Author Archive for

17
Jul
17

Big Brother 19; It’s That Time, Again!

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It’s already begun.  My one slip into the “reality TV zone” where I dare not get swept up in the childish (or, middle-school-ish) gossip and blame games but chance a long look at the interior decorating and elaborate challenges placed before a mixed group of wannabe celebrities who seem to live in a world outside the norm, that pocket of reality where people win lotteries and have strangers appear on their doorsteps with giant envelopes before carrying the “winners” to a secret location.

It’s Big Brother season.  I’ll be referring to the U.S. version.  [There are versions in other countries, as well.  Feel free to ignore me, completely, and/or act as if I am some street performer looking for a handout.  The contestants aren’t much different.]

And, as usual, there are those players who irk me to no end (some of which who will later prove they are worth a second look) and a small handful who stir heartstrings.

NEW FACES

This year, among the latter is a surprisingly appealing body builder.  I am not fond of tattoos, especially women with tattoos.  But, this gal Christmas** has a face that just speaks to me.  She has that certain “fire.”  But, she also scares me a bit when she gets “evil thoughts.”  [So, in a way, she’s Heidi Klum.]  I feel a strong desire to support her no matter what…well, as long as she doesn’t don any horns or make blood pacts with dark forces.

**Yes, that’s her name.  And, the staff has fun with it every chance they can get.

She has already met a grim fate (or so it appears).  [Ya never know with television these days.  It could be a ruse.  And, with the way this particular “game show” pulls stunts every year, ya really never know what’s the truth.]  Some CLOWN got a lil silly with her and broke her foot!  [I say that with a hint of humor because he claims to be a rodeo clown.]  It’s partly her own fault for riding him.  But, I feel her pain.  And, like a true champion–or just someone consumed with the pursuit of a (silly) cash prize–she powers on in the competition.  It’s doubtful she will make it to the end without pity.  But, it would also be a sad shame if she got the boot without failing first.  [And, I don’t mean the cast she has on her bad foot.  What’s with the thin bracelet and fuzzy, pink crutches?]

In short, I will be rooting for her until she reveals something I cannot approve/support.

I’m also keeping an eye on Jessica (who may just be the token pretty face that proves to be nothing more than a “floater” with artificial assets), Alex (who has horribly bleached her lovely dark hair but has an amazing figure and is slowly revealing her gaming skills) and Matt (who just looks like a good, all-around player and spokesman for Just For Men).  Raven is a bit of a tragic curiosity with a ghost-white face and interest in ghost hunting (witch–er, which I do not like).  And, the others are proving to either be brainless pawns or less enduring than they appear (unless that is staged, too).

OLD FACES

As is tradition, an old face resurfaces.  This year, it’s Paul from last season. He’s “ballsy” and more of a loudmouth than a competitor.  But, when he’s not in survival mode (which you’ll know when he gets fired up and chatty), he seems honest and genuine, enough.  [It’s hard to evaluate a guy when he’s scheming in this type of environment.  But, compared to other players, he seems unusually true to his word, even while he “stirs the pot.”]

And, while I grew to like him (surprisingly), I see his flaws and wonder if he will bail on competitions, again.  Last year, he seemed good friends with a smiley, Jesus-like hero named Victor.  Victor was what they call a “competition (monster)” who battled his way to the end. Paul frequently barks “friendship.”  I doubted his promises until he stood up and tried to advise the naive Victor who really seemed like the sort to turn the other cheek when someone punched him.

And, it looked like two buddies would shake hands before letting one take the prize.  Instead, Paul picked Nicole, the “veteran” from the previous season, to be the “unworthy alternative” to him getting the big prize, figuring Nicole was whiny and the very thing the newcomers didn’t care for, a “returning player.”  Instead, he lost, and I think it’s because the “jury” decided all of his strategic moves were worthless if he didn’t support his friend (who ended up getting a nice but smaller prize out of the deal).

How Paul treated Victor makes me question anyone supporting or teaming up with him to the end.  I questioned Nicole making it as far as she did in a second season.  Heck, I question bringing anyone back from a previous season.  Fan favorites?  Seriously, what world do these people occupy?  I remember a few seasons in which players talked about quitting their jobs to chance this game.  Is the show some Fantasy Island which becomes a lifetime career?  And, they all seem to have loving families that go along with the “get the key” gimmick, making audition videos of the experience.  I question the reality of this reality TV.

GOING DOWN

One contestant already bailed from feeling bullied!  I’ve never seen such a thing.  Usually, the target/victim survives until voted out which often happens when the target gets mad and makes a scene.  And, the show didn’t replace the one who left; they just had the military hothead pick new candidates for eviction.  With one guy eliminated the day he entered the house (more on that below), way to cut the summer shorter…at least, until you get the writers together to work out some newfangled strategy.

This show has tried different formats for game play.  And, some work better than others.  Some that worked seem to get voted out and replaced with less favorable variations.

This year, they came up with the notion of “temptations” and eliminating someone the first day as the “curse” for someone accepting the first “temptation.”  Had they NOT recently revealed the “chance to get back in,” I would have thought it very unfair what happened to Cameron.  From that first “eviction,” I thought the show was in trouble.  [Why would you go through the trouble of picking these people and video-taping every little thing just to push the guy out the door on day one?…and replace him with someone who runs a “fashion” business which apparently allots him the time (among other things) to participate in multiple game shows.]

And, crazy at it may seem, the lovely Julie Chen sticks it all out, hosting every year.  If all else fails to satisfy, I can count on her countenance to make me smile.  🙂

[I’ll add more to this post when I can.  Though I hate to admit it, this show stirs thoughts.]

Feel free to contribute your thoughts to this topic.  If you watch the show, who do you think will win the game?  Or, who are you supporting?

27
Jun
17

Dear Beth Behrs, (Part One)

*****

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You lovely, troubled blonde beauty who lights the room with her smile and radiant hair (preferably when it’s cut evenly, not too short and not exposing only one ear).

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Yea, not a good look.  The photo up top is much nicer.  Plus, in this photo, you look a little dazed or scared of the camera flashes.

Had I known we were such a match, I would have written sooner.  [You’re a lil on the short side but all right.]

You see, I had this whole thing planned out about 6 years ago when I first saw you don that crazy pearl necklace on 2 Broke Girls.  I was going to ogle–er, court you for a few years to get to know you. Then I was going to propose.  I mean, I had the flowers all picked out and everything…  Buuut, I guess some other guy beat me to the punch last summer.  Typical me.  Too slow.  Too shy.  And, late, again.

Actually, I’ve been fawning over you since the start of 2 Broke Girls but figured you were either too young or already involved with some hunk.  [I had some other predictions, but those shall remain in the vault for now.]

And, when I found the nerve and common sense to look up your birthday, I found some astrology factors that looked favorable.  [VERY favorable.]  I had planned a birthday surprise.  But, every time your birthday came around, I would forget and slap myself to remember the next year.

So, why am I writing this now?  Today?  Carpe diem.  And I thought…what the heck.  Why not?!  Message in a bottle.

Just recently, I learned about you suffering from panic attacks and anxiety since your teens?  What started that?  And, why did I first read about it now?  Anyway, I thought we are a perfect pair of nervous spirits who could play therapist to each other.  That or we’d sink the ship sooner just because we’d both panic and maybe not get to the meditation time and place soon enough.  [I’m not good at taking time to meditate.  But, I frequently use “active meditation” which is essentially daydreaming to unwind.  It can be quite hazardous to both memory and focusing on the moment at hand, which is often frowned upon by authorities like teachers and bosses.]

My eyebrow raised when I read about this horse therapy thing you’ve started…something about survivors of sexual abuse?  I-I-Is that what gave you the panic attacks?  Cuz that is a really particular group to focus on with horse therapy.  Why not social anxiety or the fear of horses?  Why not social media detox (as you wrote somewhere about the practice of letting your “smart” phone go rather than glue yourself to it)?

[FYI I’ve yet to ride one but loooove horses.  And, tigers/cats, squirrels…]

You don’t have to be funny to be sexy (or lovable).  [I prefer “lovable” to “cute.”  You have a certain mature look that sort of eludes the cute factor.]  Nor do you have to pose in skimpy outfits (which do nothing to respect your beauty and spirit).  Or, do you feel you are being “cute” or funny when you pose for that sort of model photography?  You could wear a set of overalls and no makeup, and I am sure you could still be stunning.  And, even when you’re not stunning, you seem quite capable of being charming.  [Although, some of the scripted dialogue I’ve heard you say isn’t very charming or witty.  But, that’s showbiz.]

It’s hard to be funny consistently.  Being funny requires an audience with a compatible sense of humor.  And, being “on” too long or often is a drain on the emotional and mental batteries.  Plus, withdrawal from the spotlight can be a beeyatch.

I imagine it’s hard to be sexy consistently unless you just have that IT factor, unless you’re someone’s type.  So, when I saw you relate being funny to self-confidence, I worried about your “balance.”  It’s like putting faith in a candle.  What happens when the flame goes out?

What SHOULD give you confidence is that you can take command of a room with just a look, a smile.  You have steadfastness in your astrology, particularly Chinese astrology.  There is where you may find that “exquisite hostess at home” energy you claim or desire to have/showcase.  Ironically, I think it would make you a fine caterer.  [If I knew more, I could tell you more.]

I’d like to talk more about a few things, particularly the anxiety/panic matter.  I appreciate what you’ve written about it as it gives me food for thought.  I would do everything I could to alleviate your woes.  But, I see the boyfriend (or fiance) is giving me that look.  So, I should go.  But, it was nice seeing you, again.

[Call me!  Er, drop a note in my email box.  Wink.]

Beth-Behrs-03

[Gorge-e-ous, Caroline Charming.  Although, the skirt could be longer.  🙂 ]

 

01
Jun
17

Nerd or Geek? What’s the Difference?

*****

I can’t remember what late night show brought this up recently, but it stuck out in my mind, demanding I take a whack at the explanation.

When I was a kid, either word was like a scarlet letter on your social status.  If word got around that you were either a geek or nerd, you had little chance of ever getting the best anything out of life other than a score on some video game no “cool kid” had time to play.  But, nowadays, I am okay with being called both words, on occasion.

Here are my personal definitions:

NERD:  A NERD is someone who is remarkably knowledgeable about a particular subject and capable of organizing that knowledge well so it can be referenced at any time.  So organized are nerds that they tend to get miffed if you disrupt their sense of order.

GEEK:  A GEEK is someone who is greatly exited by and/or interested in a particular subject and likely to drool in response to a mere mention of said subject.  Hence the concept of “geeking out.”  [There is no such thing as “nerding out,” as far as I know.]  You don’t have to be as educated as a nerd to be a geek.  And, geeks don’t usually qualify as neat freaks.

In short, geeks drool with excitement.  Nerds do not.  Nerds are more likely to know more about a subject than a geek.

Now you know.  And, that makes you a superstar.  Or, half the battle is won?  I dunno.

themoreyouknow-ad_jem-ridingonarainbow_ap-1

[FYI:  I am somewhere between a Jem geek and a Jem nerd.  I have my info and other resources on the cartoon in decent order and would be bothered by any disruption.  But, I am not so knowledgeable that I can reference every character or episode.  And, on occasion, I’ve been known to drool.  :)]

 

30
May
17

Happy Birthday, Rachael Stirling!

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Happy birthday, Rachael!

When I told my doctor I had a crush on Diane Rigg, he asked if I knew she had a daughter close to my age. Doctor who? It doesn’t really matter.

Little did I know–until I did some research–that daughter was you.  Astrologically, we’re not a perfect ten. But, we’ve got some good chemistry and, at least, can see eye-to-eye. I might be playing with fire, but I thought it would be best to let you know A-S-P.

[This little note is also riddled with clues about astrology and TV appearances if you couldn’t already see that. Actually, I saw you on Doctor Who playing a blind woman. I was so intrigued by your presence, I wanted to know more. I have watched many an episode of The Avengers (the original British secret agent series) and have seen a movie in which your mother paired with a doctor played by George C. Scott. I also found you attached to a project called Boy Meets Girl with Martin Freeman. And, the dots slowly connected.]

Rachael Sterling, Gemini Fire Snake, and a hot cup of cocoa

[Alas, I shared my feelings too late.  Someone else has taken your hand.  But, I send good wishes all the same.]

16
May
17

The Tao of Writingbolt

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Every now and then, I get a moment of divine inspiration, a little nudge to create something special.  [Some call it “awen.”]  Today, it pushed me to make something like this.

TheTaoofWritingbolt-the5As_martialartist-configuration-square_ap-2J

These are what I’d say are the five points to my being which have formed over time.  A decade or so ago, they may have been different.  I barely knew astrology before I was twenty-eight.  But, I wanted to craft something that centered and represented me.  It forms a sort of tree or Asian calligraphy character.

ART:  Associated with the heart, the core, the earth.  Like a tree, like earth is the base of certain philosophical images, art is at the root (though I’d prefer to place it at the top, reaching for the sky with no limit for potential.  I relate art to therapy (and occasionally dabble in art therapy as a psychology tool).  It’s nursing for the heart, for the soul.  It’s the life force that fuels/inspires most other actions/expressions/output.  It can be connected to martial arts (and yoga), as well.  Though it takes up the least room in the picture, it’s the biggest component.

AEROBICS:  Associated with the wind/breath (though it burns food and woe up like fire).  I didn’t think much of exercise as a kid.  But, as an adult, I see how it fits into the picture.  It used to be the trials of gym class.  Now, it’s a means of relieving stress and subconsciously improving my general well-being.  It’s the physical that balances the mental, emotional and digestive.  And, sometimes it brings that divine inspiration.  Generally, I am a hiker who likes to go “adventuring,” exploring foreign lands of interest, trusting my gut (even though my compass isn’t the best).  I’m not as interested in touring buildings as I am in ruins and relics found in natural setting.  I have equal passions for forests and beaches (but not much love for pollen, bugs or intense heat/sunshine).

ASTROLOGY:  Associated with the mind, a cloud, the sky/stars.  By far, this is no bigger than aerobics/exercise and Ayurveda/nutrition in my life.  But, it has been a key note in my ceaseless pursuit of philosophy and understanding.  It’s a good icebreaker in social/dating situations.  I’m no expert.  But then, we all are continuous students, in a way.  And, strangely, it has benefited me in tasks of memory and creative projects aplenty.

AYURVEDA:  Associated with fire, the combustible (like food), a source of energy and potential problems if not properly attended/balanced.  It’s the most recent point of the figure, something I came across after reading an article in a magazine while returning home on a flight; I later picked up a book on self-therapy which included a good portion about Ayurvedic medicine and nutrition.  And, while I’m quick to reject and slow to accept new philosophies, this one kinda made sense.  It just slipped into place, partly because it did NOT support the common medicine practices of taking pills for your ills.  It was strangely comforting.  A good fire can keep you warm; and the more I read, the more I felt warm inside.

AWEN:  And, at the center of it all, is what may be behind it all, divine inspiration, a gift from above, a complex puzzle box slowly unfolding or coming together to make greater sense.  [Note how two of the hands seem to be giving each other a “fist bump.”  I thought that was a nice, totally coincidental (at first) touch.]

If anyone has any input or questions about the image, feel free to share.  No need to be nervous.  I’d be willing to help you create your own “tao” image, as well, if interested.

And, as I state at the bottom, I didn’t get a clear understanding of the word “tao” from my dictionaries, but it sounded good.  😀  If you can think of a better term for this concept, I’d be glad to hear it.

16
May
17

My Response to “Self-Esteem Issues in Ohio” (Dear Abby)

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[Letter titled “Being Lifelong Target of Ridicule Eats at Self-Esteem.]

“Self-Esteem…in Ohio” is in their 30s and coming to terms with social/dating difficulties stemming from a lifetime of ridicule and, quite likely, manipulation, claiming to be more comfortable putting him/her self down than doing what makes him/her happy.

I’d say he/she is in an emotional rut, passing through a sad storm.  Sometimes we write things in the moment we are most emotional and it passes.  Sometimes the problem/feeling lingers.

Dear Abby suggests professional therapy.  I feel this is too easy to recommend without a sound system of assuring the doctor-patient relationship will work.  In a way, finding a good therapist is like dating except more expensive.  Heck, even online dating sites charge less per month to gamble with them.   So, isn’t a therapist asking more than a hundred bucks an hour for you to repeat your life history, before they remotely understand your problems, compounding the problem?

*****

Well, before I get started, I had a flashback to a time not too long ago when I found and visited the Dear Abby archives/website. I found the digital copy of the letter and a loooooooooooooooong line of responses from other people, reminding me of the old chatroom and message board days. There are many who have the same responses and a handful claiming to be in similar shoes. So, anything I could say wouldn’t be much different. And, I am not sure the “discussion” is any better than comments on YouTube, as they may be hard to read/filter.

On that note, I WILL still offer some thoughts and personal experience. After all, I am not a man of few words, usually. And, if I get carried away, it might be too much for the comment trail space. I might get more attention at the source. Yet, this is just as good, writing out my thoughts, self therapy, if nothing else.

If you can handle it, please take the time to read my “radically reduced” response (which, after two drafts, is still quite long). [I am slowly learning to curb myself and save some information for more appropriate, more fruitful settings. The general public viewing space is not the same as controlled group therapy.]

But, if you reader(s) care to sift through the website comments, go HERE.

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First off, I was surprised I didn’t think to ask it myself. Are you a man or woman suffering from this? I presumed you were a man like me which prompted me to respond. Some of what you said struck such a resounding tone with my own troubles.

Secondly, as I know I can say more than can fit in a few lines, if you read what I have to say and want to discuss these matters (perhaps more privately), my mailbox is open.

I’ll try to group my thoughts to address various topics…and keep the details brief.

LABELS

I don’t like to say I have a condition or disease as this only makes matters worse than if I simply think of my troubles as clouds overhead which can be diminished or replaced with sun, now and then. Better to think of the bad times as foul weather that will pass, I say.

ESTEEM AND/OR ANXIETY

I don’t consider what I suffer from as low self-esteem but, rather, social anxiety, a fear to engage people beyond a certain trust level. It’s not as bad as a gal I know who freaks out if a guy approaches her to be more than a friend. I can mingle with certain people if the “water” is inviting enough. I typically have little to no trouble talking to people who I don’t consider relationship prospects, but I cannot seem to approach any woman I find attractive. And, if I do begin talking with one who then turns out to be more than I can handle (or fear she will find fault with me), it becomes a real dire situation to get out of the mess. So, I tend to run through the scenario beforehand and avoid even a kind greeting or more than “Hi.” [I set myself up to fail before trying.]

I’ve tried various methods of countering my anxieties. One, which has yet to work well though I love the idea, is delivering thoughts on paper. Rather than speaking with the person directly or trying to get an email address/phone number (as some seem to make appear so easy), I would write my thoughts in a note and pass it to the person or get someone to pass it to the person. I never passed notes in school, ironically. But, I’ve done it on the job (hoping to avoid a boss telling me not to socialize on the job by inviting the person I wanted to speak with to find me after work).

You’ve probably heard the bits about loving yourself before you love another and being comfortable alone, too. I don’t know what to think of these philosophies, but they give me a headache.

I was a kid who spend adequate time alone because Mom and Dad were not available or interested in what I liked to do, other than art, and I couldn’t do art all of the time. [That’s a whole other ball of wax, source of childhood trauma.] I could occupy myself and say I was okay. But, as I matured, I needed some social connection. I had heard “no man is an island” and took it to heart. I just wasn’t very good at getting off my island and joining the natives of another. And, no one was going to show me the ropes without sounding suspicious.

We’ve likely both been “okay” on our own long enough. How long do we have to go alone before we connect with someone? Right? And, how do we define loving ourselves? How do we know we pass the test and can move on to the next step, loving someone else? Who verifies our abilities?

TALKING DOWN ABOUT ONESELF

I don’t recall doing this in my youth. What I do recall wasn’t so much me talking about myself as it was conveying what others had said/done about me. I guess it was my way of taking a punch instead of fighting back. I’m not exactly a fighter, but as the saying goes, “corner a cat and get scratched.” [I’ve had my moments when I lashed back at those who went too far.]

However, as I entered my teens, I started to seriously wonder what was wrong with me. I can relate to what you say about not making yourself happy. For the longest time, I have put up with crap, figuring I could do no better. I would not say I have low standards by any stretch, but I have taken chances without making sure the decision was right in my gut. And, usually, when I don’t follow my desires, I run into trouble. Yet, if I only listened to my inner voice, I’d probably be more anti-social than I already am, because, I suspect, some of the voices inside me have been shoved in there by my family and peers. And, why do I want to listen to them?

THERAPY AND SELF-HELP BOOKS/EXPERTS

Whenever someone has no better advice or assistance to offer, I see this often. “Get professional help.” As if it were so simple. If you’re lucky, insurance may cover some or all of it. But, I doubt it. And, from my experience, it was more harm than help, especially when my family did whatever the professionals prescribed without considering its impact on me. As a minor, I was not to be trusted; I might as well have had rabies or be told I was due to be “put down.” In short, my trust in therapy ended when the last pill I was convinced to take nearly ended my life. When professional help goes that far the wrong way, you either get mad or you die obeying strangers.

I’ve encountered many “self-help” books, too, by self-proclaimed life-experts. I would snort at these quite hastily, wondering what makes anyone an expert on life when they are still living and learning as I am. Especially, if that life expert is younger than me. After all, what is the sense of life experience if someone can live it all before another? Just because one tree figures out how to produce apples faster than another does not make it wiser or all-knowing about fruit production. [This logic might also be applied to the medicine field and how pill manufacturers fail to grasp the concept of every body being potentially different; we can’t all be lab rats just to satisfy someone’s curiosity.]

Maybe I am not being fair. Maybe there are still good therapists in this world. But, I have yet to meet one. And, after my horrible experience, I am inclined to reject the idea.

If you DO consider professional help (in other words, advice and/or assistance from someone outside the circle that knows you already), I hope you can do as much research as possible and defer the expense.

I think therapy works when we accept someone’s way of thinking into our own. I’ve read some self-help books that have fairly good ideas. I just have a hard time trusting my soul to a book instead of someone I can see with my own eyes and hold with my hands. [I suppose this could have people questioning my ability to believe in a god, my religion. After all, what is faith in a god other than trusting stories passed down about someone I cannot see or hold?] So, if you tell yourself to have faith in the words of another, it’s likely you’ll adapt and do your best to make that work.

I guess, because I’ve “been there, done that,” it’s hard for me to trust, again.

Suggestions for countering these problems:

1) Well, I already gave one about labeling conditions/difficulties.

2) As for the lack of confidence to engage others or feel better about ourselves, I wish I could find a good therapy group, if I cannot do better at making friends on my own. I’m not likely to seek such a group out, sadly. I have doubts about therapy and professionals but DO think a group is better than one-on-one.

I had brief experience with group therapy and campfire discussions. But, I could feel, rather quickly, a sense of community. When everyone in the group contributes, there is less likelihood of distrust. You slowly let your guard down and accept not being alone with the problem. I had a good time with my senior (high school) retreat when the group was able to divulge personal trials. Suddenly, those who appeared flawless were just as fragile as I, and I wanted to reach out to them, to hug them. [Sadly, the trip did not end as well as it started.]

HOWEVER, be sure you are in the right group and gauge your experience day-by-day. Because, I was placed with one group who had different problems than my own, and it made no sense for me to spill my emotions to people who could barely speak for themselves and/or comprehend my woes.

3) I have repeatedly tried something over my lifetime which doesn’t exactly accomplish much other than shaking an emotional load off my shoulders. Whenever someone made me feel “less than” or hounded me (like a bully), I would concoct a tall tale. [This probably contributed to some calling me a liar at the wrong time, like the “boy who cried wolf.”] It’s sort of like the advice some give about wild animal encounters; you make yourself look big. That’s what I did without attempting to be cooler or dress differently (as many would do). I talked big and fabricated details, hoping to steer away whatever was looming over me like a plague. It doesn’t necessarily make me feel better about myself, but it helps to steer the threats away.

Consider this a last resort strategy. Some days, I’d just want to get home and unwind. And, I’d tell myself this strategy accomplished the bottom line. It got me out of the line of fire. But, if the problem didn’t stop

4) I like how people describe Conan O’Brien as having “self-deprecating humor.” People like him are able to stay modest and have a sense of humor about themselves, so it’s less likely to get or feel hurt. In some foreign films, you might hear “fight fire with fire” or “counter poison with poison.” Even in common medicine, a vaccine is often a re-built virus used to counter another.

So, rather than simply shoot yourself down, have a sense of humor about your shortcomings. Find a way to turn a negative into a joke. So, at least, if you DO find yourself in an awkward situation, you can make light of it. And, try not to let yourself wonder if your date thinks you suffer from anything just because you make jokes or put yourself down. Don’t double the weight already on your mind.

5) Think outside the dating box. If you view a date in any particular way and figure it’s a hopeless case, try designing a different date (like drawing a new map for how to walk through a park or a new menu for your favorite restaurant). [IE Some expect sex on a third date. I don’t care for this “rule.” I must assure myself I don’t have to follow it and set my own rules. And, if my date doesn’t agree, I don’t have to continue dating that person.  Of course, I may be good at designing, but I lack the drive or self-assurance to put my designs into reality/action.  Which is why I see myself as a good interior decorator.  hehe  I design the room but don’t necessarily have to do all the remodeling.]

I’ll take a chance in saying something about my dating history.  I’ve probably gone on a handful of dates, altogether.  My first date was as much a disaster as it was a relief.  I was once accused of standing someone up and ran into an emotional dispute IN PUBLIC (which I dread) as a result of me pursuing the relationship that, apparently, wasn’t to be.

I do better befriending a person and then trying to arrange times we can hang out together casually, instead of trying to follow some schedule every few days, weeks or months.  [And, the people I usually befriend come from my workplace.  I don’t go to “normal” hangouts to meet people because I don’t have a group of friends to join me.]  I’ve “dated” people through emails and chat rooms before meeting them in person.  I can’t say I’ve had much success, but it certainly feels better getting what you can for free or little money than paying some agency of faceless strangers to hopefully find you a match.  My methods are not conventional.  But, I’m not sending disturbing nude images to people just to get a rise out of them, either (like some who deter people from trying anything online).

6) Exercise is good. I agree with those who recommend exercise for improving psychology and the mood. [Posture and what we do with our hands also play a part.]  I didn’t get it until my twenties. In school, I wasn’t exactly lazy, but I didn’t do anything to “work out” other than play video games and the occasional sport practice by my own rules. I never lifted a weight or ran a mile (which proved to be a cause of great distress and embarrassment). But, once I started walking to get groceries, etc., I found myself melting pounds and stress away. I recommend bringing a headset radio/MP3 player to give yourself something to “suck” on and tune out the traffic. But, if you like walking among nature and listening to every little sound, have at it. I tend to dwell on negative thoughts without my music.

7) Diet may be a factor.  Consider what you eat regularly but don’t guilt yourself for enjoying the occasional comfort food.  A few tips in this area:

a) Moderation is a very important word.  If you find yourself eating a whole bag of chips or candy, stop.  Nor do you need to eat a whole head of lettuce in a day to say you’ve had your veggies.  Have a little of every food group or flavor type, and your taste buds will feel fuller sooner.

b) There are self-help books that talk about how what we eat impacts both physical and mental health.  Look into Ayurvedic medicine, the use of herbs and various food groups to address internal issues like nerves.  I’ve heard pumpkin seeds and shrimp are good for countering nerves, but I’ve seen minor results, at best.

c) Know your body type.  Some people are just genetically built to change weight/shape as the seasons shift.  Some, like me, don’t gain weight much because of a hyper metabolism.  Others are designed to be stout.  Once you know your type, accept it.  [I would presume this is a step to that “self love” requirement, but it’s not often someone will address it this way.]

8) If you haven’t already, consider looking into astrology and figuring out who to avoid, who to approach and what you can do to appeal to those you do approach.  You might be surprised by what clicks with another person, finding new connections/commonalities.  I personally find the subject full of possibilities and creatively inspiring.  But, that may just be because of my “sign.” 🙂

9) When all else fails or seems too complicated, don’t forget to take deep breaths and blow the negative thoughts and clutter from your mind.  I’ve had many bouts with panic attacks.  [Another topic for another time.]  Some nights, I’d go to bed worried I’ll forget something important that just crossed my mind.  I need to have faith and tell myself what matters will be there when I wake.

10) Art is often my therapy.  I can craft in many forms.  There is no specific yoga pose or martial art I have to follow.  I just have to pray for creative inspiration and appreciate it when it comes.  There’s a whole study on the use of mandalas and adult coloring books you might investigate.  Or, try what my family call “doodle challenges” in which one person draws a line or shape, and another (or yourself if you really must do this alone) turns that shape or line into something.  It’s sort of like finding shapes in the clouds.  [This is not directly helpful to dating, but it may be good for clearing the distressful clutter from your mind/heart.]

[I’m sure I’ll think of more and reconsider some of my verbiage in good time.  🙂  Again, if interested, I’m willing to compare notes via email and, eventually, other means.]

 

I normally copy this to a special blog page I created as an archive.  But, it doesn’t seem to be working, today, in case anyone wonders why the response isn’t there (or the link here).]

15
May
17

Web of Weird, Costumed “Superheroes” Making Internet Madness

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Where in the USA is this apparent cul-de-sac of costume collectors who buy every version of Spider-Man and Elsa on the rack and make countless online videos? What pocket of Silicon Valley hides these merchants of kiddy porn? It’s a web of weirdness.

I think I figured something out, though. The reason there are so many “Spider-Men” and Elsas in what appears to be a perpetually balmy state (no snow or autumn leaves in sight) is because those characters reside in colder climates. Spider-Man is a New York-born hero. I suspect these costumes are on clearance racks or dirt cheap on the west coast. [Just like NFL team merchandise for a southern team is cheaper way up north than it is in the home state.] Am I right?

And, what is the deal with all of these “surprise egg” videos that feature parents filming their spoiled kids unpacking an entire toy line in a single day? What value does any of this stuff have to these kids when they come to expect a shopping cart load every time Daddy or Mommy decides to dress them up and capture them on their “smartphone” or video camera? Or, are these just the kids of parents who work for toy companies, getting a dumpster full of freebies/samples?

Have I ranted about this, before?

My nephews often enough find themselves glued to these things. And, while I am all for costume parties with good taste, there is something a bit weird and…lazy?…about seeing grown people doing odd things in costume with special effects and props… I have one four-year old nephew who is already displaying a particular interest in older women, thanks to many a Spider-Girl and Elsa.

You like that, ladies? You like extremely younger men ogling you?

I was one, once. But, I only became infatuated once a week or month, if that. I didn’t have access to an endless supply of internet gratification (which, I would say, is not far off from those who obsessively watch porn).

My nephews can get Mommy’s phone-computer just about any time they want and look this stuff up. It’s so easy for them to do. Thanks, wireless convenience.

I suppose these videos might be made over a long period of time and are first coming to my attention. Maybe these people make one a year or one a month. Maybe they save up and work on the plot over a series of meetings between their “day jobs.”

Maybe I am a tad jealous I don’t have those special friends with which I could make similar videos. Then again, why be so juvenile or risk appearing freakish online for no gain other than some invisible “click” currency when I could be applying my talents and interest in costumes to bigger projects…liiike an actual feature film someone might buy a ticket to see?

Seeing my nephews scroll through and watch these repeatedly, I can’t help becoming agitated and wondering if there isn’t some special stretch of road in California where people get together in costume and do nothing but concoct weird plots to play out on the street and in their homes.

I picture an entire suburban L.A. block of homes shaded by palm trees and infested with people dressed as Spider-Man, Spider-Girl and Venom. On the next street, you might find Batman, the Joker and some kids in police uniforms with their Power Wheels vehicles in sight. And, somewhere in the middle, there’s a single apartment building where a few Elsas live, waiting to be summoned to star in one of these videos. [Who’d have thunk the most recent feature princess of sorts would become such a costume craze, almost a fetish.] When they’re not in costume, they’re wearing pajamas and living on bowl after bowl of Captain Crunch cereal. All of their furniture is either inherited or inflatable. The probably bathe in ball pits and brush their teeth with glittery Disney or Nickelodeon toothpaste.

And, breathe.

Okay, ‘got that out of my system. Moving on.




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