Posts Tagged ‘status

14
Aug
19

The Older Man at the Dating Carnival

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So, there I was, a middle-aged man at what is essentially a carnival, surrounded by families, couples and a zoological encyclopedia of younger women often traveling in small packs like wild gazelles.

I found myself longing and looking at the young gazelles…and then feeling completely out of sorts and out of place. Had I indulged my youthful thoughts, I’d later admonish myself for acting like some pedophile. I look around, trying to spot the older cheetahs, the cougars and elephants…and I can’t see anything other than mothers, wives and grandmas. I feel completely out of place with attachment to nothing other than the family I accompany, and even that is sketchy attachment, like a loose tooth waiting to pop out of a kid’s mouth. I am adrift in the sea of human connectivity. And, being so lost, I had almost no interest in being among the crowd.

Part of me wanted to blink my eyes and storm right back to the car or even hike all the way home. Part of me was lingering like a child insistant on getting a balloon or toy before he goes home. I came to sample new foods and help my nephews have fun and be safe. I could only manage the babysitting duty. The food (and mingling, if I had that nerve) just couldn’t fit itself into my abilities; the heat and crowding didn’t help.

Some day, you’ll find me in a National Geographic special on human nature and see the lone, hungry outsider who can’t seem to find a mate or make many decisions. He will be tortured by constant references to Taylor Swift (whose name kept popping up at said carnival as if the phone was ringing for me to take some kind of action I did not know).
[What am I to do, Tay? They’re playing your song. They’re naming pigs after you. They have your “swag” for sale. The days of Hannah Montana and the first wave of Spice Girls didn’t generate as much attention. Suddenly, you’re everywhere…and I feel like I am nowhere. I don’t want a Taylor Swift sundae or Cotton Cand-Tay. I want to *savor* the real thing.]

Sorry, readers, for bringing her into yet another blog post. But, it happened for a reason. Of that, I am certain. I’m just not sure why.

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16
Jan
18

Untied Day: A NEW Holiday for Singles to Represent and Get to Know Each Other

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On February 21st, if you are single, widowed or recently divorced, feel free to celebrate…

UNTIED DAY
(c) (R) AP 2017

How many of you are single and sick of Valentine’s Day and its cousins, including Dragobete? How many of you are tired of worrying about what gift to get someone you like/love, what greeting card will make that someone happy or forgetting one more holiday date just to end up in the doghouse with your significant other? And, how many of you are walking around, looking for love but not keen on online dating sites or singles “bars?”

Wouldn’t you like to go out and know who is single, looking for love or interested in something else, just like you? Wouldn’t you like a sign that tells you more about the person you meet out there? Well, have I got the holiday cure for you.

On Untied Day, anyone who is without a paired heart on Valentine’s Day or a lock on Dragobete can be themselves and let others know a little (or a lot) about who they are. There is no need for worrying about getting a gift, how much you spend, forgetting something that happened one or fifty years ago or being late for a date.

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WHAT TO WEAR:

A) A loose tie or ribbon, draped loosely over the shoulders/around the neck. [IE An untied business tie for a man or a hair ribbon for a woman.] If you are capable of wearing more than one ribbon at a time (to display a variety of interests/opinions), more power to you.

AND/OR

B) An Untied Day shirt/patch** with the appropriate color(s).

AND/OR

C) Represent your personality/tastes/interests with accessories and/or color/pattern choices (or wear what you happen to have and take your chances on explaining to curious individuals why you dressed that way). You could even substitute an Untied Day shirt/patch** with one that features an image or message that represents you, something you may already have stashed away somewhere.

**Currently, there are none in print/production. So, for now, you can simply print/reproduce the logo (a ribbon fused with a dress tie in the shape of the letters UNT) at your own expense, provided you give credit to yours truly. [I did come up with the design and the holiday name, after all.] For now, the idea of the holiday may be nothing more than something “trending” if it will be. But, I aspire to fashion tees, hoodies, tanks, sleeveless turtlenecks and camisoles as well as a variety of patches/badges.

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Suggested accessory #1: If you want to go one step further, get yourself a good and sticky nametag (or, if you prefer, a pin-on, clip-on or magnetic type), one that either has the words or upon which you can write this message:

HI. I AM ____.

And, in that blank, I want you to put either your first name or a word that best describes you. [IE HI. I AM Fred. HI. I AM silly. HI. I AM frank. HI. I AM shy.] Just don’t put a word like “dependable” or “trustworthy” because you’d have to work harder than most to prove it.

Put the nametag on one side of your (Untied Day) shirt. If nothing else, it helps clarify your “untie” of choice.

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The following are suggestive color/pattern choices which you may apply to your choice of Untied accessories. The point is to represent yourself so you don’t have to explain everything to interested/potential mates. If you don’t agree with these explanations, feel free to explain yourself when approached/asked.

COLORS:

BLACK = Strictly business, not looking for romance/a relationship. You are single and okay with it. And, if you are looking for a partner, it’s only for business/work. You’re hiring.

WHITE = Virgin. [You gotta be quite brave to represent this, these days.]

BABY BLUE = You have a son or sons. [For greater accuracy, wear one logo for each child.]

PINK = You have a daughter or daughters. [For greater accuracy, wear one logo for each child.]

GREEN = Newly single; you just got out of a relationship or are new to dating. [Be sure to represent any other factor of that status, including past sexual relationships and children.]

BLUE (any pure blue other than baby blue) = A very emotional person; sensitive. Possibly coping with depression. A sign of caution to potential partners; you need to be handled with care. You might also be gentle with others.

RED = Aggressive; an avid hunter. You have limited patience and are not afraid to admit it. Stop. Don’t bother asking ME a question; I’ll come to you.

YELLOW = Cautious or too shy to say hi or ask someone out, at the moment. You need someone to approach you, first. [At least we know you’re not hostile or superficial. Right?]

ORANGE = The hands-on/tactile type who don’t mind getting their hands dirty. In terms of dating/relationships, you are someone who prefers holding hands, hugging and physically laboring to show you care. [Compare with PURPLE.]

PURPLE = The intellectual/intuitive type who like mental challenges and never stop being students of life. In terms of dating/relationships, you are someone who prefers heart-to-heart talks and thoughtful gifts that may not even be tangible (like planning a trip somewhere your partner longs to visit or frequents). [Compare with ORANGE.]

GRAY = Mysterious; you consider yourself a mystery, enjoy being one and/or like to explore mysteries where you find them. You like interrogation, both giving and receiving.

BROWN = Chocolate-lover. Quite simply, you are in need of the brown (or white) stuff and are letting others know what would put a smile on your face on a day like today when you don’t have someone to love (in place of chocolate). You don’t want to dwell on feelings, who’s happy together or who’s starved for love. You’re not seriously looking for companionship. Just give you some chocolate.

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COLOR COMBOS:

BLACK AND WHITE = Religious and/or marriage-minded. Religion is important to you.

RED, WHITE AND BLUE = Politically driven, patriotic or an activist. You support your nation’s government with pride.

RED AND BLACK CHECKERED = Lover of (board) games and puzzles.

HALF RED/HALF WHITE = You are in a medical field (of work), a surgeon, pharmacist, dentist, nurse, etc.

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PATTERNS (OF YOUR RIBBON/TIE AND/OR ACCESSORIES):

POLKA DOTS = Bubbly, lighthearted or having a good sense of humor. You occasionally clown around and can take a joke (about yourself). Humor is important to you.

STRIPES =
ONE STRIPE = You’ve had one previous sexual relationship (no longer a virgin).
TWO STRIPES OR MORE = You’ve had more than one sexual relationship.

HEARTS =
ONE HEART = Monogamous; you are seeking one partner for a lifetime.
TWO HEARTS OR MORE = Polygamous or open to unconventional relationships.

ANIMAL PRINT = Nature-lover and/or animal-lover. Pick a print that best fits your interest/personality, like a spirit animal. If you think of yourself as a tigress, wear a tiger stripe ribbon/tie. If you are chatty like a parrot, wear a tie/ribbon with a parrot face/profile. If you favor dogs over cats, wear a tie/ribbon that has (a) dog(s) on it.

STARS =
ONE STAR = Divorced/Separated.
TWO TO FIVE STARS = Divorced (#/multiple) times.
MANY (SMALL) STARS = An interest in astrology/astronomy and/or space exploration.

DOLLAR SIGNS =
ONE DOLLAR SIGN = Money-minded; you give great importance to a person’s income and how they spend/save it.
MULTIPLE DOLLAR SIGNS = You are rich and proud of it.

MASK(S) (THEATER, CARNIVAL OR HARLEQUIN) = An interest in role-play (not necessarily role-playing games, aka RPGs). You favor costume(s) (parties) and pretending to be other characters/creatures.

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WHAT TO DO/NOT DO ON UNTIED DAY:

DO:
1– Treat yourself to something you normally push aside because it’s not “frugal,” too flashy to wear most days, not the best use of your time or not the best for your “diet.” [But, see DO NOT #1.]

2– Represent yourself, your interests and/or personality (quirks) with what you wear.

3– Approach someone else dressed for this special day if you like or care to know more about what you see, knowing they are single/unattached like yourself. And, chat with that person, starting with some question or comment related to their chosen attire/accessories. It’s the best and fastest cure to being single/alone on a day like this.

4– Respect the interests of others dressed for this special day if they choose NOT to speak and/or be nice to you. Not everyone on such a singles day needs or wants to kindle a new relationship (with you). Mind your distance, be open to rejection and respect the color code (if the person uses the one I’ve provided). And, if you are approached but not interested in who approaches, respectfully let the person know.

5– Meet new singles in public, drug-free places. [IE A mall, a restaurant, a department store, your workplace or a dog park.]

 

DO NOT:
1– Spend more money today than absolutely necessary to please yourself or buy any material things (IE new clothes or jewelry). You should not be taking any financial risks on a day of love (other than missing a day of work, perhaps). You might know the old expression about money not being able to buy you happiness (or love). I personally do not like buying anything on my birthday; that’s a day for other people to treat ME (respectfully and/or kindly). Likewise…

2– Pretend to be someone or something you are not. Faking is dangerous and often cruel.

3– Assume what someone is wearing for this special day means what you think it does. [See DOs #3 and #4.]

4– Criticize or try to discourage anyone from dressing festively for this special day. You can spare one day from spreading your negativity. Can’t you? Ease up on the uniform policy; think of this as a casual (Fri)day.

5– Look for new partners at a bar or anywhere you might be less conscious of your actions (should you partake in drug use). DO NOT get drunk to loosen up or forget something/someone. You know you are not content with yourself if you do so; you only ignore your nerves/conscience that way. [Then again, this IS a singles day. So, if you fool around, you’ll likely get another chance to dress up next year. But, you might like yourself less.]

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There you have it. Now, get out there (or lounge where you may) and represent your single selves. Remember, this is a day to either be content with your single status–not pursue any new relations–or let others know who you are if they are seeking a partner. Be creative. Be happy. Be free. Be un-tied.

UntiedDay-explanationposter-2018-ap-900sq-1JUntiedDay-logo-2017_RBnW-color-splash-ad-2018_ap-CSPP-900sq-16J

 

[If you would like to be a part of an Untied Day creative committee, feel free to drop a letter in my mailbox. If approved, you can offer suggestions for improving the guidelines and partake in the production of Untied Day merchandise/apparel.]

 

*****A partner post to this one will be appearing, soon, including an assortment of first-draft Untied Day greeting cards and explanation ads/posters you may freely distribute to spread the word/idea (but don’t forget it is a Writingbolt/AP invention).*****

But, here are a few visuals to help “decode” my logo and provide some means of reproducing prints/coloring pages (so you can fashion your own T-shirts and such).

 

 

 




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