15
Nov
19

Let the Birthday Tay Parade Begin!

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So, we’ve crossed the one-month point.  There are less than 30 days to Tay Swift’s next big birthday.  [I won’t say a number :P]  And, I have a fair amount of art to share…rather, I’d like to send it directly to her.  But, I don’t know a good channel for that.  So, this is the best I have (since I don’t use InstantNoodleGram or GoTwitYourselfHashheads).

Let’s see…what to start with…  Let’s try these.

 

Tayofhearts-playingcard-sunrise-sunset-fab-red-TaySwift-yinyang-grad_ap-CSPP-2000x3000-3CTayofhearts-playingcard-sunrise-set-fab-red-TaySwift-vs-exotic-blk-yinyang-alien-vs-species_ap-CSPP-1000x1500-4C-2

FUN!  Tay Swift playing cards with a flip-able bit of wit to each side.  Normally, the face cards match top to bottom.  But, these you can rotate to see two sides of the same lovely coin.  Or, in some cases, a more friendly and classy Tay on one side and the more daring and glamorous CMA Tay on the other.  I am not sure why I put the yin-yang symbol in the middle, but note the shift of time from day to night and how that might affect mood.  And, in case you’re wondering about the alien reference, I thought she kinda looked like the sexy alien from the Species movies in that outfit.  So, I thought that was remotely amusing.  🙂

11
Nov
19

Happy Birthday, Karen Gillan (in advance)

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Lately, I don’t know when I’ll be here, at WordPress.  And, I don’t quite trust the scheduling tool since my last issues with it.  So, I am taking up my bow and firing a quick arrow to ensure this thought and artwork gets to the lovely gal’s eyeballs and heart on time.

I noticed she’s got a sequel coming out on the birthday of another special someone in my eyes.  So, I decided to capitalize on that a bit with this small flood of digital pieces.  [I couldn’t narrow down my variations.]

Without further ado…

Happy birthday, Karen!  [Officially Nov. 28, as far as I know.]

Enjoy.

karengillan-birthday-Nov28-back-Dec13-jumanji-sunny-emerging_ap-CSPP-12x18in-poster-10-sample-1karengillan-bday-Nov28-back-Dec13-jumanji-purple-question_ap-CSPP-12x18in-poster-3-sample-2karengillan-birthday-Nov28-back-Dec13-jumanji-cast-emerges_ap-CSPP-12x18in-poster-11-sample-2

24
Oct
19

PS2 The Sims, Ahead of Its Time

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I’m having another one of my nauseating deja vu moments as I indulge myself in some Sims therapy, taking a break from my recent obsessive, stress-injected attempt at online/offline gaming with the grown-up version of Highlights Magazine’s hidden object hunts.

If you feel like reading a short novel and riding my train of thought, enjoy. If your a fellow The Sims fan, all the better. Come on; it will be like reading comments under a YouTube video.

Long ago, in a workplace far away, I met a guy who let me borrow his PS2 and The Sims 2 game. I was quickly enamored with the liberty to design households, not cities or theme parks like the “old” Sims games (which I found a bit tedious and boring, more like work just to watch ants at play). I created a few fun households and slowly figured out how most things worked with the help of certain Cheat Gnome codes. Without the gnome, I was quickly growing frustrated with lack of money, people losing interest in each other and dying from all sorts of unexpected accidents, often fire (because you could only put so much in a house and need to teach people how to use appliances). After failing to complete the “get a life” story mode and earning a few jars in my house, I was ready to look for fun elsewhere. When I returned the game, my coworker said I could keep the memory card, just in case I got my own PS2 and The Sims 2 game. Well, since then, I have misplaced that memory card (because nearly 10 years went by without me acquiring a PS2); but my interest in and memories of that old Sims game sticks with me.

Now, present day, I recently took the plunge and bought myself a PS2 and a Sims game. Well, first, I bought a Sims game for the Wii which kept me busy for a few weeks; it didn’t have all the “bells and whistles of the one I remembered. And, sadly, the Wii graphics could not render bodies smoothly; arms and legs are a bit square and jagged. Still, it’s a fun retreat to an…well, island retreat. And, with a cheat gnome, you can go to town on setting up your own Gilligan’s Island.

As for the PS2, I had some troubles, at first, which delayed my purchase of games. And, while I had hoped to find a copy of The Sims 2 or some even better version, I stumbled upon a copy of The Sims (the first) and couldn’t pass it up…while the salesperson just threw me a look, as if to say, “Really? That old retard? You really want to spend your money on manly sex dolls and transvestite women of color?” I say this because that is sort of what you get in The Sims (the first). The creators were not very skilled with making feminine women…nor giving a decent variety of hair styles and clothes that don’t look like globs of paint…or kid options, in general; though there are some really bizarre dress-up things you can do with the kids which should be available to the adults!

Getting started with The Sims, I was just about as frustrated as I was with The Sims 2; except in the second game, I was able to “woohoo” and marry a number of couples, forming a sort of fantasy harem, with relative ease. And, I definitely had more fun playing dress-up and interior decorator. The first The Sims (not to be confused with the likes of Sim City or the very early flight simulation games) didn’t seem to have a “woohoo” option. Nor did I see the ease of forming relationships. There was no benefit to having a fish tank (except one lousy point for this or that and the fun appearance it has) or most objects which mainly raised the blood pressure of the household fire meter. [In The Sims 2, the fish tank provides fun AND food you can cook, oddly. And, a couch can provide fun items and money. In the first The Sims, you’re lucky if you get a phone call that informs you of some strange cash prize like a Community Chest card in Monopoly.] You really need space and lighting to see into rooms and allow dumb people to move without colliding, so they don’t forget what they are doing and get into trouble. But, this takes money and causes other risks.

So…why bother with The Sims (the first)? Well, once I looked online for cheat codes and discovered, sadly, there was no gnome, I was considering tossing the game…..and then I noticed codes for freebies and a “fish eye” mode. Well, it was better than nothing. And, for the most part, Fish Eye (1st person) mode is fairly fun. You get to see people’s faces…at times, which is fun when you kiss someone or give them back rubs. You can enjoy yourself in a bathtub or shower. You can walk around the houses like you’re playing Duke Nukem. The only downside is not being able to look at the people around you (not just directly in front of you)–for example, when you’re dining with guests–seeing the baby in your arms, etc. There was so much effort to block nudity and the like that certain views were impossible.

Alas, without the ability to quickly fill “motives,” the game seemed a chore…and has become a chore, particularly in “chapter five,” when it seems you are forced to raise two kids. And, that’s one rather funny and strange part. It’s almost like a Greek myth. My newly married wife didn’t even have sex with me to conceive. She just took a very sensual bath, and–poof!–flower petals rain down as a cradle is born nearby. And, we clap before the kid starts wailing and draining every battery until no parent wants to attend him/her, and the game warns you of child services coming to take the child away. I was genuinely tense reading that; I was/am taking virtul child-raising seriously. There’s no option to toss or punt the kid when he becomes intolerable and no cheat code to make them happy. It’s buck up or game over. And, I didn’t want to get through four chapters of this story just to get a grim ending and be denied completion. [Just to add a note, the second kid was born when, shortly after the first sprang from infant into a fully intellectual and talented child, as mysteriously as the way she was born, when the mother (not the strange non-customize-able Mom figure, just to be clear) went to make breakfast. Having read about how Hera birthed Hephaestus, that was all that came to mind. This woman had no sex and was birthing kids from the water and food. Amazing and amusing.

When the first kid was forced into the “life” of my Sims protagonist, I had a powerful flashback or deja vu moment. I had read about this game. I had studied so many aspects. I knew what was limited and what was unique. Didn’t I? Or, am I imagining it? Am I suffering some sort of insanity from too much solitude? When did I read up on this game? When did I write about it before? I knew you were not supposed to keep the wife happy in chapter five; you’re supposed to let her be miserable so you can get two promotions, which require a fair amount of socializing if you pick the Musician career path (which I did because there’s no other Artist path, not even a cook as you could be in the Castaway game). If she is too happy, the kid seems to come with ease…and the kid sure did! I just wanted to make my wife happy.

I…forgot? what I had read…but then remembered. Weird. I remembered and am remembering all that I supposedly read too late. If I had ready internet access to all that is The Sims, I might have caught myself in time. Instead, I am forced to save a single file prematurely just to save me from repeating a thousand steps in a day; and this leaves me with getting out of some jams which cost goals and time…and that takes the fun away.

Now, if you’ve stuck with me this far, you might be saying, “Wait. The title of this post says something about the game being ahead of its time. What did you mean by that?” I’m getting to that. I just get carried away, now and then.

This is another freaky part, aside from all the freakish faces I’ve encountered in the game and being forced to get into a hot tub with some unappealing stranger just to wake from a dream and get screeced at by an equally unappealing mother figure. When I went to design a woman, the first design that appears looks INCREDIBLY close to the beloved Taylor Alison Swift, the sweet-sounding songstress I’ve come to adore. No fooling; check it out for yourself. You just start designing a family and switch Male to Female; and–bam–there she is standing before you. Except, the eyes may be a bit green; there seems to be a Sims standard for starting with green eyes. But, you can fix that. Still, the woman sure looks like Tay…and kinda sounds like Tay. But…..this game was made in 2002. In 2002, Tay was a mere 13, her cosmic number. And, throwing another freaky wrench at you readers, there’s a clothing option that features a T-shirt with the number 13 on it. Why that number of all numbers? I’ve seen plenty of sporty shirts in games with numbers like 5, 7 and 21. And, in a game like this, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a 69. But, 13? Why 13? Was that the number of the day the game was released? How…convenient. Convenient like the instrument choices the game provides, including a RED (Tay favored color) electric guitar and a piano approved by Arianna Grande…er, Arianna Chimeway. Hmm…but the name on the piano was close to Grande…another intriguing detail. So, now you see what I meant by the game being ahead of its time. These bizarre inclusions and my sickening bouts with deja vu have supplied ample time-traveling madness.

How is this possible? How is it a game from 2002 can be a Tay Swift simulator? I didn’t see more than a glimpse of her until 2008. When I start the Castaway game, the first female figure option is usually a dark-haired woman who looks like a cruise director. From what I recall of The Sims 2, that also presented me with a dark-haired woman as a starting step, though both The Sims 2 and Castaway have a “randomizing” feature. The Sims (the first) seems set on presenting you with a Ken doll and Taylor Swift. Bizarre. Almost as bizarre as the feeling I am having even now, that I have written all of this before and am just repeating myself.

Submitted for your approval; a man of considerable age and fair wisdom has a very strange experience, an encounter with a virtual and highly desired lover, for what may be the second time in The Sims Zone………..

24
Oct
19

$1,000 for the Makers of G5 Games

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I recently invited people to join me in playing an online/offline game made by the G5 company. Since then, I’ve sampled two of their very artistic…and very vexing *free* hidden item games. If you are familiar with the games, then you will likely find what I have to say fairly amusing. If you have no idea what I am talking about, feel free to find out for yourself or just carry on with your mindless scrolling.

Dear G5 Games,

I am so pleased with your work. I’d like to offer you $1,000. I know you normally ask for less to buy various starter kits, chests and whatnot. I’m saving time and being generous for all your wonderful artwork and…ehem…time-killing entertainmennnn-tah. But, there’s a catch.

To collect this $1,000, you must find it in a picture, a picture that is very dark and blurry like a bad painting of a barn in one color, a picture set at *Magister* level. And, the money will be disguised as a thin silver thread, like a slender antenna, which blends in with about a million other brush strokes in the blurry painting. It’s a very dark picture; so you’ll likely need a flashlight (which is quite useless and only lasts five seconds) or a torch (which is slightly less useless and just as temporary). Just to make you feel better…or worse…I’m going to surround the item you are seeking with dozens of other things you’d like, including other dollar amounts, money bags, etc. Oh, wouldn’t that be sweet. But, no; they are just there to distract you…like so many pictures we players must search over and over and over and over and over and over again, looking at all the objects we normally cannot find so easily, laid out in front of us, mocking us.

Even if you find the silver thread, which is no bigger than an eyelash and partially hidden behind another section of the picture, you’ll find it difficult to click on. If you get weak, you can just wait a day to recharge and try again; or spend a few talismans to rev yourself back up in a fraction of that time.

But, wait, there’s more.

Before you can even reach this picture, you must make a journey of a two hundred and eighty-five levels, gathering three billion coins and unfathomable “experience.” Are you up to the task? Cuz you sure put us players to it!

[You go from needing 20,000 coins to open one portal in Twin Moons to 84,000?! And, to rack up that kind of coin, you need to get combiners that are only available in portals miles upon miles ahead of what’s accessible, spend countless hours making what is available even more difficult and expensive than it already is…or buy our way there? You folks are cruel and nuts. You might as well just make all the portals accessible at no cost or need to collect a billion bitty things and just sell the game for $20 in a form that can be installed, uninstalled and reinstalled with ease, and call it a year. Because you are proving there is no “fun” in “game.” Like some video games of the past, you have lots of nice graphics but are lacking elsewhere. I’ve been tempted to try some of your other games, but I reaaaaally don’t want to go through more of the same grief. Wait; I am having a psychic moment…the big solution at the end of the game, the answer to the mystery…oh, there our missing elder man is, in the final picture, like reaching the end of Candy Land. Big whoop. By the time I get there, I’ll look back on all the time I invested in the games and cry.]

And, should you succeed, you may come away with any number of other useless items for combining one of your many random collections of images which the characters in the games fake caring about for flimsy reasons…or no reward at all. You might solve the picture and get nothing. That happens. Right? But, do try and try again and again, searching a thousand times if you must to find that lucky thread of payment. Then you can spend it on more useless stuff in your own games…or pay a small portion of a medical bill…maybe something for your eyes.

So, aren’t you glad I sent this payment? Aren’t you glad you made these ridiculously challenging and frustrating games that can crash, show pictures that don’t belong in the games and lose progress gained in a blink? Thank you for making them *free.* Now, I’d like my eyesight, time and heaps of patience back. [But, lovely artwork…the not-the-least-bit-creepy parts (not just about every male character that looks like some secretive killer), anyway.]

Sincerely, your pal,
Writingbolt

PS  The recent Halloween festival in Secret Society has been remotely refreshing, considering it didn’t involve a glitch…though that last glitch was somehow tied to downloading another of your games which does not seem to recharge energy and follow the clock/calendar of the other…as if you just cast that old child aside.

27
Sep
19

Big Brother USA 2019, Results and Post Prediction Discussion

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So, it just wrapped up, in terms of the final confetti shower and all that, two days ago.  And, from what I gathered in the finale, I am guessing one relationship is sure to pop up on another “reality game show” while another might need to work out some press-release info and other agreements…but both involve gorgeous women who knew each other before this game…in some modeling, superficial capacity that can only be explained in the worlds of modeling and showbusiness.  Who knew.  But, I didn’t know the season would end with heated interaction involving racism and sexism…did not see that coming, but, for all I know, that was staged, too, because “the times” needed some of that like a PSA about drugs and sexual abuse.

Now, look back at my previous statements and predictions…er, late predictions.

THE BIG WINNER

I did suspect–didn’t pick–Michie to be the big winner.  I saw it coming; I just didn’t want it to go that way.  Nick got whacked just about after I had hoped he would be the surprise winner…and went on to hook up with Kat in the jury house?  The loveable yet crazy Kat who I adore?

THE RUNNER-UP

I had said floaters never win.  And, that stands.  Technically, Holly was not a floater…and she did not win the big prize.  She got the second best result for being a complete nervous wreck the last day (so much pawing of that fabulous hair).  She left the house with a potentially good relationship (though her mind and emotions were SO tied in knots that her response to questions about the relationship were tepid at best), $50,000 and connections to a number of people, including the faithful partner who won the big prize (under some scrutiny by peers).  If she had to lose, I can’t say she lost that badly.  I’d say she got a very nice consolation sundae and did NOT have to plead for her life as badly as she did, sounding like she was on the chopping block in the Hunger Games.  Holly, I’d hope your life wasn’t on the line; you didn’t have to beg and be told to cut your words short every time…but, then again, you and I are fairly alike.  I know I’d have done the same.

MISS/MR CONGENIALITY (MOST LIKED HOUSEGUEST)

I had pegged Kat for this; so, I guess I got that one wrong.  She definitely has the most and most vibrant personality, compared to a number of people more consumed with vanity and gossip.  Kat somehow rose above that; for a model (like Holly?), that’s impressive.  I just didn’t think she’d pair up with anyone, figuring she was secretly engaged or married, considering how she had a neutral “vibe” toward relationships from what I saw; she didn’t seem close to anyone and laughing the whole way through the game, sort of like the cracked dentist from a few seasons ago.

Instead, the prize went to my other surprise favorite girl, Nicole, who had to relive some painful event I forgot about…and, apparently, she had, as well, til they brought it up at the finale.  I am glad Nicole got something for her trouble; I would have liked her to win for all that she tried/did.  I am still a bit baffled how she fell so short in the final competitions…and sick to my gut at seeing that George-W-Bush-wannabe Michie do so well without competition, without anyone taking him down!  A competition monster like that…who juggled both physical and brain prowess…and no one took a decent shot at him; no one tried to be Odysseus and outsmart the colossus.  How disappointing…but also how typical.  The guy I grow to least like manages to win the thing.  It would seem winning comes with its dark sides.  Maybe it’s better to lose and make a friend than take home the big prize and all the legal obligations that come with it.  Maybe, if Nicole does sustain some friendship(s), she was the big winner, after all.  I’d sure like to try being her friend.  [Contact me, if you can ;), unicorn.]

Final thoughts…

Do they have to bring Dr. Plastic-Face back from the Season 2 grave every year to do the jury chat session?  Did the guy somehow become part of the crew?  No offense…or, rather, this is going to sound offensive just because I don’t like the guy…he looks more plastic every year.  I would not be surprised if he is eventually replaced by a person in a vinyl costume like some Pixar Toy Story character.

Julie Chen (Moonves) looked fabulous, as usual, on finale night.  Just delicious.  But, what’s the point in me saying that?  Meh.

As much as I am tempted to “apply” to be on such a show, I fear I got the bug a little late, in terms of age, and don’t think I can put up with all that is expected of me.  [I don’t think I’d make a good Cliff, SKDonotgiveadamnaboutyourcode.]  Not to mention, I am sure I’d be cursing up a storm at the crew for putting me–and anyone I care enough about to respect and want to befriend in such a creative space–through some horrifying, hazardous and arduous challenges.  I am fairly sure I’d go home with little to nothing and feel cross like those from “Camp BB,” who looked torn between anger and tears on finale night, who looked like people doomed to fry frozen burgers with silly paper hats the rest of their lives, like the floor was about to drop from under them and send them to a fiery demise.

…But, some of it looks fun!  And, they do such a nice job on the set design…and some of the competitions are amusing….especially the comic book one.  [Damn, Holly looked amazing on her cover.]  Yet, not everyone gets a favorable comic book cover…sadly.  I do not want to be the guy who gets the crappy comic after how many weeks with those conditions, while the more popular kids get all the perks.

 

27
Sep
19

Are You a True Friend/Ally or ‘Expectator’?

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ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!

This…is…Spart–  Oh, wait.  Wrong movie.  But, it did deliver the same impact-ful question/vibe.

Are you a spectator or the leading role receiving your fill of expectations?…or both?  Or, maybe you just don’t care, either way; your life is a combination of labor and minimal social entertainment, routine and not worth thinking on this level…you’re basically a pack animal.

I had this thought, this morning.  I have received plenty of expectations from people over my lifetime.  I’ve been told how smart and talented I am and what I should do with my life more often I can count.  But, I can probably count on my two hands how many “angels” I’ve met, people who really stepped up to be a friend…however tragically short that time with me was.

And, that, ladies and gents, and boys and girls of all ages, is what my life really boils down to…my productivity has been lacking due to a lack of support, acceptance and assistance.  If you get by without much of that, then maybe I’m just not like you.  Or, maybe you don’t realize what you have.  I know what I have…I just don’t feel it’s enough to make me live nearly up to the expectations I receive.  I live my life, feeling like a disappointment, no matter how I pitch myself…until I tell myself to turn a blind ear (and eye) to those who pitch expectations and just do my own thing…but doing my own thing hasn’t exactly been fruitful because it’s very lonely.

And, all introvert-ish thinking aside, all my ability to work alone and keep myself busy aside, I need people.  I need friends.  I need to know I am good in and out and acceptable, not just tell myself I am okay as I am.  It’s not superficial or looking in the wrong direction for emotional support.  I think it’s just (my) human nature showing its true colors.  But, lacking any adequate social skills, other than knowing how to speak bluntly (which isn’t always an asset…), and occasionally being a good listener (used to be more often, when I had more heart left to share)…I don’t see the means to bringing more people into my life.  And, what I keep finding isn’t filling the “job slots.”  I feel like I’m sitting in some tiny office, expected to hire a company full of subordinates, and I get no callbacks or resumes worth getting a response.  [If that makes sense; if it doesn’t I really don’t care much, anymore.  The old perfectionist, misunderstood me would be up in arms, right about now, tossing papers and fuming…and then collecting those papers because I was once a “neat freak.”]

It’s even more apparent when I try some online games…or, rather, games you can partake online (or offline) and have some kind of interaction…when there’s hardly any interaction.  Do I have to “add 100 friends” just to get a ding or a whoop?  Am I falling short by trying to pick a half-dozen people who I consider up to the task of being a cooperative player?…versus being one of the countless drones who just click LIKE and REPOST buttons in this blog-verse?  [I think, ever since I started bitching about the LIKE button, I’ve received far fewer LIKES; so add one more detail to the “this sucks” pile…not that I cared about LIKES…just, in a sad case when you get no other response…anyway.  Meh.]  Is it all just processing the day, or do people actually care about each other?  Are there ANY genuine friends in this world?  Or, do I just hear stories, like fiction on the wind?  Am I being teased with fantasy and lil wizards who have dead parents?…plenty of the convenient dead parent stories.

When I was a kid, I was “the quiet one.”  I didn’t have automatic friends show up looking for a pal.  I didn’t know how to interact with kids while staying as safe as all the adults wanted me to be.  I was afraid of getting hurt/hit; so sports and physical games were essentially out of play.  When I finally found a friend…and I am not sure how that even happened, other than two guys (and one rare girl) making some joke on the playground which broke the crucial ice…we had to talk the relationship over with our parents; I had to get an Okay to visit or have them visit me.  I had strict rules about phone calls that fluctuated daily, so I never knew where I stood; nor did the friend know how to deal with my parents.  It was a torture-some game of hit and miss time together.  So, to be fair, I couldn’t expect much.

But, there WAS that one girl…the diamond in the rough…who put up with it all and stuck by me.  And, though I didn’t actively support all of her interests…which made me a bit of a spectator but not an “expectator”…I felt I did a fair amount of being there for her…until peer pressure, I suspect, got the best of us.  Having to say, “We’re just…friends,” when your heart is saying “I love this girl, I think,” is rough.  And, the more I denied my feelings or slighted her, the worse I felt.  And, I think, deep down, she knew and felt something, too; or she was just the most loyal friend I’ve ever known.  And, we were not even in the same interest circles, other than maybe video games.  She didn’t draw.  And, I didn’t do gymnastics or think much of forestry…though I’ve grown to enjoy state parks and exploring nature.   But, we got along so well…and I adored her, madly.  She wasn’t the prettiest girl in the class, but she had more class than most; she earned my respect, and then some.  [I’m pretty sure I’ve written about her before; so I don’t want to repeat myself or go on too long about this.]

As I became a teen and adult, after a shocking sex-education class, I had far less luck with friendships and finding allies.  I had plenty of hecklers, jesters, shapeshifters and all-around-lackluster faces around me who had more fun being pests than anything friendly, especially if I didn’t approve of something they chose to do/say.   I get it…and it wasn’t exactly new to me…people changing and turning on me…but I was hoping ONE in the bunch might be as nice as that girl was.  Nope.

In the “working world,” I’ve grazed paths with pretty faces who just couldn’t find a way to fit and guys who’d rather talk sex, sports and music, of which I know less, I guess, and am not particularly into discussing.  I get a rare “We should do something together” offer which goes nowhere for whatever reason; either I can’t get ‘there’ (to where we are to meet) or the other person never follows through with an “Okay, let’s do this; when is best for both of us?”  I have gone on very few dates which all ended badly.  I’ve been a spectator to a number of sour relationships which usually involved quick sex I did not need to hear about the next day.  It’s not exactly a social-friendly atmosphere or sustaining life experience.  It kinda makes this rabbit want to eat in a different pasture; ya know?

And, breathe.  No mas.  ‘Kay?  That was a rather personal explosion and old would I just visited.

So, looking at yourself, on a regular basis, are you a spectator or avid ally/friend?

20
Sep
19

I’m Sick of These M-F’n Tools Saving Every Species on the Planet!

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That was my weak attempt at sounding like Samuel L. Jackson in that infamous movie about snakes on a plane.

But, let’s talk about a bigger tool.

Common, you’re such a tool. Those AI ads he keeps doing…just rub me the wrong way for some inexplicable reason. And, the latest one really struck a sour note.

One more pitch to save some “endangered” species.

I’ve got nothing against respect for nature and being concerned about all life on the planet. But, if nature decides to eliminate any species, we need not be responsible.

Do you understand what I am saying?

Nature decides what species will live, what new species will join the rest and which will become extinct.

As much as humans like to play god, and as much as Americans like to boast being the best at everything these days, we humans are responsible for the crimes we commit against nature as well as how much we are willing to treat it right. We are capable of maintaining the planet better than any other species. But, we cannot be the overprotective parents, especially when our energy and resources are needed to save ourselves from our own mistakes and from nature’s harsh backlash, probably for the crimes we’ve committed and thus are rightfully doomed to face.

If someone is pitching an AI solution to keep every species known on the planet alive and thriving, isn’t that a bit silly?

For one reason, what happens if, among all of the preserved species, new ones appear in small numbers? Well, we have to protect those, too. And, the next group? Yep. Them, too. Before long, we have a planet swallowed up in lifeforms without adequate resources to sustain them all, sort of like the junk lady in that 1980s Labyrinth movie piling stuff up on Sarah’s back.

[If I may be so blunt, are we just preserving these species because they make pretty photographs for some wildlife magazine you want to print on excess glossy paper which is just going to end up in a landfill when the multitude of shrinking attention spans cast them aside like yesterday’s hot topic?]

Ya know why the big ol’ dinosaurs went extinct? It wasn’t just some massive rock from deep space that created a sinkhole in the planet and devastated the climate. It was a population boom that couldn’t be supported by available resources. And, nature took them out, replacing them with a wide assortment of lifeforms, including us, sort of like an American football team replacing its most expensive player with a few cheaper ones to fill some holes in the defensive line. Now, we are the dinosaurs. And, if we don’t get a grip on our actions……..

Secondly, the planet will be overrun with technological gizmos, not just those keeping watch on every animal like some high-tech spies for some company surely getting something out of this access to what is probably some privacy nature did not intend us humans to take.

Those gizmos will require maintenance and resources we must provide, further depleting our time and resources which could be applied to means capable of preserving all life, not just one rare species at a time, invading the privacy of nesting and other rituals. And, just as your personal computer-phone puts out enough “heat” to fry an egg or your ear, and just as cellphone towers and electrical towers in general put out invisible radiation which impacts all life around them in negative ways, those flying and roving gizmos sent with the supposed intent of protecting all of these other species are sure to put out something that could very well be harmful to something if not everything in its path, because when have humans been known to create anything perfectly clean and safe? Mmm…never? At least, it seems everything we’ve made has had some negative output in the news.

[Can you imagine some drone appearing outside your bathroom, claiming it’s just making sure you’re still alive while you stand there naked about to take a shower? How long before that becomes so annoying that you change your washing habits and/or your whole daily routine, ultimately impacting your life expectancy? And, what if that supervising drone puts out some kind of radiation to scan your home and detect your body heat or some other signature? More invisible rays passing through your body and everything you hold dear, possibly invading your sleep cycle, causing you to wake with the feeling something weird was buzzing in your ear like a mosquito, a species we certainly do not need to preserve unless we are using them as weapons…and that is dangerous talk.]

[What if it doesn’t stop at drones? What if we get tags like all those species humans tag to track their numbers? That, too, is a human habit I find repulsive. Yet, we spend enough energy doing just that while water supplies and other resources continue to become hazards to us all. Would you want to walk around with some colorful plastic tab clipped to your ear or neck or ankle for the rest of your life? Maybe if your the sort who likes tattoos and/or piercings. But, not me.]

We are as responsible for upsetting the environments of all these other species as we are preserving them. But, two wrongs don’t make a right. And, yes, in a way, boxing every life form into some kind of human protection system isn’t right.

I know it’s a bigger and more vague goal to correct the other wrongs we have done to the planet, but that’s the homework we need to get done. Not being the policing, over-protective parents of the planet’s population.

If the world loses its snow leopards, it will go on. But, if the world loses its clean water supply or safe atmosphere, more than the snow leopards will suffer; all species will suffer. If one more human tribe puts its faith in nuclear power as a resource, more than a few snow leopards will suffer for a longer time than any human petition mob can survive to protect those snow leopards.

If you spend your time and resources sending machines to watch over some small cluster of one or two species instead of cleaning up the environment or protecting all life in a particular area you can manage, your effort is futile. If you are in a desert and give all of your water to a lone lizard you think is the only one of its kind, you will die in that desert before you learn that the lizard will be just fine on its own.

And, if no one bothers to read this, if it doesn’t make an impact on improving the way we humans treat the planet, then it was a waste of my time, energy and technology. All of which could have been saved had I not bothered to turn on the TV and see the man, calling himself Common, in one more lame commercial.

 

 




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