Posts Tagged ‘thoughts

18
Feb
20

Fear, a Personal Analysis of the Concept

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A wise man once said…

Fear is a reluctance to accept and learn from a possibility.

[This shall be a pooling place of thoughts and/or philosophy on the concept(s) of fear.]

Unlike denial, which is an absolute resistance to something being a possibility, fear acknowledges the possibility and responds with a frown of disapproval. If allowed to fester and grow, fear becomes a vile mold or weed that feeds off the energy that keeps its host active; it saps motivation and ambition. Some can dismiss nightmares in a short span of time; others remain troubled by them. And, still others may repeat the nightmare (in what is known as a “recurring nightmare”), similar to deja vu and a difficult reincarnation; some might say this is karma or learning a hard lesson while others would judge it as a reluctance to let go of a figment of the imagination. None of it is real…except to the one who experiences it and, perhaps, those who’ve already had the same or a similar experience.

In Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, when Luke Skywalker is told Darth Vader is his father, he scowls and squeals as he says this cannot be true. He is genuinely afraid of the possibility he does not want to accept. If Luke was purely brave, ignorant and/or unafraid, he would have kept a straight face and told Darth Vader to go stick his red lightsaber where the sun doesn’t shine. And, it wasn’t “the force” making Luke afraid, either, even if Darth Vader, with his oddly skull-like mask, can be a bit intimidating.

Some fears are common, easier to share and accept as real, fears of the dark, deadly creatures, clowns, heights, cramped spaces, etc. Others are more particular and personal, fears of threatening people we’ve met, fears of dogs after being attacked by one, fears of eating a certain food after someone tricked you with a tainted sample, fears of trusting certain merchants after being duped into buying something, fears of rape after being a victim.

In regards to the last example, a fear of rape may be common, experienced by many, but every individual experiences it a little differently based upon the type of person who assaulted them. Someone first raped by a family member will not be as wary of a stranger while the one raped on the street will not be as concerned about family assaulting them. Thus, one victim may not always be able to “relate” with another; there may be resistance to comforting each other from a shade of difference.

Some say fear is good; they claim you cannot know or feel courage without knowing fear. But, how courageous are they who are programmed to fear a “common enemy” and/or follow the orders of a commander without question? Are all soldiers brave? Are they not also afraid? Are some not more afraid than brave? Are the ones who are more brave than afraid also naive? How many truly know the enemy and the reasons to be afraid and/or brave? [Gee. That’s a lot of questions I just asked.]

Fear is often, not always, broken by experience. You’ll fear cutting yourself less once you’ve cut yourself enough times and learned how to tend the wounds…and you’ll eventually, hopefully, become wise enough to avoid repeating the mistakes.

[Let me just pause right there to mention……I am not talking about “cutter” cutting. I don’t mean people who cut themselves to bleed out the pain they think this act will relieve. That is a different psychological puzzle with traces of will in the mix. A person who cuts him or her self while tackling a task, cutting wood, working with metal, etc., may be cut and learn from the experience. An emotional and troubled “cutter” ignores the lesson in favor of a sensory experience, similar to how some people use sex for pleasure and forget the emotional relationship aspect which often translates into “making love.”]

Similarly, we become less afraid of monsters and “things that go bump in the night” when we walk enough dark corridors, get tired of mysterious sounds in the dark and watch enough scary movies to make us laugh at what some deem horror. There’s a word for that, a word some may have a tough time spelling. Fear loses its strength the more we become numb to it. And, once we are numb enough to the fear, we can and must then rise above it.

I keep thinking back to a TV movie I’ve watched a few times, Merlin. In that movie, the grand wizard-in-training dismisses his enemy by ignoring her, depriving her of the response and attention she demands. He says she will be forgotten when and if people turn away from her. How peaceful and poetic is that justice? He didn’t lay a hand on her. He didn’t fight her. He just walked away from the fight and let “the powers that be” sort everything out. Now, sure, if the gods were cruel, his enemy could have stabbed him in the back or moved the sorceress in front of him in a way that would make her a constant pest to his senses. But, that wasn’t how the story ended. In any case, Merlin’s example sheds light on how we must get past our fears…but only once we’ve conquered them. Without having a firm grip on ourselves and proving a fear no longer can hurt us, it remains with us like a difficult infection or disease.

From personal experience, I’ve been living with a number of fears. Some come with/from a lack of experience; I acknowledge that. Others come from experiences I refuse to repeat, even if a harsh higher power puts me right back in the pit with the troublemakers. Some would say I need to go to the sources of my fears, face them and get over the feelings. But, there are some “sources” facing would only agitate the feelings. And, yet, I am sure facing even those sources would have some positive effect, a thickening of the skin as all repeat experiences should have. [To each their own path to recovery.]

Just imagine having a fear for more than a decade…for more than a few decades…for as long as one has been a legal adult or even longer, in some cases.

As a kid, I had a fear of the dark. It wasn’t so tragic that I needed a light on at all times or a hand to guide me to the bathroom. But, it pecked at me for a while. Then, I stubbed my toes a few times and confronted shadows; I spent more and more time sitting in dark places when I didn’t want to face scary company my parents kept and when I didn’t want to put up with guests who smoked, drank and spoke aggressively. I grew a thick skin that still has a slight fear of what lurks in the dark; I still shudder, occasionally, when I let a possibility enter my mind.

The best remedy I can give for this sort of fear is to accept whatever comes; if you are meant to die from what troubles you in the dark, you will. And, you cannot avoid it. Luckily, I’d hope, anything lurking in the dark won’t have an effect on more important matters like personal long-term finances. So, you might get assaulted and robbed of SOME wealth; but you’ll live to bank another day.

I’ve also been a victim of bullies most of my life. Pick a decade, and I can describe a few pests who have jabbed me with needles of ridicule and intimidation. I can cover one hand with the number I’ve stared down and repelled by my own defiance. The other hand holds those who eluded my seemingly limited influence. I cannot deny the possibility another won’t appear. I must accept this and be prepared for it. I should not be or have to be troubled by the possibility, at my age. But, such is life, and, so far, life keeps throwing me rockheads. [Maybe that’s why I become so fascinated with Geodude in Pokemon games. It’s a sort of therapy for dealing with bullies.]

[This ties a bit into how I feel about “supporting the troops.” I hear countless pleas for donations and support for forces taking it upon themselves to root out “evil,” “enemies,” “disease” and “threats.” But, from my experiences with bullies–and my fair share of ailments–it’s hard for me to buy “bully insurance.” I recall some TV shows of my youth that offered such remedies; victims would be asked by brave bigger kids to pay for the services of a protector. But, what guarantee does this provide? The brave bigger kid is not always around when a bully decides to strike; he cannot be everywhere at once and has his own life to maintain. Just as soldiers have families and friends and duties placed upon them by their governments; they cannot spend all of their time and energy on confronting things that may go boom in the night.

A soldier, in my opinion, is called upon to deal with a warring threat. War calls, and the soldier answers. If there is no war–only a fear of war or violence–the soldier is facing a vague enemy and at risk of paranoia and its ugly cousins. A soldier riddled with fear and doubt is open to sneak attacks and confusion. A soldier with a set goal in mind and the preparation to deal with anything that crosses his/her path is more likely to succeed in his/her mission.

And, as a supporter of said soldier, if the objective of the soldier in need is not clear, donated resources are at risk of waste, just as some buy groceries to satisfy a possible need but then let the food rot as they become involved in other preoccupations.]

Now, I have spilled quite a load from my busy brain. I don’t know how to conclude. So, I will leave things as they lay and let readers do with my notions what they will. Discuss.

18
Feb
20

Humor, a Personal Analysis of the Concept

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A wise man once said…

Humor is a selective perspective.

[This shall be a pooling place of thoughts and/or philosophy on the concept(s) of humor.]

We laugh at what is either ridiculous or personally true within the limits of self-preservation. Some may be comfortable with self-ridicule, laughing at their own flaws and faults. Others more simply laugh at what they feel does not hurt them or give them reason to be concerned. And, yet others laugh at everything the first two branches of humanity cannot find amusing, repelling waves of tension, anxiety and fear.

Taking all of the above into account, I sort of pity those who choose comedy as a career path. Have I not seen enough movies and other shows in which jesters get “the hook” (or worse)? Have I not heard enough “starving artist” stories about comics who bemoan a hard life…after countless routines gabbing about how horrible the people in their lives are? Why does the jester get killed? Because his or her “royal audience” has a change of appetite and no longer is amused by what amused them yesterday……and the “royal audience” has a lack of mercy which compels them to dish out death instead of mild or moderate disapproval.

From personal experience, I’ve learned an audience–whether it’s an audience of one or thousands–will egg you on to talk more about whatever they deem amusing in the moment. But, eventually, the ability to amuse fades and the comic is left exposed to a sort of ill karma, retribution for turning acquaintances into enemies worth teasing.

Many love comics who get personal, who can speak of a loved one or fellow human being passed on the street in a harsh way. It’s almost a wicked sickness or trick of the mind brought upon by an evil spirit. Just as one may be encouraged to partake in a group crime like robbing a store or conning a “mark.” There’s thrill in the teamwork, but the prize–for those who haven’t lost their conscience–comes with some measure of regret, some reason to disapprove of what just happened, even if the crooks are presently caught up in the thrill of the chase.

You know the old saying…

Crime doesn’t pay.

Many criminals would laugh at this until they are sufficiently punished. Until they no longer get away with what comes easy to them, they won’t blink an eye of doubt. Crime, whether it’s emotional or financial, comes at a price. And, the price eventually impacts the criminal because the suffering of one spreads to others; and those others likely cross paths with the criminal who then experiences a shift in the success of his/her ambitions. The next “heist” may not be so profitable or the next “mark” might not fall as expected. There’s no reliability in crime, and there’s no reliability in humor.

Humor often is a crime of emotionally wounding another.

There’s a sick trend of getting more laughs from picking on your own family than current events. A comic known as Colbert presently spends most of his energy making jokes about President Trump, not about some more common experience we all might have or the general status of the world. Why? Surely, there are more things to joke about than one man with a bad spray tan and colored hair. But, he is prodded (by someone) to deliver this material every night to make his chicken feed, to fund his home and family. Tell us more lousy jokes about the fat, quasi-rich man’s physique and make fun of the way he talks, and I’ll put another coin in your hat, funny man. What a sad organ-grinder-monkey business that is. It’s no better than the child lured into the business of picking pockets.

And, with the crime of humor, when you’re not a jester being killed by your king/queen, comes the punishment of losing the audience or, worse, turning a portion of the audience into an enemy. [Unlike the pickpocket who, as long as they remain unseen, never becomes a target of personal threat.] Does a comic truly make a friend out of the victim of his or her jokes? I wonder. I may have dismissed those who made jokes about me. But, I cannot say I became good friends with the short-lived comics. And, if I made jokes about anyone, I didn’t see them wanting to remain close friends…just temporary audience members. I might as well be a bartender.

In politics, some would say televised debates don’t keep an audience’s attention if they don’t involve “mud slinging.” Just as some throw sex scenes into movies and TV shows to draw whistles and other animal sounds. It’s a form of temptation. And, temptation is rarely rewarded in a way that improves the quality of life. Temptation is equivalent to drinking alcohol; the effects are temporary and more often harmful.

Even the most self-assured can be wounded. So, why stab at them with every “zinger” you can imagine, expecting them to laugh? Pick the wrong note, and watch that smile wither and die. Why gamble with this?

Why does anyone pick comedy as a career path? Because they see no better option, like a drunkard who can only drown him or her self in intoxicating beverages until they puke their pain away, only to get a rude awakening, later. And, from recent cases I’ve observed, many comics are deeply troubled and only hiding behind a laugh. Fun for the audience who is blind to their pain. But, tragic for the comic. And, shame on the audience who ignores the troubles of the comics, who prod them for more reasons to laugh. If only we could all be amusing to lighten our own hearts and still help each other get through the difficulties life deals us, instead of buying temporary relief.

So, when you hear people say they favor a funny lover/life companion, maybe think twice about that before signing up for the position. Humor is subject to opinion/personal taste. And, humor is not eternal. It is far less eternal than love and devotion. Even a devoted comic cannot count on humor. Just as I, a devoted creative spirit cannot be expected to craft a masterpiece every time someone prods me to impress them with something from my mind, mouth and/or hands. The unseen forces of the financial world may treat us all like cattle, but we are not cows. We are humans. And, that’s not funny.

Now, I have spilled quite a load from my busy brain. I don’t know how to conclude. So, I will leave things as they lay and let readers do with my notions what they will. Discuss.

05
Feb
20

Harmonic Resonance, Your Personal Gravitational Field

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Have you ever wondered what draws two people together to become lovers or friends?

How do some people attract crowds of supporters or followers while others seem perpetually alone?

Do you believe opposites attract? Or, do you avoid opposites, knowing they only lead to trouble?

Some try to scrutinize the planets and stars for an explanation. Others analyze relationships with parents and spouses and charge a larger fee for their sporadic services. I am now inclined to think there is something deeper, more hidden and inexplicable at work. It’s like writing a book; instructors provide guidelines on what is proper, and then countless author’s ignore those guidelines to write the way they choose in that moment of inspiration. It’s a gravitational pull and resistance that eludes the confines of categories, houses and types. It’s HARMONIC RESONANCE.

Being that there is likely no math, science or pre-written logic to clearly define and/or explain it, one may think there isn’t much to say about this phenomenon. So, hopefully, I don’t talk “too long” and bore you to death. But, if you find yourself intrigued, that’s a positive resonance, an attraction to my words and energy. And, if you resist, if you feel agitated or bored with my words and/or “vibe,” that’s a negative reaction. Both are a form of harmonic resonance. It’s a cosmic secret like what you may refer to as God or the gods; if we fully understood it, we might exceed our human restraints. I do not expect myself to give you all the answers to the questions in your heads; but, perhaps, I can generate some insight or shine a light on what puzzles you.

Since 2001, I’ve been a casual student of astrology. And, while the science has its merits with generating some level of accurate predictions and sorting out relationship chemistry, there remain cases in which people either do not get sufficiently thorough readings or don’t seem to reach the predicted conclusion/goal. On a personal note, I do wonder why connecting with people of a certain sign (or signs, if you want to get technical with all the aspects of moon, ascendant and such) didn’t go as well as I expected. I did my own “math” and came up wrong; or, at least, the relationships ended and left me longing.

From my understanding of astrology, it’s so complex that even avid astrologers are continually analyzing charts to process details; it’s fed by information. Provided little information, the result is quite vague and likely to be inaccurate. Provided more information and plenty of time to consider variables, and you may get a more accurate prediction…but a precise result?

[If you look at the angle of this or the arrangement of those, you might figure out what went wrong. But, what if you don’t see all the angles? What if you assess the situation with only four variables when you could have used seven? Or, what if there is no possible human ability to process the situation?]

Like objects in space, each of us generates a sort of gravitational frequency or vibration. This frequency is affected by thought and emotion in a seemingly chaotic manner. There are thoughts and emotions that we generate and alter daily and others that have existed for some time which do not change easily. The former you might refer to as impulses. You feel like spoiling yourself today until someone you meet upsets your selfish, giddy mood. The latter are more like morals or personal limitations. No matter what Roger says to Bridget, she is not going to start smoking just to satisfy some whim of his. But, with progressive or traumatic influence, Bridget could still be driven to take up smoking or some equally addictive and potentially harmful habit.

Our impulses cause minor shifts in our harmonic resonance and can steer us away from what we desire in terms of long-term happiness. But, what may be defined as core values remain a more consistent, filtering force, rejecting whatever is deemed offensive or negative. And, even beyond that hard clay, which can still be shaped by impacts upon our lives, traumas and epiphanies, there are generators at work, creating frequencies that are uniquely our own. These generators are like fate, beyond our control. We can put all our energy into steering ourselves toward or away from someone or something, but, if it is already determined that we attract or repel that someone or something, our harmonic resonance will decide the outcome.

Positive result examples:

# A man and woman meet as kids, develop a sort of friendship, become separated by school and/or careers and yet manage to reconnect, decades later, and marry.

# Two other people become good young friends but become separated when one decides to marry someone else. After some time, the two old friends reunite and rediscover a spark which leads to the end of one marriage and the ceremony of another.

# Two people, seemingly trapped in an unfortunate situation caused by hazardous weather, discover a bond which blows their minds and leads to a lasting, loving relationship.

# A boy and girl meet in fifth grade, are quickly deemed “a couple” and remain together through their remaining school years and adulthood.

# A seemingly unqualified job applicant has an inexplicably positive effect upon the person hiring new employees. The applicant, despite logical reason to be rejected, gets the job. When asked by their boss, the HR person says they just had a really good feeling about the applicant. [And, a number of other applicants walk away wondering what they did wrong.]

Negative result examples:

# A man and woman get married (for whatever reason) and soon find themselves at odds with each other. Because they are loyal to their religions and under the scrutiny of family, they refuse to divorce/separate, even though there is no love in the relationship. They quarrel more than they enjoy time together. Every year, they just keep grinding against each other and enduring a cold, miserable existence.

# A boy, looking to make friends at school, is too shy to approach the kids he views as favorable. Instead, another boy, who is just as small, lanky and awkward as him, approaches and acts as if friendship is certain. But, the first boy quickly discovers a negative feeling in his gut from the visitor’s presence. Despite the former’s effort to elude the latter, the pestering presence remains for more years than the average human should have to endure.

# A girl, deemed pretty and inexplicably “popular,” draws a shallow circle of supporters, who quickly adapt their appearance and behavior to match their “master.” Another girl, who wishes to join the circle, is not given any satisfactory reason why she cannot and is repeatedly heckled until she develops a harmful habit. The “outsider” either tries to fit in (and still gets rejected) or does not change (and cannot understand why being herself isn’t adequate for being part of the group).

# A highly qualified person engages in a job interview with an exquisitely written resume. All conventional signs point to a guaranteed job offer. But, the HR person can’t shake an unpleasant feeling they have about the applicant; the latter walks away discouraged and confused.

Some say putting a smile on your face can improve what comes next. You’ll attract more friendly faces and willing subjects with that expression. You’ll ace the job interview if you add a firm handshake (and dress appropriately…and put a bunch of profit-inspiring numbers in your resume). But, what if you cannot put that smile upon your face because your mood is too “heavy?” What if you are capable of smiling but still do not reach a positive result? Was it something you ate? Your breath? Body odor?

It is possible odor–not necessarily an odor you can compare to laundry–plays a part in this resonant chemistry. I do think pheramones are a key part of harmonic resonance. But, they are like a spark or flame to a gas; they are a reaction of energies. The output stems from vibrations created by our personal generators. The car’s engine puts out heat and vapors, and the odor of those vapors, laced with chemicals from solutions in contact with the engine, elicit an agitated or pleased response from the humans that detect them. [And, with a certain combination of elements, those car emissions could produce hazardous sparks and/or fires.]

Pheramones are the solar flares of our metaphorical hearts. If you shield yourself from the sun’s rays, you may not feel its warmth or suffer any negative side effects, but you can still look out a window (or at a computer monitor, if that’s your way) and see that the sun is shining. Given adequate time and space, harmonic resonance exceeds man-made boundaries. But, regardless of boundaries, it exists.

I do believe studies that claim perfumes and colognes mask our pheramones, our natural essences that should attract favorable companionship. And, it makes more and more sense when you think about those artificial scents like alcoholic beverages. People drink to forget things and relieve tension; but the alteration of mindset then affects the responses they get from the people around them. Yet, some love drunks like sad puppies or stray kittens, while others avoid the pet store with firm conviction, certain they would not make a good care provider for such creatures (or simply unwilling to take up the responsibility).

If putting on perfume and cologne or drinking throws you into the path of people you don’t want to meet, why bother? Don’t you want to attract people that benefit you and who you may benefit in return?

In the deepest of truths, no matter what you do to yourself, harmonic resonance is the guiding force that will ensure a pleasing result is reached…or continually bother you until you get away from a negative, menacing energy. When we truly listen to our “guts,” harmonic resonance will decide who is favorable and who is to be rejected. Unfortunately, this seems to permit a number of misguided experiences to learn right from wrong (for some, anyway).

I’d compare this to planets, moons and other rocks in space orbitting and occasionally colliding. Does Jupiter willingly bring objects into and reject some from its orbit, or does its harmonic resonance exceed the power of will? Maybe Jupiter doesn’t enjoy the company of certain moons but is presently unable to shed them.

There is gravitational force at play, and, despite the predicted orbits and cycles, unexpected abnormalities occur. We may not look far enough ahead in our “calculations” to know when some clash will occur…or we just cannot predict one. But, there is one evident detail; there is a force at work, a force that can cause you to do a surprisingly good deed for some stranger or cause an unfortunate accident.

Our moods and actions (including dousing ourselves with artificial scents) may affect the outcomes of our resonance; we may miss meeting a good match or crash into a dozen bad ones because of what we’ve done to ourselves or how we let ourselves feel/think in the moment. If we foster a bitter or sad mood, we might miss an opportunity to meet a new friend. But, if a harmonic resonance exists and remains steady, we should be able to bypass any mental and emotional barriers to connect with the “right people.” And, given the right circumstances, harmonic resonance will filter out the negative, menacing, peace-depriving forces in our lives and surround us with positive, reassuring ones.

These questions remain for me. Is this harmonic resonance always positive/pleasing in its purpose? Are we “destined” to meet a positive end, even if unpleasant circumstances get in the way? Or, are some of us “fated” to live miserable lives while others prosper? If negative results are not in the nature of harmonic resonance, why do some seem to suffer most if not all of their lives? And, how does this energy impact the length of those lives? What if the life we know is service of some sort of punishment and harmonic resonance is the shackles?

I’d like to think harmonic resonance is a guiding light that can…will lead us to those other beings that satisfy our souls and cast out those who harm us. And, I’d like to believe I will, one day, find another–if not others–who resonate nicely with me and have a positive impact upon the world, the universe, I know. Or, rather, the union will either make a positive note in history books or more simply satisfy whatever longings I have (which cannot be reduced to just “sex” and consumption). I’ve experienced both positive and negative attractions and had mixed experiences…but nothing good that has lasted and satisfied my being; I haven’t “found my place.”

And, breathe.

So, what have I given you? More headaches or a refreshing perspective?


 

I meant to add another aspect when I first wrote this.

Have you ever encountered someone who is so much like you that others think you two should be friends/lovers…yet, when you think about that “match,” all you feel is animosity?  Could it be you and the “match” have a similar resonance?  That does not mean you two are compatible, unlike atoms of the same element.  [Are there elements that don’t bond atoms?]

But, what happens if the person you admire favors the “other you” or dislikes both people with the similar resonance?  Have you ever seen someone you like marry someone like you…who isn’t you?  [I’d say those are moments when you wish you didn’t know the truth…didn’t know the outcome.]

15
Jan
20

Writer’s Block 1-15-2020, NAME THAT GHOST!

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HELP!

I am in dire need of name suggestions for ghost characters, male and female.

Have at it.  Give me your best shots.  Any ideas?  I am bone dry.

If you were thinking Boo, Spooki, Haunter, Kooki, Specter, Mysteria or Lorelei, they’re taken…er, not an option.

03
Jan
20

Greek Mythology Biology; Concepts 1-3-2020

*****

Somehow, seeing the “last” Skywalker/Star Wars film has triggered a steaming train of thought about Greek mythology in me. [I could translate all of this into other mythologies, but Greek is what I tend to favor and what I’ve spent the most time researching.]

On a mildly chilly Monday morning, I find myself thinking about how the Greek gods fit into my being and how they could represent different parts of the mind and body. Not all of the gods, maybe. Just certain vital ones. But, we may yet work out places for all of them, though size/importance may vary.

Think about this. Let’s say…

Athena is the goddess of the logic center of the brain, one half of the brain in which we calculate the outcomes of our decisions, etc. That tends to be associated with a blue light; so we’ll say this is the blue half of the brain.

Ares is the god of the volatile emotional center of the brain, one half of the brain driven by impulse and outbursts, etc. That tends to be associated with a red light; so that’s the red half of the brain.

Ideally, when the two halves of the brain can find common ground and/or work together for a harmonious goal, there’s a rare purple…or…ultra-violet light. Hmm? [Ya see where this rainbow potential is going?]

Hermes is associated with quick, sharp wit, deceiving eyes, etc. Traits of a conman or thief as well as a shrewd businessman. He is also associated with speed and athleticism. So, let’s say he is given the face and a thin spinal cord trailing down to the legs, one half of the physical range of motion. And, we’ll give his parts a green light, though I’d rather associate green with creativity and growth.

Then you have Aphrodite, who represents the focus or attention to the vain and sexual parts of the body, the chest/front and sexual machinery. Since red and blue are taken, maybe we give her parts a purple or orange light.

Hephaestus commands the back and arms, sources of strength and physical labors, what he uses most in his creative endeavors. Let’s give those parts a yellow light, like the glowing molten metals he might use.

So, there you have, roughly, every part of the human body. But, who commands the internal organs? Who drives the stomach? Appetites? Ailments?

Well, Apollo is said to have some sway over both good and bad health (though some say Hermes carries a healing staff and abilities). And, Apollo’s sister, Artemis, is said to be the goddess of the hunt. What if Apollo was associated with the fate of the body and mind, the periods in which we feel fit or ill? But, where would you fit that into the body makeup, and what color would that get? And, Artemis could be the universal urge to pursue…anything that happens to be our personal desire. Maybe she represents desire, not hunting strictly as pursuit of wild prey you hunt with weapons. Maybe she represents hunger for food, companionship and/or children…even though she is noted as a virgin goddess who inspired the Amazons to resist–if not repel–men. What color would that be?

Then I got to thinking…what of the other well-known and, some, more…major “Olympian” gods? What of Zeus, Hera, Demeter (and Kore/Persephone), Poseidon and Hades?

Well, there’s a distinct relationship conflict between Hera and Zeus; he is often regarded as a free spirit who chases love interests and, thus, stirs Hera’s wrath. And, Hera is often regarded as a probing, overseeing disciplinarian type who tries to keep a tight leash on her husband/brother.

What if Zeus represented the impulsive, youthful side of the mind while Hera represented the responsible, adult side, the conscience? What colors would each of those receive?

Poseidon and Demeter, god of the seas and earthquakes and goddess of agriculture, don’t seem to fit any of this body analogy…

But, what if they did somehow hold influence over parts of the mind/body?

What if a god of the seas, which can be serene and beautiful one minute and terrifying and violent the next…would represent the driving force of emotions? I guess that puts him with or over Ares’ part of the brain. Maybe, there is an inexplicable complexity to the mind that provides portions to all of these deities.

And, Demeter? Well, what if she represents the growth/death cycles of the body, how the body shifts and responds differently with the changes of seasons? If you know her story, could she be “to blame” for those who experience weight gain in the summer and/or depression in winter? Could she affect shifts in appetite, how we might eat more during one season over another, sort of like how certain other animals feast before hibernation and endure starving a bit during warmer periods?

How does Demeter’s infamous daughter, the supposed goddess of spring (yet with a name that means “bringer of destruction?”…according to one author/artist I found), fit into all of this. Wait, do we need to go into everyone’s children, too? Maybe I could leave Apollo and Artemis out of this, considering they weren’t offspring of the “head Olympian” gods; they’re sort of step-siblings to Athena, Ares, Hephaestus and Hermes. And, even Aphrodite’s origins are debated. But, before I muddle all of this and vex myself…

I suppose we could say Demeter and Kore/Persephone might be two sides of the same coin, since they both hold sway over the seasons. Maybe, particularly in women, they represent the shifts between youth and adulthood.

What of Hades, then? A god of death…er, technically, the god that supervises the dead and makes some final decisions. Perhaps, in a sort of black light, he represents the fate of the human body, the ultimate end result, how you meet your demise. Just as every leaf from a tree decays its own way–even if certain types of leaves seem to decay identically–we may have a preset path to follow through the decay of our bodies. [Well, isn’t that a pleasant thought.]

Another possibility…maybe men fit certain gods into their makeup while women have a different set, a set of the goddesses. But, then, who would take Aphrodite’s place in the man’s body? Eros/Cupid? But…he’s more like a messenger–a Hermes or Apollo–of love/passion/beauty. And, what of the strength of women? Who takes Hephaestus’ place in the woman’s body?

Much to ponder. Not sure why this came to mind or where it is going, yet. In any case, ‘food for thought. Now, talk amongst yourselves. Discuss. [And, do not be hesitant to share your ideas for who fits where.]

—–

And, finally, I give you my personal Greek combination name, which would be Athermitestus, or Athermoditestus, or Athermodieaestus, combining Athena’s diplomatic intellect and reflex to design strategy, Hermes’ wit, potential for compulsion/deception and agile mind/spirit, Aphrodite’s interest in love- and passion-related matters (but not everything conventionally associated with passion) and Hephaestus’ craftsmanship, his passion for creating and strength of endurance, despite what he lacks physically from the Fates’–possibly–cruel choices. So, a blend of thinker/peacemaker, messenger/gamer, lover/romantic and semi-handicapped/”physically challenged” craftsman.

I’d throw in small hints of Apollo and/or Artemis, for various reasons, into the mix…and, if you coaxed me, I’d even try to work the other gods in, somehow…but that seems a tad complicated, even for my complex self. The other four just seem to be the dominant forces in me, aspects or “shades” I see in different lights as my thoughts shift. I am not entirely one or another, though I might favor Athena for certain aspects and be smitten with certain ideas of Aphrodite; it’s my whims and desires that plunge into the depths of the goddesses while my conscience points out the semi-good and bad aspects of me that are associated with the male deities.

27
Sep
19

Are You a True Friend/Ally or ‘Expectator’?

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ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!

This…is…Spart–  Oh, wait.  Wrong movie.  But, it did deliver the same impact-ful question/vibe.

Are you a spectator or the leading role receiving your fill of expectations?…or both?  Or, maybe you just don’t care, either way; your life is a combination of labor and minimal social entertainment, routine and not worth thinking on this level…you’re basically a pack animal.

I had this thought, this morning.  I have received plenty of expectations from people over my lifetime.  I’ve been told how smart and talented I am and what I should do with my life more often I can count.  But, I can probably count on my two hands how many “angels” I’ve met, people who really stepped up to be a friend…however tragically short that time with me was.

And, that, ladies and gents, and boys and girls of all ages, is what my life really boils down to…my productivity has been lacking due to a lack of support, acceptance and assistance.  If you get by without much of that, then maybe I’m just not like you.  Or, maybe you don’t realize what you have.  I know what I have…I just don’t feel it’s enough to make me live nearly up to the expectations I receive.  I live my life, feeling like a disappointment, no matter how I pitch myself…until I tell myself to turn a blind ear (and eye) to those who pitch expectations and just do my own thing…but doing my own thing hasn’t exactly been fruitful because it’s very lonely.

And, all introvert-ish thinking aside, all my ability to work alone and keep myself busy aside, I need people.  I need friends.  I need to know I am good in and out and acceptable, not just tell myself I am okay as I am.  It’s not superficial or looking in the wrong direction for emotional support.  I think it’s just (my) human nature showing its true colors.  But, lacking any adequate social skills, other than knowing how to speak bluntly (which isn’t always an asset…), and occasionally being a good listener (used to be more often, when I had more heart left to share)…I don’t see the means to bringing more people into my life.  And, what I keep finding isn’t filling the “job slots.”  I feel like I’m sitting in some tiny office, expected to hire a company full of subordinates, and I get no callbacks or resumes worth getting a response.  [If that makes sense; if it doesn’t I really don’t care much, anymore.  The old perfectionist, misunderstood me would be up in arms, right about now, tossing papers and fuming…and then collecting those papers because I was once a “neat freak.”]

It’s even more apparent when I try some online games…or, rather, games you can partake online (or offline) and have some kind of interaction…when there’s hardly any interaction.  Do I have to “add 100 friends” just to get a ding or a whoop?  Am I falling short by trying to pick a half-dozen people who I consider up to the task of being a cooperative player?…versus being one of the countless drones who just click LIKE and REPOST buttons in this blog-verse?  [I think, ever since I started bitching about the LIKE button, I’ve received far fewer LIKES; so add one more detail to the “this sucks” pile…not that I cared about LIKES…just, in a sad case when you get no other response…anyway.  Meh.]  Is it all just processing the day, or do people actually care about each other?  Are there ANY genuine friends in this world?  Or, do I just hear stories, like fiction on the wind?  Am I being teased with fantasy and lil wizards who have dead parents?…plenty of the convenient dead parent stories.

When I was a kid, I was “the quiet one.”  I didn’t have automatic friends show up looking for a pal.  I didn’t know how to interact with kids while staying as safe as all the adults wanted me to be.  I was afraid of getting hurt/hit; so sports and physical games were essentially out of play.  When I finally found a friend…and I am not sure how that even happened, other than two guys (and one rare girl) making some joke on the playground which broke the crucial ice…we had to talk the relationship over with our parents; I had to get an Okay to visit or have them visit me.  I had strict rules about phone calls that fluctuated daily, so I never knew where I stood; nor did the friend know how to deal with my parents.  It was a torture-some game of hit and miss time together.  So, to be fair, I couldn’t expect much.

But, there WAS that one girl…the diamond in the rough…who put up with it all and stuck by me.  And, though I didn’t actively support all of her interests…which made me a bit of a spectator but not an “expectator”…I felt I did a fair amount of being there for her…until peer pressure, I suspect, got the best of us.  Having to say, “We’re just…friends,” when your heart is saying “I love this girl, I think,” is rough.  And, the more I denied my feelings or slighted her, the worse I felt.  And, I think, deep down, she knew and felt something, too; or she was just the most loyal friend I’ve ever known.  And, we were not even in the same interest circles, other than maybe video games.  She didn’t draw.  And, I didn’t do gymnastics or think much of forestry…though I’ve grown to enjoy state parks and exploring nature.   But, we got along so well…and I adored her, madly.  She wasn’t the prettiest girl in the class, but she had more class than most; she earned my respect, and then some.  [I’m pretty sure I’ve written about her before; so I don’t want to repeat myself or go on too long about this.]

As I became a teen and adult, after a shocking sex-education class, I had far less luck with friendships and finding allies.  I had plenty of hecklers, jesters, shapeshifters and all-around-lackluster faces around me who had more fun being pests than anything friendly, especially if I didn’t approve of something they chose to do/say.   I get it…and it wasn’t exactly new to me…people changing and turning on me…but I was hoping ONE in the bunch might be as nice as that girl was.  Nope.

In the “working world,” I’ve grazed paths with pretty faces who just couldn’t find a way to fit and guys who’d rather talk sex, sports and music, of which I know less, I guess, and am not particularly into discussing.  I get a rare “We should do something together” offer which goes nowhere for whatever reason; either I can’t get ‘there’ (to where we are to meet) or the other person never follows through with an “Okay, let’s do this; when is best for both of us?”  I have gone on very few dates which all ended badly.  I’ve been a spectator to a number of sour relationships which usually involved quick sex I did not need to hear about the next day.  It’s not exactly a social-friendly atmosphere or sustaining life experience.  It kinda makes this rabbit want to eat in a different pasture; ya know?

And, breathe.  No mas.  ‘Kay?  That was a rather personal explosion and old would I just visited.

So, looking at yourself, on a regular basis, are you a spectator or avid ally/friend?

16
Sep
19

Who Was Forced Into This World at Birth?

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Just a quick/simple question…

Who here was a forced birth? When you were born, did your mother go into labor?…or was labor induced before you were plucked from the womb? And, did you suffer in any way from the forced birth?

[Okay; maybe not very simple.]

I ask because I was a forced birth. And, I was subject to some “birth defect” as a result. And, looking at how my life has unfolded and continues to unfold, I keep getting this rippling, echoing feeling like I should never have entered this world, or this dimension. [Yet, another part of me pulls me in a different direction and tells me I am here for some special purpose that is written in the numbers and stars. It’s an on-going game of tug-of-war inside me.]

Now, after you answer that question, if you care to walk with me, be warned. It gets a bit “heavy.” And, you may feel the ground crumble from under your feet.

As I touched on in a previous post, I see so much in this world/dimension that is wrong and conflicts with my spirit. I’ve endured so much “crap” and see plenty of others suffering even more, at least, in ways I don’t even want to imagine much less see. I see plenty of people living in delusional ways at great expense while plenty more unseen or badly rendered faces get dragged through messes with authorities and militaristic policing forces. And, I start to wonder if the stories we write, so many that have been “dystopian,” aren’t unfolding as we write them…or if certain stories written long ago, perhaps predicted by ancient people, aren’t weaving into existence.

I am divided between the world around me which lacks friendship, self-esteem, cooperation and a little discipline, which settles for and offers little for slavery, lacks glamor/style and divides people like cold fish in a processing plant…and the world I see on TV which is either on the verge of destruction, even total annihilation, or “living the high life” of risk, wealth, drugs, marriage and lust. I see dreamy possibilities but no real and/or pleasant path to achieving them…nor do I comprehend what I would do once I reached that dreamy plateau…which makes all creative efforts fairly worthless, like building a house of cards just to see it fall. If there is a way to reach the “golden city,” it seems paved with traps, deception and torture; is it any different than being lured into biting an apple from a tree you were warned to avoid?

And, while all of this–and more–passes through my mind, I am sure some may breeze by my words and shake their heads or laugh at their foolish nature. You may tell me all I have said makes no sense or isn’t true. But, maybe, that’s just how you perceive this world/life. And, maybe, we each experience it differently. Maybe, no matter how we connect, we are each experiencing this existence separately and only seeing virtual reactions from the bodies/minds around us…isn’t that a terrifying thought?

So far, my only “saving grace” has been to be mindful of the good stories from long ago, of figures like Jesus being of service to others. I tell myself to help others when and where I can; so even if the rest of this life sucks and the world goes up (or down) in flames tomorrow, I can die knowing I did some good.

But, even that feels somewhat sad and empty…or, rather, I feel sad and empty when my thoughts shift to what seems to be missing in this life…love and friendship…comfort and acceptance…being in tune with the natural world as nature intended and feeling the fullness of my spirit as it was created, not simply repeating the words of some fabricated religion, telling myself it will get better. Talk is cheap, as some say. And, I am growing tired of talking. My spirit burns and yearns for something greater. It wants to sink my toes in warm, wet sand and let the symphonies of crashing tides and whispering woods fill it to the brim of zen/blissful completion. But, if this world is so crappy…if everything is polluted and some risk to my being…why? Why do I burn this way inside? Is it a mad trick to torture me?…like dangling a carrot in front of a hungry horse?




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