*****
And, here are your stinky Mega Man greeting cards, your Wily zingers for anyone who has wronged you, left you cold or anyone who just doesn’t click with you. For rain checks and missed calls…for rejections and disappointments, have a slice of bitter pie.
*****
I won’t be posting as many ecards as previous years. But, here’s one surge of Mega Man valentines. Why mid-1990s cartoon Mega Man? Just because. 😛 It’s the cartoon that just happened to cross my mind in recent weeks. So, get your loving robot freak on.
Starting with a 9-pack of head-scratchers.
And, while I’m on a ROLL…
Why not throw a few more heads into the bowl…
A few crooked heads…
A pinch of wise advice…
A dash of cheer…
Something borrowed, something blue…
Push a few buttons…
And, presto…you have some digital substitute for shared warmth this year.
I’ll throw in a separate post for the NO-valentines, or sour feelings for those who feel the need to drop poop on someone’s doorstep.
*****
Chinese New Year is just around the corner, again. February 5th, to be exact. It’s the year of the Earth (brown or black…or yellow, if the ol’ Voltron cartoons have anything to say about the elements) Pig. [I may not be here to celebrate in the moment. So, once again, I am posting this in advance.]
Like the previous year, this is supposedly a good year for generosity as well as reaping rewards. Though, the past year was better for investments. This new year is a time to party and enjoy the fruits of labor before the next year, the Metal Rat, when a new cycle begins and all sorts of new happenings start popping up to change the way you look at life, I have a feeling. Anyway, this next (moon) year is supposed to be good for just about everyone, including some who fear losing control.
Here are my designs for the Earth Pig year. Notice all of the other animals are present, and the rat is white (metal) in anticipation of it’s time the following year.
And, I’ll throw in one I made by editing a snippet from an Urusei Yatsura cartoon. The moment I saw the pig, I immediately thought of the upcoming new year.
****
So, I am working on a story and need a name for a pet snake. I’ve come up with a short list of names and would like readers’ input. Which do you prefer for a yellow and white/albino python found in a forest setting during summer vacation?
Summer
Sherwood
Stacy
Whitney
Amber
****
Have I mentioned how stupid talk shows (and a certain “celebrity dancing” show) can be…when they interrupt musical performances with injected “audience participation?”
Particularly “late night” talk shows that terribly interview a dwindling number of guests before featuring some musical performance which rarely gets the respect it deserves. And, that’s saying something when you see a very…unique band perform on a show hosted by a guy in a suit and tie, giving the *impression* that the show is “straight-laced.” [In other words, a screeching rock or rap group makes a white guy turn blinding-ly white in less than two minutes, and that’s not a good thing.]
But, what I am particularly bothered by at this moment is how a singer or band performs…with lousy accoustics…only to be blind-sided by a blast of applause and/or cheering, as if the staff of the show are flashing their APPLAUSE signs during the performances. If that’s what is really going on, I cannot get mad or nauseous enough to express my feelings. That is just insanely stupid. That’s like making-a-naked-dash-into-fire or shouting-in-a-library-while-standing-beside-a-sign-that-requests-silence…stupid.
Have you ever seen a musical and heard people applaud WHILE someone is singing? I could understand if it was a Whitney Houston moment and the performer hit some particular high or long note to show off. But, during some un-exceptional portion of the song?…just out-of-the-blue applause? Ridiculous.
If some holiday carolers came to my front door and started singing Silent Night, I don’t want a mob of spectators suddenly applauding during the chorus. I want to hear the performers sing.
I’m looking at you, Jimmy Corden, with your improvisational pot-baked band and excessively “touchy” interaction with guests. I’ve stopped watching most musical performances because of this problem. [Hiii, Hagar. 🙂 You’re still okay in my book.]
I first noticed the problem with Dancing with the Stars, the modern replacement for that 1980s fad, Circus of the Stars (and its “battle” cousins), a poor attempt to put lesser-and-lesser known faces in the spotlight (until it’s no longer the stars but everyday people looking to learn how to dance on the show, like a televised dance class, if they got a fair chance to learn instead of boasting a grueling schedule littered with injuries/sickness and “drama” before leaving way too soon to make any decent lesson stick) from the ABC branch of the Disney Empire/Monopoly, a show that deserves an award for its lighting effects more than any other contribution.
Whether its during a 2-minute (or less) dance or some guest singer’s performance, there will be some oddly timed reaction from the audience. AND, IT’S SO ANNOYING!
So, if you are so fortunate to get some “free” tickets to any of these glitzy, Disney spare-no-expense (Jurassic Park reference) shows…and you see some flashing sign or feel a cattle prod under your seat pushing you to applaud or cheer, check yourself. And, if it’s not even you making the noise…if that’s some recording playing over the performance…feel sorry for yourselves.
And, shame on you, networks, for airing that crap, for contributing to the pollution of performers just trying to get some exposure. You are one Impractical Joker away from pooping in public and getting some of that crap on your own faces. You are worse than a flatulant rubber balloon or an electronic fart simulator.
Now, excuse me while I go wash the filth from my mouth. I feel like a disgusting James Brown without my cape. I feel…not good.
****
Call me old-fashioned–though “my kind” doesn’t exactly like the word “old” to be attached to anything personal–but I have an issue with some articles of modern women’s clothing; namely skirts and some of the dresses you may see on the red carpets of countless, excessive and potentially quite pointless award shows. [But, I’ll save my “beef” with award shows for another post.]
I flip through the TV channels and come across some old…really old…I’m talking black-and-white…show that features women of the “Wild West” in long dresses and skirts that dance around their ankles; and I feel generally good about these women. There’s a reassuring warmth and appealing feminine energy about them. They’re fragile but enduring. And, some can be quite spirited, standing up for themselves when confronted by hostile men. ‘Nothing wrong with that. But, who would wear such outfits these days? And, I don’t mean just for costume parties, photo booths or role-playing games.
But, this isn’t new news. So, why am I bothering to say anything? I’m the Writingbolt. And, I write these pieces when the mood strikes, like lightning. [Insert lightning-infused header image and audio/visual effects.]
In short, too many current skirts (and some dresses) are far too revealing and short; so short that they’ve lost my interest. In fact, I think they’re rather annoying, impractical and hazardous.
[MMMMaybe I have reached “that age.” Even I sound old to myself. Yet, even when I was younger, I never saw a model I liked in such tasteless outfits. And, if she posed in some skimpy lingerie in some lewd or forced way, I didn’t drool. The Rachel H., Rebecca R. and Kathy I. I liked had more class, even when wearing lingerie.]
I don’t know when this trend started. But, I am inclined to guess the mid-1990s, when a certain anime character (I quickly grew to favor) featured an atypical short skirt as part of her civilian uniform instead of a Barbie-doll paper-cut-out dress with some weird design on the front, as seen in other incarnations and on Nancy O’Dell on a regular ET basis. It’s the only thing about the character’s appearance…other than maybe the odd way her nose and lips are drawn, as if she has no lips…that bugs me. If the short skirt was a pair of shorts, I wouldn’t mind.
But, it’s not just in anime, anymore. I see it everywhere, including countless outfits with those poor excuses for thin belts hugging the boobs and leaving some rippling tree skirt to cover the rest. [Are we seriously passing “baby doll” lingerie and shower curtains as everyday wear?] It’s being shoved down our throats. Just as women are striving for more respect and equality, their clothing is not respecting THEM. [And, several (not all) starlets of “Hollywood” and the music industry are possibly the worst…and not just the ones under the age of 30.]
Or, how about the dress that has a horribly cut neckline that plunges beyond the sexy V-shape plunge to the navel like some weird vest? That’s not a peplos (a really old Greek style of dress, for anyone who has no clue). That’s a pep-loss! Do you honestly feel content wearing such clothes…or did someone slap them on you to make a buck and turn you into their NASCAR billboard? Isn’t it about time women, even the “stars,” started making their own clothing choices and giving the photo barrages a bit more variety, instead of looking like deer caught in the headlights with their pants down? [I’m just so tempted to go on a rant about award shows. Grrr!]
On most women–who do NOT have enough breast to call them chickens–this is not the least bit attractive or flattering. It’s like an invitation to assault them. OPEN HERE TO GET LUCKY; BUT GOOD LUCK ENJOYING THE SCRAPPY CONTENTS. Though, I am sure most women who wear these dresses are crying, “Please, think of me and tell me I’m still popular and pretty. I don’t want to be left out of the party…even though other women are dressed differently and, thus, this shouldn’t be a concern. So, WHY, just for one night, am I wearing enough money to fill a Macy’s department store when I’d rather be lounging in something else…just to add one more rather pointless trophy to a shelf few get to see?”
[Or, do those awards work like stats in professional sports? Do you get a better shot at the next “gig” by flashing some gold or finely cut glass? Will your talent be ignored in favor of someone younger who grabbed two awards when you only got nominated? How sad is that?]
If men started wearing vests with nothing underneath, just boxer shorts or even flannel pajamas as day clothes and/or business attire, would they be as respected? Would they have as much sway over women? Maybe those who have something to show off. But, what about all the men with “body image” inhibitions (including yours truly)? It would be a social crisis of e-pectoral proportions! [See what I did there?]
Now, ladies, if you are lucky enough to be wise to the “legging” trend, you might get away with pairing a set with one of these short-short skirts/dresses…you might. The right color and fabric combo could be distracting, comfortable and sufficiently protective. But, if there is ANY chance of exposing undergarments? No go. Return to retailer.
At a time when more and more girls and women are coming up in cases of mistreatment (which is putting it lightly), do we really want to dress them in clothes that not just attract corrupt predators but do nothing to make them feel protected and comfortable?
[Ths may just be my opinion…and I am well aware of how futile such rants may be in an ever-expanding sea of opinionated, anti-social hermits being sucked into some cyber-universe while robots replace them…but if you are comfortable going about your day in a “babydoll” outfit, do you like sexual harrassment for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Are you so starved for compliments that you think such a skimpy outfit will do no harm? If I had a part of my body I wanted to show off, even I know accentuating it would be like playing with fire. Can you imagine a man boasting his “manhood” by wearing something that showcased it as casual or even business attire?]
If you disagree, tell me exactly how such daring garments are respectful to women? Flattering? Protective? Comforting?
So many are trying desperately to be trendsetters or getting caught up in what they think is a trend that there’s this ugly slaughter-house effect stinking up media sources without giving any viewer something realistic to emulate. [Do NOT give me that crap about how you can get close to the red-carpet looks with similar pieces at lower prices. Just shut up.]
[And, I am sure plenty would agree the “photo barrages” need to stop, too. It’s really getting old and not helping anyone other than those who make a buck off the photos.]
Ladies? You deserve better.
[And, no, the everything-elastic trend I am noticing on the rise with those who do not get much camera attention, is not necessarily the solution. It’s like me excusing sweats as casual wear, and I am more than eager to come up with better men’s fashion options…just low on ideas for how to adequately design and make them.]
Are you just going to sit there and accept this? I sure hope not.
Fashion designers and their distributors, you don’t have to go petticoat. But, please, correct this mistake. Bring back longer skirts, knee socks and dresses that only reveal a small portion of the upper body above the bustline. And, put belts where they belong…around the waist (not the “underwire”). Women don’t need to look like choked napkins. I will thank you by adequately servicing those who follow these guidelines. Those who stick with the too-short and choking-belt outfits will eventually lose my respect, especially if they think they can hold any authority over me.
In short, like getting more flies with honey versus vinegar, women, you’ll get more from me by wearing less-revealing attire. I’m giving you a personal pass to protect your goods by draping them in more fabrics and styles than are currently being “pressed” as “amazing.” Comfort and protection don’t have to be lazy, loose and/or unflattering.
And, though it has little to nothing to do with the main topic of this post, my fellow heterosexual (not gay, not LGBT-and-the-rest-of-alphabet, not a-sexual or any other variant who thinks shades of turquoise, seafoam green, pink and orange are the only colors men should be wearing with hideous striped designs) men, I am pounding my brain to come up with some clothing options for us. But, even if I had some ideas, I have no idea how to put them into production. I’d appreciate some help.
