himself the big winner just for being an enduring sneak who won nothing and achieved nothing during the game. He’s that annoying sort that suffers from asthma, pops an inhaler in his mouth every time he gets spooked and fusses about how everyone and everything bothers him, that is if he had the nerve to speak up. Instead, he just shifts his eyes around and makes unsettling faces. He’s male Nicole Oktoberfist without the whining (so far)…he’s Milhouse from The Simpsons, but less amusing. He would be Jared if Cory’s mother was in the house; he’d tattle and play all sides.]

As soon as I saw what the scary neighborhood game required, I thought the older folks would not only fail but get trampled and troubled by the dark and creepiness.

[And, is it just me, or was the set design a re-used slasher movie set combined with a Geico commercial? You know the one…with the four teenagers escaping the masked murderer, hiding behind the wall of chainsaws in a garage.]

So, Reilly and Cameron are nominated (for eviction). And, Hisam aspires to go after Matt, as well. Jared saves Jag from nomination by sending him to the “Nether” via a special Scary-Verse request that came back with him, when he is released (some threat of staying in the “Nether” that was). [Stupid helping Stupid; great.] Also in the mail that came from the “Nether” is a clause about periodically sending other houseguests into the “Nether” to satisfy the creep in there and either get punished or granted a bonus. [‘Sounds sick and twisted and probably inappropriate for television, which is why they don’t show what actually happens in the “Nether.”]

Well, there’s always that Veto competition on Wednesday…

Seeing Cameron and Reilly nominated blows up my prediction for the final group. Way to go, “unexpected” show. If Reilly is kicked out, I want to find/speak with her ASAP. If Cameron is kicked out, that’s just wacky. He has done nothing to be a threat to anyone other than be part of the youthful alliance(s). Cameron is what I’d describe as one of the “gray people,” he hasn’t emerged from the introductory fog, yet. He’s just a dust bunny of brown fuzz, bouncing around the more active houseguests. If he’s included in anything, it’s because of his age, not so much his input. He’s just…there, for now. We probably won’t see his true colors–ha–until Day 60, if he gets that far.

I now wonder if Reilly really has any supporters or is just cruising after her big HOH win. When she made her first alliance, it seemed like she was alpha female. But, in just a few days, she’s turned into a movie monster people are plotting to thwart. And, those who aren’t saying it are probably thinking it or sure to side with the train that turns against her. So…so much for alliances. Ay?

Hisam keeps winning things and says he doesn’t want to win (and get a target put on him). That’s just annoying. And, the more I see of him, the less I give a crap. If that’s how Reilly feels, then, again, her and I are in agreement. There’s noble ambition Hisam…and then there is whiney loose-cannon Hisam, likely to shoot someone in the dark when he gets spooked. Clearly, he’s as athletic as the other big men, including the one already removed. So, comp’ threat? Duh. No wonder you’d be targeted. It’s not Reilly alone who’d make that call.

You get rid of Reilly, and you suck out most of the positive energy in the house. I don’t see too many cheery faces in this group. Most seem a tad depressed and paranoid. Reilly is like a cosmic balancing force, the moon keeping the tides at peace. Without her, I predict Red turns vicious and Blue becomes manic-depressive, bringing down the house with her foul mood. Maybe Red is secretly a gremlin you can’t feed after midnight. Heh. A were-possum. ANyway.

Let’s see what the Veto competition brings…

[IF Reilly gets spared, she needs to focus her attention on Hisam and get him out of the house before his “older-folks uprising” gets any stronger. Back-door him if you must. But, get him out, because he is a physical threat. I don’t think he would do as well at the mental challenges…but neither will most of the older folks. I thought Hisam might blend in and go ignored for a few weeks, but he’s already walking into victories and targeting people I like. That’s enough for me to break out the big guns and aim at him. Gatling gun unleashed! And, after Hisam, Jared, his mommy and little Cory. Purify the house. OR, convince Hisam that he is a fair sport/competitor who will be respected as such as long as he helps oust Jared, Cirie and Cory…but I doubt that would happen, considering Hisam has aligned himself with Cirie, and Cirie is linked to Jared.]

Big Brother 25, USA, Day 9 Review, Valentine’s Day

THURSDAY, AUG. 10, DAY 9

Hisam tries to rally the older folks to team up against the youngsters who have already formed more than one alliance with themselves, noting how the show has regularly pushed out the old oddballs sooner than the young majority. This is the first season to feature more than 2 older folks in the game…another first. So, keep that in mind as the show continues.

Luke said something inappropriate, involving a G-word?…but they claim it was a word for black folks? I can guess the word, and it would start with N, not G. [Unless the word was gangster?…and that’s bad because?…it stereotypes black folks?]

[According to TMZ, which I just happened to catch at the right time, the following day, Luke used THE N-word, twice. That’s not how I remember the scene, but it went so fast. And, somehow, within less than a day, TMZ mosquitoes got in touch with or acquired testimony from Luke’s parents who claim he has (ethnic) step-siblings and is not racist. I’d like to go out on a limb and say I’d peg Luke more likely an ignorant white guy than a racist one. But, TMZ just joked at Luke’s expense. They say it was the crew behind the scenes who caught and reported Luke, but from what they show of the other houseguests, IIII’m pretty sure Cory had a hand in the matter; he looks rather guilty in a few takes, the little tattletale. I still say Jared’s mom plays a part in Luke’s removal. But, now I think Cory is partially to blame. And, Hisam looks flabbergasted, standing behind Luke, when the latter spouts off in an oddly casual, comical way. I don’t think he even realized what he was saying as he tried to sound witty. I cannot believe these contestants were not previously screened for this sort of thing. And, you mean to tell me no one else in 25 seasons has slipped this way? No one spoke as casually? ‘Doubt that, unless their fishing from a very select “Christian” pool.]

But…that was enough for eviction?? I don’t particularly favor the guy, but he gets kicked out of the game for a slip of the tongue? He wasn’t even being confrontational or judgmental. [I know someone who uses the word “jag” as a casual insult for people he doesn’t like. Would that cause a shutdown of the show if he said it in front of…well, Jag?] He tried to make Kirsten feel better in her tough situation as the first target for eviction. He was trying to be social and casual and used one tiny inappropriate piece of slang! Cripes, BB. It was a slip he didn’t even know was out of line, apparently. He didn’t point a finger and start a fight with the word. But, I guess you can call this “the unexpected.”

Isn’t there such a thing as a verbal warning before such a final decision? Are there not moments, when the show is in it’s 24-7-access format, when the crew can correct and direct players? I seem to recall watching some of the 24-7 footage and hearing a crew person give directions before the group was recorded for broadcast television. I think someone used inappropriate language and was cautioned. Did anyone caution Luke after a previous slip?…was the televised incident not his first?

What a humiliating and scary scramble this is. ‘Comic book fail.

Here’s how I think Luke should have been evicted: He gets into a fight with Jared on Day 45, who is already tripping a negative nerve in my brain with his general aura and behavior. And, when it gets really heated, he points at Jared and says whatever is so offensive from today, foaming at the mouth with contempt because he can’t take Jared another day. Momma Cirie intervenes, and Luke says something hasty to her, too, because Mom is too much like a cunning lioness, watching her prey from a cliff, ready to pounce and tear them apart.

Now, THEN, you could present a case in which Luke was in the wrong, though rightfully angry. He had time to “learn the rules” (if he’s that stupid) and get to know people so he’d have a better idea of what’s fair and not fair to say on a more personal level, not to mention the more general levels these shows can’t seem to exploit enough. [Gee. I’m sure glad they didn’t bring in someone who uses more casual slurs/cussing or who is a heated Italian; that would be a disaster. Ay? Cuz Italians don’t get “woke,” we’re perpetually blunt and in your face. Kapeesh? Manners only go so far.] I’d rather he act wrongly in anger than casually say something he didn’t think was wrong until someone called him out. As far as I could see, he wasn’t being inappropriate or mean, just naive. He felt bad afterword and presumed he was in some kind of trouble; maybe he even realized something would happen for his slip. But, damn. Out already? ‘To do what? Does BB send him to some “re-training camp” to do community service for the people he wronged…with a slip of the tongue? Is Luke going to wear an orange jumpsuit and stab roadside garbage with a stick, in an ethnic neighborhood, now?

Actually, here is how I expected Luke to be evicted, on Day 78 (roughly estimated): He has survived this long because the dude is built like Hercules and has some wits, so he’s not a complete moron but is a “comp” machine. And, let’s face it; this show is Survivor on drugs. It’s a long, wacky endurance competition without any privacy. Luke has become quite the ladies’ man…for the few women who can appreciate that, this season. [This certainly isn’t the typical crowd of “hot singles” who pair up for multiple “showmances.” Is that cruelty toward older folks?] But, his final Y-number alliance is starting to fray. It’s time to bite the hands that joined you. And, he’s seen as the biggest threat to a weaker player’s victory, so majority rules against him. He’s on his way to Jury with a silly half-smirk on his big, strong face. The first few jury members make a comment about hoping Luke would win or not join them shortly before he does the latter, and everyone has an awkward (staged) laugh. For the final vote, he picks the carried floater or the biggest weasel, not the best strategist who worked the hardest to get to the finish line, not the one with the best reason to win (a real, truthful case of moral value, if there is one), and not someone who could be his best friend, as usual. The losers all take time to consider applying for another reality-TV show in the chain, wondering if that might provide better results at the CBS carnival. The End.

Even Julie Chen (Moonves), the hostess of the show for all 25 seasons, has said some stupid stuff, trying to be social with the houseguests. You cannot tell me whatever Luke did was death-on-delivery.

[Seriously, if my suspicions are right, and Cirie (and Jared) are behind this, I really hate those two people. They’re like the worst soccer players who cry foul and roll on the ground just to get a free kick before getting up and smiling, again, knowing they were not truly hurt. Hey, Cirie? Can you get Jared out of the house? Okay. Evicting Jared. Wait. I cannot do that. He is my son.]

I guess we all should just not say anything but small talk that’s scripted and safe, hmm? [Good luck with that.] But, it’s okay to utterly humiliate these players in other ways…yea. And, it’s okay to bang pots and pans until your few remaining housemates are so furiously annoyed they want to walk out. So, you could win the game by just being obnoxious. That makes sense. [Not.]

Talk about selective language and changes that can slip you up; so it’s okay to throw the word “bitches” around because one player used it and was stamped with that as a catchphrase. I see. But, whatever Luke said casually was utterly unacceptable. Hmm. As dumb as he wanted to play, I don’t think a health nut and geek, like him, would be that dumb. So, I am guessing what wasn’t aired was someone reporting him to Survivor Mom, who then reported him to the Diary Room crew like a good, cut-throat reality-gameshow player.

[I told you Jared and Cirie would be dangerous and blow up this game. They’re toxic. The only thing Jared seems good at is “crowing” to his mom, reporting every little thing he overhears, which is pathetic and annoying…and yet they air that much because the show can’t get enough whispering on camera??! They won’t win unless this is pre-arranged, or Cirie just has that sway with every authority. Heck. Just spare us the 100 days of gossip and fussing and hand her the check, while you’re at it, if she’s pleading unfairness somehow.]

In a previous season, there was a woman so religiously furious that she was throwing out words and names for housemates which would have made my skin split. I think she got away with it because everyone else in the house was so loosely religious that they didn’t care what she said. Or, maybe they were all part of the same cult. I would have been completely unraveled and on edge around her. I take my faith seriously and would never call someone such names (nor throw religious terms around) unless I was convinced they were true evil…and even then I’d avoid them because I don’t want that evil rubbing off on me. But, no one said that behavior was wrong. So, she could go around calling people whatever she wanted because it wasn’t “racial” (or one of the ugly cousins).

In another season, a very attractive and silly woman had a complete meltdown for what people were saying about and around her, and she was left alone until evicted, not right after the meltdown. [At least, I don’t think that’s when she left.] I’m sure she said a few things that I’d consider unnecessary. But, instead, she was spotlighted, almost heralded for it. I guess it’s okay if you’re of a “minority.” You can do whatever you want and be a star. But, white folks? No. You’re on the naughty list. So, watch your mouths.

Aaand, didn’t we just wrap up a season, last season, in which some young guy said something inappropriate about “black people” and was forced to make a public confession to the other housemates? Didn’t that take up a whole episode and bleed into other episodes? It’s a foggy memory. But, I recall a rather PSA-worthy episode which annoyed me for seeming so scripted.

There are at least two lawyer-type people among the cast, including Bowie Jane and Mecole; can we get their take on the case at hand? They were not witnesses, I don’t think. Do we need to set up The Big Brother Court to get a fair trial?

As expected, mob mentality, no matter what they say about racial slurs, stereotypes and supporting people who aren’t the majority, reigns supreme. Whatever the alpha dog says goes. And, Reilly leads the pack, already. Everyone falls in line, like dominoes. It’s rather pathetic, when you consider all the recorded footage of talk in corridors. What a huge waste of air time.

In short, Kirsten was nominated early and had no chance. So, let her cry and go home, where she can restart her start-up and, hopefully, move on with a healthy life. As predicted, the “black” folks (if I can use that word?) are not in charge, this season. Kirsten was just the first to go.

–Wh-What is with Jared and the head scarf??! What is he doing? Is it some kind of hair protector? Is he cultivating buds under there? It’s really stupid-looking (and not exactly masculine), along with his flashy bling. ‘Just my opinion. A shower or medical procedure cap (those thin scalp covers doctors and nurses wear in ORs/ERs) would be better. He flashes that beaming grin and converses with his mom too much, too. ‘Just saying.

I can’t quite tell if Kirsten is genuinely surprised to learn Jared is Cirie’s son, she looks as if she’s forcing herself to sound remotely surprised. Maybe she was just preoccupied with her own drama, having a reality check.

The goodbye videos continue to be annoying and poorly cut, piecing together bits of things the people confessed or tried to politely say. Reilly is making a blatant apology to someone she hastily targeted for doing the same thing she did (dipping into multiple alliances), in case Kirsten would ever have an impact on a final vote, should Reilly make it to the end. I wouldn’t dump the idea, but please just air the videos as the people voice them. Don’t piece together bits to make it sound…good. That looks shady. I can’t feel good about what someone says when I can easily see it was cut and pasted together. Heck. I could turn a suicide note into a sunny love letter, that way.

But, that’s just part of the show’s confusion. The crew pieces together everything and adds music for added impact, and people get confused by what just happened. Who said what when? How does anyone remember what happened what day when this “collage-ing” of episodes occurs? If someone watches what became of their confessions in the Diary Room, would they still believe it happened or wonder if their words were not cut, pasted and twisted? How does this help people already torn between strategy and friendship/love coexist in a positive way? Isn’t the whole mess just humiliating?

And, when you’re the first to go home, can you honestly tell them how you know them well and look forward to being friends on the outside, ninety-one days later? Even though you’ve spent over a week together, that doesn’t mean you took the time to get to know every person in a group this size, with all of their various social behaviors and comfort zones. I’ve been on a few retreats with as many people, and I was lucky if I learned a few things about half the crowd before we went our separate ways. I’d get more out of the introductions from the first episode of Big Brother, every season. And, as for friendship, by the time you get out, you may be a different person or in a very different mental place which denies you the opportunity to reconnect. Or, the person you hoped to connect with is not available for whatever reason. Maybe they no longer want to be found or the paperwork associated with the show denies contact for some reason.

A rather unpleasant and uneventful episode. But, plenty of food for thought…if you don’t mind the grumbling.

Oh! I didn’t know. Did you know? August 10th was Valentine’s Day. Hmm. Well, this is scary, humiliating, comical news that just scrambles my brain.

Big Brother 25, USA, Day 8 Review

Wednesday August 9th, Day 8

A humiliating and frustrating VETO competition forces competitors to stack 3-D cutouts of various flower and greenery shapes on a pillar while strapped to a harness that periodically gives them “atomic wedgies (in goofy outfits). Meanwhile, sprinklers spray them with water…why? It’s a big pain in the butt (and stressful for no reason). Honestly the staff of the show can rig the game to favor anyone they want; I see no automatic action set to a schedule or timer. So, whoever the show wants to lose can just be given a wedgie or cold shower to ruin everything. [Riiiigged!]

As I feared, Reilly is going too far with making multiple alliances. One is bad enough. But, more than one is deadly. She’s turning into that surfer guy from a previous season (who’s gone on to appear on other sad CBS reality-TV competitions).

[I should mention his name (because the show probably had more than one surfer dude over the many seasons)…but I won’t.] This particular surfer dude failed to win–he thought–because he made too many alliances. But, his loss came from more than that; it came with being partially responsible for getting a majority of the losers out of the house, who then typically turn on the best player to favor the weaker player and screw that “master plan.” So, whenever a player boasts about being smart enough to get the prize, early in the competition, I want to strangle them and scream. [Take your mind off the prize and focus on each day along the journey, making friendships where and when you can. The prize is the icing on a cake you don’t control. If you don’t get it, come away with something just as good or better.]

The winner of the VETO competition is the “token gay male” (to put it bluntly), Hisam, who will likely find himself at the crossroads between the “old folks” (calling themselves the Bye-Bye B@tches) and the young crowd, currently headed by Reilly. [Who’d have thunk she’d be the alpha/pack leader. I guess it’s finally time for a blonde “Cali girl” to lead the parade.] At that crossroads, he risks being cut somewhere in the middle of the season…either right before jury or as one of the first to join. He’s so laid-back in a way that he would be a floater if he wasn’t so buff. [Buff guys rarely “float” for long; they either step up or get cut by anyone who feels threatened/agitated.]

Checking on my other players-to-watch, America and Blue are floating into alignment with the other “youngsters, and poor Bowie Jane–who lied about her age when sharing with the group–has fallen in with the “Bye-Bye B#tches,” which likely means she will be the last of that group to survive and then forced to align with people who have already been aligned and not talking to her. Bowie Jane, with that one lazy decision, has put herself in hot water…and not the hot tub.

There’s another little plotting branch that I should mention, though I have zero interest in them. There is a former Survivor “all-star” and her son in the house, and they are quite the Oedipus couple. But, the aura they exude is toxic. I don’t like them. I suspect they will be a thorn in everyone’s plans, causing upsets they think will result in their favor until the tables turn. In previous seasons, the show has tried to insert special competitors (from previous seasons, at least once). Cousins of former players, twin siblings, spouses of former players…whatever. This only worked for whiney Nicole (the petite blonde “Oktober Fist” gal). [She was very cute when I first saw her. But, by the time she came back and won, I no longer cared for or supported her. Her whining and fussing had become excessive.] So, though they may tell me to expect the unexpected, I expect this “little twist” to fall into the cracks. If not, if the mom and/or son somehow make it to jury or–egad–the final five, the show is definitely rigged and paying off the mom for some reason.

[I would not be surprised if some participants in these shows are given the chance just to square some lawsuit/deal on the side, not televised. That or these contestants really have no “lives” and are making their own celebrity status off these reality shows, sort of a reverse rise to fame from what most celebrities face (those who start out television/movie stars before drooping into small-paycheck game-show and humiliating advertising gigs.]

At this rate, just when you think women run the house, I think the situation will get rather catty, explode and leave the currently quiet men to pick up the pieces. I predict players like Cory and Cameron will crawl out of the cat-fight debris, down the road, and suddenly find themselves among the jury lot, primed to make final plans for claiming the big prize. They will boast smarts they did not use, ignoring the veil that hangs over them among the women. I can also see Jag being among the final five just because the show likes to spotlight “firsts.” And, if he and Reilly make it to the final five, as they aspire to do in tonight’s episode, they will likely be together in the final three…which means Reilly would have a fair chance of winning if she is the bigger jerk and worse player (if that makes sense). If she remains top dog and best player until the end, she will likely be robbed of the big prize by an angry, jealous jury. If she “falls under the radar,” into Jag’s shadow, leaving him in the spotlight of intelligence, she has a chance to win.

Sure. The Survivor mom gives the women a slight edge. But, the women are not united and will not be. Nor will this be a second season in a row for the African-American community to take charge. Survivor mom and her son are in this for themselves. They have had zero compassion for their “sisters.” [There are no “brothers,” this season.] Reilly has a fair head start to being top dog. But, all it takes to de-throne her is turning either the boys (er, men) or enough of the women against her over some trifle of gossip, like digging up dirt on a politician. Call someone out as a racist, sexist or whatever-phobic…provided you have genuine evidence and a witness…and you can push them out the door. [Which is another reason Reilly, my beloved Reilly, needs to watch her mouth.]

Prediction for final five: Reilly, Jag, Cory, Cameron and Matt.

I’d like to see Bowie Jane in the final seven (and five), but she’s off to a rough start and hasn’t shown much social ability, which suits me just fine because I’d likely be an outsider, too, unless I jumped out of my comfort zone and took a few risks. [Another reason I’d pair up with her as a fierce twosome and defy the odds by winning crucial/most competitions.]

I cannot yet/quite predict final three, but I have my suspicions. Oh-Oh-Oh Reilly, Total Jag and Bobby Cameronhan seem a likely trio.

Big Brother 25, USA, Day 2 Review

****

This is a quick review of “Day 2” (technically Day 5?) of Big Brother (USA) 25, sparked by a stellar performance by one amazing blonde young woman, who just lived up to my expectations…except for the little scene in which she discussed–ugh–an alliance? Nooo! Don’t do it! [Didn’t she say, a moment earlier, she was going to pass on the idea?]

Anyway, Reilly…I love the gal. I just love her! The big challenge on Sunday is a balance-beam maze from the Comic Universe. And, while most–if not all of the other–players chose the complex turns of the yellow path, Reilly favored her agility over everything else and claimed the best time…and HoH title, without any of the fear other players mentioned. She is fearless and bold enough to not be a complete fool. Some may look at her as a dumb blonde, but my heart believes differently. She may yet get herself into trouble, but I’d gladly go with her if I knew she was dedicated to my side. [Which, knowing this game, is hard to say/secure. Friendships seem so fragile…and they get screwed by the pursuit of the big prize and alliances.]

It was just a simple, small decision. But, when she made it, she strengthened her place in my heart. Reilly, you’re a breath of fresh air and the sort of angel that gets someone out of a jam…or into one. You didn’t act absent-mindedly and just have dumb luck. You used smarts and instinct and exude so much joy that other players are already smitten with your perfume. You’re on track for success.

I adore you, Reilly. Exclamation point and the period.

[Wait. Did I see you wearing eyeglasses. Exclamation point, period…and an extra exclamation point.]

[But, mind your words and say less than you think. Already, you’re saying too much and stirring anger among “allies.” You’re like me; so I get it. It’s our crux when we’re uneasy. We babble; we think we have to fill silence with words, especially when eyes and cameras are upon us. Resist the impulse. I’d pull you aside (and correct you) if I could. Bold is refreshing. But, I don’t think what you just said about two housemates is (refreshing); nor was it smart. Though, your choice and reason for that choice may be surprisingly strategic (and sound). You do NOT know those people…at all. You just met. All you have to do is nominate/choose, admit the game requires this of you and say you don’t enjoy making the decision. Done. Walk away. If you’ve watched this show…and have made time for seasons of Survivor?…you ought to know better. You’re outnumbered until you’re not. It’s a long, winding road to the finish line. Yet, knowing you…knowing me…you’ll sort out a shortcut in no time and wish you didn’t have so many weeks left to get there. Don’t let me down. Okay? You can do this. And, even if you fail, unless you do something that turns a 180 in my gut, consider me a friend who desires your companionship.]

On a somewhat unrelated note, I think Izzy, the rather butch gal with glasses, is not a legitimate lesbian. She admitted an attraction to one of the guys (I already forget who), claiming she was roughly 98 percent into women but 2 percent crushing hard on the guy. I’m inclined to think the percentage of male interest is a bit higher…and she’s conditioned herself to think lesbian but, deep down, still has a heterosexual (or bisexual) “heart.” I’d say the deciding factor would be if you asked her how she’d feel about having sex with the guy. If she doesn’t get nauseous, as I do at the thought of sex with another guy–bleh!–she’s not a lesbian. I can admit to having guy crushes; there are some guys I will admit are very handsome (well built) and/or appealing for their “swagger.” But, I draw the line at anything intimate.

And, on another unrelated note, Cameron must be the brother of a former SNL castmate…namely Bobby Moynihan (however you spell that last name), who went on to voice one of the nephews in the Duck Tales reboot.

Tokyo Summer Olympics 2020/2021, Opening Ceremony in Review

*****

So, that happened.

I have said that, before, after previous Olympics ceremonies.  Accidents happen.  Technical difficulties happen.  What was intended to be a beautiful musical composition does not sound nice.  And, a torch of some sort is lit.  That would seem to be the average outcome since 2008’s epic Beijing opening.  Any opening ceremony before 2008 is a blur to me…except for the stellar torch lighting by the Greeks, using the flaming arrow to deliver the flame.  [It’s rather hard to top that one.]

Tokyo’s 2021 (classified as 2020, negating the impact of the current crisis) opening ceremony tried its best to delight under pressured conditions.  And, surprisingly, it managed a few highlights worth repeat watching.  I expected more in some areas and less in others.  I did not think the parade would happen and that the whole ceremony would be cut from five and a half? hours to two or less.  But, aside from the lack of crowd participation (no typical cameras flashing constantly from countless seats in the dark; no shouts and whistling), all of the desired elements were there…well, almost.

What was missing?

Back in 2016, Rio gave audiences a humorous and dazzling glimpse of what to expect from Tokyo in 2020.  That very technical trailer sparked a creative explosion inside me, some of which has painted itself on my blog space (in previous posts).  There were hints of video games and anime.  I…kind of…expected to see more of that in the opening ceremony.  But, the Prime Minister did NOT appear in his Mario costume.  There was no Pac-Man (or Puck-Man) simulation on the CG floor or around the stadium.  No one danced in a Hello Kitty mascot costume.  There are two MASCOTS for the season, and they did not appear, at all, during the opening ceremony.

At a previous Olympics ceremonies, there have been…technical difficulties which are both disappointing and remotely comical.  I do not think Tokyo’s most recent mistake was intended nor a spoof of any previous accident.  During the PICTOGRAMS (just making sure I spell it right; not “pictographs”) segment, there was a fairly obvious stumble with the Badminton display.  [I thought it was Tennis when I first saw the segment.]  I couldn’t resist a loud AWWH!  I knew what the performers were attempting, and it pained me to see them falter.  After all, the Olympics are known for feeding perfectionism.  SO much pressure to be perfect.  And, Japan is noted for being detail-oriented…with all of its precise origami folds.

Yet, the PICTOGRAMS segment is a must-watch moment.  [I watched it five times the day it aired.]

Also among the better moments, I was awed–as many who watched probably were–by the DRONES converting the Tokyo Summer Olympics 2020 logo into a…er…slightly rotating…globe above…er…slightly to one side of the main stadium.  I think TV viewers had a better view than the people in the stadium.  WHY was the drone globe not directly over the “crowd?”  Fear of falling drones?  Drone exhaust concerns?  Do drones make exhaust?  Anyway.  A beautiful image and use of technology paired with a song that is not particularly a personal favorite yet one that–with singers from around the world (singing in English?)–definitely generated a harmonizing fire, drawing all nations together.

Yes.  Let’s gather close together; everyone, now.  Oh, did we mention you should be wearing MASKS?  Well…maybe you can lower those masks for 30 seconds, now, when you’re on the medal ceremony platforms.  But, wait.  What are those athletes in the parade doing?  I see a number of bold faces NOT wearing masks…or failing to wear their masks, properly.  Some people seemed to think not covering their noses was a fairly good idea.  I know.  Temperatures have been on the rise.  The stadium heats up even faster with fire and active bodies.  But…masks, people.  Masks.  Safety for everyone.

In a parade where FLAG BEARERS were asked to enter the stadium in coed couples, not every nation seemed able to follow suit.  But…it was a nice idea!  Couples carrying the flags of their nations, together.  If we could try that, again, next time, maybe bearers would be more coordinated.  Maybe nations would plan ahead.  Still, some got into the spirit of the moment and made the most of it.  I bow with admiration to them.  I also give respect to the nations that tried to honor Tokyo with their outfits and accessories (like those trendy hand fans).  Nice work.

The brave and lucky “few” who entered the stadium were treated to a blizzard of paper birds.  [I hope those were safe to handle.]  How cool was that…cool souvenirs…and they made me think of a fun way to exchange notes with participants/audience members.  But…maybe not under crisis conditions.  Sigh.

Backing up to the beginning, there was a lovely image of a single figure “sprouting” into action (appearing like a plant sprout which blossomed into more and more active bodies).  This soon became a bit confusing and crowded by a group of what looked like mold spores or cheese globs connected to a red geometric shape which contracted and expanded across the field.  There was some mention of a unifying force.  But, all I saw was a Covid-19 explosion draining the vitality from the scene.  The “red” did not look like a happy, unifying force.  It looked and sounded dismal.

Later, there was another segment boasting “unity” and “diversity, featuring a number of Japanese “kids” in odd bowl-cut wigs and a number of colored blocks.  [This preceded the drone display, I think.]  I understood the basic…thought.  But, the whole lacked something.  It felt a bit “slapped-together.”  Still, it inspired me to craft a similar segment for a future opening/closing ceremony (if I ever have the opportunity to work with a creative team for such a project).

COMMERCIALS.  Who would have guessed commercials would make a greater effort to entertain this year?  I don’t remember enjoying commercials as much in previous years.  I just remember ads for credit-card companies featuring athletes purchasing various things.  They were not very clever…but very obvious.  Yes.  Okay.  Visa.  Got it.  But, this year, I was actually amused by “junk sleep,” by a talking car that drives itself and winks (though I can never quite hear “her” name, clearly), by a “tomorrow” that produces a shoe from a seed and finding a needle–er, phone–in a haystack.  ‘Plenty of amusing ads, as if I was watching the (American) Super Bowl.  And, yeah, there were those obvious credit-card ads, too.  But, apparently, Toyota is really filling the space, taking up the load like the metal ox.

KABUKI?  Yes!  PIANO?  No.  The brief showcase of kabuki theater was a nice touch but poorly explained.  Or, rather, I didn’t quite understand the effort.  But, man, that guy was toting a big sword!  And then, there was the “prodigy” piano portion which…if I may be frank…did nothing for me.  Okay, this might be a tad rude, but…I can rapidly hit piano keys, too!  Just watch!  That’s how the performance felt to me; a girl pounding the keys as fast as she could, like the tap dancer that preceded her tried to impress with his fast feet.  If I don’t feel the rhythm, it’s just hectic pacing.  Sorry.  [I did like the pianist’s appearance, though.]

If I heard correctly, the TORCH RELAY was cancelled for reasons related to the current health crisis.  I don’t understand how an outdoor relay would be any more hazardous than the one inside the stadium which blended “Paralympics” athletes with the more able-bodied variety.  [Did anyone catch the old man getting a “wedgie?”  I know, he needed help walking…but, seriously, he was given a “wedgie!”]  Maybe there was concern for crowds gathering around the relay runners?  Then, I could understand the concern.  But, if people were told to stay home/indoors and merely observe the relay on TV/devices…wouldn’t that have worked?  After all the talk about wood from all parts of Japan being brought together to make so many things, including the main stadium, why WOULDN’T Japan want to follow through with the authentic torch relay?

The torch lighting lacked a little something.  [Again, just try to top the Greeks with their flaming arrow.]  I was content with the unfolding shape.  But, I guess I thought Mt. Fuji would be…taller?  And, I thought something was going to be built around the mountain, considering all of the laborers seen earlier.  I suppose a torch not lighting would have been worse.  So…it’s lit…and that’s good.  [I find myself going back to the first championship of the Pokémon cartoon series, in Kanto, and looking for some firebird to carry the torch flame.]

I’d also like to applaud Tokyo for making a very “wooden” opening ceremony.  It appealed to my “Chinese astrological spirit” (so to speak).  From the Olympic rings to the bonsai trees behind reporters during interview portions and paper lanterns…just throw in some images of thriving bamboo, and I’ll be good.

Overall, I was not disappointed, considering the possible limitations, balancing the highlights with the shortcomings.  But, I did see room for improvement.

Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings on the Tokyo 2020/2021 opening ceremony.

Bend It Like Rocket League; a Nintendo-Switch Gamer Review

****

Do you feel the need, the need for speed? Do you like fast cars and the engine noises they make? Do you like remote-control cars and enjoy driving recklessly without the risk of losing your life? Do you like video games in which you can customize your “character” and change the music to suit your mood? Do you like soccer…er, futbol (for those who don’t accept the other sport name)…ice hockey, basketball, American football and the concept of using rocket-powered cars to play those sports?

If you answer yes to any of those questions, Rocket League, essentially a high-powered soccer/futbol game, designed for international internet interaction by Psyonix, may be good for your collection. But, this is just a review from the perspective of a Nintendo-Switch player who has been sampling the fast and furious action for about six months, since the game went “public” and expanded its membership to the Nintendo Switch, last summer. The PC origins of the game and its earlier fan base are beyond my limited, non-premium comprehension.

For readers who are among the average lot of players, this review may be too long and too much for you to handle; so you might as well forfeit and bail, now. It’s probably 4:20, somewhere. Go smoke some weed and write “poop” a thousand times, which is about as much as you can say in the game before you get filtered, disconnected and/or banned, though you can name yourself everything horrid and vulgar under the sun. When you’re done, maybe the game will let you play, again; you know; when the ban is lifted. [No. I will not say “Sorry” for those “Savage” words. You know who you are. And, trash talk, limited as it may be, is permitted.]

Now, for those who I have not ruffled with that statement, please, continue reading if you are interested in knowing more about this game and how it plays on the Nintendo Switch (not the PC or any other gaming system which runs the software).

With the Switch, you gain the advantage of connecting with other Switch players, with relative ease, and are able to alter your profile information, most importantly your profile picture and in-game name, allowing you to customize more than just your car, game settings and player anthems. [‘Lots of customization options, including the car’s frame, wheels, engine sound, exhaust stream, tire streaks, colors, decals and antenna decorations. But, many you’ll have to earn by entertaining the masses, like a gladiator in the ol’ Roman Coliseum.]

Other (non-Switch) players appear as either “AIs,” artificial units supplied by the game makers with names, apparently, taken from the movie Top Gun, or “Epic” (user-controlled) icons with some sort of coded identification. AIs fill in for teammates who leave a game before its end (for reasons I have already touched on and will touch, again, soon enough) and play with varying skill. Some AIs seem to play better than the average player and win games for the inept. Others appear to be just as lousy as their teammates or even worse and make costly mistakes in the faces of those trying to avoid one more loss in their “career.” [You can thank your “wingman” Goose, ignore Iceman or bicker with Jester for contributing to your loss.] On a good day…er, night…a pair of AIs will come to my rescue and play better than the players who left me because the team was down one point and they could not score (not to mention defend a goal or drive) to save their lives. [But, what fun is that, playing with “people” who can’t talk back? Oh. Right. That’s what most video-game players have been doing for decades before the age of internet gaming.]

Nintendo-Switch players are free to use short or long…er…colorful names, even symbols for those too shy or not creative enough to craft names. “Epic” names seem to be a given, something provided by the game, and are separate from the players’ chosen in-game names. “Epic” names also seem to be rather odd, random combinations of letters, numbers and words. [PC players might see things from a different perspective. I have not heard enough from any of them because chatting with other players remains a challenge, especially when they have 0 patience to stall their adrenaline rushes as well as greed for “swag” and pointless titles. Perhaps, they see Switch players the same way I see them, as faceless, colorless, odd names and numbers.]

[See my list of complaints below for other problems with chosen and Epic names.]

There is a WIDE assortment of cars to drive and customize. Lovers of car shows and/or movies like The Fast and the Furious and Back to the Future (well…for THE car) are sure to get a thrill. But, when you first start playing, your choices are very limited. As I’ve said before, you have to earn your treats and whistles. You are joining a league of gladiators who use cars to fight their battles and score goals in an arena run by emperors who wear Bluetooth wreaths upon their heads.

Your initial options include a boxy A-Team van called the Merc (which, unfortunately, I could not decorate to LOOK like the actual A-Team van), a reject Hot Wheels racecar called the Breakout and a common RC car called the Octane (which seems to be the most favored and an exceedingly annoying show-off in the hands of adept players). Each has earned some favor with previous players, and you can find videos from real people who will talk at great length about the matter. [I’ll try my best to spare you the expense.]

[Speaking of expense, if you feel so inclined, you can improve your playing experience by “subscribing” to a “premium account” which gives you far more freebies (as you gain rank) and allows you to trade things you don’t want (anymore) with other players. If you’d rather not invest actual money too quickly, you have the option to play the “free version” (as I have) and take your chances with unlocking anything that may interest you in investing more time and energy into this heavy-metal grudge match and geometry test.]

As you…er, progress…through the game, enduring losses, fighting feverishly for wins, earning and losing pointless rankings in the blink of an eye and putting up with teammates of varying skill and attitude, you’ll unlock more and–in my opinion–better options. Though, it seems, the ability of the car and its parts rests upon the player. I’ve seen players do amazing things with the car and parts I thought were useless. It also seems a car can improve its usefulness with investment of time and practice; a car or wheels you use for the first time may suddenly prove a sluggish challenge after spending countless hours with another model.

The average game consists of three players on two teams, orange and blue (though you don’t have to LOOK orange or blue), competing to score goals by driving and, sometimes, launching their cars, like rockets, in a spacious stadium with a dome and numerous glowing pads that provide extra “boost” to help you speed around and perform airborne stunts (you know, if you possess such superhuman skill and like to annoy players who struggle with motion sickness from 3D games). You can also play Doubles and one-on-one Duels, if you prefer less competition and more control; you can even customize the colors and other elements (like gravity and swapping the common ball with a cube) of a game to suit your interests.

[I find myself struggling to control the ball, when I am alone, and do not see much enjoyment in being pitted against no one or just one other player who cannot speak beyond a few restricted text messages. But, to each their own.]

You not only score points by hitting the ball (or puck in the ice-hockey variation) into the goal (or hoop in the Hoops/basketball variation); you can also earn “ping” (audience enthusiasm, I presume?) and participation points which can give you VIP status, potentially earning you a special prize…most often some lame “blueprint” that you’ll get multiple times and never pay to use because it’s not worth the price. Other prizes include new car models, wheels, profile “banners,” methods of painting your car, etc., etc. [I have yet to win a “goal explosion;” so I presume that is just for “premium” players?]

Every week, new challenges are offered to earn an XP (or EXP, aka experience, for you older players) boost and/or unlock a new something. [Don’t get your hopes up.] There are also tournaments you can host and/or enter, some which earn you official “tournament winner” status banners you can proudly display to annoy and scare off other players, though you might not have done anything to earn them in the company of some jaw-dropping gamers who seem born with the ability to send a toy car spinning like a tornado through the air, soaring directly from one goal to the other or bouncing a ball off a wall at such an angle that geometry teachers around the world would cry blood in amazement. [If only the players’ math grades were as stellar.]

There is also something called a “season” which consists of numerous challenges in blocks. Each time you complete a necessary number of challenges in a block, you unlock the next block and the chance to earn certain ranked prizes, including a new metallic finish for your car, like earning a bronze, silver or gold medal in the Olympics. [I reached Silver status in the first season.]

Once in a while, often for a special holiday (season), the game offers special arenas, game formats and/or “swag” you can earn by completing various tasks. There is a concept called “Rocket Labs” in which the makers provide unique arenas, sometimes with unique skills/tools you can use, for a limited time; which is unfortunate when you try and quickly find yourself attracted to a particular game format/arena. The recent Chinese-New-Year, Super Bowl and Halloween (Ghostbusters) events were particularly entertaining.

[On a personal note, I’d like to ask the makers of Rocket League to consider adding the American football variation to the “Extra” menu, to round out the sports options which already include ice hockey and basketball.]

When you need a break from intense, infuriating play, there are options to communicate and trade items with other players. BUT, first you have to add them to your “friend” list. [I know; challenging your anti-social, introverted comfort zones. Right?] Then, you have to PAY for a means of earning “credits” which you will need to trade/buy certain (not all) items and “build” blueprints, turning a crappy hologram into something you can use. I’ve been told there is a “starter package” for unlocking the trading feature, an expense of about five American dollars (in the USA). Chatting is free for those who have become “friends” (Epic or otherwise) and tragically disregarded by most players I’ve encountered; people are more interested in driving recklessly and wasting time against better players than getting to know their teammates and, maybe, working on strategies! [‘More on this in my next section.]

****

PERSONAL DIFFICULTIES AND COMPLAINTS

# Often enough, some sort of interference causes the controllers to fail.

Suddenly, my car is moving jarringly on its own and no longer sensibly participating in the game, allowing my team to lose and my rank to plummet as if I was playing blind and dumb. I do not know if this a means of player hacking to disable opponents or a game glitch. Perhaps, too much internet interaction is causing a jam like proton streams crossing in those old Ghostbusters movies. There is no swift way to convey to teammates that my controls are jammed; I’ve tried texting the information, but that risks me being kicked from the game, anyway, because I have to stop driving to type more letters than the average player ever uses. [A headset communication option (and alert/icon for every player who has it active) might be helpful, if everyone I happened to pair up with had one…but that’s a hoop dream.]

# There is the option of activating something called “ball cam” (which my one nephew insists should be disabled) to keep an eye on where the ball (or other target object) goes.

This is an attempt to replace your own human ability to follow the “ball” with your internal compass, turning your head and ears in that direction. Though the game has fairly good sound quality, meshing audience noise with engine sounds and background music which comes and goes in volume for various reasons, there is a lack of natural, instinctive motion awareness, being able to detect something beside or above you. Turning off “ball cam” leaves you with just whatever is in front of your car and whatever surrounding space you can see from the forward viewpoint; the only values I see in this are:
1) Reducing motion sickness from constantly shifting camera angles, sometimes throwing your view above the car where, hopefully, you can keep track of the “ball” in motion (as it soars past you into your goal) and
2) Allowing you to chase down annoying opponents and “demolish” them.
In either case, gameplay is challenging and, sometimes, nauseating, which pushes me to cease playing. There is just no substitute, it seems, for real, outdoor sports, perhaps, without a VR interface and space to play such a game. [Hmm…]

[I personally prefer the ball cam to be on. This seems to add to the controller/signal problem(s) I previously mentioned, but it’s better than not being able to use your peripheral vision and instincts.]

# Other players too often…well…suck. [This is not something the game’s makers can actually fix. But, it deserves to be said.]

When you play for the first time, maybe for a few weeks, you’ll soon realize–unless you were (dare I fuel anyone’s ego) “born to play”–you are “out of your league” and forced to learn how to control yourself as quickly as possible (or get out of the traffic jam). But, practice a bit more, and you’ll soon feel yourself improving and notice how much other players are a waste of your time and energy. [No offense…but…it’s true. And, I am far from what I’d call a “pro.”]

HOWEVER, what makes matters worse is when players turn cowardly in an instant, usually when the team is down by a single point, and decide to leave the game before it ends. Now, in any rational sport with an audience and teams of more than three players, you could not do this. But, in this game, you can. And, when you bail on a game, if it is a “ranked” or “competitive” game, you may lose your prized rank and be banned from playing the game, not just the round you were enjoying? a moment ago, any Rocket League game you wish to try within a set amount of time (if you are not banned completely from all RL usage). That’s right; there are penalties; and, occasionally, you get penalized for mechanical failure outside your control (as I have been).

Now, you, yourself, might want to leave a game before its end because, well, your team sucks. Maybe you are doing all of the work (or think you’re that hot) while your teammates can barely drive or hit a ball in the right direction. Maybe you are earning nothing while one teammate is creaming the competition, whether or not they flaunt their prowess with crowns and flashy moves. Maybe you just hate losing (or are a sore loser). Fine. But, it comes at a price. You might get away with some of it in the non-competitive “casual” arenas. But, you’ll have the gaming police on your tail in the ranked games. If you find your team sending a red SOS vote to forfeit and disappearing from your sides, you can be sure they will either pay or not be playing, again, for some time. But, while that’s their justice, you are still left to pay the price of facing a better team on your own! [And, that royally sucks.]

[So, I ask you, makers of Rocket League, is this justified punishment? Is it fair to be punished by losing rank and/or the ability to enter another game when a player on your team leaves the game, by his/her choice or technical failure? I am sure you tried to establish some kind of law system. But, it’s still not fair (or working fairly). I think players who stay with the game and lose, regardless, should not suffer a loss of rank, even if their team (or what’s left of it) loses. If not this, then there should be no banning from play for those who leave early; let those who are brave (or dumb) enough to stay in play, and let the cowards leave. And, if some glitch causes technical difficulties, it should NOT result in a ban and/or loss of rank, as I have suffered. That’s just cold.]

# Extra-personal peeve: I tire of players who call themselves some variation of “poop” and/or “faze” and either play horribly (and bail) or play so well that I almost feel humiliated for being beaten by poop. [It’s also really annoying playing someone who has a name like NOTAPRO who then plays like a pro and leaves you wondering why you bothered entering the arena. I hate “sorries” and most falsehoods. I also do not get along well with “420s” and any variation of an advertised drug abuser. Nor do I enjoy seeing people who give themselves very vulgar, sometimes horrific names (involving body parts) when players may very well be small children (who cannot drive or adequately hit a ball), leaving parents and relatives to answer uncomfortable questions.] I also despise the abusive use of the Octane car, which looks like nothing more than a common lightweight toy car, which too many players embellish with the over-used crowns and trophies, flaunting their supposed skill. There is A LOT of “posturing” in this game, and it quickly gets annoying.

# Players confuse in-game/Switch names with Epic names.

I, myself, did not realize the problem until someone I teamed up with freaked out over seeing a different name under the car of the person who “invited” her to “team up.” I also found someone who failed to find me on the list of people you “previously played with” to add as a friend. She received an invite from me, but from my “Epic name” which I did not even know I had until I puzzled over what she last said to me before leaving. It took me a long time to reconnect with her and clear up the confusion.

[You might give your Profile the name WinkiFace (which you will see in the games when you score or assist) but send an invite under the name CrookedPanda921 or PreviouslyBanned612.]

Oh; that thing in the corner by the Epic logo…what the heck is that name and who picked it for me?! No wonder they freaked out; even I could not say I had two names. I didn’t know until it was too late. Foreigners REALLY have a problem because some names don’t even translate into the English (or whatever that quasi-English alphabet is) format; they just come out as lines of white squares. Sigh. Such is the life of the game.

# Texting/Chatting is HORRIBLY filtered.

This is a HUGE issue for me, in part, because, often enough, what seems like an ordinary string of words is lumped together as something offensive and BLEEPED OUT, causing the recipient to wonder what horrible thing I just said, denying me from having a civil chat. YET, players are allowed to use awful, immoral, disgusting names…and that is NOT filtered or prohibited. What sense does this make? I feel like some “holy” boy band and their promise rings are running the chat service, banning text they feel is “poopy” or not “pruuudent.”

You could take the chat option away and save players some grief, but then a fair amount of the joy, from connecting with others around the world, would be lost. However, I am sure, fowl language, perverts and the like would not (be lost).

You have a limited variety of phrases and whatnot you can program to keys for use before, in and after a game. But, these ARE LIMITED and not to everyone’s interest/taste. I do not feel SAVAGE! or SORRY! (especially the way some people misuse that word) satisfies my texting needs. I’d love the option of custom text messages with the same key options, but, I’m equally sure, some players would abuse this to flash vulgar and otherwise disturbing messages. So…there seems to be no way to satisfy everyone.

Also, some players “spam” provided text messages until, at some point, the game finally bans them from using the feature (temporarily, I presume). This is (dare I repeat myself…also) annoying. You can adjust chat options to block one or both teams’ messages, but this ruins the opportunity to communicate with teammates, which, I like to think, is part of being a team! Otherwise, you’ve got tape over your hands and faces and can only scream silently when your teammate turns the wrong way, collides with you and/or ruins a chance to score/defend.

[I guess…I choose silence over annoying, repeating messages AND TEAMMATES WHO CHEER FOR THE OTHER TEAM, WHICH PLAYS BETTER THAN MY TEAM (BAILING AND/OR FAILING TO DEFEND/SCORE) AND DOES NOT CHEER FOR MY TEAM. What is up with that?! My sister says it’s good sportsmanship. Did it ever occur to her that a better (though less friendly and sociable) team might keep comments to themselves and not lick the boots of other players?…they just play well and gloat silently? Oh please, master player, let me praise you, so that you might add me to your Epic friend list and let me be on that S2-Championship-Winner team, with which I may earn a useless banner to flaunt and intimidate (or annoy) other players! Oh no! That guy is a S2 Championship Winner!…who did nothing but watch his stellar teammate do all the work, merely spinning through the air when every goal was scored. No one praises me like that, by the way, even if I thought I was that good.]

# Prizes are often underwhelming, and rankings are seemingly pointless. [At least, for non-premium players, I presume.]

You want a free blueprint or set of oddly colored wagon wheels (wheels only some Steam-Punk pothead might enjoy)? I’ve got plenty. If you want a new car model, profile banner or car topper, you’ll have to…uh…earn it as I have. The thing is…how you earn these rewards is sketchy. I could have a really great few games and get nothing. I could have one lucky shot, lose the game and get a prize. And, the value of the prize is also randomized, it seems. You could do very little to earn a wonderful prize and play your best to earn a lousy one. The whole dynamic is a bit like a claw machine; you deposit your time and energy and, hopefully, come out with something, without knowing if that something is worth more or less than what you paid.

[Here’s the most recent and most discouraging “kicker.” I completed the necessary tasks to finish “Season Two” and earn the triple-prize package. That is a LONG list of achievements to complete for three measily surpise eggs. But, the colors of those surprise eggs seemed tempting enough; I mean, they aren’t the lowest of prizes…right? Except…they sort of were/are. When I opened the coveted prize boxes, all I received were a duplicate of a car I had already won “at random,” a lousy set of wheels I’ll never use and a “decal” which I’d consider okay at best. THAT was my big reward for all I had done? THAT SUCKS! What was the big point of completing a season? To get gold paint for my car, like every other season? Or, maybe they will offer some annoying song EVERYONE has to play every minute to show their “status”…or a new crown/trophy you have to flaunt on top of your toy time bomb…er, car. Crap. Or, should I say, 420, 69, Big-Daddy, Faze-ing, ninja, supersonic, UN-lucky monster poop. What does it take to get a decent “goal explosion” like the “Titanium White Overgrowth,” the super-cute robotic bunny-woman DJ or the roaring T-Rex that makes me want to perpetually quote Jurassice Park?]

[Months before this, I completed another bigger-than-small challenge and collected 5 “golden presents.” I was advised to leave them shut and sell them as surprise eggs, next year, when they would (somehow) gain value like stocks or rare unopened packs of Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards. But, another voice prodded me to open them. When I listened to the latter, I was sufficiently disappointed, again (or…for the first time). One of the five prizes I’d call decent. The others I could have probably earned randomly through regular play; most I did not even plan on using. ‘Some reward. Psh.]

Similarly, you earn ranks of various kinds based upon performance AND completion of listed tasks. If you play well enough–psh, that’s asking a lot of a team that hasn’t already given itself a unified name and share the same internet service/server and/or room–you work your way up the list of ranks, including bronze, silver, gold, platinum, etc. If you lose well enough, down goes that rank (and, sometimes, your ability to enter certain tournaments and use other modes/features). But then, there is this other numerical ranking system that determines some of the prizes you receive and a status I don’t understand. It’s that little number that appears with a glowing bar under your picture and name. What is that? Whatever it is, you can improve this by completing tasks which award you XP bonuses.

I’ve had players see that numerical rank and sound astounded as if I was an ace player. That’s not how that works! It does not mean anyone is an ace by any means! All it seems to mean is that I have played enough and served up enough dog tricks to earn those XP bonuses which elevate the number. So, what is the point of calling that a level? I guess, it’s a level of dedication to gameplay? It shows how enslaved I am? It says Writingbolt is so addicted that he stuck around for X number of hours, not including the time spent customizing cars and trying to find music that doesn’t annoy him?

Which brings me to…

# The music is okay if you like Grand Theft Auto and/or moody techno/new-age tracks.

I can see myself playing those old, awful games, stealing vehicles and listening to various tunes while committing other crimes. One out of five songs is tolerable. I can count on one hand how many I like. [I’m partial to the vocals of Morgan Perry, but the videos that go with those songs are fairly inane, like old ads for Axe body spray without the humor.] Last “season,” an artist known as Slushii had a catchy tune I picked as my favorite, but it, too, has moments of annoying repetition and high-pitch grating. [To each their own. I WOULD like to receive/use the “goal explosion” with the robotic bunny-woman DJ, though.]

# Trading duplicate and/or unwanted prizes remains a challenge.

What adds to my annoyance is when teammates who fail to help you win a game decide to waste precious time by TYPING “TRade?” or “RTade wit me.” There are definite cases of dyslexia among those who play. Why would I want to trade with someone I can barely speak with (for numerous reasons) while in the middle of a game I am trying to win so I don’t lose rank? If you want to trade with me, first, offer friendship and try to get on my list; second, be sure I CAN trade; third, find out if I have any duplicates or unwanted items worth trading (I probably do not); and THEN we can consider a trade or two. But, don’t try talking trades in the middle of a game; I did not enter to have a fashion show.]

When you are playing with people who use computers or other gaming systems, there is, likely, a conflict of information exchange. There may be an inability to trade/transfer across “platforms.” [I have not confirmed this, yet.] So, if you don’t want to get “too technical,” enjoy what you can get and do not bother with trading. [However, if I could trade some duplicate crap…er, items for something like a goal explosion (I’ve been coveting), that’d be greeeeat (Office Space).]

****

I suppose an FAQ webpage, somewhere, might provide answers to many newcomers (and those who struggle to learn no matter how long they have played), but who, “these days,” would read it? 🙂 People barely take the time to read legal statements, manuals and warranty information.

****

In short, what you expect or hope to achieve or win is never guaranteed. Enjoy customizing the shiny toy guns…er, cars…and good teamwork, if you can establish it. Make real friends or quit before you waste too much of your precious time. That is, if you’re not so “baked” that you are still aware of time and space.

Why do I continue playing? Perhaps, an undying hope of connecting with players around the world and establishing some sort of valued friendship. It’s not likely the intended or main goal of most players (nor of the game’s makers), but that’s my SPIN on it. Without the friendships you COULD achieve (or should have to play with a solid team), the game is a futile chase of balls and other things among insulting, immoral and sometimes deeply troubled players who could round out a rogue’s gallery for Batman.

If you want my pick, I say learn how to flip (sideways, backwards and forwards), collect plenty of “boost” and go with the Dominus (until I discover a better model). The Octane, I’ve already insulted (above). The Merc has its charms when playing defense, as does the Road Hog and Marauder (all good for Ice Hockey but lousy in terms of speed). And, many of the other models you may “unlock” are colorful alternatives with no clear advantage. I’ve won a few that are so “short;” they can barely reach the ball in motion unless I drive directly forward/into the ball. They might as well be clown cars from Japan. The Dominus is fairly balanced, sufficiently heavy and looks slick in most of its “clothing;” you just need to adjust for its lack of height by honing jumping and flipping skills. [And, work on aim…oh, my horrible aim.]

Oh, who am I kidding? [I’m not being paid to write this.] Make REAL FRIENDS (even if you have to meet them online, first) and get outside, once in a while! Get fresh air and play real soccer…er, futbol…if it’s your thing. You can go shopping for stickers of flashy sportscars, some other rainy day, and fill a whole sticker book no one but you and fellow sticker collectors might appreciate.

So Much for Super Bowls…*hiccup!*

*****

Did I miss the latest Super Bowl?  When was that?  February 7th?  Sunday?  Oh darn.

Actually, I watched most of it.  I just wish I had missed the game…because I swear I knew how it would go.  I swear I relived the horrible thing that it was, except I don’t remember the commercials.  I just remember hating Tom Brady and his lot.  But, I remember him in Patriot attire, not Buccaneer.

The GOAT they call him.  HA!  Yea, he’s a goat, all right.  A goat that consumes his weight in water every day, or so I’ve heard.  Shouldn’t that make him the CAMEL?  The Careless Arsehole Making…Entertainment…Lousy?  It’s a work in progress.  I’ll hopefully get back to you on that one.  [I’m open to suggestions.]

I am just SO glad the commentators mentioned the nagging referees.  I am betting Brady’s company had a hand in that.  Sure.  On top of all the other scandals attached to his success, now we load up some refs with money and charm stuffed in their pockets.  Brady was first on the field that day; want to bet he made contact with the first-ever female ref?  I would not be surprised.  Put in a good word for me.  Wink.  Thanks, sweetheart.  Giselle means nothing.

Why did it seem like the Chiefs’ offensive line was crumbling around Mahomes and his bad toe/foot?  ‘Because they were afraid of being penalized for HOLDING.  Too often, the Chiefs were getting holding penalties.  And, in one instance, one Chief brushes against Brady while saying something.  And, that was inappropriate conduct.  Brady is even caught smirking, gloating in response to the penalty call.

At the start of the game, the commentators were in favor of the Chiefs winning.  By the end of the game, they were praising Brady, claiming he “did his thing.”  I am confused.  Back in the day, Brady’s thing was stellar quarterback skill.  At least, I thought it was.  I thought he was just so good that I had to admire AND hate him; that he rivaled Brett Favre and Joe Montana.  Now, is it fraud?  Is his skill swindling authorities to get his way?  He didn’t subscribe to advertising like so many other players.  [How many commercials featured Chiefs players and/or Packers’ Aaron Rodgers?  Were there Brady ads shown exclusively in Florida?]

As far as I could tell, Brady only benefitted from the excessive discipline of referees, aka penalties.  He didn’t even break a sweat!…in Florida!  He just walked down the field and planted the ball in hand-picked hands that didn’t have to spike it.  The whole experience was like watching a monopoly buy out some small store/company.  Congrats.  Now, Bob’s Search Engine is a Koogle-head and being turned into a grocery store chain for Biff Jezos.

And if the painful ending wasn’t bad enough…

1. Lacking commercials.  Advertising was definitely missing something…like alcohol.  Even the ever-horse-trotting Budweiser was amiss with some hints at a non-alcoholic beverage I never saw clearly.  That wasn’t even a commercial!  It was a magazine clipping they kept showing on TV.  Half of the commercials were for local broadcasting TV shows.  Doritos and M&Ms were the highlights, and even they were lost in a boring sea.  Jason Alexander was fishing for a show about nothing, reminiscing about his sweater days with a chocolate-sauce stain.  And, there were SO many pitches for African-American awareness…claiming Patrick Mahomes (I had no idea) was also “black”…on a night when the whitest guys in the place took all the joy out of the stadium……  [To be continued]
2. Victory parade madness.  ……[continued]….and threw the Lombardi trophy over open waters, while drunk, like it didn’t even matter, like it was some souvenir football tossed into the crowd.  I don’t even want to know why that happened.  I care but don’t want to know.  It’s just nuts.  It’s stupid.  It’s careless.  Which brings me back to my point about the CAMEL.  So much for all that noble talk about teamwork and good sportsmanship.  Bull-diddly-shat.

Yep.  That about sums it up.  ‘Not even 3 points to give.  ‘Not even a field goal.  ‘Because it wasn’t worth all the effort or spectacle.  It wasn’t worth the risk to everyone’s health/safety.  It wasn’t worth Black History Month and all the other merits achieved by those involved.  It was a lame joke and cruel punishment to Patrick Mahomes and his team.  Granted, if Mahomes knew he had that bad foot, he probably should not have been playing…but you know how people can pressure you to take risks.

[‘Which leads me back to the game between the Packers and Buccaneers, the one that gave Brady’s hand-picked victory-ensured team (of two) the open door to score another lame ring and grand (but not valued) trophy.   There were numerous opportunities when Rodgers could have run with the ball to aid his team.  But, he did not run for fear of more injuries, like his previous collar-bone, hand and leg fractures.  He was scared stiff.  Thankfully…or luckily?…that was not Brady’s fault.  Had I been battered like Rodgers, I might have been apprehensive, too.  But, where’s that cushy insurance package he’s always pitching?  Where’s his good neighbor?  I guess that’s bogus, too, Drake.]

The BEST part of Super Bowl 2021?  Surprisingly, that was the halftime show with The Weekend.  I am hardly a fan of the guy.  I amazingly recognized a few of the songs.  I thought he did a stellar job of working the entire field and light shows.  The countless characters wearing real-estate-grunt suits and facial underwear were a bit unsettling.  But, the whole worked rather well.  No fear of audience interfer–

Oh, wait.  There was that one streaker who put everyone at risk at the riskiest of times.  [I wonder how that impacted the “social-distancing” crisis.]

What was I talking about?  Never mind.  It probably wasn’t important.

Hey, you, reader!  Go long!  I’ll toss you my priceless trophy like a football!…like a football.

$1,000 for the Makers of G5 Games

****

I recently invited people to join me in playing an online/offline game made by the G5 company. Since then, I’ve sampled two of their very artistic…and very vexing *free* hidden item games. If you are familiar with the games, then you will likely find what I have to say fairly amusing. If you have no idea what I am talking about, feel free to find out for yourself or just carry on with your mindless scrolling.

Dear G5 Games,

I am so pleased with your work. I’d like to offer you $1,000. I know you normally ask for less to buy various starter kits, chests and whatnot. I’m saving time and being generous for all your wonderful artwork and…ehem…time-killing entertainmennnn-tah. But, there’s a catch.

To collect this $1,000, you must find it in a picture, a picture that is very dark and blurry like a bad painting of a barn in one color, a picture set at *Magister* level. And, the money will be disguised as a thin silver thread, like a slender antenna, which blends in with about a million other brush strokes in the blurry painting. It’s a very dark picture; so you’ll likely need a flashlight (which is quite useless and only lasts five seconds) or a torch (which is slightly less useless and just as temporary). Just to make you feel better…or worse…I’m going to surround the item you are seeking with dozens of other things you’d like, including other dollar amounts, money bags, etc. Oh, wouldn’t that be sweet. But, no; they are just there to distract you…like so many pictures we players must search over and over and over and over and over and over again, looking at all the objects we normally cannot find so easily, laid out in front of us, mocking us.

Even if you find the silver thread, which is no bigger than an eyelash and partially hidden behind another section of the picture, you’ll find it difficult to click on. If you get weak, you can just wait a day to recharge and try again; or spend a few talismans to rev yourself back up in a fraction of that time.

But, wait, there’s more.

Before you can even reach this picture, you must make a journey of a two hundred and eighty-five levels, gathering three billion coins and unfathomable “experience.” Are you up to the task? Cuz you sure put us players to it!

[You go from needing 20,000 coins to open one portal in Twin Moons to 84,000?! And, to rack up that kind of coin, you need to get combiners that are only available in portals miles upon miles ahead of what’s accessible, spend countless hours making what is available even more difficult and expensive than it already is…or buy our way there? You folks are cruel and nuts. You might as well just make all the portals accessible at no cost or need to collect a billion bitty things and just sell the game for $20 in a form that can be installed, uninstalled and reinstalled with ease, and call it a year. Because you are proving there is no “fun” in “game.” Like some video games of the past, you have lots of nice graphics but are lacking elsewhere. I’ve been tempted to try some of your other games, but I reaaaaally don’t want to go through more of the same grief. Wait; I am having a psychic moment…the big solution at the end of the game, the answer to the mystery…oh, there our missing elder man is, in the final picture, like reaching the end of Candy Land. Big whoop. By the time I get there, I’ll look back on all the time I invested in the games and cry.]

And, should you succeed, you may come away with any number of other useless items for combining one of your many random collections of images which the characters in the games fake caring about for flimsy reasons…or no reward at all. You might solve the picture and get nothing. That happens. Right? But, do try and try again and again, searching a thousand times if you must to find that lucky thread of payment. Then you can spend it on more useless stuff in your own games…or pay a small portion of a medical bill…maybe something for your eyes.

So, aren’t you glad I sent this payment? Aren’t you glad you made these ridiculously challenging and frustrating games that can crash, show pictures that don’t belong in the games and lose progress gained in a blink? Thank you for making them *free.* Now, I’d like my eyesight, time and heaps of patience back. [But, lovely artwork…the not-the-least-bit-creepy parts (not just about every male character that looks like some secretive killer), anyway.]

Sincerely, your pal,
Writingbolt

PS  The recent Halloween festival in Secret Society has been remotely refreshing, considering it didn’t involve a glitch…though that last glitch was somehow tied to downloading another of your games which does not seem to recharge energy and follow the clock/calendar of the other…as if you just cast that old child aside.

Award Shows Are Bogus ver. 081419

***

I’ve been fairly certain for a while. But, now, I am convinced; award shows are complete crap, utter rubbish, excessively expensive lies designed to look glamorous at the expense of souls.

All participants…all of those members of the “foreign press”…are either naïve or devious scum. Now, some of that naïve scum could redeem itself; there’s still hope. But, those who run the machines are surely black as sin or the thickest roots in an underground railroad to decide, like some Hunger Games contest, which celebrities and “little people” (the faceless crew members who outnumber the big names and slave over the projects of those who call themselves producers) get food and care for the year and who gets to fight over the scraps and eat shit. The lucky ones get their names attached to the next box-office big ticket while the bottom of the food chain gets to show of their bodies and talk stupid in the films that come out at the end of summer, when “kids” go back to school and no one gives a flying fook what they watch.

Now, breathe. And, let me shed a little light on the shape of this crap…or, rather, what supports my stomach-turning, fury-stoking feelings.

Every year, there’s that “best picture” film that takes one big award and another…and another…and gets so much buzz from all those cracked camera-toting tabloid freak shows who put every famous and not-so-famous face on the spot with stupid questions, testing them to see if they crack and say anything different from their last interview, anything negative about the people they recently knew as part of the crew. Everybody is “amazing.” Every experience is something good for the resume, even if the person secretly loathed or struggled through it. Every director is uniquely talented. Every interview is to make sure the next job goes smoothly and to collect a check; so don’t expect anyone to answer openly and honestly, even if you’re straight-shooting, expected-to-cuss Samuel L. Jackson.

So, why do we even do interviews?! It’s not for the fans. It’s for promotion…more and more promotion. An interview is a talking movie poster which can’t say anything about what happens in the movie, due to contractual threats that pretty much shackle all who partake in making the expensive torture package that actors refuse to watch because they struggled through it; they didn’t enjoy it. An interview is just a painful showcase of faces who habitually look down when they feel the urge to lie, to hold in the vomit and glaze over what they’d like to say. Hey! Look who’s in the movie! And, they’re talking without reading a script! How amazing…like watching animals behind glass in a zoo.

If you really enjoyed making something, wouldn’t you want to look at it, again? Or, do you go crazy because you find a mistake and realize you can’t correct it? Your hard work is now someone else’s baby, and you have no control. So, all your effort amounts to what someone makes of it. That’s rather cruel punishment in its own way and not respectful to the creative soul.

And, I have sampled a number of these “amazing” films. Not one has earned 5 out of 5 stars with me; they’re all lucky if they get a 3. I saw The English Patient, Schindler’s List, The Hurt Locker and, just recently, The Shape of Water. Oh, there was SO much buzz about The Shape of Water, not too long ago. And, I remember the high praise the rare FEMALE director got for The Hurt Locker. Of all the films I just mentioned, I guess The Hurt Locker was the best…but that’s not saying much. When you put Average Joe in a pageant with four corpses beaten to a bloody pulp, of course Average Joe is going to look good and smell all the sweeter. It’s like that one girl in school who gathers a cluster of less pretty girls around her so she stands out as the pretty one; it’s like some status tactic used by schools of fish.

Now, let me come right out and say I did not see these films in the theater for a good reason; I had my doubts from the start. And, again, it took just one lousy lie of a rental to sully my belief in all the award talk. But, I keep hope alive, and I…I guess maybe I’m a little naïve, too, yet, to give these other “hits” a chance. I want to see what makes them so great.

So, let’s talk about my latest mistake, The Shape of Water. Oh, how the director got lauded with praise and looked so sweet and innocent on stage, giving his grand speech and kudos to all who let him make such a…gruesome, rude and lewd film. If I may be so frank, it’s as if he was extremely horny and hungry while watching the old Creature from the Black Lagoon, late at night, and then had the nerve to think making a remake with more nudity and foul language was a great idea. What a damn creative fool.

Sally Hawkins is the poster woman for the demure, docile, closet freak. Thank goodness she didn’t go on some murderous rampage; that would have really ruined the part. All crap aside, she gave the film an ounce of redemption…well, aside from what she had to do in the first half-hour. Seriously, del Toro, excessive nudity…excessive because it had NOTHING to do with the story. Nada. You didn’t get a close up of her scars until the one guy examined her. No; you just had her get naked, over and over, again, for your personal amusement.

And, what was with the other sex scene? Why didn’t you go one step or two steps further? Why not have the gay artist–with his foul mouth and obsessive dialogue–take advantage of the pie guy? Come on, throw in some finger this and f-that while they indulge in some gay sex. Or, why couldn’t Octavia Spencer get naked with her husband? Why can’t black and gay folks get fair sex play? Booo! No, I’m just kidding. But, really, why include any sex other than what was the focus of the film? There only had to be one sex scene, and you spoiled it before they got in the tub.

I would not be surprised if you ended up in court with all the other poor and stupid men who are getting grilled for indecent actions. I would not be surprised if something popped out of your closet. Why can’t you keep certain lewd thoughts to yourself? And, why did you have to make the film so graphic when it could have been a much nicer and just as exotic love story?

You went down some Stephen King, Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino side street and drove through Frank Miller’s neighborhood. You took Splash and turned it into Sin City. Oh, sure the ending is bittersweet and finally happy; but I ate a ton of shit before I could even try to smile; so the whole experience left me queasy. You poured acid on my whipped cream sundae. You’re not the worst film maker out there…but The Shape of Water had better not be your opus. I’d like the water to wash it out of my memory so I can fantasize, again. Your “big hit” is a giant seagull dropping, not something I could comfortably watch more than once. It has little to no replay value; I’d snip off just the final ten minutes and call it a lovely short film that encompasses the best of the story…which pretty much makes the movie another Citizen Kane; just spare us the horrific two-plus hours and tell us it was your childhood sled.

You want my humble rating? Would that do anything for you? I’d give The Shape of Water 1 out of 5 stars, overall. I’d give Sally Hawkins 4 stars for being a beautiful, caring freak who thankfully didn’t do anything too gross or wrong to make me hate her; and I feel sorry for her, for having to expose herself the way she did. I’d give cinematography 3 stars, maybe 4, because the movie did have a decent colored noir quality to it; it suited a Dick Tracy sort of story. But, Octavia Spencer pretty much reprised her roll in The Help; so what can I rave about that? One black woman in an otherwise white world? And, the story? I already said; it’s The Creature from the Black Lagoon in modern 3-DUH, Dolby foul mouth, bloody Sunday whack-a-vision. You get no points for creativity other than visual artistry, period. You are just another big name with all of the latest tools in your kit, and when given the chance to build a sand castle, you played with mud pies. When you had the chance to focus on a Cinderella story, you chose to screw the docile doe in the dark room; you put the horny jerk in the same cage with the last unicorn (and thank goodness *that* didn’t happen). [And, FYI, oddities eating cats went out with Alf…and it wasn’t any funnier then, either…but it was suggested, not on camera.]

But, ya all come back now and watch my masterpiece, again, ya hear? This is a family show…not. It definitely earns its R rating, unlike some films that only get an R because of one lousy little cross of the line. I’d say The Shape of Water even edges an X rating…because there was more flashing of boob and overt sex than most R-rated films I’ve seen.

Here’s a brief lesson in the school of suggestion: Sex, nudity and gore can be veiled and still convey the message.
1) When Sally’s character takes a bath or shower, we could see her silhouette behind a shower curtain, and we’d still know she’s naked. Or, you could have her enter the bathroom and cut to her already covered in soap suds; no need to expose the actress or any body double you may have used…which would only make the whole effort even more stupid and pointless.

When I was in school, my English/writing teachers would draw red circles around portions of stories that didn’t contribute to the plot or characters and took away from the overall enjoyment. What you included (which turned me off and made me ill) was definitely not key to anything; I am sure most viewers would be aware of a person needing to get naked for a bath or having sex with a wife…or were you afraid people might think the creep’s marriage was void of sex?…hey, that might have made that other scene with the cleaning lady better; ya know?

2) A rather pointless sex scene could be conveyed with sounds and/or two flirty people slipping into a room together; ya don’t have to show the woman exposing herself and the cruel, creepy, FBI-ish, White-Collar-Bizarro guy throttling her on the bed!

[How to curb/replace the excessive foul and lewd language is another matter…I’d just omit it. It didn’t make the love story any prettier. It just lumped your enchanting crapper-piece with the likes of Superbad and…I can’t think of any other crappers at the moment…thank goodness they are washed from memory. I’ve seen movies with rape scenes that were just as creepy/unsettling but more suggestive than overt.]

3) When your feature creature wants to eat another animal… Couldn’t you have shown the creature holding the cat and then cut away to an audio clip of someone crunching celery. Then, when the owner returns, have him look down and recoil in horror…and we’d get it! We’d know why he’s horrified. Ya don’t have to show all the bits and blood. Bleh!

Can you imagine some steamy love story where the man makes the woman bleed in the you-know-what area and one or both lovers develop a scarring STD after they have their sweaty fun? [Ya know what; that just gave me a crazy idea for a sexual alien comedy that would still be far cleaner than your mess.] Would you enjoy that movie as much as a more suggestive one without the unfortunate side effects of some realities? There’s a line between realistic and horrifying reality…and you sure cross it, mister, but not for the benefit of the viewers…unless you want to scare people away from love fantasies and support eating disorders…because I could have developed one had I kept my eyes glued on the screen and not used the fast-forward button.

At this rate, I could lose my appetite for film, altogether, before I am old enough to be a cripple stuck in a wheelchair in front of some TV with a bunch of other elder folks losing their minds to medication abuse. Just think…what’s the use in going into movie-making, aspiring to create some soul-satisfying masterpiece when the whole industry is one more mine field of twisted metal, of warping your dreams into nightmares and slave labor? People are dying and committing suicide for some reason. And, it doesn’t surprise me when I try to grasp what all goes into this industry and the infuriating cover-ups that get splashed all over TV screens, even when some creative soul dies tragically.

Losing my appetite for film would be a serious crime against nature, against my creative soul. The water is so polluted, even I am having a hard time writing/creating anything spectacular; but, then again, I work alone, most of the time. I don’t have a clue what it’s like to be surrounded by teammates who can actually work together to make something run like clockwork and make people wonder what the budget must have been to create such a spectacle.

So, I must remind myself not to pay a lick of attention to award shows. Or, at least, I must go to bed before that final fifteen minutes into overtime when we viewers are supposed to be holding our breaths for the big reveal, the final envelope of crap. I must write them off and stick to the trailers that work for me.

Sell me a good trailer, and I’ll give you a chance. And, if you lie to me…..well, let’s just say my response will be…amazing, amazing crying crazy amazing. You’ll certainly find me writing you off my interest list. And, I have ways of swaying the masses. Not that it matters much when the majority seems to be losing all sense of creativity, as if they’ve become so numb from countless abusive images that they no longer have the brain cells to produce anything remotely as good as the stories they refuse to let go, stories from so long ago, they’ve been dragged behind cars for decades, tossing through one remake after another like tin cans on strings.

You know who the real losers are here (aside from creative souls)? The movie theaters and good people who appreciate them. All of the modern technology this world pushes for and all of the crappy, expensive films that get made…bump out all of the wonderful places that one could say feel like a second home. The day when someone decides to shut down the last movie theater in favor of some microscopic internet service station (ding! ding! goes the air tube keeping you couch potatoes alive), I’m sure to cry or have a considerably furious stomach upset because it will be like a nuclear bomb going off and destroying some serene tourist attraction. [Don’t get me started on the horrors of nuclear power pursuits.]

There wouldn’t be any concern for piracy if people didn’t introduce devices that could do such a thing. And, if movie theaters could afford better security without making visitors feel violated like other venues that practically X-ray you when you walk through, if people still cared, maybe thieves wouldn’t get away with what they still do, even after the days of VHS and the most primitive of camcorders. I don’t know why anyone cares about bootlegging, lately…because I am not sure what films are really worth stealing. Or, is that why so many films suck and twist the original story material?…is that why Michael Bay mangled Transformers?…because too many pirates were trying to make a buck off other people’s work? So, since the dawn of film piracy, everyone in the industry just started pumping out their worst, not their best? We settled into dependency upon whatever the latest technology is and putting up poster children as feature stars? Are we selling good stories or the latest model of movie camera you can only get at exclusive electronics stores?…on sale this week until tomorrow…flash sale!

And, breathe. I…don’t know how to wrap this up. The stench is just pouring out of me. So, I leave it as it is, like a broken garbage bag. I had to air it out, though, so I didn’t die from the stink in silence. Now, you know, and knowing is half the battle.