Posts Tagged ‘reviews

14
Aug
19

Award Shows Are Bogus ver. 081419

***

I’ve been fairly certain for a while. But, now, I am convinced; award shows are complete crap, utter rubbish, excessively expensive lies designed to look glamorous at the expense of souls.

All participants…all of those members of the “foreign press”…are either naïve or devious scum. Now, some of that naïve scum could redeem itself; there’s still hope. But, those who run the machines are surely black as sin or the thickest roots in an underground railroad to decide, like some Hunger Games contest, which celebrities and “little people” (the faceless crew members who outnumber the big names and slave over the projects of those who call themselves producers) get food and care for the year and who gets to fight over the scraps and eat shit. The lucky ones get their names attached to the next box-office big ticket while the bottom of the food chain gets to show of their bodies and talk stupid in the films that come out at the end of summer, when “kids” go back to school and no one gives a flying fook what they watch.

Now, breathe. And, let me shed a little light on the shape of this crap…or, rather, what supports my stomach-turning, fury-stoking feelings.

Every year, there’s that “best picture” film that takes one big award and another…and another…and gets so much buzz from all those cracked camera-toting tabloid freak shows who put every famous and not-so-famous face on the spot with stupid questions, testing them to see if they crack and say anything different from their last interview, anything negative about the people they recently knew as part of the crew. Everybody is “amazing.” Every experience is something good for the resume, even if the person secretly loathed or struggled through it. Every director is uniquely talented. Every interview is to make sure the next job goes smoothly and to collect a check; so don’t expect anyone to answer openly and honestly, even if you’re straight-shooting, expected-to-cuss Samuel L. Jackson.

So, why do we even do interviews?! It’s not for the fans. It’s for promotion…more and more promotion. An interview is a talking movie poster which can’t say anything about what happens in the movie, due to contractual threats that pretty much shackle all who partake in making the expensive torture package that actors refuse to watch because they struggled through it; they didn’t enjoy it. An interview is just a painful showcase of faces who habitually look down when they feel the urge to lie, to hold in the vomit and glaze over what they’d like to say. Hey! Look who’s in the movie! And, they’re talking without reading a script! How amazing…like watching animals behind glass in a zoo.

If you really enjoyed making something, wouldn’t you want to look at it, again? Or, do you go crazy because you find a mistake and realize you can’t correct it? Your hard work is now someone else’s baby, and you have no control. So, all your effort amounts to what someone makes of it. That’s rather cruel punishment in its own way and not respectful to the creative soul.

And, I have sampled a number of these “amazing” films. Not one has earned 5 out of 5 stars with me; they’re all lucky if they get a 3. I saw The English Patient, Schindler’s List, The Hurt Locker and, just recently, The Shape of Water. Oh, there was SO much buzz about The Shape of Water, not too long ago. And, I remember the high praise the rare FEMALE director got for The Hurt Locker. Of all the films I just mentioned, I guess The Hurt Locker was the best…but that’s not saying much. When you put Average Joe in a pageant with four corpses beaten to a bloody pulp, of course Average Joe is going to look good and smell all the sweeter. It’s like that one girl in school who gathers a cluster of less pretty girls around her so she stands out as the pretty one; it’s like some status tactic used by schools of fish.

Now, let me come right out and say I did not see these films in the theater for a good reason; I had my doubts from the start. And, again, it took just one lousy lie of a rental to sully my belief in all the award talk. But, I keep hope alive, and I…I guess maybe I’m a little naïve, too, yet, to give these other “hits” a chance. I want to see what makes them so great.

So, let’s talk about my latest mistake, The Shape of Water. Oh, how the director got lauded with praise and looked so sweet and innocent on stage, giving his grand speech and kudos to all who let him make such a…gruesome, rude and lewd film. If I may be so frank, it’s as if he was extremely horny and hungry while watching the old Creature from the Black Lagoon, late at night, and then had the nerve to think making a remake with more nudity and foul language was a great idea. What a damn creative fool.

Sally Hawkins is the poster woman for the demure, docile, closet freak. Thank goodness she didn’t go on some murderous rampage; that would have really ruined the part. All crap aside, she gave the film an ounce of redemption…well, aside from what she had to do in the first half-hour. Seriously, del Toro, excessive nudity…excessive because it had NOTHING to do with the story. Nada. You didn’t get a close up of her scars until the one guy examined her. No; you just had her get naked, over and over, again, for your personal amusement.

And, what was with the other sex scene? Why didn’t you go one step or two steps further? Why not have the gay artist–with his foul mouth and obsessive dialogue–take advantage of the pie guy? Come on, throw in some finger this and f-that while they indulge in some gay sex. Or, why couldn’t Octavia Spencer get naked with her husband? Why can’t black and gay folks get fair sex play? Booo! No, I’m just kidding. But, really, why include any sex other than what was the focus of the film? There only had to be one sex scene, and you spoiled it before they got in the tub.

I would not be surprised if you ended up in court with all the other poor and stupid men who are getting grilled for indecent actions. I would not be surprised if something popped out of your closet. Why can’t you keep certain lewd thoughts to yourself? And, why did you have to make the film so graphic when it could have been a much nicer and just as exotic love story?

You went down some Stephen King, Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino side street and drove through Frank Miller’s neighborhood. You took Splash and turned it into Sin City. Oh, sure the ending is bittersweet and finally happy; but I ate a ton of shit before I could even try to smile; so the whole experience left me queasy. You poured acid on my whipped cream sundae. You’re not the worst film maker out there…but The Shape of Water had better not be your opus. I’d like the water to wash it out of my memory so I can fantasize, again. Your “big hit” is a giant seagull dropping, not something I could comfortably watch more than once. It has little to no replay value; I’d snip off just the final ten minutes and call it a lovely short film that encompasses the best of the story…which pretty much makes the movie another Citizen Kane; just spare us the horrific two-plus hours and tell us it was your childhood sled.

You want my humble rating? Would that do anything for you? I’d give The Shape of Water 1 out of 5 stars, overall. I’d give Sally Hawkins 4 stars for being a beautiful, caring freak who thankfully didn’t do anything too gross or wrong to make me hate her; and I feel sorry for her, for having to expose herself the way she did. I’d give cinematography 3 stars, maybe 4, because the movie did have a decent colored noir quality to it; it suited a Dick Tracy sort of story. But, Octavia Spencer pretty much reprised her roll in The Help; so what can I rave about that? One black woman in an otherwise white world? And, the story? I already said; it’s The Creature from the Black Lagoon in modern 3-DUH, Dolby foul mouth, bloody Sunday whack-a-vision. You get no points for creativity other than visual artistry, period. You are just another big name with all of the latest tools in your kit, and when given the chance to build a sand castle, you played with mud pies. When you had the chance to focus on a Cinderella story, you chose to screw the docile doe in the dark room; you put the horny jerk in the same cage with the last unicorn (and thank goodness *that* didn’t happen). [And, FYI, oddities eating cats went out with Alf…and it wasn’t any funnier then, either…but it was suggested, not on camera.]

But, ya all come back now and watch my masterpiece, again, ya hear? This is a family show…not. It definitely earns its R rating, unlike some films that only get an R because of one lousy little cross of the line. I’d say The Shape of Water even edges an X rating…because there was more flashing of boob and overt sex than most R-rated films I’ve seen.

Here’s a brief lesson in the school of suggestion: Sex, nudity and gore can be veiled and still convey the message.
1) When Sally’s character takes a bath or shower, we could see her silhouette behind a shower curtain, and we’d still know she’s naked. Or, you could have her enter the bathroom and cut to her already covered in soap suds; no need to expose the actress or any body double you may have used…which would only make the whole effort even more stupid and pointless.

When I was in school, my English/writing teachers would draw red circles around portions of stories that didn’t contribute to the plot or characters and took away from the overall enjoyment. What you included (which turned me off and made me ill) was definitely not key to anything; I am sure most viewers would be aware of a person needing to get naked for a bath or having sex with a wife…or were you afraid people might think the creep’s marriage was void of sex?…hey, that might have made that other scene with the cleaning lady better; ya know?

2) A rather pointless sex scene could be conveyed with sounds and/or two flirty people slipping into a room together; ya don’t have to show the woman exposing herself and the cruel, creepy, FBI-ish, White-Collar-Bizarro guy throttling her on the bed!

[How to curb/replace the excessive foul and lewd language is another matter…I’d just omit it. It didn’t make the love story any prettier. It just lumped your enchanting crapper-piece with the likes of Superbad and…I can’t think of any other crappers at the moment…thank goodness they are washed from memory. I’ve seen movies with rape scenes that were just as creepy/unsettling but more suggestive than overt.]

3) When your feature creature wants to eat another animal… Couldn’t you have shown the creature holding the cat and then cut away to an audio clip of someone crunching celery. Then, when the owner returns, have him look down and recoil in horror…and we’d get it! We’d know why he’s horrified. Ya don’t have to show all the bits and blood. Bleh!

Can you imagine some steamy love story where the man makes the woman bleed in the you-know-what area and one or both lovers develop a scarring STD after they have their sweaty fun? [Ya know what; that just gave me a crazy idea for a sexual alien comedy that would still be far cleaner than your mess.] Would you enjoy that movie as much as a more suggestive one without the unfortunate side effects of some realities? There’s a line between realistic and horrifying reality…and you sure cross it, mister, but not for the benefit of the viewers…unless you want to scare people away from love fantasies and support eating disorders…because I could have developed one had I kept my eyes glued on the screen and not used the fast-forward button.

At this rate, I could lose my appetite for film, altogether, before I am old enough to be a cripple stuck in a wheelchair in front of some TV with a bunch of other elder folks losing their minds to medication abuse. Just think…what’s the use in going into movie-making, aspiring to create some soul-satisfying masterpiece when the whole industry is one more mine field of twisted metal, of warping your dreams into nightmares and slave labor? People are dying and committing suicide for some reason. And, it doesn’t surprise me when I try to grasp what all goes into this industry and the infuriating cover-ups that get splashed all over TV screens, even when some creative soul dies tragically.

Losing my appetite for film would be a serious crime against nature, against my creative soul. The water is so polluted, even I am having a hard time writing/creating anything spectacular; but, then again, I work alone, most of the time. I don’t have a clue what it’s like to be surrounded by teammates who can actually work together to make something run like clockwork and make people wonder what the budget must have been to create such a spectacle.

So, I must remind myself not to pay a lick of attention to award shows. Or, at least, I must go to bed before that final fifteen minutes into overtime when we viewers are supposed to be holding our breaths for the big reveal, the final envelope of crap. I must write them off and stick to the trailers that work for me.

Sell me a good trailer, and I’ll give you a chance. And, if you lie to me…..well, let’s just say my response will be…amazing, amazing crying crazy amazing. You’ll certainly find me writing you off my interest list. And, I have ways of swaying the masses. Not that it matters much when the majority seems to be losing all sense of creativity, as if they’ve become so numb from countless abusive images that they no longer have the brain cells to produce anything remotely as good as the stories they refuse to let go, stories from so long ago, they’ve been dragged behind cars for decades, tossing through one remake after another like tin cans on strings.

You know who the real losers are here (aside from creative souls)? The movie theaters and good people who appreciate them. All of the modern technology this world pushes for and all of the crappy, expensive films that get made…bump out all of the wonderful places that one could say feel like a second home. The day when someone decides to shut down the last movie theater in favor of some microscopic internet service station (ding! ding! goes the air tube keeping you couch potatoes alive), I’m sure to cry or have a considerably furious stomach upset because it will be like a nuclear bomb going off and destroying some serene tourist attraction. [Don’t get me started on the horrors of nuclear power pursuits.]

There wouldn’t be any concern for piracy if people didn’t introduce devices that could do such a thing. And, if movie theaters could afford better security without making visitors feel violated like other venues that practically X-ray you when you walk through, if people still cared, maybe thieves wouldn’t get away with what they still do, even after the days of VHS and the most primitive of camcorders. I don’t know why anyone cares about bootlegging, lately…because I am not sure what films are really worth stealing. Or, is that why so many films suck and twist the original story material?…is that why Michael Bay mangled Transformers?…because too many pirates were trying to make a buck off other people’s work? So, since the dawn of film piracy, everyone in the industry just started pumping out their worst, not their best? We settled into dependency upon whatever the latest technology is and putting up poster children as feature stars? Are we selling good stories or the latest model of movie camera you can only get at exclusive electronics stores?…on sale this week until tomorrow…flash sale!

And, breathe. I…don’t know how to wrap this up. The stench is just pouring out of me. So, I leave it as it is, like a broken garbage bag. I had to air it out, though, so I didn’t die from the stink in silence. Now, you know, and knowing is half the battle.

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18
Mar
19

Captain Marvel, 2019 Movie Review

****

Brie Larson is a dazzling and very youthful ball of fire in the latest installment in the Avengers franchise, Captain Marvel, a story that takes place some time before the previously launched films (since 2008), winking at a variety of nostalgia, including Blockbuster video rental stores, pagers and the infancy of the 1990s’ dial-up internet, as well as nods to movies like Rambo (1982-) and Top Gun (1986). [And, if I am not mistaken, Octopussy, a 1983? film.] Men in Black (1997-) wasn’t explicitly featured, but the whole Agents-of-SHIELD-discovering-aliens-on-Earth concept pretty much touched all of the same bases.

If I just weighed you down with more words about movie history than the stars and highlights of the film, that’s just what my brain was doing. I kept finding myself drifting off–similar to Carol Danvers (Larson) grasping at distorted fragments of memories–thinking about where I might have seen something before, thinking about a particular song and video game of *that time,* wondering why certain enemies were so obvious while others were…not enemies? This is a rather nostalgic movie, like a two-plus hour trip around a flea market with timely songs blaring from tabletop radios on a hot summer day.

Holy Mother Brain, true believers! Can we say live-action Samus Aran? The only thing missing from this Metroid-wannabe was Captain Mar-Vel turning into a ball and bouncing off walls. There is an original GameBoy portable game system in plain sight. And, there is a scene early in the film when “Veers” (a very clever break from Danvers, by the way) is fighting off some Skrulls with some sort of tube-like restraints over her forearms…and they glow just like the varia suit’s blaster-arm-thingy. Not to mention, Brie is practically the perfect young blonde to play Samus…AND the whole story of how she is molded into the Captain Marvel character screams Samus Aran’s origin story. [You might say Brie Larson has “the right stuff” to star in a Metroid movie.]

And, have you ever compared the black-and-yellow Ms. Marvel/Warbird costume with some Samus imagery from Super Metroid? The lightning bolt on the former has a strong resemblance to the S associated with and flashed at the end of the game. [If someone can make a decent-looking Pokemon film that isn’t purely anime, we can make an epic Metroid movie! I’m also itching to work on a Ninja Gaiden movie. Seriously, Nintendo. Get on this. And, sign me up if you want this gaming artist and super fan’s input.]

Kudos to another Stan Lee cameo, but this one was rather sad. I am fairly certain that was just a CG ghost, some…person with dots attached to their face before Stan’s likeness was molded over it (sort of like a Skrull impersonating someone…hmm), with a broken record of a voice clipping. I *did,* however like the opening Stan Lee tribute, the barrage of cameo shots, instead of the usual Marvel-Disney movie opener. As I was watching Stan appear in military uniform, I said to myself, “Now, that’s the real Captain Marvel.”

As a kid, back when a Micronaut named Marionette had plucked the strings of my young heart, I remember looking at the back of some comic book that featured a male Captain Marvel standing shoulder-to-shoulder with a blonde heroine in the same costume; and I wondered who she was. When I found out…and I am pretty sure she was called Ms. Marvel at the time…I was instantly infatuated. [And, wasn’t there a black woman called Captain Marvel who wore a white costume with a golden star on the front?] Years later, I learned she had somehow crossed paths with the X-Men and become a fiery being called Binary, after Rogue had supposedly taken her powers and Carol went through some kind of coma/trauma. When Ms. Marvel adopted the black costume, I was still drawn to her. [Ha.] But, the name Warbird rubbed me the wrong way. I never associated Carol Danvers with any airforce/military unit (didn’t know that history); I just saw her as a beautiful blonde woman who magically donned a superheroine costume that surpassed the whole Krypton family and the DC favorite of so many fans, Wonder Woman (who may have a great figure and glorious dark hair but lacks in costume design, other than working the American imagery into some sort of feminine apparel). [‘Love the mask, long gloves and boots.] So, when Coca-Cola created the Supermom commercials a few years back, you can imagine what came to mind…or who came to mind and what went through my infatuated mind.

Okay, now back to the real, core movie of this review.

The story is nothing new, in terms of superhero origins and alien-invasion tales; aliens walk among us humans, hidden from plain sight. There’s a secret policing group constantly shifting to address, control and/or attack the invaders. And, by some stroke of cosmic luck, one chosen human is blasted into super-stardom, taking out anyone she feels like blasting while we listen to a karaoke bar favorite (before she blasts the jukebox).

Let’s talk about the “bad,” first.

You see a pattern there? A lot of blasting? I totally get the makers of this film were putting all of their marbles into portraying a petite-yet-fierce young woman who can take on the universe. But, there was a fair amount of shoot-first-and-ask-questions-later, not the most intelligent “guardian of the galaxy.” But, maybe we can excuse this, due to her messed-up brain not knowing who to call the enemy.

And, yet, when there is another opportunity to show-off, the heroine chooses to display her ability to heat water. That wrinkled my brow a bit. Why couldn’t she have spared the jukebox and just heated a cup of water to prove her power/point? [Which, by the way, is a lame reason to claim she isn’t an enemy, when the naive Nicholas Fury has no clue what anyone not from Earth could do, anyway.] Why I am concerned about a jukebox? I don’t know. But, so many movies do stupid things to earn “blockbuster” status; it’s as if they fear people won’t laugh or cheer unless you destroy X-number of vehicles and commit Y-amount of property damage, even if you have to drag the women you’re now trying to elevate into the messes. [While some found it amusing to see the Hulk randomly hit his fellow heroes in the first Avengers movie, I thought that was stupid humor.]

Another brow-wrinkler was this Marvel-movie trend’s latest attempt to modernize everything, taking the heroine out of Earth’s picture for a mere six years while giving the SHIELD agents a sort of 1970s appearance/feel to them, as if they were working the Roswell alien case. It’s hard to gauge how emotional people should be after what–to me–feels like a short departure. I don’t know much about Captain/Ms. Marvel (aka Warbird aka Binary), but I would have figured she would be missing, at least, a decade to have any sort of separation tension/confusion upon returning. Friends not seeing each other for six years is like going to different colleges and then meeting up in New York to catch up. It’s not quite the same as Captain America being separated from his beloved Agent Carter by a wartime deep freeze. [I’m just glad they didn’t try to place Captain America’s latest origin story in the Gulf War.] I also wasn’t sure how to feel about “Veers” shifting between being very alien to “planet C-53” one minute and then talking “chummy” with SHIELD agents and a former airforce buddy the next. [Couldn’t she have asked to use a “payphone” or “walkie talkie” or to speak with some former CO if she was only gone a few years? Yet, she can hotwire a video game system to call her team in deep space, like E.T. (1982) phoning home.]

And–spoiler alert–why does “Nicholas Fury” not have a clue sooner about his boss? How can he work with this guy for so long and then suddenly be thrown when the boss calls him a different name in the elevator? [Or, did I miss a body swap somewhere? And, if so, where/when does the real boss disappear?]

Also, Danvers (Larson) brings a hint of a childlike “Disney magic” (which is probably why they cast and molded her into this role, like a Kree) to her part, practically dancing and humming to herself as she flits from scene to scene. She even has a kid help her pick a “new” costume the touch of a button (maaagic). [Her youth is one reason I was skeptical of seeing this movie; I’ve come to know a more seasoned, weathered, alcoholic Carol Danvers from my limited exposure to her in comic books. But, I totally get attracting a younger audience and the potential for starting the story when Carol is still “fresh out of the package.”] If she’s not kicking butt, she’s waltzing around threats. The way she learns to fly seems a tad lame and senseless, when she could have figured it out sooner and/or under different conditions; it’s as if the movie makers just drew the moment out to make people gasp. In short, everything comes a tad easy to one given such cosmic power (not unlike just about any member of the Skywalker family taking out large portions of an enemy army/race). What she chooses to do with the “responsibility” of that power is a bit of a gray area.

[And, as I write this, I am having another one of my strong bouts with deja vu…]

Probably the biggest stink of the film is a combination of its predictability and gray areas. [I had a similar issue with Ant Man and the Wasp, not knowing how to classify the “villain” and, thus, not knowing how to feel about the heroics.] If this was just a reproduction of the genuine origin story, I am okay with that; I’d rather see a comic book come to life than have someone warp the story entirely and have fans wondering what happened to their beloved heroine. But, other than some questionable actions taken, the “gray” villains and one small…er, big…creature feature, I kinda saw what was coming, even without knowing all of the origin story’s details.

I wasn’t as dazzled by the fight scenes and big explosions as I was by Brie’s lovely, glowing face. [And, she doesn’t need cosmic power or CG fire in her already fiery eyes to glow, either. Me-Yow.] There was no one who could truly stand up to Captain Marvel; “they” tried to restrain her, but that fell flat/short before there was nothing but fluffy fireworks. [There’s no Red Skull to counter the Captain. Or, if there is, he’s no Red Skull. Heh.]

While, yes, there was a slight surprise regarding who to call the enemy (when I think about who has been an enemy in a number of Marvel Comics projects), one particular actor–whose name I won’t mention though he is PERPETUALLY cast as the sneaky villain–could not hide his true intentions/nature from the start. And, that is a casting shame. I don’t like seeing actors pigeon-holed (type-cast) this way. But, honestly, casting agency, try a little harder when picking someone who masks his allegiance. The guy might be willing to take every gig he can get; but come on!

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing–if Carol’s history only needed to be a photograph–but…was there any airforce content other than images of pilots in various outfits and that repeating boot camp scene? I am asking this solely because I saw some promotional snippet that featured Brie riding in a fighter jet, as if she was doing some serious character research. But, now I am thinking that was just Marilyn Monroe visiting the boys at the air base. There was more airforce content in the 2008 Iron Man film. I don’t recall even an ounce of pilot terminology; I might have blacked out when they were playing the recording from the “black box.” So…was this some subtle promotion for women to enlist in the armed forces? Yvan eht nioj? [I tend to look at these things the way Carol looks at Maria’s neighbor in the movie.]

And, the good?

I think the best part of this movie is a combination of artistry and Brie’s fiery expressions (her “heart”). [Though, I felt she could have benefitted from a few more ounces of emotional “oomph.” Sure, people messed with her head and put restraints on her; but she wasn’t a slave. I never saw her take any serious punishment. All of her “struggle” was kind of a brief blur.]

This is a well-composed film, in terms of costume/wardrobe, music, special effects and background (back story). The Captain Marvel costume–aside from the odd mohawk factor they tried to salvage from the comic’s history…and the do-everything-including-short-circuiting wrist computer–was stylish and not so far-fetched that you had to wonder how it came to be. And, “grunge”/”Top Gun” fighter pilot Carol Danvers isn’t hard on the eyes, either. [She’s like Elisabeth Shue in Adventures in Babysitting (1987).] There was a decent story for most aspects of the main character, including her name…er, namesss. [The dog-tag bits were especially slick.] The overall feel of the movie’s nostalgia and composition is good, similar to how I felt about Black Panther’s soundtrack keeping me grooving throughout the movie…and how the second Guardians of the Galaxy made me want to dig out an old audio cassette player and dance to disco music.

[One costume detail I somewhat missed was the Ms. Marvel scarf/sash (though I realize there is a new Middle Eastern and teenage Miss Marvel now who has a very clever ethnic scarf as part of her costume). And, seeing the little girl give a pilot jacket back to Carol, I was thinking…why couldn’t the girl give Carol a scarf she made for good luck and have that be the origin of the scarf/sash. Or, the scarf could have belonged to Annette Bening’s character.]

There’s a good amount of sci-fi action. But, this is not a Jack Kirby epic, a man known for putting the “wallop” in cosmic superhero comics like Thor and Silver Surfer. Certain camera angles/shots could have been more dynamic. A few more shots of nebulas, stars and planets might have brought the artistry up a notch and impressed me the way the rainbow bridges did in the first Thor film.

So, while, looking back, I feel the deck is stacked against this film…and I am slightly toting a grudge against Disney for having anything to do with Marvel Comics…I cannot say Captain Marvel is a bad addition to the current string of S.L.J. (Samuel L. Jackson as Fury) movies. I would watch it, again, but, probably, just because I am so partial to Brie Larson. [It’s a crutch.]

A major–minor spoiler alert–question: Why is Earth where the Kree think they can create a machine to stop a war? [Was the time-and-space cube-thingy, the “tesseract,” already on Earth when the Kree first landed; did they come expecting to find/use it? And, refresh my memory, how many “infinity stones” have been found on Earth…and why all on one planet we know? And, what is the origin of the tesseract (which contains a secret from another movie in this series); how did it become a cube?]

Captain Marvel doesn’t wow or amuse me as much as Robert Downey, Jr.’s portrayal of Tony Stark/Iron Man, but is it any worse than seeing “Pepper” escape an exploding reactor as Iron Man faces his nemesis? No. [Or, wait, is the current audience too young to remember 2008? Ya never know, these days.]

On that note, DO NOT show little ones this film. This may be made by Disney (and what’s left of Marvel Studios)…and it may be light on responsibility… but…well…you know what some say about watching Bambi. I had some tots in the audience with me, and they could not contain their emotions during a few brief intense moments, as if they knew the violence was/felt wrong. You need to be, at least, a teenager to go on this ride. And, even a teenager is likely to feel lost unless an adult who has lived the 1990s can fill them in on some details. It’s crazy to me when I try to think of explaining the 1990s the way I’d want my grandparents to explain the WWI and/or WWII days.

I give Captain Marvel (2019) 3 out of 5 stars and will let it slide as a rental because there isn’t anything that requires the big screen (unless there are small details that might have otherwise been…that I might have…missed). [I don’t care what Jimmy Fallon says about every film released in 3D; it’s clearly not worth it in this one.] It doesn’t grab me like Spider-Man swinging across New York City to save M.J. (back when MJ was a vibrant redhead who purred when she called Peter Parker “Tiger”); but it’s enough to keep me buzzing and smiling…most of the time. Two of those three stars go to Brie Larson’s eyes…or, rather, they were always there. The third is on her costume.

If you feel like taking a leisurely (versus engrossing) road trip through the 1980s and 1990s…or if you’re only happy when it rains…give Captain Marvel a try. And, if Brie can’t put a smile on your face, blame the film makers.

24
Jun
14

They’re Writing Books About Reading Books? Now, I’ve Read Everything

If you’re reading books which tell you about a long list of books…written by women who have read a long list of books…just think how much more fruitful it might have been to glance at an online book review, join a book club or talk with fellow bookworms as you encounter them to compare notes before diving right into the books themselves.  If you spend 10-30 bucks on one person’s reviews of a list of books, you should pay every person you meet who tells you about a good book they read.  It’s only fair.

I fear the day when dumpsters are loaded with these review tomes like the PC books no one wants for anything but coasters and cheap painting canvas material (because regular canvases are too expensive?).  Writing books about reading books…whatever happened to social interaction and word of mouth?




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