10
Dec
18

Early Birthday Present to T. Swift

*****

I cannot guarantee I will be available to do this on her special day (Thursday).  So, I am posting these, today.  Cooled off the presses, these are a few special portraits I composed, similar to my recently posted magazine (subscription) covers.

In recent years, I’ve been trying to make something special for her (every year).  And, this is my latest installment in that pursuit.

Enjoy.  And, Taylor Alison Swift?  A most happy and blessed birthday to you, you gorgeous and talented creature.

[There have been some slight modifications over the process of completing these.  So, you might notice small details that vary.]

 

The above are just two cards I previously made and posted that I am including to feature a photo (for comparison and respect).

lovely-elf-taylorswift-braid-longcurls-strands-highbangs-purpleblouse-signature-tooncastle_ap-CSPP-11501400-21Z-2

taylorswift-presidentofmyheart-poster-chinlengthsandyblondehair-specs-redblouse-pearls-flagheart_ap-CSPP-11501400-3

 

SwiftJustice-detective-tayswift-whitefedora-sunglasses-curlyhair-blackleather-title_ap-CSPP-11501400-2018-1

 

 

 

 

How many ways might I describe her?  Let me count the ways.

13thingsabout-taylorswift-fabwavypony-highbangs-curlstrands-redblouse-rosepetals-text_ap-CSPP-11501400-13

I believe that adds up to 13.  Or, to put it more simply, she is just…

Lovely-taylorswift-fabwavypony-strands-highbangs-redblouse-name-leather_ap-CSPP-11501400-12B

lovely-taylorswift-fabwavypony-strands-highbangs-redblouse-signature-toonmoonprairie_ap-CSPP-11501400-14lovely-taylorswift-fabwavypony-strands-highbangs-redblouse-signature-cartooncitystreet_ap-CSPP-11501400-13rattleandhum-taylorswift-fabpony-highbangs-redblouse-glasses-redlipstick-text-earthsnakeback_ap-CSPP-10001400-7Btaylorswift-fedora-detective-messyredpaintbackdrop-message_ap-CSPP-11501400-12

 

And, if all of this is a bit much for her or anyone viewing this posting, well, just avert your eyes or go find some sunglasses, I guess.  It comes from the heart, my creative heart.

 

 

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06
Dec
18

Belated Birthday Wish/Greeting to Karen Gillan

*****

I suppose this is silly.  Why bother more than a week after the fact?  And, what are the odds it will get where it’s intended to go?  Anywho.  I’m just putting it out there…here…to show I care…just not enough to remember to post it on time!  I am sorry I cannot keep after everyone’s birthday every year.  Yet, for such a special woman, it’s a shame to forget.

A belated Happy Birthday, Karen.  May this next year treat you better than the last.  May you dance fight your way into good times and… and… (find love with yours truly).  Ehem.

May a rainbow be the Tardis to divine inspiration.  May a pond bring you a Jumanji heap of happiness and no scary monsters.  May winter shower upon you a million things better than an Infinity Stone.   [And, may I get a chance to spend more than a day with you, sometime in the near future. :)]

I’m rootin’ for ya. 😉

 

16
Nov
18

Rattle and Hum, a Taylor-Made Gift Idea

*****

I’m getting you ready for the “holiday” otherwise known as Christmas with my own sure-to-be-a-commercial-hit gift idea, Rattle and Hum magazine, a personal creation composed relatively briskly on a whim.  Can’t get enough Taylor Swift?  Well, now you can purchase 12 months of Rattle and Hum and relish in our mixture of fantasy tales, recipes, costume parties, music, tips of all kinds and more.

Check out these cover designs for the 2019 subscription.   [Any repetition you notice is why this was created relatively quickly.]

12-issues-of-RattleandHum-magazine-covers-taylorswift_reduced-ap-CSPP-13801260-3C

2-RattleandHum-magazine-february-romance-caution-cover-taylorswift_ap-CSPP-11501400-14-4

Why Rattle and Hum?  Well, if you must know, it’s a blend of astrology, music and just the general feeling I have about what could be between her and I, if we put our heads together and made “beautiful music.”  🙂

So, who will be our first customer?

[Clever inclusions on the covers.  Right?  Tell me you notice these things.]

16
Nov
18

Stan Lee What?? Died? Not So Excelsior.

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Just a quick note on the passing of who might be one of the biggest sources of inspiration to my childhood and adult life, not as any example of a stellar human being, because, even though I’ve seen videos about the guy and featuring the guy speaking his mind about everything from comic books to diseases you could get as a soldier (for which he had to make some kind of flyers and/or comics in his younger adult days), I didn’t feel as if I knew the real person very well.  I felt as if he was always “on” pitching and promoting something, no matter how many actors played Spider-Man in different “trilogies.”

But, as a creative and hard-working person who spawned so many characters into the Marvel and its previous form’s universe, all of which, as I understand it, is somehow in the possession of the Disney empire?  [But, I could be wrong.]  …He was somewhat rare and special, even if some of his creations were on the creepy side (and thus avoided by me).

Stan?  You will be missed but, not likely, forgotten.  I have no grand speeches or colorful tributes at this time.  In fact, I feel quite flat about your passing.  Death.  It’s inevitable.  People are coming and going like the seasons.  It just becomes more “functional” as I get older to look at it without much emotion, even if emotions erupt uncontrollably as if part of human nature.  I just wish things were different before you had to go.

I will say this…

Hopefully, you get the chance to reconnect with Kirby “up there” and make some cool images in the sky, ya know, with the clouds.  Sky artists.  Just imagine.  Now, that is “excelsior” worthy.

Oh, look.  I found some tears, after all.  I guess…it’s sobbing time.  [A lil Thing poke, there.]

I’ll cherish so many movie cameos and the old comics as long as they last.

mockbutterfingerad_stanleegivesfinger_purple2

This I made when talks of selling to Disney were happening.  And then, I laughed when he made his cameo in Ant Man and the Wasp, claiming he’s paying for his previous decisions from the 60’s (or his 60’s).

antmanandthewasp-quote-andthensome_stanleegivesfinger_purple3

Feel free to share your thoughts on the Man (Stan) and any of his creations you enjoy(ed).

 

07
Nov
18

Wisconsin Needs a Hero

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Wisconsin needs a hero…and not another name or word that ends in -ero.  Does anyone hear a violin or see any fires?

I have family in Wisconsin, USA.  And, as I am visiting and up late last night, aware of all the heated talk of politics (which seems to go nowhere…or I just have no good interest in it, anymore), I flip the channels and catch an image of the voting map around midnight last night.  And, what I saw made me nearly wake the neighborhood with my outburst.

[Of course, if you bother to look at a more current map, it’s shifted a bit, like cloud animals falling apart in the sky.  But, this was ever so apparent last night.  And, it’s too bad I didn’t have a camera or internet access at the time.]

Here.  I’ll draw you a picture.

wisconsinvotingmap-monster-midnight-nov62018-1J

Do you see it?  Please tell me you’re not suffering from poor eyesight or you only see a red mitten with blue and white flecks on it.  And, what the heck are those white triangles at the top, anyway?  Independent pyramids?  I think there’s a nuclear power plant up there somewhere.  Maybe those are like Chernobyl, and no one is alive to vote.

Yeah.  You see it now?  I’d say it’s rather apparent.

Holy fark nards!  THIS is the bad place, Eleanor.  Who needs Midnight, Texas, when you’ve got this Halloween picture?  You shouldn’t need pot brownies or one of Eric Foreman’s clan to see it.  And, yes, Jeremy Bearimy, the dot in the “I” scares the crap out of me!

I think I’ve seen that image somewhere….

wisconsinvotingmap-monster-midnight-nov62018-compared-to-sorcery-2-cover_3J

Oh, yeah.  One of my ol’ favorite mini-series.  Damn, that thing is scary.

So, as I said, Wisconsin needs a hero.  And, I think I know just the guy for the job.

wisconsinvotingmap-monster-midnight-nov62018-compared-to-sorcery-2-cover-callLink4help_4J

SO…

Help?  Anyone got an ocarina I can borrow?  Cuz I wanna catch the first magic tornado outta here and go visit some elf people in the sky.  And, I don’t want some recreational drug to take–er, pretend I’m there.

06
Nov
18

Voting Is a U.S. Right, Not an Obligation!

*****

If you live in the not-so-United States, there’s a lot of hub-bub about VOTING. Oh.  Hey.  Is that today?  Yes, it may be happening right now!  Wait.  Read this.

It goes into all sorts of heated debates about rights which nip and peck at matters like race, gender and religion. It teases about aspirations for taxes, schools, jobs and the big ol’ dinosaur of a “snake-in-the-grass” known as insurance. It starts to sound like a chariot race at some Roman coliseum or an NFL football crowd. It’s like war without most of the bloodshed. I guess…that’s…a good thing?

And, unless you pay no attention to TV or…apparently…any screen receiving “feeds” of some “newsworthy” kind, you are sure to see and/or hear something about the push to vote. It might be worse than the push for pumpkin-spice everything, the obnoxious internet service monopoly commercials and…well, no, none of those is as annoying as the lawyer who can’t stop flashing his face and talking in his annoying voice every half hour because he decided to invest in every branch of life as he knows it, thinking that gives him a right to be a broadcast nag. On that matter, I vote NO.

Now, back to the bigger voting matter(s). Oh wait, we interrupt this blog for a commercial endorsement by some celebrity…yep, I think it’s none other than Mr. Technology Rapper, Common. Okay. Uh-huh. Got it, smooth talker.

So, as I was saying…

What? Wait 8 seconds to bypass this ad for candidate Dingleberry? *sigh* Oookayyy…

Ya see what’s happening here?

Now, if you have the patience and don’t suffer from one of those “attention-deficient disorders,” I have a few things to say. And, I might get winded. But, that’s just part of the misery of being a citizen in “the greatest country in the world.” [Nobody’s perfect here. Okay, Earthlings? If you seriously cannot read all I have to say, you may kindly skip down to the lower portion that begins with “Let me just make this short and bittersweet.”]

Americans?…and all who occupy the country even if you are not “legally settled in” the place. Voting is a citizen’s right. Yet, from all the noise going around, it sounds more like an obligation pending. And, on the sides, you have all the talk about interference and other reasons to be concerned.

This time, the red guys win. Next time, the blue guys win with the adolation of most “celebrities,” those members of some “academy” or “foreign press” association. [It all sounds like secret society talk, like some Luminati or Nazi nod or stroke of the nose. We got ya, boss. Wink.] Nothing good can really be achieved if every day is spent battling Joes and Cobras, or if one “side” paints the town red just for the other to paint it blue when they dominate “seats.” It’s just a waste of time and energy (life).

If recent years haven’t made it abundantly clear, the whole U.S. voting system is a joke and a mess. [Remember the “chad” fiasco from a previous election? That thing that made the cryp-to-spo-rid-i-um scare seem trivial.] But, like other U.S. messes, it goes around and around, and no one really makes an improvement. Is that stability or insanity? [And, if anyone in Russia is laughing at this, take a look in the mirror, once in a while. Are you really any better off? Is any country truly happy with itself? I’d like to know, and I might like to live there.]

And, when the voting is supposedly done, the winners get a mixed bag of quiet time (in which they can do whatever they want) and time in the spotlight when they either get mention for some kind of achievement or pestered for what they did wrong. The latest gladiator to enter this arena has been grilled and then grilled some more for being an all-around fool. Yet, all the noise hasn’t made him even flinch.

Does that mean he’s just that secure in himself or is all the noise just noise and an illusion of unrest? And, if it’s an illusion of unrest, what is going on here? What are “they” protecting at the risk of several minds, not to mention lives?

I begin to question the whole security and essence of my existence. Don’t you? Are we all just cattle being scared into bumping into each other, dropping money we supposedly earn to secure our “status” in this world and our futures, dropping it on the grate that filters into some system we have no control over though we are pressed to vote it into existence year after year? Are we just batteries in some grand machine, handed illusions of better lives until we are broken and replaced? Or, are we truly valued individuals who have a right to live on the same planet and, at least, not assault each other as we find balance with the environment?

I know the concept of everyone living content and having kids as they will is beyond my comprehension of population control. It’s some idyllic fantasy of a science-fiction show about some people and aliens in spandex costumes breaking apart the universe in pursuit of other worlds to occupy and systems of order to upset. [Yeah. Let’s upset some other race. Not ours. Whatever. I guess it’s all learning from experience. Right? Even if it takes an eternity for the light bulb to glow.] I can but choose not to imagine what life would be like if we were no different than deer and lions chasing around in the wilderness, risking the chance of being slain and eaten. But, such is “domesticated” life, conditioned in our minds for such a long time. Right?

And now, back to our voting program……still in progress.

—–

If voting is a gauntlet of fear and anger with a roaring crowd occupying some sort of stadium, arguing over which “side” will rule the land, I really don’t want any part of it. I mean, I am not sure I fit into that sort of medieval mentality, that clash of kingdoms and warlords where you paint your faces to represent a side and then unleash all kinds of confetti-infused mayhem on the land. You’d think the country would have evolved beyond the WW2 days of war bonds and collecting materials for vehicles, rations and weapons. Is this Game of Thrones or Fantasy Island?

If you are pressed to vote and looked down upon for not voting, isn’t that sort of…bullying? Isn’t that as bad as sexism and racism?

Is the “system” so desperate to keep everyone “involved” just to appear as if they care and can work together rather than actually learning to work together?

Has life on this planet become all about the “clicks” and “likes” rather than actually putting our hands together to make some good happen?

Are the “powers that be” so concerned about order crumbling into chaos that their only reassurance is to pressure everyone to partake in this mad scene called a vote?

If we all quarrel and fuss, are our voices reassuring anyone?

Is this like a game of Marco Polo in which being heard confirms we’re still alive and not up to no good?

If a tree in the forest makes a sound, does that mean it’s not plotting to end you?

And, if you must vote with only what you get from ads and debates and those colorful not-so-little flyers passed around until they litter the streets like some 1940s war-era movie disaster, isn’t your vote a bit mis-educated? Misguided? How many candidates make the same promises and then bend differently once in office? Does it really matter who gets in the offices? Does any side really win forever? Does anything good last? Is everyone ever happy?

[Now, I am sure it’s worse in other countries. I know no Americans are getting beheaded, killed for going against the flow and/or voicing opinions that don’t agree with the ruling force. Women aren’t as “repressed” in the U.S….though one could argue the conditioned mindsets of makeup and fashion are a bit like shackles. Is that comforting to know or just a different color of the same crap?]

I cannot honestly say I have any grand knowledge of or trust in any candidate. Sure, I could “research.” But, if all I get is the “resume” of aspirations, am I not still taking a gamble on a person’s character? I cannot be guaranteed one person put in a government job slot will improve anything. And, whether or not my vote does some good cannot be proven. It’s no better than me offering up a prayer unanswered or tossing a coin in a fountain and making a wish. Yet, both of those are not NEARLY as costly to “air time,” taxes and the environment.

[I have voted in previous elections. And, did it make me feel good? Not really. I get that voting, as a right, gives people a chance to decide who gets some sort of job which is supposed to improve the way everyone lives. But, there’s just as much chance my choice will get slammed for some crime he or she did not previously admit and turn out to be something I did not want, at all. I trusted a man’s calm face only to then question is motives and worry about the environment not only threatening job security but the resources that sustain life. If my vote contributes to making my life miserable or ending it sooner than it should be…what the frick am I achieving?!]

When George Washington became the first president of the “United States,” I doubt everyone who could vote voted. People were present and denied the chance and/or right to vote. Some couldn’t make it to wherever it was decided to have their say. Yet, some consensus pushed him up the red-white-and-blue pipe to the top and convinced him to lead the people as he had led some faction through war. And, somehow, this was better than the old taxing ways of the “red coats” and the even older conquering broods that stormed lands, slaying and enslaving natives. Well, it got his face stamped on a few things; that’s for sure. But, is that such a great thing, considering what other places have been stamped with and/or the names they’ve been given? [Boy, I sure enjoyed my weekend at Screw-Your-Soul Lake! I got the chance to climb Mt. Sisyphus and ride the It-Doesn’t-Matter-Horn.]

SEGWAY ALERT! [And, I don’t mean one of those semi-trendy electric scooters.]

And, let’s stop making memorials for every damn wrong humans committed! Aren’t movie remakes enough to let people know they aren’t learning from past mistakes? We’re not making new good; we’re just remodeling the old bad. A statue that represents a racist attrocity isn’t going to stop people from being racist. It’s just as likely to remind people how and/or why to commit one. [What did that guy do? Oh…now that I think of it, maybe I should do that.]

Ever heard of a killer that mimicked a past one? That’s kind of what history does. It’s a sneaky reminder of all the good and bad deeds done in the past, and that filters through our minds like panning for gold. Some will get the virtues while others collect the vices.

Just because there is a Mecca, pope or Buddha doesn’t mean everyone is going to pray to it, him or her and get the benefit. But, at least, those three are hopeful options versus big, glaring reminders of some horror that took place. I’d personally rather walk down a street to find some positive inspiration rather than a reason to feel depressed and/or unreasonable guilt, thank you very much. Yes, many, many people died here. But, you don’t see nearly as many memorials for all the natives trampled and slaughtered under the cover of Thanksgiving! No. Just plenty of casinos and “reservations.” Did we learn anything, class?

And, breathe.

Voting is not something you hand out on the street, not knowing where it has been and where it is going. You don’t smuggle foreigners into voting booths to sway your preference. You should not have to even worry about another country tampering with the ads and/or results. [I won’t name names because that’s like the old school ritual of gossip about “germs.” And, that’s…kinda like bullying. But, thanks a bunch, electronic “conveniences.” Is it so hard to print paper forms or take a vote in person? Why not just have every voter stand in front of a video (or “phone”) camera and voice their choice like the kooks who participate in those “reality TV game shows” who send someone packing every week? Wait. Can that be tampered with, too?] You don’t quibble about ID proof or pester your citizens about anything that they are or do other than being a registered citizen and their choice of candidates. You should not be fed similar mud-slinging stories from all of the candidates and then forced to make a choice with poor education.

If voting is no better than a “Catholic school” permitting some questionable–to say the least–practices or drilling old scripture into your heads that isn’t being respected, it’s as useless as making a complaint to the boss at work who brushes it off for whatever reason and works under the thumb of another guy who works under the thumb of another guy who… Can’t we come up with a better system, already? Or, just do our best to respect the decisions of some person or persons that want to make such decisions so badly so as to keep our heads and liberties, if we still have any.

Let’s not trade dictatorship for democracy or shuffle the cards and pick one of the already disfunctional systems.

And, god or gods help us, let’s not hand over the planet to the alien robots some aspire to replace our humanity, as flawed as it may be. As cool as some might think it is to meet a Transformer, do you really want to be replaced by one or be denied the chance to have real children of your own who go on to have their own children, and so on? Do you really want humankind, your kind, to end its historic tale in a blaze of disaster and failure? Do you think all monkeys want to be known for flinging poo?

I’ve personally heard enough about the origins of democracy to make me give up my fascination with ancient Greece. But, I’d really like such negative and worrisome feelings to just go away so I can wander in daydreams of the old exquisite architecture and happier toga parties…or kimono parties in the Far East, surrounded by cherry trees in full bloom.

Making televised ceremony of some “heir” taking a throne before making baby heirs to ensure the future of one family keeping the old kingdom’s balls rolling isn’t better. It’s like “reality TV” government. And, I really don’t see how probing into the lives of your leaders is allowing anyone to think clearly enough to run any nation. It may be “transparency,” but I don’t want someone watching me poop just to know I am not up to no good. Are the concepts of trust and faith so dead and gone from this world? Are we all so criminal that no one can be trusted with doing GOOD? [And, if you’re booking a flight to Mars just to get away from it all, send me a letter, telling how much better you have it there, provided you don’t repeat these mistakes we humans haven’t learned to correct, yet. Bomb-shelter scare, anyone?]

Ideally, you should have a chance to speak with the candidates and get a feel for what you really like and dislike about the people. After all, this is all “for the people, by the people.” Right? Well, how close is “by the people” if the candidates are just images on a screen and some audio clip endorsing the ad? And, how much do we really get out of debates other than who slammed the opposition best and who stood up for him or her self? Are debates just a wrestling match and test of social stability?

—–

Let me just make this short and bittersweet. [I just like to say that in hopes of preventing myself from foaming at the mouth and exhausting all of my resources, resources like those considered so abundant that they can be wasted on everything “WiFi,” cable-fed and campaign-related when there are people and other animals struggling to live in a world that can’t come to terms with population control and balance with nature. And, maybe, if you DO suffer from a drifting mind, you’ll float down here and get the consensus of my thoughts.]

If voting is not simply a right of United States citizens (and should be a right in other countries, as well), if, instead, it is some sort of obligation like taxes, attending certain schools and obeying certain laws, then it should be an educated decision people make as comfortably as depositing waste in their toilets. Yes, I am saying voting should be as pleasurable as pooping and peeing. And, right now, it’s not even close.

If you made voting available online–as I am sure many are considering even now–that is not the solution! A swipe right or left on some mobile device might be easier than going to a foreign building to fill out a ballot, but it’s as or even more likely to be corrupted and, thus, futile, just because you cater to lazy whims and, again, consider resources like electricity and all of these invisible rays passing through our bodies and everything else on the planet just to transmit “decisions” we should be making face-to-face, with each other, considering such resources so abundant that they can be wasted when so many go without and fall to the wayside.

Let’s really work together to find a “system” that works as well as or better than those supposed globally peaceful “federations” you hear about in some show about “space explorers” who…end up going to war with other worlds and fighting over who is right and wrong, anyway. There has to be a better way! Let’s find it! Not just Americans. Not just celebrity-sales-pitch slaves. Every human on Earth.

Oh, now don’t get any pushy ideas about me as some candidate. I have little to no concrete wisdom about running a house, much less a country or planet. Just noble aspirations and a weakening heart crumbling under so many social pressures and failures. And, I don’t have a clue who I could work with to make things actually better for everyone.

Don’t vote for me. Vote for your city, state and/or country’s security. Vote responsibly or not at all (just like using drugs, including alcohol, pills and all things weed-y). If you cannot meet with the candidates and feel confident in what they could do (because we cannot expect anyone entering a sea of mysterious operators from warring factions to be some kind of Moses parting the Red–Red? Hmm.–Sea), then your vote is dangerous and likely futile.

If no one votes…well, that’s not likely to happen anytime soon. But, if you don’t vote, does it really matter? Someone’s going to step up to make decisions, in pursuit of establishing noble order, domination of territory or just a place in history books. Some folks will follow that person while others will resist. And, if you do vote only to complain later about and/or suffer from the results, did you achieve anything good? And, isn’t that a shame?

I’m Writingbolt, a currently faceless (because I honestly fear for my life, sometimes) identity on a cash cow farm…er, blog site, and I support this statement, even if it fills enough pages to quality for a whatever Times bestseller. If nothing else, I’ve stated my opinion, for what that’s worth. I’m told it’s good to write down one’s thoughts. I hope that’s true. And, I hope I haven’t wasted any precious resources with this output.

06
Nov
18

Look at All of My New Apps!

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Just look at all of them! I’m such a genius…and sure to be rich ever so soon! Patent pending, patent pending…pat-ent PEN-DING! Hands off. But, seriously, check these out. “I made that!”

SODL:   That’s where you go to sell horses…if you’re so rich and capable of owning some. You’ve never heard of putting a soddle on a horse? 😛

SNAKC:   That’s my Kansas City, Missouri-based company that ships snacks via drone so you don’t have to get up off your fat ass to fetch any food.

DRNKC:   And, that’s the partner company that supplies drinks to go with the snacks you’re too lazy to fetch.

CLOK:   That audibly tells you the time of day from whatever city you mention; you know, in case you’re too lazy to use fingers or look at a clock.

ISOR:   That’s an AI doctor you consult when you have a problem with your eyes, especially when you ought to know you’ve been looking at tiny radioactive screens too long.

CABL:   That’s where you go if you need to order twine, rope or wire; ya know, if you decide to hang yourself after too many hours of submitting to “the machine.”

CAKL:   That’s where you go if you need a laugh after tapping into so many upsetting stories because you just can’t stop the “feed-ing.”

ALYEN:   That’s a Japan-based banking app/company for beings from other planets that just happen to be visiting our world in secrecy. Shh!

PAYNT:   That’s not an app for ordering latex semi-gloss. It’s a financial service that helps you pay for things later, rather than now when you’re too busy shopping without actually interacting with anyone face-to-face. Their motto: PAY NEXT TIME.

FLUTR:   That’s an AI dating consultant that helps you decide how you feel about someone who gives you the “butterflies.”

SWIPHT:   That’s a quick pH tester for when you’re concerned about the condition of your drinking and/or swimming/bathing water; ya know, when those responsible for treating water are too preoccupied with modern technology conveniences to care.
Call 1-800-QUE-DUCT AQUEDUCT ROUTER!

[Wait.  That actually became a clickable link thing?  If you click that; you’re just dumb.  I’m leaving it there just to see how dumb people will be…ya know, without actually witnessing it.]

FITE:   That’s an app for reporting a violent scene to the proper authorities; in other words, a fight. Ya know, when restless leg syndrome from too many hours indoors on someone’s butt and/or with your face glued to a radioactive screen drives them mad with rage.

FIEV:   That’s an app for a virtual high-five; ya know, when you’re too anti-social or “introverted” to find someone willing to join hands over your head.

BRANDE:   No; it’s not an internet tavern. That’s a shopping app that helps you find online alternatives to actual brand-name items so you don’t have to be consumed by impulse shopping. You might confuse this will a little Nintendo 3DS game called Animal Crossing: New Leaf, in which you can acquire plenty of useless items over days of gameplay and fill a limited space with them, imagining what they’d really do if you had the real things.

Yay! So many poorly spelled words used as excuses for productive workplaces that benefit humankind and/or the planet! Pass me a coffee mug, Flo. I’m feeling progressive.




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