Posts Tagged ‘words

13
Feb
17

The Taylor Alison Swiftword Dictionary

A playful use of Taylor, Alison and/or Swift in combination with ordinary words, creating an original vocabulary just for her.  [IE Spendswift instead of spendthrift, + an original definition.]

For your reading pleasure, a taste of Grey Poupon–er, Luigi Boccherini’s string quintet minuet.

*****

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A

Air Swift, n, her personal airplane transportation

alison et lumiere, n, an outdoor stage performance bursting with colorful, dramatic lighting, music and a slice of local history

alisonance, n, the moment when her voice hits just the right note to ensnare your heart

alisonata, n, a solo performance with or without one instrument in her hands

alisong, n, one track of her voice on a cassette, record or CD

alisongstress, n, the pressure she puts upon herself to be superhuman and generate favorable business

C

chairswift, 1. n, her seat on the board of any business she runs
2. n, a different side of her seen only when she’s off her feet

E

ex-tay specs, n, the sunglasses worn by her former suitors to mask their feelings about her (when confronted/asked after the breakup)

F

forkswift, interj, a word used to vent anger and/or frustration when everything seems to be going wrong, accepting the possibility of even greater punishment (not taboo)

H

hide-n-swift, n, a preferred flirting technique involving discreet movement, a safe hiding place, quick hands and compelling facial expressions
Moving toward the hedge maze, she drew him to her side with a little hide-n-swift.

R

red-letter tay, n, a lasting image of her at her best or worst captured in a frequently reproduced photograph

S

scratch-n-swift, 1. n, a “bedroom technique” that’s for her to know and you to find out
2. n, a rare rap album made by her which does not sell as well as other albums but is still worth a good laugh
3. adj, enticing enough to grab her attention and instill a need for action
The article about her was so scratch-n-swift that she contacted the author immediately.

spendswift, adj, how she shops while avoiding unwanted attention
She was so spendswift that no one even caught a glimpse of her leaving the store.

swiftoff, n, the moment or time when she eagerly wishes to cast off her professional and/or family restraints and be as uninhibited as possible

swift store, n, a shop that specifically sells products she approves and makes part of her daily life
You’ll see her step out of a cab or building, wearing items from a swift store.

swift ticket, 1. n, a piece of thick paper or thin cardboard needed to attend one of her concerts
2. n, a key or token granted to an admirer which gives him or her special access (partial or full) to her life outside the spotlight

swiftwood, n, a souvenir left with or without intent by her, found by a deserving fan/friend

T

tay bag, n, what she loads with the essentials for her day before strapping it over her shoulder

tay bed, n, where she likes to take catnaps

taybreak, n, what she takes when she needs some personal time and/or space

taycake, n, a palm-size treat given to those she likes when the mood strikes; it goes nicely with a cup of hot tay–er, tea

tay camp, n, where she meets with everyone involved in putting on one of her concerts

taycare, n, what she requires after a tiring or stressful day

tay ceremony, n, her idea of the perfect wedding

tay check, 1. n, a personal inspection of her wardrobe, skin condition, hair, etc.
2. n, what she collects after every performance from the stage or theater that hosted her

tay chi, n, a preferred calming technique which prevents her from ever appearing anything other than aloof or charming in public
Note: This does not stop her from appearing crazy/insane, lustful or dangerous on film (IE in music videos).

taycough, n, the first sign she is not feeling well

tay cozy, n, a sweater, jacket or robe that provides ample comfort and warmth without lacking style

taycup, n, her preferred beverage vessel

tay day, n, a day spontaneously chosen to deal with and recover from emergencies; during this time, no one is permitted to speak with her unless she requires their assistance

tay dirt, 1. n, what she scrubs off her skin every time she showers or takes a bath
2. n, a plot of soil chosen for mud wrestling

taydream, n, a fantasy about her experienced by one of her many admirers

tay fever, n, a sudden and lingering rush of heat felt by those who are attracted to her

taylback, n, the reserved position she intentionally takes while walking or running a few steps behind a companion, usually in response to snooping cameras or to avoid an oncoming threat

taylblazer or taylor-blazer, n, a unique and eyecatching fashion, cosmetic, hair or otherwise aesthetic statement made by her

taylbored, adj, no longer interested in what you have to offer

taylisman or taliswift, n, presented by her to a deserving fan/friend, this token of appreciation is said to share a bit of the magic she embodies

taylender, n, her preferred technique for ending a relationship, romantic or otherwise

taylgate or taylorgate, n, her most intimate barrier to aspiring lovers

taylight, n, the alluring, almost supernatural light or glow she casts in motion

taylight-saving time, n, the period every night during which she sleeps to replenish her taylight

tay lily, n, a special variety of lily grown just for her; it grows tall, graceful and white–just like her–before shaking off its petals

tayload, n, the sum of favors, presents and/or treats bestowed upon a beloved admirer in a single visit or mail day

tayloft, n, where she keeps her tay bed

taylorberries, n pl, her lush lips when painted red (as she often does)

Taylor Maid, proper n, any person in the service of cleaning up after her concerts and/or personal appearances

taylor-made, 1. adj, crafted by her
2. adj, emotionally or mentally affected by her, usually after spending time in her company
After their last date, her boyfriend was taylor-made, neither able to focus on his work nor socialize with anyone else until the effect expired.
3. adj, locked in her sights, soon to be visited by her
The moment the movie hunk walked by her, he was taylor-made.
4. adj, made seemingly perfect for her
The dress complemented her so well; it was taylor-made.

taylspin, 1. n, a brief relationship which ends with the ex feeling dizzy and unsure about what went wrong
2. n, a story told by her in the form of a song, usually about a relationship, either one that she wishes to have or one that ended quickly and left her suitor feeling dizzy and unsure about what went wrong

Tay-Master-General, proper n, a title she prefers a lover to use when she is feeling exceptionally bossy

Tay of Atonement, proper n, the side of her that walks the long road to forgiveness, struggling to apologize after appearing as the Tay of Judgement

Tay of Judgement, proper n, the side of her that is critical of others

Tay of Pigs, proper n, her nickname when she foregoes any prescribed diet and indulges herself

Tay of Reckoning, proper n, the businesswoman side of her that tackles the financial paperwork which goes with her job, usually on a specific day of reckoning

tay of the land, n, the side of her that is closest to nature, usually when she is resting barefoot on the ground

taypan, n, a breed of snake bred specifically to suit her astrological nature, not to be confused with the Australian taipan; also known as the Taylorus Panpetrus, Petra Pan and Sagittarius Earth Serpent

tay party, n, a relatively quiet gathering of a few close friends known for inside jokes and intimate discussion

taypot, n, a pinnacle of happiness one may instill in her
He went home feeling lucky that night after hitting the taypot.

tay sculpture, n, a favored massage delivered only by the most trusted masseuse or masseur

tay shift, n, a swift and/or sharp change in mood

taystack, n, a pile of books and/or scripts she aspires to read

tayzer or taylor beams, n pl, the invisible heat rays that stem from her slender eyes, capable of hypnotizing, paralyzing and/or crippling those who make eye contact.
Note: The shape of her eyes provide a wide, sweeping range of motion like a quality security camera.

tayzuli, n, the particular pigment and configuration of her blue eyes

trailtaylor, n, a person who lingers on her trail or follows her on tour

W

weightswifter, n, a food, technique, exercise or manmade product that helps maintain her tall, lean appearance
When the man complimented her appearance, she said it was all thanks to her weightswifter.

 

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28
Jul
14

The AMAZING Lies

 

 

And now, back to Late Night with Writingbolt!

Alright. Welcome back. My first guest tonight is a stellar performer known for his work in YADA and YADA. Here to discuss his latest epic about NADA which hits theaters this weekend. Please welcome…

 

 

Have you ever watched a “talk” or “entertainment”/”tabloid” show just to see some celebrity interview and hear what they have to say about their latest movie, TV show or theater project? And, have you ever counted the number of times their eyes go blank as the word “amazing” slips from their parched lips?

I once saw a theater trivia slide (those image stills you might see before the trailers and unrelated ads begin rolling across the screen) which mentioned the use of a certain word in “the business” to loosen lips before reciting lines. [I think it was rhubarb.] If I listen to my conspiracy theory inner voice, I’d presume “amazing” was code for something entirely different. And, maybe…just maybe…the varying inflection of actors’ voices indicates a change in the translation. Maybe a swift, shrill “amazing” means the host should move quickly to the next question. And, maybe, a lower, softer, drawn-out “amazing” means: “I’m still regretting submitting myself to this filthy money train and can’t wait til these interviews finally end and I can (insert your costly therapy of choice).” Surely, an “amazing” uttered with a cough and/or a scratch of the cheek means something negative is lurking under the actor’s or actress’ fingernails. In any case, it’s yet another load of televised crap that I am personally tired of witnessing.

[Of course, I could just stop watching like some people. But, how then would I learn what Gretta Somebody’s favorite flower is so I can buy stock in the plant before stalking my way to her back doorstep? I’m kidding. Or, AM I?!]

DID you enjoy working with that director who likes explosions in every one of his dumb films though they risk your very life in the pursuit of box office records? Or, are you still seeing stars from the flames and waiting for your ears to stop ringing?

Did you REALLY like every member of the cast you worked with? Or, did someone make your four months on and/or off set so miserable that you considered making a dangerous cocktail of sleeping pills and vodka? Maybe you’d like to get that weight off your chest before your therapist puts you on some dangerous medication or your arm no longer has room for one more rubber band.

Did you REALLY enjoy going on a strict diet and having your body put through a Play-Doh fun factory just to fit the shape the casting director/s wanted? Do you REALLY like risking your health by changing your appearance, including your weight/body mass, every time you take a new role? Or, would you rather play parts that take you as you are and spare the plastic surgery (though you may have to work on using different vocal tones and personalities that are not your own)? [In other words, you pretend to be someone else and wear a costume if necessary. And, casting directors either search farther than their noses for actors to fit the parts or cut those available some physical slack. But, you’re free to eat and drink whatever you please and skip the countless trips to the therapist and/or personal trainer squad.]

If you’re willing to hear my advice, anyone who feels the need to use the word “amazing” or any of its regret-masking cousins should turn to the one giving the interview and say, “I’m not going to answer that at this time.” Or, here’s a refreshing idea. Be honest.

But, I suppose, that’s too dangerous and difficult, considering nothing negative can be said without creating foul gossip/business. [Of course, bad news in your local area and current events around the world is an exception to this rule. You don’t see weather reporters putting “amazing” spins on severe storms destroying neighborhoods. Well, you might. But, that just means the reporter is really due for a vacation because he or she has been locked away in a room of computer monitors and radar equipment far too long.] Why waste the viewers’ time with fabricated information? And, why make those participating in the project wax over the truth in interview after interview after interview after…

You want people to tune in? Stop making ME tune out! Or, here’s a novel notion. Skip the discussion of the process, fill in the gaps with more relatable personal topics and then get right to the film clip.

14
Jul
14

The Next Time You Feel the Need to Ask, “Wouldn’t it be cool if…,”

…hold your tongue and consider the possible consequences/misuse of that thought. You’re as likely to contribute to crime and horrific punishment as you are to creating something new and exciting.

14
Jul
14

Does a Stinky Message Smell as Sweet?

 

 

Well, how could it? I mean…I just said it’s a stinky message. Right?

But, what if you don’t see or smell the stench because others convince

you it’s worth the price of their resources? Suddenly, you’re more

interested in experiencing something with your own senses than

weighing the pros and cons. If all of your neighbors are jumping at the

chance–even if it robs them of their privacy, wealth and/or dignity–why

let the seemingly obvious warning signs stand in your way of joining

them?

 

 

When you join a club or website, do you give the name or any policy details any thought? Or, do you just join because others have, the meeting room/home page looks pretty or it’s the first place you found in a search for space to write out/share your thoughts?

 

Would an unpleasant name or rule insisting you humiliate/hurt yourself in some way stop you from joining? Or, do these not stop you?

 

When you see a commercial for a product involving real people sharing their enthusiasm, do you believe the person really supports, likes and/or uses the product? Or, do you dismiss this as (bad) acting and learn more about the product another way?

 

Do you listen to music for its beat while ignoring the lyrics? Have you ever heard a song that sounded good until you learned the lyrics upset your moral code? Do you pledge loyalty to a band/musician even if you don’t like all of their songs? Have you ever given up interest in a musician/band after hearing an awful song?

 

 

Is “trending” so vital to social interaction and acceptance that we forget

or ignore what is defined as negative, immoral and/or harmful? Maybe

you’ve heard some version of the expression: “If all of your friends

jump off a bridge, do you have to join them?” This isn’t revolutionary

news here, people. This has been going around since Eve sold herself

into evil’s service and gave a bad apple to her boy toy, Adam.

 

 

[In future posts, I will discuss two categories/examples, Music and Websites. Look for them if interested in reading more.]

23
Oct
13

Blog Brain Blockage

I’ve had at least a dozen ideas for some form of post.  I’ve had everything from advice nonsense to witty stories to comic strips.  And yet, not one has made it to the warehouse here.  I blame blog brain for me wanting to write/post so much.  It’s a chronic  condition in which you read enough online postings to see them in your mind during the rest of your day.  You blink, and you’re posting a blog.  Well, one of these days, the bubble has to burst, and I will post something witty and new.  One of these days…one of these days…




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