Posts Tagged ‘repeat

18
Nov
16

No More Star Wars; I Think I’m Full

*****

“It’s the story of a young rebel being recruited to help steal the plans for the Death Star.”  Featuring Forest Whitaker and another brunette damsel in the lead role Carrie Fisher could have had; but it’s not Leia.**

Yep.  I think that about says it all.  I think I am done with the whole Star Wars craze.  Pack up my toys.  Put my plans for stormtrooper costumes away.  Burn my blueprints for any new plots.  Because they’re just going to up the budget, blow more money, make more excessive merchandise (including re-painted versions of the old merchandise in new packaging) and re-use what’s been done, anyway.  [There aren’t enough Native Americans to look at the landfill overflow and cry.]  The best any creative mind can do is post a poorly made independent film on some internet video showcase site and turn people away from what made theaters you sit with other people in great.

South Park, you got it right with your ‘member berry story.

The last “new” film made me angry.  Now I see the new one is one more Death Star story.  You end the empire only to reuse its parts, kill off my favorite rebel and throw in some stereotypical alien-looking Golem from the Lord of the Rings story as your big villain.  Now, you go back in time to tell the story of a girl doing what essentially Luke Skywalker did in Episode Four.  Way to break the gender glass ceiling.  Too bad Hillary didn’t get in office to enjoy it.  [Cool points to anyone who gets where I was going with that bit.]

In short, I am considering starting a rebellion of my own.  We can call it the Red __ (whatever number we assemble), the band of frustrated sci-fi fans who are seeing red under new leadership which smells no fresher than the old leadership.  We gotta fly our lil fighting-mad ships into that film studio HQ and blow something fierce up their womp-rat crap chutes.

Who’s with me?

 

**[I adore Felicity Jones…awlought.  However, no offense, but, Forest Whitaker–outside of his stellar role in the first Species film–seems to pick up roles in on-going franchises long after the parade has ended.  He seems to signal the final turn around the toilet bowl.]
12
Nov
15

The Shirley Zone…Submitted for Your Discussion

*****

Yesterday, I posted my “love letter” to Shirley MacLaine.  And, as I wrote it a few days ago, I found myself saying…I’ve done this before (again).  As I edited one bit just yesterday, I could predict a comment I would receive.

Then, last night, I watched Terms of Endearment for what I thought was the first time.  [I can’t recall ever seeing the film.  I just remember the award shows for that year when the cast was on stage.]  And, I heard this little voice saying…”Wanna watch it with us?”  Then my own little voice said, “No.  I don’t want to spoil my view of Shirley from her earlier work.”  And, then the first voice said, “Oooh.  I didn’t know you had an interest in her earlier work.  What is this fascination you have with her?”

And, though I heard these voices as the movie started, I sat through it, anyway. It wasn’t the worst thing she could have done.  But, for a character named Aurora, she looked anything but colorful.  It was a very raw, emotional and modern slice of problematic life.  She was at a pivotal moment in her real life and apparently working it out in this film.  I think age was getting to her; thus she aged herself a bit…or felt a need to “act her age.”  I suspect at this time or soon after she stopped joking around as much and took a new look at herself…or felt “desperate” to try some new things while still holding tight to the reins of selective control.

I gotta say…the movie makes me like John Lithgow and Danny DeVito less. Strangely, the film gave Jeff Daniels depth and didn’t make him appear so terrible to me for what he did.  What was more upsetting was Debra Winger not confessing her secret before the end.  Yet, I think, she did what she did to lessen the pain of what was to come.  But, what if what she suffered would have passed her by had she confessed to her hubby?

As for Jack…you know Jack…he is pretty much the same guy I like/dislike from his other films.  There is one scene in which Shirley invites his astronaut character into her bedroom to “see a painting.”  And, when he enters the house, he just looks so grubby and shady like a thief in the night without the cat burglar costume/skills.  His best moment–the lucky bastard–was groping Shirley at the beach.  I wanted her to rip his arm off! 😛

Getting back to Danny…who is he supposed to be??  He just pops up in a few scenes, not saying much but taking an interest in Shirley’s character.  Is he an old ogling friend?  A husband of a female friend?  It just irked me seeing him pop up.

Looking at the theatrical trailer, it was one of those lousy versions that shows a near-complete synopsis of the story, leaving out the tragedy at the end.  A hard sell.

Seeing Debra Winger yell at her kids reminded me of my family, one member in particular.  And, as I confronted that member today, she shared a shocking little moment she had yesterday which made her think of me.  The two ripples collided, leaving an unsettling feeling running through me to this moment…

I did not have an easy time getting to bed and now know I probably should not have watched that movie.  Yet, a tiny part of me thinks it was like a rock in the sea on a sailing voyage.  I could have avoided it if I listened to word of mouth.  But, I faced it and steered around it best I could.  How it will impact my voyage is yet to be seen….

Perhaps, in the Shirley Zone.

12
Oct
15

The Little Deja Vu Bell Tolls, Again and Again

*****

In the past few weeks…maybe two months?…I have been hearing the little deja vu bell, again.

I have been whipping up several designs for book covers and other projects with silhouettes.  And, certain ones just hit a certain note in my head, telling me I’ve made these before.  I can go so far into these thoughts that I hear and see a sibling talking to me about the files on my computer.  I am almost always in a position where I should be clearing space because the hard drive is too full.

So, I am thinking…are all these thoughts warning me of the near future?  Is it possible I am reliving a past version/lap of this life with better awareness of what’s ahead?  [I say this regardless of any previous mention.]

But, as I sit here now, going through some scrolls of blog posts, I find myself thinking about a particularly Halloween-y image I made yesterday and how vividly I can see my sister and I looking at it, wondering what good it will do.

Some days, it makes me want to cry or scream in a mad fit.  What is this I am experiencing?  And, what good will it do me?  [Or, what harm could it do?]  Some days I heed the warnings.  And, others, I question my sanity.

30
Dec
14

Psychic Log 12-19-2014, A Repeating Artwork/Image

Psychic Log 12-19-2014

I needed to draw up a quick sketch of a giant monster to grasp the dimensions I needed for a scene in my latest book. The drawing came together rather quickly and effortlessly (as did the domain of the monster which struck a few familiar bells as I wrote in the details). Then, upon completion, I felt that all too familiar queasiness ripple through me not just once but twice. I had drawn this image at least twice before this night. I recalled speaking with a young coworker about it and seeing his usual blank/confusing reaction (as if he didn’t hear what I said/couldn’t see the picture). But, I can see him clear as day in my mind and hear myself explaining this to him.

This has to be something other than a psychic prediction because I no longer work with this guy. So, what am I seeing/experiencing? [As for the second time I drew this image, my recollection is much less clear. I simply recall saying to the young coworker that I had drawn this same image once before.]

01
Jul
14

We Come in Peace-suit of Taking Your Planet

We’re pursuing space exploration and migration…er, domination of other worlds (like the very aliens we’re told to fear in movies) yet we don’t have ideal control of/peace on our own present home world. What sense does this make?

When we think of air travel these days, we run into little warnings of immunizations and all sorts of other concerns we should take before venturing even on what is supposed to be a pleasant but temporary holiday/vacation. Why do I get the feeling there are far less concerns about venturing into deep space and recreating the Native American massacre and/or African enslavement just for the satisfaction of some restless humans with a closet case of claustrophobia? I’m not entirely content with what’s going on here on Earth, myself. But, I don’t think it’s at all wise or sensible to just start pouring all this money and resources into chasing a hoop dream on some other planet which is surely occupied by those content to have a planet without invaders.

Most importantly we must NOT repeat our past mistakes (as mentioned above if you missed them). Otherwise, our disgusting aspects won’t just be an Earth problem/bad memory. They’ll be a galactic one. I, for one, have no desire to live out the clone wars, the dawn of the terminator/machine or any number of dystopian/bleak/frightening possibilities our strange minds invent. And, I’d rather interact with other species peacefully. But, presently, humanity is unable to do that as the dominant species of this world.

Let’s clean up our mess and make what we have liveable. When that happens, I’m sure other space travelers who aren’t hampered by past vices will be happy to greet and interact with us. Or, we’ll avoid bringing our diseases–hopefully–to other worlds.

What about you, reader? What’s your take on this?

06
Jan
14

Looking for “Repeaters” Like Me

I am just about at wit’s end with something verging on either intense deja vu or psychic ability and am wondering if anyone else out there is experiencing the same “phenomena”.  Surely, I cannot be the only one.  Can I?

Here’s the story.  For about the past three to five years, I’ve been doing, saying and/or drawing things that suddenly trigger “memories” of another time when I did the same.  From customers/tasks at work…to creative projects/drawings/computer videos I assembled…to words with family.  I hear and see “echoes”.  Sometimes, I hear my family criticizing me.  But, they’re not present when I am doing whatever presently.

Recently, I drew a poster/picture and saw myself at an art show with my father and someone scrutinizing my art…but it wasn’t necessarily my art.  It might have been the other person’s artwork, and my father and I were the ones studying it, saying I could have done that.  But, it’s a very familiar picture.  Except, I don’t know this til I start drawing it.  This happened at least five times while starting “new” pictures.  Each time I thought I was trying something new.  Then, I’d sketch a portion and flash “back” to another place and time.  I can remember being in a tough spot with family coming to clear out the room…and I go through these drawings.  Some are inked.  Some are not.  Just as I see them now.

I write emails, and the moment I send them, I see the response (but there is no response…yet).  I can hear myself discussing my discouragement from the response with my sister.

I’ve asked people before about this with great trepidation of being written off as a loon.  My family isn’t the best source of comfort/counsel.  And, just about anyone else I’ve asked doesn’t know what to say, either.

I asked if I should repeat the action or go a different direction.  One person said to go along with the same action.  And, as I said about drawing, I thought I was trying something new until it felt familiar.  But, the other direction led me to another familiar point.

There are philosophies and videos/stories out there that might touch on this…
Religions that speak of reincarnation…
Scientific theories of parallel universes…
Movies like “Groundhog Day” where the man repeats the same day until he “gets it right”…
And, recently, a book by Kate Atkinson called “Life After Life:  A Novel” depicts a woman reliving a life over and over through war times…

I’ve found a few sources that mention how the universe speaks to us, giving us signals and signs we might not always see.  But, the purpose of this “repeating” has yet to be clear to me.  The only thing I can guess is the universe is trying to tell me I am going down the wrong path.  But, if that’s true, then every “direction” I’ve picked thus far is wrong.  I’m not doing what I should be.

Well, that’s fine.  But, must everything I do with my time feel wrong?  Can’t I feel good about SOMETHING?  Because, so far, I don’t really feel good about anything.  Nothing present, anyway.  I don’t feel in control.  I don’t feel stable.  I don’t care what people say about the need to be or appear confident.  I won’t fake what I lack.  Confidence comes with success.  I feel short on successes.

I can remember childhood moments that felt good.  But, much of that period of my life is a blur, too, blanking out bits about family pushing me aside to chat with each other, leaving me to keep myself busy doing things I’d find senseless or boring now.

I hate to waste.  I hate to waste time.  I hate to waste paper and cling to art supplies, hoping whatever they are used for is something great and appreciated.  I don’t like hearing people say they’re “killing” time.  I don’t like expending time and/or energy on people who won’t work with or listen to me and respond fairly.  I don’t like making mistakes.  Period.

I realize my life has been a bit…different…from the “norm”.  And, I won’t likely go into many details about my past or present.  But, perhaps this is a symptom of being “sheltered” a bit…of being solitary so long that my mind has developed this way.  And, no, I don’t think it’s “crazy” of me.  I take this seriously.

So, do you, dear reader, experience or know someone who experiences these “echoes”?  I’d like to know your story/viewpoint.




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