23
Oct
20

EVERYONE! PROTECT YOUR PUMPKINS!

Dear readers and random scrollers of digital feeds,

It has come to my attention that this year’s pumpkin crop is in terrible danger!!…

FROM SQUIRRELS!!!

AIEEEEEEE!!!

Yes, those tiny, cute terrors are running amok, tearing up porch pumpkins, left and right…and center, evennn. No gourd is safe from their ravaging little fangs. Not even fresh seeds seem sufficient to satisfy their ravenous appetites.

If you haven’t noticed, the fuzzy rodents have been extra frisky, this year. I expect a big boost in their population next spring.

Be advised to check the tails of your local squirrel population. If the tails are quite bushy, we may be in for a colder-than-usual or longer-than-usual winter. If the tails are relatively flat, then you can rest easy, knowing the winter will be mild/short.

BUSHY = COLD AND/OR LONG WINTER

LEAN = MILD AND/OR SHORT WINTER

I’ve heard spraying pumpkins with a vinegar solution can deter the squirrels, but I don’t want to turn my pumpkins into German potato salad.

THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU!…R PUMPKINS.
He just wants what is his! Can’t you understand?! He has mouths to feed! And, what you’ve got is never enough!

THE SQUIRRELS THAT ATE CHICAGO!

Coming to a theater near you; part of a double feature with It’s the Sad Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

01
Oct
20

October Birthdays, updated 2020

*****

OCTOBER

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 20)

OCT. 1

actress Brie Larson (most recently known for playing Captain (Ms.) Marvel (Carol Danvers); but I’ll always remember her as the coat-check girl from TV’s Community. 😀  Drop the taco; get in the car.)

Libra Earth Snake

OCT. 4

actress Susan Sarandon (probably best known for her activism and starring role in Thelma and Louise)

Libra Fire Dog

actor Christoph Waltz (from such films as Alita: Battle Angel, Django Unchained and 007: Spectre; funny, intriguing guy who shares my interest in the bass-guitarist, Hagar, from James Corden’s Late Late Show)

Libra Fire Monkey

actor Liev Schrieber

Libra Fire Sheep

actress Alicia Silverstone (most likely known for her leading role in the movie Clueless, not so much as Batgirl in the Batman movie George Clooney still groans about)<divorced as of 2018?…with one son>

Libra Fire Dragon

actress Rachel Leigh Cook (who I know from films like Josie and the Pussycats and She’s All That, among appearances on TV, elsewhere; but she gets around to lesser known roles)

Libra Earth Sheep

actress Dakota Johnson (the lovely daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith who has acted in some naughty films in recent years; still I find her appealing, assuming she is not as dumb as she sometimes appears)

Libra Earth Snake

OCT. 7

Meighan Desmond (Discord/Eris, petite raven-haired troublemaker in SnM attire, from 1995-2001 Hercules/Xena TV shows)

Libra Fire Snake

OCT. 8

actress Bella Thorne (Florida/USA; I don’t know much about this somewhat mysterious beauty, but astrology points to her as a good match for me)

Libra Fire Ox

OCT. 11

singer Daryl Hall (of Hall and Oates)

Libra Fire Dog

actress Joan Cusack (who I know has played many roles…but I only recall her as the principal from School of Rock)

Libra Water Tiger

actress Jane Krakowski (WHO I ADORE TREMENDOUSLY!!!  Ever since I was first smitten with her in Ally McBeal…and all of her seductive, melodious roles, ever since.  Trop and give me 50…emails, Jane.)

Libra Earth Monkey (Not the best match for me…but who can resist her?  Not me.)

actress Michelle Trachtenberg (who I first noticed in Harriet the Spy, then the live-action Inspector Gadget and a stint on Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Libra Wood Ox

OCT. 12

Caroline Ellis (Joy the pink butterfly from The Bugaloos 1970-1972, syndicated in the early 80s, my first TV crush)

Libra Metal Tiger

OCT. 17

actress Felicity Jones (a petite charmer with rabbit-like teeth and an enchanting voice who has explored the cosmos with handicapped geniuses and rebel space pilots, alike)

Libra Water Pig (I am not certain of this one; another source listed her as a rat year)

OCT. 19

actress Samantha Robinson (from “The Love Witch” horror movie)

Libra Metal Sheep

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21)

OCT. 23

actress Emilia Clarke (from Game of Thrones, naturally darker haired yet played the enchanting pale-haired “queen of the dragons;” she was also a rather deceptive cutie in Solo (the Han Solo story); dangerously attractive)

Scorpio Fire Tiger

OCT. 27

actress Inbar Lavi (Israeli/American; see “Impostors” and “Underemployed”)

Scorpio Fire Tiger

OCT. 28

actress Gwendoline Christie (from Game of Thrones, the rather large female swordswoman/bodyguard who worked for a gay king before joining the Stark brood; she also was a lead stormtrooper in two of the final three Star Wars (Skywalker) films)

Scorpio Earth Horse

04
Sep
20

A Touch of Humor, 9-5-2020

*****

A few jokes I picked up recently. [You may have heard one or two, before.]

A doctor walks into the waiting room of a paranoid patient and sighs.

“How bad is it? How long do I have?” asks the patient, already breaking into a cold sweat.

“Ten,” replies the doctor.

“Ten?!” snaps the patient. “Ten what?! Ten years?! Ten months?! Ten hours?!”

Remaining perfectly still, the doctor says, “…Eight.”

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

I had a huge crush on an English teacher, back in my junior year of high school. We became…very close. Years later, I reconnected with and wanted to marry her when she got out of prison. But, apparently, you cannot end a sentence with a proposition.

01
Sep
20

September Birthdays, updated 2020

*****

SEPTEMBER

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

SEPT. 5

actress Katerina Graham (a petite beauty I know as the primary young witch from the CW’s Vampire Diaries)

Virgo Earth Snake

SEPT. 14

Jessica Brown Findlay (aka the charming and lovely Lady Sybil Crawley, Mary’s youngest sister on Downton Abbey)

Virgo Earth Snake

SEPT. 22

MyAnna Buring (the light blonde Swedish stunner who played a maid (Edna) on Downton Abbey and took a strong interest in the former driver Tom after he lost his wife and became a lord of the estate)

Libra Earth Sheep

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 20)

SEPT. 26

Lilly Singh (Canadian/Indian YouTube “star” and late night talk show host)

Leo Fire Dragon (a whole lotta hot air with a splash of vanity)

SEPT. 28

Brigitte Bardot (blonde stunner from before my time; I’m first discovering her talents and adding her to my list of muses)

Libra Wood Dog

28
Aug
20

When You Fail at Being a Friend…

“Butterflies are free to fly;

Why do they fly away,

Leaving me to carry on and wonder why…

Was it you that kept me wandering…through this life?”

Whether or not it is all my fault, I cannot help feeling at least partly to blame for losing yet another contact, another ear, another fellow talent.  I wish she would turn around and not run away.  But, I could do everything in my power and hurt myself for nothing.  And, I am tired of both foolishly upsetting people and being left in the dumps.  I’m tired of trying.

Yesterday, I was ready to get off the grid and just roast in the sun.

Luckily, today, I felt able to type these few words.

It would be nice if someone could take that extra step to reach out beyond the screen.  But, after 20 years of trying to connect–I’ve said it before–I’m tired of trying.  I now anticipate failure and will try not to get my hopes up beyond the bare minimum.  Everyone’s “taken” or “broken”  And, my repair shop is closed.

26
Aug
20

Love and Hate, BB USA Quarantine All-Stars 2020

***

IT’S THAT TIME, AGAIN!  My “reality TV crutch,” much like the one Christmas needed to get through her first season.  Yes, I said her first season.  And, despite the ANNOYING details most of this year’s competitors bring to the round table, I am rooting for Christmas to win the whole sha-bang.

What am I talking about?  Does anyone who uses this blog site really care?  Maybe if you’re based in California and are wherever they rope these people into game shows like they were members of the LOST cast and can’t get off the damn island!

I’m talking about the USA version of Big Brother; which, this year, is an “All-Stars” year…

[If you’re a fan, feel free to read along.  If you’re clueless or just interested, save your eyesight.]

…And, it makes me HATE the show I can’t help LOVING because of the wacky interior decoration and some really creative competitions.   Those are really the main two reasons I even bother with the show.  It’s about seeing what people do to decorate the place, which I wonder if any competitor really appreciates.  [They never say anything beyond some comment about the squirrel population or the vomiting monster that never seems to go away.]

If you haven’t read my older posts about the show, I started watching way back when it first started.  I STOPPED watching when they had an All-Stars competition with some people I already detested.  I came back…I cannot even remember when…when, I think, I saw some competition that really excited me.  Maybe it was the first comic book competition.  And, I have been giving it a “trial second marriage.”  But, it keeps…testing…me!  There is something extra stupid and wrong with the whole setup.

They’ve really beefed up the stupid.  Forget surpassing every previous year by rearranging rooms and featuring new risks.  Forget the old-school systems of alliances and show-mances.  If these wealthy, world-traveling, internet-blasted idiots are going to play those old hands, they are…well, I said it, already.  Let me break my geeky thoughts down for you…

  1.  Many of the competitors are “living the good life” with a life partner, with or without kids.  They supposedly are doing well financially, looking as glamorous as they can be and HAPPY with their relationships.  WHY THE F’ ARE YOU COMING BACK TO THIS COMPETITION WHERE YOU ARE TREATED LIKE SINGLE MORONS TRYING TO FIND A SOCIAL LIFE ON TV??!?!?  [I think even Julie Chen is lost for words; I get the feeling there is much she would like to say to these people, after ALL the years she has hosted this hot mess, yet is forced…and I mean forced…to process every episode to the letter, when the people she must work with cannot even cooperate.  I FEEL BAD FOR YOU, JULIE!  YOU’RE STILL AWESOME…BUT THIS IS GETTING TRULY STUPID.  If you’re in a “good relationship,” if you come into the house wearing a ring, there is little to no social game to play.  There is no show-mance.  If you’re a WHITE guy and half decent at socializing, you might find a bro-mance.  But, I still have my doubts.  Take the social, emotional relationship conflict out of the game, and you’re left with competitions; you’re left with an Olympic games of quarantine stupidity.
  2. HATE THEM!  I’m just going to come right out and peg them for what they are.  Nicole F. (we have to be specific because they were dumb enough to bring TWO Nicoles into an All-Stars competition) has played, lost, won, been on another reality-TV game show, seen much of the world and is dumb enough to come back for another season.  She needs to go home and make sure her life is on track; my prediction is she will NOT win but come back many more times because she is LOST…like Hurley lost.  Ian is another winner and enough nervous energy to make my skin crawl.  He is like me at my social worst combined with my early teen ego, thinking I’m the smartest person in the room.  I would feel 2 percent sympathy for him and spend as much time away from him, Nicole F. and the flamboyant one as one could in this situation.  Cody…I knew from the first MINUTE he was on camera, I couldn’t stand him.  He paired up with a smart cop, and, yes, that cop secured his wimpy dog butt to the finals; he is going to be struggling on his own all “summer.”  And, I am going to have to ignore him, again, if I bother to watch more of this.  I could not STAND Da’Vonne the first time I saw her; I don’t need a second helping.  She supposedly pairs up with the lovely but wacko Bayleigh–another person supposedly happily employed and married–and I can’t help smelling trainwreck.  I am sure “Swaggy C” is shaking his head, already.  I know black folks “have to stick together”–just like guys from Brooklyn or ‘Jersey feel the need to stay “friends–but there is no way two black women with explosive mouths, pairing up on a white-male-dominated game show have AAAAANY chance of surviving this game beyond…let’s predict midway, at best.  ONE of them is going home before the other, if she’s lucky, makes jury.   Which brings me to…
  3. Racism continues to be an underlying layer.  EVERY season I have watched, the game is dominated by beefy, dumb-ass white guys who sound like they’ve been holed up in some witness-protection camp.  They come in, flashing muscles and smiles, wearing the skimpiest workout attire, assert some false sense of friendship and then go huddle up in some room to make alliances, like a pack of stray dogs trying to figure out where they will get their next meal.  But, there is HOPE.  Or, maybe it’s a CBS ploy to instill hope?  The “comp beast” Tyler, who got one of the prettiest girls on the show to marry him somehow…who, as he says, “wrote too many checks” he could not cash…supposedly wants to support David, the fool who was the first to go last year, due to a STUPID “hot, new opening competition” concept.  How STUPID was that.  How awful many felt for the guy.  And then, he “battled back” to get back in…and got thrown right back out, just like the hubby of Nicole F.   [The fact that her last initial is F should say something.  Hmm?]  Now, if Tyler’s word is gold and not a CBS move (which I do not put past these TV empires to try), we may have our first black man to survive a season…UNTIL Tyler crushes him, because, let’s be honest, David has a 2 percent chance of winning…anything.  He not only botched his first challenge(s), he already lost at least one.  [I have not seen every episode of this season; only highlights.]  There is NO WAY he is beating Tyler IF Tyler “carries him” to the final three/two.  And, sadly, unless he gets the chance to win viewers over with some charming display…which I don’t see how when the social game is reduced to the best of the best seeking some kind of redemption?…I don’t see him winning “fan favorite houseguest.”   But, if Tyler is backing David because of the raw deal David got last time, I am slightly awed by Tyler’s motivation.
  4.   Covid-19 masks and the BB Bubble?  The minute the first houseguests entered the “bubble” and then the house, they tossed those vital masks aside like garbage.   How important are the masks to anyone except maybe CBS PR execs and Julie Chen (who I imagine is a bit concerned about getting sick, though SHE does not wear a mask…hmm).  I think the Bubble is pointless.  I think the masks are misused.  And, I think Julie should wear a mask if everyone else must wear one.

I’ll leave it at that, I think.  I just had to vent, again.

BUT FIRST!…ha…a quick note of sympathy to Nicole A., who I thought had a chance…who I ALSO would have helped reach final three, last year, and probably given a better chance to win the big prize.  I think the other finalists were so moved by her fighting spirit (yet sure they could beat her in the end) that they included her in the final three.  CLEARLY an “underdog” with no sufficient “game,” but no worse off than her blonde twin who, I think, just got lucky or was handed a golden ticket, somehow.  I, honestly, do not know how she won with the standards against her and no sign of her establishing anything good except with the humble Jesus she now calls a fiancé…as she brushes off talk of wedding plans, saying something about him being in charge…SHE DOESN’T MAKE DECISIONS!!  [Ehem.  Sorry, Nicole A.  I was rooting for ya.  But, you, like me, need a good friend in your corner.  Sadly, you didn’t have enough to compete with the “rule of dumb.”  Despite moments when you…well, got a lil whiney and may have talked a bit too much…I think we would have been good pals.  And, being my pal would push me to fight/compete for you; you’d get my respect to beat me in the finals, not get brushed aside when dollar signs flashed in my face.  As Paul seemed to pass off as truth, friendship means more to me than the prize money.  The odds are against you in such a gamble.  But, lasting friendship is sweeter than cold cash with strings.]

So, to wrap it all up…

I am rooting for Christmas to win the big prize, but my bets are too often lost; so the odds are against her, most likely.  [I normally find myself drawn to the pretty faces, like a damn fool, and see them fall, one by one, to the alpha males…unless they happen to be in a stupid alliance and “float” to jury status (or establish that infamous “showmance”…WHICH WILL NOT HAPPEN IN THIS CASE!…unless “happy marriages” be damned to fail…and, gee, that’s not happening….right).

Tyler stands the best chance of winning, or, at least, being up against Ian in the finals…unless someone gets smart (ha) and bumps Tyler out AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  Tyler’s the lucky monkey paw that can’t seem to lose when it counts.  [He only loses when the jury turns against him…and how does THAT happen?  Like it did to Paul, Mr. Friendship who went from nagging wimp to strategic competitor.]  Ian is the biggest brain in the house, and I feel like he’s Marty McFly in disguise, just waiting to take off in a flying time-traveling car with his girlfriend, who might be the daughter of his mother who might have slept with him in another place and time.

Also, in current viewing events, Kaysar went from being a guy that gave me an unsettling feeling when he first appeared/played to the guy with the best charisma in this All-Star season.  His comment(s) to Janelle when she was evicted, his determination to make the alliance pay…that was inspiring.  He says he wanted to be an inspiration and that the money wasn’t as important.  Well…that’s nice.  And, I think Julie has a lil crush on him.  And, he has a tiny crush on her (as do I).  But, he blew himself out of the house with a very desperate but foolish last move.  And then he freaked out when he thought Julie said he was voted back into the house.  So, you did NOT want another chance to talk with any of those people you wanted to inspire or win the money?  You had enough time in the house to do all that you came to do?  [I don’t think so, Kaysar.]  Had I met him in the house this year, I would have made myself an honest partner in a two-man alliance, maybe let Christmas and David into that pack…but, each of them has their hang-ups.  Yet, Christmas has had the best luck, so far!  There is something wacky going on with her.

And, despite how his restless syndrome drives me completely batty, Ian has the funniest clip of the season, thus far, when he’s resting with Christmas on the hammock.  She says she is cooking (from the intense sunshine she is allowing to pour upon her when she could have sat any number of places in that field/backyard)…and Ian replies, “What are you making?”  He was trying to play stupid, he says.  But, it just struck my funny bone.

If you are a fellow nut for watching, who do you foresee winning this silly “anniversary” competition?

18
Aug
20

My Response to Impressive Anonymous -Ask Carolyn Hax-

Article titled: I can’t stop chasing ‘impressive’ men, Ask Carolyn Hax, 8-16-2020

*****
You can find my response to this and other letters on the designated “Responses” page. But, while you’re here, have a read.

This Anonymous, who I shall refer to as Impressive Anonymous, is a woman in her late 30s who has dated a string of “impressive” men, usually younger, attractive and financially successful guys who indulge her to a point before declaring they are unfit to continue the relationships.

Carolyn suggests therapy, re-defining “successful” and “impressive” to find alternatives and simply not looking so intensely to open oneself to more self-satisfying companionship in other areas of interest.

———-

Impressive Anonymous, I am quickly intrigued and mildly attracted to your case, though I find the thought of “successful, handsome men” somewhat repulsive as it stimulates visions of some bad reality TV show about “hooking up” in a hurry and “finding love” when marriage is the last thing the contestants seem able to achieve. [Why? I wager public intimacy is a big handicap. There is a reason privacy is important. How many of those magical proposal moments actually happen in the view of thousands or millions of strangers? Not many, I presume.]

Now, first off, you must be worth SOMETHING to these handsome, successful men if you manage to achieve a temporary relationship status with them. So, perhaps, you are exceptionally attractive or successful in some way you fail to state. What DO you have to offer these impressive, successful, handsome men? I am eager to know.

If you have any legitimate reason to lack self-esteem, can you name this/these factor(s)? And, is there any chance some doubt you refuse to let go causes your relationships to fail? [That might be the area where Carolyn felt therapy could help.] Is there some way you relentlessly shoot yourself in the foot that might turn someone off? Maybe they get tired of you saying “sorry” for every little thing because you’re just so gosh darn apologetic?

If these impressive, successful, handsome men keep towing you along for…what exact length of time, here?…just to cut you loose at a similar moment, giving you a bad case of deja vu, is there any chance you might be “arm candy?” Are you the beautiful former model type who escorts these impressive, successful, handsome men to various galas, for business and/or pleasure, and serves as a respected companion but never receives the emotional connection you desire?

[And, dare I ask, is there “intimacy” involved in these relationships? Are you having sex but not “making love” in the most ideal sense of the experience? I just suspect there is a lack of emotional sustenance to feed your spiritual contentment while you seem consumed with the pursuit of good looks and financial greatness.]

But, wait. You say “having to end things after they tell me they aren’t in the right place to be in a relationship.” YOU end things? YOU end these relationships when the impressive, successful, handsome men finally get the marital-future-negating response through your head? Are you truly in the driver seat with this? Or, are you left to assume you are making the decision after these men have their way with you?

To be quite honest, you don’t have to date an impressive, successful or even remotely handsome guy to encounter this situation. You can date a completely irresponsible, financially strapped slob and arrive at the same disappointing destination. If you let any man have you for breakfast and then cast you aside when he’s full, maybe it’s time you stop feeding THEM.

You might think this is some twisted, distressful withdrawal tactic that won’t do your goal of marriage (or, at least, an enduring, dreamy relationship full of emotional connection and reliability) any good. Proceeding through the stages of the relationship without giving the man what he calls for (like good ol’ King Cole called for his pipe, bowl, etc.) on command might be a benefit and self-preservation method worth trying. Some guys–I am not sure if they are necessarily impressive, successful and/or handsome–are turned on by the old “playing hard to get.” Others, even myself at some point, will grow tired of any form of denial and decide to end the relationship.

But, which is better? Giving everything you have to offer to every man you fall for just to get left in a lurch? Or, establishing a balanced give-and-take and withholding certain intimacies until you are sure the relationship is on course with your desires? [Again, I suspect part of your failure comes from/with giving more of yourself than the impressive, successful, handsome man offers in return…which you then somehow turn into a reason to doubt yourself.

This has me thinking of the pretty model or young actress who gets in a steamy relationship with some producer, agent or manager in hopes of advancing her own career, only to later find herself in an emotional and literal gutter and on the verge of some very deadly habit.]

You must either be naïve or very durable to engage so many relationships the same way and never tire of the steps. I would think, after three or four of these impressive, successful, handsome failures, that I’d get a clue and change my course of action. If not, exactly how emotionally invested are/were you? I could not maintain such a string of relationships without being somewhat emotionally distant and, perhaps, self-serving. Could you be leaving out some information about what YOU take from the relationships which might contribute to these impressive, successful, handsome men realizing you’re more of a leech than a partner?

You also use the words “whether it’s because they don’t want me or because they falsely feed my self-esteem” as reason for being attracted to these impressive, successful, handsome men.

I, myself, have a mild attraction to women who don’t seem immediately interested in me. It might be a Sagittarius aspect, the thrill of the hunt, though I don’t consider myself much of a hunter…certainly not an impressive or successful one. I’ll leave the handsome part to your opinion. I knew a few girls in high school who were somewhat “snooty” and/or “out of my league,” yet I saw them as potential partners worth hunting, hoping prolonged effort would win them over (if peer pressure would just leave us alone and stop the gossip trail). I was a fool for pursuing some. Others proved they had more dimensions to them than what they wore on their sleeves; and this would surprise most in the class if they took the time to get to know these people. But, ultimately, none of these prospects wound up with me. Who knows where they are now. [I will not stalk them on Fbook.]

This steers me toward the notion that you are, indeed, a former model or someone who makes superficial/financial use of her own good looks, in some way, someone who maybe hosts a company event at some hotel or stands by expensive cars her boss wants to sell. That, or you have that complex that turns “hard to get” into “I’ll do whatever it takes and take what I can get” which no man, successful or not, can eventually resist. So, it’s not YOU the men are really taking with them, it’s your low self-esteem-fueled body they are using like a to-go cup from a coffee shop. Who wouldn’t turn down a freebie like you?

Are you pushing these impressive, successful, handsome men to date you until they say yes? Or, do you wait in some baited spot for them to pop the question and then let flimsy compliments and casual requests steer your every move, allowing yourself to imagine this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship?

Going back to the start of your letter–at least, how it is printed in the newspaper–there is a glaring typo where you mention something about not being attracted to those interested in…you? You are not interested in pursuing relationships with men who approach YOU? Is that what you are saying? So, you, in some way, see yourself as the huntress and feel the need to make the first move?…that’s…actually…quite attractive, to me. Refreshing. Yet, if you are anything like those girls I felt slighted by in high school, I get the feeling I’d see you scanning the “room” for impressive, successful, handsome men; and you’d completely overlook me (or, at most, give one of those icy glares and shake your head).

[‘Low self-esteem on my part? Eh. Maybe. Or, I just have more realistic expectations while seeing both the positive and negative possibilities. Expect the worst but hope for the best. I’d hope you would be the type I’d find attractive and break your pattern of lousy relationships. But, it’s just as if not more likely we would not connect; so I must be prepared to move on and look the other way.]

You say one particular relationship…when you were how young?…traumatized you in some way, set you on this course of repeating mistakes? You say this guy was “spectacular” and “loved you” but was “completely emotionally unavailable.” Any half-witted therapist would likely process that information as you being blind to the truth. How can any guy be a spectacular lover without emotional…oh…oh. Wait. Was this a case of the handsome guy who is good for sex but nothing else? Were you “on call” with him? If he was completely emotionally unavailable, I doubt you two were even good friends. [I suddenly picture Eva Longoria pursuing the gardener in Desperate Housewives; she seems like the sort to chase a younger, handsome guy in some hope of acquiring “eternal youth.”]

Any person I’ve befriended, friendship being an important part of establishing an enduring relationship, had to be, at least, somewhat emotionally responsive and sensitive to my feelings and needs. The playful, aloof sort who never show any clear signs they are sympathetic don’t get far with me, even if I am completely smitten with their charms. After all, I am not one who is able to deny my desires for emotional connection for long. I tend to be more emotional than the conventional man, which seems to turn off my own family and most if not all of my coworkers who lack empathy. Alas, good friendships have been hard to find, regardless of my apprehension toward failure. So, there’s not even a root upon which to build a relationship. [But, I keep trying, in small, often foolish ways.]

So many questions. So many possible answers.

In short–ha, after my not-too-impressive long string of thoughts which is probably longer than your average relationship–your letter to Carolyn seems to be more of an emotional outburst than an organized assessment of the whole picture. You’ve merely voiced frustration with a pattern of impressive, successful, handsome men, which says very little about you and the relationships, only suggesting possible circumstances and reasoning. My assessment of you being put out of these relationships seems to lean toward the men being full-on with their pursuit of the “success” you so frequently long for and, thus, unable to jump into any commitment which would hinder that advancement. I imagine some celebrities find themselves in similar hardships, unable to marry or even date “outside the business,” often swept up in a relationship with a co-star, whether or not that lasts. That would be the least emotionally-involved explanation. Otherwise, there is more going on here than meets the page.

———

Phew! And, breathe.

It may be foolish for me to even suggest, but, if you find it within your adventuress (intentionally replacing “adventurous”) self to read this response and investigate this witty, intellectual, creative soul, without much success to laud upon and a few years ahead of you, rather than behind, drop a letter in my mailbox. Would you? I am, at least, curious enough to indulge conversation and get a chance to better understand you. Let’s start there. Hmm?

 

18
Aug
20

Back to School in Crisis Mode

****

So, it’s back to school for all you young-er folks still hoping to score a diploma, someday. Surely, current circumstances won’t contribute to much fun or fond memories. And, I doubt you’ll be looking forward to picture day, this year. So, I will save you the trouble. Gather together, now. A little closer. Awe. I know you’re supposed to “social distance” yourselves, but cooperate with me. Will ya? That’s it. Now, say “Cheese.”

[SNAP!]

theclassof2020-schoolintheyearofcovid19-humor_UY-ep5_ap-CSPP-1100x800-1theclassof2020-schoolintheyearofcovid19-humor_UY-ep5_ap-CSPP-1100x800-3theclassof2020-schoolintheyearofcovid19-humor_UY-ep5_ap-CSPP-1100x800-4theclassof2020-schoolintheyearofcovid19-humor_UY-ep5_ap-CSPP-1100x800-5

Priceless.

 

18
Aug
20

Taco Belle…hehe

****

So, I was in a creative mood and dabbling with a neon-light effect in my latest digital art program when I had the notion to make a neon sign with my own hand pose turned into a linear design.  A crappy built-in-camera photo seemed to show my hand with a considerably longer middle finger; it turns out my index finger was slightly bent forward.  In my effort to convey a message of equality in partnerships, I made some modifications to even out the upright appendages.  Part of me thinks I should go back to start and make both fingers taller instead of shorter, considering the middle finger was accurately depicted.  But, this is what I have created, thus far.  And, from the hand came a curious rabbit concept…which led to me thinking of Taco Bell, for some reason…which led to me thinking about Disney’s Belle and then a recent Nissan car commercial, starring Brie Larson.   I’m rather pleased with the inspiration.

11-eleven-by-writingbolt_even-hand-sign-title-image_ap-CSPP-1100sq-14Cneon-purple-even-hand-rabbitface-lawandorder-specialvictimsunit-TVspoof-sign_ap-CSPP-1100sq-42NPneon-Xtra-purple-even-hand-rabbit-spanish-IwantaBelletaco-TacoBellspoof-sign_ap-CSPP-1100x1200-33NPneon-red-even-hand-rabbit-spanish-IwantaBelletaco-TacoBellspoof-sign_ap-CSPP-1100x1200-46NR

18
Aug
20

E+Leaven…Eleven…E-Leaven

*****

A modest bombardment of Beyoncé “Black Is King” commercials and a sufficient amount of LGBT news has inspired me to write a bit of poetry…or maybe a rap of sorts set to music like that cowboy song from Kid Rock.

11-threeways-by-writingbolt_hand-sign-title-image_ap-CSPP-1100sq-8

If Beyoncé is right about black as King,
If LGBT is just glitter and Queen,
Then I’m Jack of them all, and I’ll TRUMP your thing.

 

I’ll play it straight as an A and flush my P.
No royal will ever lay a crown on me.
I may be a rook, but I’m nobody’s pawn.
My work will make check, mate, when my Hearts are gone.

 

Don’t be a knave; don’t drop a deuce in my cap.
I’m too Old to play Maid with that Go Fish crap.
Say good knight to my wit and fold on my lap
When my magic hands put you down for a….. SHH! (nap)

EplusLEAVEN-by-writingbolt_neon-Xtra-purple-hand-sign-title-image_ap-CSPP-1100sq-40NPG

[2nd alternate version, without current-event bits]

Ante up kids, this pen has come out to play.
Listen to my trick beat and read what I say.
If I call too fast, you just tell me. Okay?

 

I’ll draw it straight as an A and flush my P.
No royal will ever lay a crown on me.
I may be a rook, but I’m nobody’s pawn.
My work will make check, mate, when my Hearts are gone.

 

Don’t be a knave; don’t drop a deuce in my cap.
I’m too Old to be Maid with that Go Fish crap.
Say good knight to my wit and fold on my lap
When my magic hands put you down for a….. SHH! (nap)

 

[Enjoy decoding that. 🙂 ]

11-eleven-by-writingbolt_neon-purple-even-hand-cosmic-lightbulb-sign_ap-CSPP-1400x2000-15NP




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