Posts Tagged ‘ring alternative

14
Sep
19

Wedding/Engagement Alternatives

*****

Wedding/Engagement brainstorm!

So, I’m half-asleep, watching one more lame late-night talk show; and I see Jennifer Lopez talking about her latest marriage/engagement to Alex Rodriguez. I’m thinking…this is what marriage for her? And, how many, like her, go through this rotating stomach turn fest of multiple marriages? And, how many jewelry companies dish out how many ads and how many rings priced how high for this mess?

No mas! ‘Kay?!

So, it hits me like a bullet train outta Tokyo. Bam!

Wedding rings. Wedding rings get bought and boxed. Then they sit in those boxes for a while until the guy proposes, when they go on women’s fingers during a very tense moment. Then those rings sit on the fingers of those women, anxiously waiting for the next step and the next ring, which gets placed on the same finger during a tense moment, in which so much is planned and expected to perform without error.

And then, more often than not, lately, an uncertain amount of time passes before…

The ring gets misplaced.

OR

The marriage grows stale and/or unveils faults which crumble the union, though the ring remains.

The ring goes on, but the marriage does not. Now, what sense does that make? I thought the ring meant never-ending love. So, now, I am inclined to think a wedding ring is a expensive lie and waste of resources.

[Besides, I cannot feel as passionately about a diamond ring as I would/should feel for any woman. I cannot pick out “the perfect ring” for the “perfect bride” if there is even the slightest chance those words will fall short one day. Nor am I a fan of rings, at all, and cannot see myself wearing and caring for one the rest of my life with anyone.]

So…what to do; what to do…

How can we replace something as iconic as the wedding ring? That’s like replacing Coke or Pepsi or the Big Mac. I mean, how can we replace something that has been pitched as essential for so long but isn’t exactly good for us in the long run?

Oh! I got it.

WEDDING WATCHES. ENGAGEMENT WATCHES.

If you’re snickering right now or thinking I am strange, go ahead. Laugh. Then think about this.

Most marriages I’ve encountered, on a level beyond the superficial, newfound happiness or obvious conflicts (IE parents who don’t like the man who has married their daughter and refuse to accept him as their son-in-law), reach a “rough patch.” Those that don’t are typically marriages without kids in which both partners have schedules in sync and they regularly travel or keep up the dating cycles to keep things fresh. That, I think, is a big key–or ring–many misplace or slight. When you tie yourself up with a family, mortage, car, etc., your mind and body get divided; you look at sex differently (especially if you don’t want more kids to throw off your balance…unless you’re those rabbits that can keep popping them out and don’t give a damn how big the farm gets, when you come from a dynasty). Even expenses take on a different light. You reach a stop light where you have to make some key decisions about your habits and/or future. [And, I am not even a licensed psychologist, people!]

Now, what happens when you buy a watch? Well, some go big and buy the expensive watch which costs more than it’s really worth; but some are built to last. Some go cheap and enjoy it as long as it lasts before it gets replaced or repaired.

Repaired. Ah. Lightbulb!

What is a married couple doing when they go to marriage counseling, as many do? They are attempting to repair the marriage…just like a watch! Well, not just like a watch. I mean, sure, there are metaphorical gears to re-align; but no physical metal parts (unless you’ve had a very unusual replacement surgery).

So, why not a pair of HIS and HERS watches, instead of wedding/engagement rings?

That way, when the watch needs a new battery, new wristband, new whatever, you do a marriage check-up (if not sooner). It’s an evaluation period; it’s a reminder to refresh, reset, renew, reboot, wind, unwind…get yourselves back into working order. Maybe a new battery means you need to renew vows or do something you haven’t done in a while. Maybe a new wristband means trying something new together or changing the way you do something that’s become a bad routine/habit.

I know, in this age of everything-on-one-small-screen-you-can-fit-in-that-larger-pocket-made-to-accommodate-those-not-too-small-small-screens, who wears watches, anymore? [Well, I do.] What time is it? Wait; let me open my purse or dig into my big back pocket and pull out my portable clock, or rectangular pocket watch-computer-coupon-book-flashlight-et-cetera. It’s a white rabbit age. Everyone’s late for an important date; and they’re all packing rectangular pocket watches.

But, some watches come with some nice little perks, like heart monitors and step counters, for you exercise-conscious folks who need to mind their shape (and diet). A watch can be an amazing companion, just like a loving spouse.

What does a ring do? Look pretty as long as its polished? Like wearing makeup or getting a spray tan? Hmm.

If you lose your spouse down a drain, did you leave her at some dive bar?

The watch can be just as perfect a choice, with more fashionable choices than I’ve seen for rings. And, it’s not guaranteed to last, to just exist perfectly on its own the way a ring is treated.

You see what I am saying? You buy into the rings and expect them to be there, like the marriage. But, the marriage can fall apart if you’re not regularly attending it. If you can’t attend a ring, if there’s nothing to attend, what good is it? And, how does it keep the union going? By remaining attached to your finger?

So, should married couples remain stitched together or holding hands? That’s not going to work. That’s not going to happen. And, from my limited experience with couples (as I’ve never been married, to tell the truth), no couple needs or should be together every minute of the day, of the week, month, year or decade.

You can keep a watch on as long as you want or take it off, just as you can wear or take off your ring. And, the watch is bound to need a tune-up, now and then. But, that’s okay. And, that’s good. Because you need to remember your marriage needs attending, even if you get divided by kids and all the other financial and social details that get in the way.

I wear a watch. I can do this. I will wear a marriage watch and take it off when I choose, if my lover will do the same. It does not mean we go about “fooling around” as some seem to give reason to removing their rings. Just because we don’t have our watches on doesn’t mean we are single.

So, sure, that may come up as a challenge or problem in social situations when someone sees no ring (or watch) and is inclined to press the question (are you married) or assume single status. But, that’s life. If a question can be asked, it will be, no matter if you’re wearing a significant ring or not. Heck, married folks worm their way into affairs without giving the ring a third thought. So what?

Wedding watches. Engagement watches. Pass it on. I think it’s just the new ring we’ve all been seeking. It’s time to give the old ways of marriage a fresh look and a check-up.

…….And, it all started with the Big Bang.

Why not take this one or more steps further? Why stop there?

Watches just aren’t your thing?

How about a wedding CAR for the couple that likes to take road trips? You propose at a garage, revealing the ride for your next adventure together (versus those car commercials for the well-ta-do family that buys every kid in their family a new car off the lot and tops it with a giant bow). Or, you drive to pick up your soon-to-be-spouse in the new car/vehicle and propose from atop the hood before driving off together to your next destination.

Or, if that’s too rich for your blood, how about a wedding BED? You welcome the soon-to-be-spouse into your soon-to-be-shared home and present the ultimate love nest in the room you share ONLY when you’re happy to share a room that way. [I have a whole thing and other posts about having separate bedrooms for most nights, to preserve the relationship by providing personal spaces/sanctuaries and not sleeping together when there’s a factor causing friction.] You could refresh the relationship every time you change the sheets, replace bedding or flip the mattress.

So, there are three grand ideas. And, I am sure these will help inspire others. There’s no limit to the possibilities…or none I can fit into my mind at the moment. And, if I think about it enough, this post will never reach its end.

Advertisements



Archives

Advertisements