Posts Tagged ‘snow

10
Dec
16

Time to Put Out the Scaresnow, Again

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I’ve heard some unpleasant news about the upcoming weekend.  It couldn’t come at a worse time.  So, I’m bringing out the ol’ Scaresnow to keep things sunny, warm and dry.  Good thoughts…good thoughts…

 

03
Dec
16

Stocking Madness, Day 10

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Here comes the final big wave before St. Nick’s special day.  OMFCRAAAFTS!  HOLIDAY-DO-KEN!

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LEGNOG, FOOD AND DRINK

  1. Chocolate-covered Cherry
  2. Pizza
  3. Sugar Overload Gingerbread Cookie [See the other stocking posts for more cookie examples.]
  4. Peppermint Legnog/Cup of Good Cheer (Green Mug)
  5. Gummy Worms
  6. Chocolate-covered Strawberry
  7. Berries’n’Cream
  8. Strawberry
  9. Frothy Root Beer Mug (Glass)
  10. Peanut Butter Jar
  11. Jelly Jar
  12. Frothy Hot Cocoa (Peppermint Mug)
  13. Frothy Hot Cocoa (Ho Ho Ho Mug)
  14. Honey Pot
  15. Frothy Legnog (Metal Stein)
  16. Legnog (Glass Mug)

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THE TWELVE ODDITIES OF STOCKING SEASON 2016

  1. Pajama Foot (Man), Plain/Red Diamond Stitch, Holly Berry/Red Gingham and Argyle
  2. Christmas Angel (Woman)
  3.  Pajama Foot (woman), Holly Berry/Pink Plaid
  4. Ballerina (Pink)
  5. Ballerina (Red/Holly Berry)
  6. Polka Dot (Accordion) Footnote (Expandable/Musical; press note to hear music)
  7. Paper Lantern (Japanese Maple print; Note/Card attachment)
  8. Holiday Cast (for a suffering/sick friend)/Break a Leg (good theater luck wish)
  9. Grape Masher/Wine Maker (for those living in warm areas that may not get snow)
  10. Eternia Wizard/Orko (He-Man)
  11. Ballerina (Red/White/Legwarmer/Holly Berry)
  12. (Weiner) Dog Cozy

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28
Nov
16

Stocking Up on Holiday Art

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While I am busy in my elfin workshop with stocking/boot designs galore, I would also like to feature some of the general holiday art to leave my desk.  If you’re good kids, you’ll see more and find some in the Chat Cafe space all winter long.

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Princess Zelda bookmark

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Zelda and Link ornament, plain

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Zelda and Link ornament, snowy

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vinyl record

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cheerleader silhouette

Flourishing beauty

snow globe silhouette

30
Dec
15

Get Your SCARESNOW Today!

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The following is a paid advertisement provided by Writingbolt International.

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[In a normal American suburb, average schmo Pete smells something amiss while gray clouds move into the neighborhood one bitter winter afternoon.]

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Pete:  Hey!  Something’s burning!

[Pete runs down the street to his neighbor Jim’s house where what looks like a scarecrow has been set on fire.  Jim stands nearby with a can of gasoline and a fireplace wand.] 

Pete:  What do you call that thing, Jim? 

Jim:  Hey, Pete!  It’s my SCARESNOW!

Pete:  Your SCARESNOW? 

Jim:  Yeah!  Cuz I don’t want to see ANY of that white sh@! on the ground this year!

Pete:  Sounds good!  Where can I get one of those?

 

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Order now!  Writingbolt endorses but does not yet manufacture this product.  Supplies are limited and completely fictional.  Patent pending.

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30
Dec
15

You Wanna Know How Much I Hate Snow?

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You wanna know how much I hate snow?

How it makes travel, especially foot and road traffic perilous…even deadly?

How it turns into back-breaking cement and takes lives by heart attack?

How mean kids torture their prey by stuffing nonviolent faces into the icy crap?

How it can inflict pain and rash upon the skin, rivaled only by sunburn?

How it can freeze, bursting pipes and ravaging roads treated with salt?

So, to all you dreamers out there who think snow, the white reaper of winter, is the romantic cousin of a gentle spring rain, I’ve got one thing to say to you…

Get help.

Send help.

If you want to experience snow, take your chances traveling somewhere void of human life. Come prepared for anything. VISA might take you there, but it won’t get you out. And, good luck meeting a pretty yuki-onna while you’re lost in the blinding, freezing wilderness.

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12
Jan
15

Profound Thoughts: Snow

And now, it’s time for more Profound Thoughts with Writingbolt…

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Snow.
It’s a four-letter metaphor for travel.
It’s a pleasure, an invitation to play, when you’re with the right company.
And, it’s a miserable, unsettling, suffocating, discouraging, painful b!$ch when you’re not.

I guess it’s also a metaphor for relationships.

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15
Dec
14

What Is Christmas About? –Steve Martin SNL style–

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Looking at the pictures I find in my art scrapbook, a place where I go to drum up e-cards for those I meet and/or know online, I occasionally drift away with thoughts of jingle bells among other things. The holidays can be so commercial. And, I ask myself, “What is Christmas about?”

“Well,” I tell myself. “Christmas is about…”

The birth of the son of God, otherwise known as Jesus (for those who believe in the story). It’s his birthday above all else. Not the presents, shopping or Black Friday hype.

Ya know. Just thinking about Christmas conjures so many images! What would a winter holiday (for those who have it in winter) be without lovely women in cozy sweaters, sweater coats and festive sweatshirts you just want to cuddle til their arms fall off?! Oh, and all the stylish boots they have to pick from! So many boots.
So, Christmas is about beautiful women in cuddle-licious winter apparel…
And, the birthday of Jesus. Let’s not forget that.

But, I’m being self-centered. Maybe you don’t care for women in cozy-riffic winter apparel. Maybe you’re more interested in festive decor (indoors and/or outdoors): the trees, the lights, the candles, the artificial snow, the wreaths, the mistletoe, the stockings hung by the chimney with care, the coal, the chestnuts, the bells, the carolers, the lampposts, more artificial snow, the greeting cards from Christmases past and present, the fake presents, the birds and berries. Maybe you’d go so far as to wrap yourself in tinsel and hang ornaments from your ears! Hmm? Too much? What is too much, anyway?

So, Christmas is about decorating the house til your eyes bleed red, white and green. [Well, for those who decorate, anyway.]
Not for me. No. For me, it’s about all the beautiful women of the world in cuddle-uptuous winter apparel…
And, Jesus. It’s his birthday. Ya know? Show some respect. Don’t forget the Nativity set while you’re searching the attic, basement, garage and/or closets. That’s the most important piece, if you’re respecting the core of Christmas.

What about the kids and kids at heart? Maybe you’re the Kris-Kringle-coming-down-the-chimney-with-his-sack-of-goodies-to-grab-some-cookies-and-milk type. So, for you, Christmas is about a chubby bearded guy in a red and white suit coming to your homes to deliver presents before enjoying your holiday cookies with a cool glass of milk.

W-Wait. Didn’t I start this piece by mentioning jingle bells? And, what about snow? I know some of you down south might have your Christmas festivities in hot summer weather. But, I cannot imagine Christmas without jingling sleigh bells and gently falling snow covering the landscape in powdered sugar on a peaceful night. Just think of all the Christmas music people put out every year. Oh, my gosh! I forgot about caroling! ‘Can’t get enough versions of Deck the Halls and Jingle Bells; can we? Do you ever hear holiday carols with hot desert winds and seagulls squeaking over a swishing surf? [If you’re lucky, there might be one or two.]

So, if you forgot eeeeverything else: the women in winter apparel, the fat guy bringing you stuff down your chimney (or however he gets in there if you don’t have a chimney), the caroling, the cookies…and Jesus. Well, don’t forget him if you’re going to call it Christmas. But, Christmas is also about jingle bells on a sleigh swishing across a carpet of soft white snow on a silent starry night.

–Back off, Rudolph! You, too, Burl Ives snowman. I know. I’m sure I’ll get to you holiday movie icons soon enough. Go sit down with Ralphie, Charlie, Rex and Herb, Garfield and Clark. And, keep your hands off Mrs. Griswold.

…What were we talking about, again? My mind just drifted into this picture of a woman with lovely brown hair sitting in her cuddly white sweater coat while the snow gently falls outside her picture window. That’s what it’s all about, folks. Christmas is about women in cuddle-tastic winter apparel.

And, Jesus.

And, hot cocoa. Lots of hot cocoa.

Happy holidays from Writingbolt.




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