Archive for the 'Creations' Category

06
Jul
20

Fishy Fantasy Email From Beloved Tay

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Sooo…I got an email the other day.  And, the subject was almost too good to resist.  THE Taylor Alison (or just Tay in my book) Swift was inviting ME to play a game with her…a game featuring her…or maaaybe an online game she would play with me?  But, when I daringly opened the thing, I found this…

suspiciousemail-G5-jungleadventure-ad_tay-swift-lookalike-teaser_ap-CSPP-750x1050-144px-2

Oh…the thought…the sheer pleasure of the possibility…

But, alas, I could not click that button.  Not because I did not want that gift…but because I could not trust the source.  If only one could visually make contact with Tay…like over Skype or something similar…and confirm this game/email was indeed from her.

Ah well.  I keep hoping for someday.

suspiciousemail-G5-jungleadventure-ad_tay-swift-lookalike-teaser_ap-CSPP-crop-144px-2C

23
Jun
20

A Minor Aid for Feminine Outrage

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So, I have this collection of images on rotation for a sort of screen saver…

And, among the images, I see one with a gal about to explode from her temper…

And, it gets me thinking about Jen Walters, aka Marvel’s original She-Hulk…

And so, I did a lil tweaking which lead to these images; I made an effort not to leave anyone out.  But, let me know if I need to make another variation; give me the details of how she should look to match your type.   Feel free to use the appropriate image with your significant pain-in-the-ass when you want to strangle them.

youremakingmeangry-jenwalters-shehulk-shinobu-UY-fusion_ap-CSPP-1150x1400-72px-2G

 

23
Jun
20

What Is…a little subtle humor when it’s needed.

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So, I was dabbling in older video games, not long ago.  And, this thought occurred to me….

Ever since Alex Trebek started doing ads for insurance, I thought…here’s another poor celebrity tool subjecting himself to this sort of advertising because the day job just isn’t cutting it and/or is on the way out.   It’s the graveyard of most celebrities, it seems; advertising.  We may not see all of their commercials because some air in foreign countries.  But, they’re out there, wearing those non-cardboard signs on the side streets of Television City.

So, what if ol’ Alex went down with the Jeopardy ship and had a lil identity crisis.  Here’s how I see it…..  [As told by 1990s Sega graphics.]

identitycrisis-1_alextrebek-deluxejeopardy-sega-1990s-videogame-BLUE-edit_ap-CSPP-800x1200-1Bidentitycrisis-2_alextrebek-deluxejeopardy-sega-1990s-videogame-RED-edit_ap-CSPP-800x1200-2Ridentitycrisis-3_alextrebek-deluxejeopardy-sega-1990s-videogame-GREEN-edit_ap-CSPP-800x1200-3Pidentitycrisis-3_alextrebek-deluxejeopardy-sega-1990s-videogame-PURPLE-edit_ap-CSPP-800x1200-4Pidentitycrisis-5_alextrebek-deluxejeopardy-sega-1990s-videogame-YELLOW-edit_ap-CSPP-800x1200-5Y

 

13
May
20

C-O-nside-R-ing ON-e A-dventurous summer vacation

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I think I am overdue for a summer vacation.  I know the timing is poor.  But, the boss is giving me a discount and a subtle push to vacate.  So, I am taking the hint.  See you in a few weeks!…………

vacant-covid-wulan-china-beach-postcard_2020-quarantinehumor_ap-CSPP-800x1200-72px-3A

…………if I’m still alive.

[Actually, I was just having another creative/dark-humor moment and wanted to whip up some silly postcards.]

04
May
20

Red Carpet Follies; TP Crisis Humor

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Overture…

Curtain, lights….

This is it…

The night of nights…

And, oh, what heights we’ll hit…

On with the show; this is it!

So, I’ve been thinking about the current crisis and how toilet paper…or ‘bathroom tissue’…has become a highly sought-after commodity…which got me thinking about celebrities and the expensive outfits they assemble every night there’s an award show, which seems to be quite frequently, if you look around the globe.  But, what if the two concepts collided…the TP demand/crisis and the red carpet showcase…what if……

0-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-title-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-1A1-lauradern-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-thoughts-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-1B2-nancyodell-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-paperdollclothes-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-2D3-margotrobbie-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-thoughts-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-3C4-constancewu-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-northernexposure-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-4C5-amyadams-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-papermachemishap-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-5C6-reneezellweger-redcarpetfollies-TPdress-quotedbigroll-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-67-THEEND-redcarpetfollies-TPdresses-emptyroll-magazinepage_ap-CSPP-1500x1100-7

Ablee-ablee!  Uh, that’s all, folks!

 

 

22
Apr
20

Quarantine Humor: ITT Doesn’t Matter

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Well, this explains ITTself.HumanResources-humor-hiringpostquarantine-nohaircuts_comics-ap-CSPP-2020-1200x800-1B

 

And, remember.  We’re in this together.  😛

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20
Apr
20

Pokémon Sword Funnies, Part 3

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Just a taste of my recent mental meandering.  Of course, the current crisis has been on my mind; and I’ve tried to infuse/keep a sense of humor about even the most serious details.  It’s not meant to offend or upset anyone.  So, if anything I say bothers you…well, find another blog to ogle.

pokemon-sword-n-shield-funnies_lab-tech-safe-distance-crisis-testing-statement_ap-2020-1280x720-4

Seriously.   I-Is that supposed to be a baby bottle or some kind of syringe with which I am not familiar?  I-It just looks wrong.  And, I refuse to use those things on my Pokémon.  🙂

The Noibat represents all of the excess noise and commotion caused by the media.  The Hatterene is a sort of deception; she is a dangerous beauty with an alien face and the potential to heal…all of which adds up to a need to be aware of possibilities and to be cautious about what you hear, accept and use upon yourself.  Notice the “doc” is wearing a mask which may be hiding something.  And, her eyes are green…which, for any fellow Marvel Comics fan, usually suggests trouble.

pokemon-sword-n-shield-funnies_lab-tech-vamp-crisis-dead-bloodbank-statement-2_ap-2020-1280x720-1pokemon-sword-n-shield-funnies_writingbolt-vs-wulanlabtechnician-whodoyoubringtothefight_ap-2020-1280x720-5E

So, from what I said previously and some semi-obvious clues, you can work out what is all going on in the above image.  😛

Yada, yada…you can weed through that lot for something that tickles your funny bone.  Generation-al knowledge may apply (be needed).

pokemon-sword-n-shield-funnies_writingbolt-vs-MADdoubleagentPenny-80stoongrownup_ap-2020-1280x720-1

Anyone watching the latest version of Inspector Gadget?…or any of the old episodes on one of those retro kids’ channels?pokemon-sword-n-shield-funnies_writingbolt-vs-ACMEagentIvy-90sCarmenSandiegotoon_ap-2020-1280x720-1

Anyone watching the newest Carmen Sandiego cartoons…who might be familiar with the 90s version?  I know.  The previous two images are a tad lame because I didn’t edit much.  It was more of a therapeutic dialogue exercise, working out some old feelings about shows I spent my lifetime watching.

Also, I noticed one of the Pokémon Sword characters is actually named Ivy (I’m guessing because she looks like a wee ivy-league-ish student?)…so that made me think of ACME agent Ivy.  And theeen…

I recently caught the lovely, perpetually wicked and ever enchanting Kate Blanchett on a recent late night talk/interview show, so as her voice and lovely bespectacled face rolled around my noggin…and I looked over the Pokémon images I had found…these came into being…pokemon-sword-n-shield-funnies_me-vs-hogwartsstudentkateblanchett_ap-2020-1280x720-1

English accent Kate…pokemon-sword-n-shield-funnies_me-vs-hogwartsstudentkateblanchett-heavilybritish_ap-2020-1280x720-2B

Natural voice/accent Kate…

 

20
Apr
20

Tay-dreaming Art in Crisis, Sneak Peak

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So, what does a guy like me do under such quarantine circumstances?  I, luckily, get creative.  And, as I previously posted, one of my other obsessions has been playing one of the latest Pokémon games, like a big kid.  So, putting the two together led to…well, here’s a quick sneak peak of what’s to come.  I’ll likely add more to this post or make another post when I am more prepared to share.  Enjoy.  😀

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blondebucketme-maybe-vs-Portia-cellphonehottie_pokemonswordshield-clip-1280-2

The original image used for female half

Who is the guy in the corner??  I dunno.  I just found these pics in a search.  I think everyone but me who plays these games wants to be a YouTube celebrity; so they put their face on everything and beg for subscribers.  Time Magazine you are not, sir.

greenish-me-type-vs-policeman_pokemonswordshield-clip-1280-14

The original male half

Anyone want to field a guess as to who the mystery blend of women is?…and who/what might be each piece of her costume?

MORE TO COME!  STAY TUNED.

20
Apr
20

2020’s Crisis Is Poetic Justice

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Hindsight is 20/20.

Someone once coined those words. And, with the current focus on toilet paper, the line couldn’t ring more true. Some day we, who survive this crisis, will look back and see just how poetic the year 2020 was. For it was in February of 2020 when the month nearly mirrored the year (02/20) and when we GROUND HOGS saw something terrible in our shadows (for some of us, our Lenten reflections) which sent us MARCH-ing into isolation, only to become the APRIL FOOLS prodded to wear masks and gloves in case we MAY pass a dangerous virus to our neighbors, who, by JUNE (BUG), will be six feet (months) apart from electing a new U.S. President.

And, that’s just the first half of the year.

Let’s see how witty I still am when we get to July.

 

[Oh.  And, according to numerology, this is a 4 year (2 + 0 + 2 + 0 = 4), not to mention a LEAP YEAR, which only happens once every FOUR years…when a lot of crazy planet alignments are happening, bringing planets into better focus than we’ve seen in decades.  And, in the spirit of a four year, look at the likely candidates for U.S. President.  If Donald Trump has intentions of staying in office, he’s out of luck.  His full name–just as I wrote it–has eleven letters….while Joe Biden, who amazingly has taken the lead in the Democratic race, considering his stumbles in every debate I have seen and all the trash that has been slung at him, has eight letters in his name as I just wrote it.  And, in case you’re very poor at math, 2 x 4 = 8.  Coincidence?  Or, cosmic fate?]

08
Apr
20

The Truth Behind COVID-19, According to Writingbolt

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What does COVID-19 really mean? Where did anyone get that name? Well, without looking up more info via some search engine, we here at Writingbolt Studios are about to present a previously unreleased transcript of real events in the meeting room of a British-American mining company, Red Minore, located in China. Video footage (which we cannot presently show you) was captured on Camera 19, hence the name Company Video 19, or COVID-19.

Arnold, a former unit manager reduced to a lowly maintenance position, attempts to clean the office before the upcoming meeting of corporate executives, a general weekly meeting of no major significance. His “friend” Dave, a low-ranking tech-support screwball who failed to earn a bachelor’s degree at chef school, interferes with Arnold’s routine work to propose an early lunch break.

ARNOLD: I can’t come right now. I have to get this done in like…five minutes. Or, the boss is going to blow.

DAVE: I’m giving you two minutes. My stomach is getting hangry.

Dave pulls a soft drink of unknown origins and a strange submarine sandwich from the inside of his puffy jacket.

ARNOLD: Where on earth did you get that horrid food. And, if you had it all this time, you could have eaten that instead of hounding me to go out with you when you’re supposed to be upstairs assisting your team.

DAVE: Oh, lay off Rhimer. This is just an appetizer. Hey, what’s that?

Dave notices a plate of food that has recently been delivered by a catering company hired by the morale committee. He casually crosses the room and sets down his “appetizers.”

ARNOLD: No. Dave? Don’t touch that. Dave!

Dave does not listen. As Arnold rushes to stop Dave from sampling the meaty treats, Dave swings his left arm like an elephant’s trunk and topples his Fiji Punch, sending a tidal wave of red liquid over the now exposed snack tray.

Instantly losing his mind, Arnold flings the sullied snacks into the adjacent waste bin and withdraws the loaded plastic bag. With an iron hand, he grabs Dave’s arm and storms out of the meeting room a minute before the gathering executives arrive.

An innocent-looking bag of garbage sits in the dumpster behind the Wulan (China) office building, exposed to intense heat and humidity, allowing the odd mixture of meaty snacks and whatever comes in a Fiji Punch to rot and craft a foul brew, a toxic mixture that would breathe life into a new, devastating virus stronger than the common flu bug.  A garbage collector, who shall not be named, claimed he found a new species setting up camp in that dumpster.

There is no visual evidence of the biological weapon, other than the impact it continues to have around the world on the human population. But, the culprits behind the disaster’s origins remain captured on video footage which shall be filed away for historical pointlessness, forever labeled COVID-19.

[In the not-so-distant future, Dave Lisker returns to the office building after a forced vacation period.  He discovers all human workers have been replaced with an AI automation system with a voice that, when asked where the other staff members have gone, kindly repeats, “They are dead, Dave.  They are all dead.”  A meek little beauty named Jane Cochanski emerges with a mop to disagree, claiming she is very much alive.  Dave spends the rest of his days pursuing a relationship with the strangely elusive beauty.]

Arnold: Lisker? You are a complete and utter smeghead.

“It’s cold outsiiiide.
‘No kind of atmosphere.
I’m all alooone, more or leeeess.
Let me flyyyy, far away from here.
Fuuuun, fuuuun, fuuuun…in the suuun, suuun, suuun…….”

 

*STAY SAFE AND SMART.  KEEP YOUR FAITH AND SENSE OF HUMOR.




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