Posts Tagged ‘TV

15
May
17

Carmen-Sandiego-inspired! New and Old Lyrics to an Old PBS Delight

*****

So, about two weeks ago, SNL (Saturday Night Live) featured a Carmen-Sandiego-inspired mini-skit about a certain dubious political character.  It struck my funny bone so hard that I “geeked out,” reminiscing about the 90s and what was once a darn good PBS game show for kids (and geographically-challenged adults).  Not only did the show feature a mental challenge (and, for some contestants, a physical one); it also introduced a musical group known as Rockapella which, I think, sparked a serious a cappella movement (when they weren’t injecting humorous bits that may have flown over the heads of kids).

[I also heard about other projects through the grapevine.  There was some blurb about an adult Carmen movie?  Not sure I want to hear more about that.  And, there might be some kind of new Carmen Sandiego project, possibly a web series with Gina Rodriguez attached.  If it is a revitalization of that old PBS game show or the decent yet reasonably goofy cartoon series, maybe the creators would appreciate/respect my new lyrics.  Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.  😀 ]

So inspired was I, watching some episodes anew and inspired online videos, that I couldn’t help crafting a whole new set of lyrics to the show’s theme song!  I have left some bits in parentheses because I wasn’t sure how they fit.  [Input appreciated.]

AND (hearing myself sound like Lynn Thigpen as she described prize packages), some simple Carmen Sandiego calling cards.

Check ’em out and tell me whatchya think.  [I’ll also post my version of the original Rockapella lyrics.]

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My own lyrics to add/fit in:

(first verse)

She got the cops on the run while Roman with the Coliseum.
‘Left them…on a walkabout as she strolled down to Sydney.
‘Dropped a Rio Grande in Vegas and then ran out of De Janeiro.
Tell me…

(Chorus/Hook)

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Whoa-oh, where can she be?

(second verse)

Say ciao to your leaning tower; kiss your Taj Mahal Mumbai.
(You) Can’t slow her down when she’s on…one of her crime sprees.
Teaching you a history lesson is the Big Apple of her aye-aye.
Tell me…

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

(slow traveling section, IE Nashville to Norway, etc.)

She snatched the Red Square from Moscow, the Triangle from Bermuda,
While drawing circles ’round the pyramids of (Egypt and) Peru!

(scat sections)

Now, tell me where!
(softer second voice: …is Carmen Sandiego?)
Tell me where!
(softer second voice: …is Carmen Sandiego?)

Hire a henchman or two…!
To drop another clue!
That’s what you…didgeridoo…!
When Crimenet is after you!

(third verse)

She can bank on New Guinea, run off with Old Milwaukee,
Tear up Main Street and…shut down L.A.
What you’re left with is…right where it should be.
Tell me…

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

(fourth verse)

She grabbed Java, Indonesia, had tea with the Queen,
Scarfed some waffles in Brussels…topped with whipped cream,
Before she pilfered Parma and some vanilla bean.
Tell me…

Where in the world i-I-i-Is Carmen Sandiego?!

(scat)

Where in the wor-orld!
(softer second voice: …is Carmen Sandiego?)
Where in the wor-orld!
(softer second voice: …is Carmen Sandiego?)
Where in the world! Where in the world! Where in the world!
(softer second voice: …is Carmen Sandiego?)

Until next crime, detectives.

carmen-sandiego-fromVILEcommand-WiTICS-PBS-circa-1995_callingcard-850450-ap-2C

************

And, lastly, the original Rockapella lyrics from the PBS game show.  [Pardon my variation of contractions, etc., if that bothers you.]

Well, she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina;
She’s a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize.
She will take you for a ride on a slow boat to China.
Tell me…

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Whoa-oh, tell me where in the world can she be?

Steal their Seoul in South Korea;
Make Antarctica cry “uncle.”
From the Red Sea to Greenland, they’ll be…singing the blues.
Well, they never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the jungle.
Tell me…

She goes from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe,
Chicago to Czech and Slovakia and back!

Well, she will ransack Pakistan and run a scam in Scandinavia.
Then she will stick ’em up down under and go…pick-pocket Perth.
She put the “miss” in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima.
Tell me…

Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam,
Mali to Bali, Ohio, OaHU!…….

The warrant!…The warrant…The warrant!…

Ooooh, the chaaase…ooh-woo-woo-woooo, the chaaase…

Monday through Friday at five!

Well, she glides around the globe,
And she will flim-flam every nation.
She’s a double-dealing diva with a taste for thievery.
Her itinerary’s loaded with moving violations.
Tell me…

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? (x5)
Watch your back!

 

07
Sep
16

My *Questionable* Pleasure (TV Show)

*****

Occasionally, I hear people on TV talk about their “guilty pleasures.”  I don’t like the word “guilty.”  Nor do I know what sort of guilt I should feel for watching a particular “reality TV” show which is both creative and humiliating, innovative and exploitative…  It’s a dirty trick on the mind.  It teases you with colorful images and fun games while abusing the participants who we are drugged to believe are willing players in a simple game.  [But, it’s not a simple game.  We are just duped like an audience at a Roman coliseum to root for either the lions or the gladiators.]

I am talking about CBS’ Big Brother.  I watch the show for a few reasons.  I tell myself it’s because I enjoy some of the competitions they invent, including the props.  I like looking at the interior decorating.  It definitely is a fun house design.  And then, there is the “beauty contest.”

Just about every year since its conception, I get roped into watching most of it.  Every time, I go through the same motions.  There is usually one pretty face I favor and root for throughout (unless she turns out to be a psycho bitch).  And, there are way too many annoying examples of southern-state, post-college-age delinquents who whine and whisper excessively in a desperate plotting way that just grinds the gears.  [I could easily skip over ninety percent of each show just to get to the good stuff which mainly consists of what are called “competitions” or “comps.”]

Last year, my heart went out to this crazy blonde gal.

bigbro17_heart-meg-1

There were two other contenders who lacked height but had their “perks.”  Shelli was the perfect blend of beauty and brains and had a good chance of winning.  Jackie…was just Jackie; plenty of assets, but my gut told me (as it usually does) not to fall too quickly for someone so “flashy.”

And, that verges into what I consider the shallow, exploitative side of the show which surely dives into some contractual pool any sane soul would not likely want to share with the media sharks.  [But, we the viewers don’t really see any of that; do we?  We just get the scandalous pictures.]

Anyway…

This year, these two exceptionally GORGEOUS young women stopped my heart.  Both suffered the same fate and are very close in age.  Both didn’t display exceptional brains or strength but sure have plenty of beauty.

bb18_heart-bridgette-dunning_850x700-1

A “traveling nurse.”  [Someone explain that job to me, please.]  Her radiant smile and lively hair just wash away any doubts you may have about her.

bb18_heart-zekiyah-everette_591x691-1

A “preschool teacher.”  Her eyes and lips are both comforting pillows and boxing gloves.  Her long, luxurious hair (hopefully all-natural) is the towel that fans you after losing a fight.

Both masters of expression appear like graceful pixies from some enchanted garden who dance over flowerbeds.  Neither is the easiest to catch, but their sweet voices call to you like the ocean.

My heart aches from confusion.  Part of me wants to jump through the TV screen and save the beaut–join the game.  Every year, I leave (watching) the show disappointed.  I should hate such exploitation.  An activist mind like Bridgette’s (a “feminist”) should probably not find interest in the whole mess, either.  But, she auditioned for it.  And, I am utterly smitten with her.  [I was smitten with Julie Chen, the US host, from year one!]

juliechen-bigbrother-cbs_greetaudience-animated-2

All I can do is let it wash out of my system like the tide taking part of the beach away every summer.

 

And, in case you are thinking I should get or have permission to use these images, I’ll just let Bridgette explain.

bb18_bridgette_dunning_cozyhat-goaheadshesays-animated-4

“Go ahead,” says Bridgette.

[She is just absolutely lovable.]

Well, there you have it.

 

25
Aug
16

Zelda Cartoon Art Gallery

*****

Here is a collection or gallery of the works I composed while watching the end of the Rio Summer Olympics.  [Be sure to check out the other Zelda posts in my recent archive(s) for more Zelda compositions, valentines (eventually), Bomb Notes, etc.]

These first three were original pieces I did way back at the 15th anniversary of the original Legend of Zelda (NES).  Some of my first foray into digital art.

LegendofZelda-MoulinRougequote_ep-7-doppleganger-87_ap-1LegendofZelda-insurancespoof_ep-7-doppleganger-guesshedidnthaveStateFarm-130_ap-1LegendofZelda-highlanderquote_ep-7-doppleganger-dontmesswiththeoriginal-bitch-126_ap-1LegendofZelda-ep-13-themoblinsarerevolting-DVD-link-ferrisbuellerspeech_ap-2LegendofZelda-60sbatmanquote_ep-7-doppleganger-somedaysyoujustcantgetridofabomb-78_ap-2

The above are some TV/Movie quotes (some adapted to the cartoon).  Can you identify them?

———-

The following are misc. thoughts inspired by the images.

LegendofZelda_ay-oh-oh-ay_intro-excusemeprincess-13C_ap-2LegendofZelda_ciaobella-smooch_intro-excusemeprincess-13C_ap-1LegendofZelda-crackerjack_ep-7-doppleganger-8_ap-1LegendofZelda-goodsportsmanship_SMBSS-ep-TML-themissinglink-smack-8_ap-1LegendofZelda-goodtogo_ep3-whiteknight-link-Ivegotmyhat-Imgood-45_ap-1LegendofZelda-gumadspoof_ep-7-doppleganger-doubleyourpleasure-112_ap-1LegendofZelda-gutsywomenappreciation_ep-7-doppleganger-88_ap-1LegendofZelda-knockedyourswordoff-sexyposter_ep-7-doppleganger-35_ap-1LegendofZelda-oohthatsgottahurt-sexmishap_ep-7-doppleganger-129_ap-1


This next group contains song lyrics.

LegendofZelda-home-phillipphillipslyrics_ap-1LegendofZelda-onerepublic-countingstars-adapted_ep-7-doppleganger-23B_ap-1LegendofZelda-songlyric-helpfrommyfriends_ep3-whiteknight-link-consultsprite-navi-46_ap-1LegendofZelda-holygrail-jay-z-timberlake-adapted_ap-2LegendofZelda-domino-jessieJ-lyrics_fourpanels-ap-1


Next, a mock drug prescription ad… 

Followed by a State Fair Flyer…

LegendofZelda-hyrulianstatefair-pamphlet_ap-1

One spoof of the cartoon…

LegendofZelda-pizzaofwisdom_intro-thisisthetriforceofwisdom-orcourage-2_ap-2

That’s all for now.

21
Mar
16

Why Can’t Old TV Turn Into New Film?

*****

Have I asked this before?  Why IS it that shows we loved in the past cannot properly be converted to new films which respect the source material?

Why, instead, do we get Michael Bay films that blow it up and piss on people?

As I sit here watching an old episode of Inspector Gadget with a nephew, I see material ripe for a feature film with iconic costume design.  And then I remember the previous attempt at a film about the old cartoons.  It wasn’t all that great or memorable to me.  [Though I did like the gadget woman.]

What legal mumbo-jumbo prevents movie makers from properly converting older concepts into new film?  Or, why must every movie maker insist upon some measure of “artistic license” to warp what is already good and what fans liked?  We fans of the old don’t need a lot of new looks and ways of doing things.  If you must fix or change anything, just work on the bits that maybe don’t fit the present if it’s a story taking place in the present.  Or, set the story in the past.  Is that so hard?  Even a certain science fiction film series has gotten away with saying it’s from a distant galaxy a long time ago though it looks futuristic.

And, if it’s a matter of the original artists saying they don’t want the film to be made, then respect that.  If they don’t want a film, why is it okay to warp the original material enough to make a lousy one?

Anyone else care to share some thoughts on this matter?  I’m all ears…and busy fingers.

19
Mar
16

Educational Kids’ TV? Overrated

*****

As I attempt to watch one more day of “educational” kids TV with my nephews whilst keeping them busy (out of trouble), I am unable to resist the urge to fuss and fume.  Why?  Because every show is introduced with some sort of listed ingredients that are supposed to be good for a child.  As if parents are just going to approve the shows from this brief and horribly worthless synopsis?

  1. The educational content is lacking.
  2. Some of the shows are completely ridiculous/without good and/or common sense.

If anything, these shows are convincing me to NOT place a child in front of the TV.  But, juggling a handful of boys who all want to do different things at the same time and who will fight with each other if you don’t sit in the middle of them…is no easy task.  Sadly, it’s either TV or a laptop computer as a second babysitter.  And, it really grinds my gears.

If you’d like a list of shows I’d rather not see on television, just ask.  I don’t feel like pointing fingers publicly at the moment.  But, it may happen, yet.  I’m looking at YOU, Nick Jr. (among other channels).

30
Dec
15

I Love My Pill TV…NOT!

*****
If you live in the USA and are without cable TV, you might develop a case of BMO, bad medicine overload. Please continue to process the following statement while I flash a variety of unrelated happy images across the screen.

-Bad medicine overload strikes five out of five Americans who do not skip or are unable to flip channels when commercials for hazardous drugs prescribed by professionals begin.

-Bad medicine overload strikes these folks every five to seven minutes when a new commercial break is taken.

-Doctors who are not really doctors recommend hitting the Mute button when a commercial break starts to prevent such side-effects as: brain melt, loss of hearing, loss of sanity, coma of the eyes, paralysis of the bladder, raging mouth diarrhea and possibly death.

-If you or someone you know is struck with a case of BMO, don’t call your doctor. Turn off the TV, step outside and get some fresh air. Rekindle an old hobby. Put on some inspirational music. Pull the plug. Or, if necessary, dispose of the TV and never look at a newspaper advertisement or magazine, again. If you can do none of these, seek help from a friend, not a diploma or license to practice medicine/therapy.

atoughpilltoswallow-pillbottle-greenandwhitepills-writingbolt_ap-1

writingboltVStheworld_scottpilgrim-fastspace_apsample-1

02
Nov
15

The Moment Dark Shadows Took a Big Bite Out of My Weekend

*****

It was a lousy Halloween afternoon.  I didn’t mind the rainy weather, though it prevented me from going outside and decorating the driveway.  But, the company I was forced to keep was getting me down.  So, I retired to the dungeon and flipped through TV channels until I stumbled upon a show I told myself years ago I’d never watch.  Dark Shadows.  I had seen bits before and thought it was far too scary.  But, giving a few half-hour nuggets of hooooorribly dull and repetitive dialogue a chance, I discovered an entrancing soundtrack and an intriguing mystery with some great sets to boot. [Seriously, the show wastes so much time talking in circles; it takes ten episodes to complete a scene.  And, the monotonous introductions to each episode are just awful.]

I became consumed with interest late into the night when other channels failed to impress and my last minute pumpkin carving effort fell apart.  Still, I went to bed at a reasonable hour so I would not need a coffin.  And, come Sunday morning, I went back to that channel only to find the series starting over.  I thought I was getting close to the end of the series.  But, I missed it and then missed the introduction.  Oh well.  I am putting the series on my DVD wish list.  If I was a resident of Collinsport, I’d be pursuing all three of the lovely young women:  Victoria, Carolyn AND Maggie.  🙂

*********

But, wait.  There’s more.  In fact, looking at the DVD options, I see my viewing of the series was a deceptive reduction.  There is far more to the plot than what was aired in one weekend.  I seem to recall bits of interviews or some dedication TV special mentioning the very things I am finding now.  The series compiled over 1,200 episodes with many more characters and time-traveling plots that I did not come close to seeing.  Phew!  That’s a mind-bending train to chase.  I’d hate to bite off more than I can chew.  🙂




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