Posts Tagged ‘profound

18
May
15

Profound Thoughts: Orally Questionable

And, now it’s time for another edition of Profound Thoughts with Writingbolt…

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If a tree fires its seed into your mouth, does that count as oral sex?

I don’t think it does.  But, I sure feel violated.

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06
May
15

Profound Thoughts: Hash This

And now, it’s time for another edition of Profound Thoughts with Writingbolt…

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I’m thinking of starting a new blog.  I’ll TAG it “TWIT with HASH” so I can freely show off my PERISCOPE for everyone to GO-OGLE instead of their ‘TUBES.  Then no one will have their FACE stuck in a BOOK, ever again.  Have I KINDLE-d your P-INTEREST, yet?

Next, I will print my ZAZZLE-ing YAHOO and Most Scandalous Nonsense on multiple forms made in China for pennies and let them TUMBL’ onto doorsteps.  It’s that ETSY!

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[If you have any other “app”/internet lingo you think I could/should add to this piece, feel free to suggest it.  And, if I approve, I will add your contribution.]

20
Apr
15

Profound Thoughts: Beauty and the Lyrics

And now, it’s time for more Profound Thoughts with Writingbolt…

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You know what song seems to stick with me when thinking about finding genuine happiness in love and friendship? That 1992 animated title song, “Beauty and the Be–”

I love most of the lyrics but am not so fond of the title/one chorus line.

Why does the guy have to be a monster? I mean…I get it. It’s part of the story, the lesson. But, the song would be so much more universal if it didn’t pigeon-hole the guy as something quite possibly vile and dangerous.

Of course, what’s in a name? Maybe, for some, a bea– is not such a bad thing. Some might even say it’s a sexy, masculine term. Ooh, he’s such a b’ in bed!

Of course, some women say they like the “bad boy” or the guy who “lives dangerously.” But, that’s a fleeting feeling for another post.

I will try to think of a better word to finish the line. What about “beauty and the gentleman”? Or, “beauty and her man”?

Of course, none of those rhyme with “least.” Why did they have to pick that word? Because it was probably the only thing they could think of–other than yeast–to rhyme with the title. And, what would they do with yeast? The only thing that comes to mind…is a rather unpleasant female problem.

So, how about this? “Beauty and Her Man-Feast.” Yes. That sounds better. Don’t you think? Come and get your man-feast on. Bon appetite, ladies.

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12
Jan
15

Profound Thoughts: I Choose Neither

And now, it’s time for more Profound Thoughts with Writingbolt…

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If my only options are “reckless and stupid” or “suicidal,” I choose neither…

…You know, til I feel reckless and stupid on the verge of suicidal.

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12
Jan
15

Profound Thoughts: Do Not Give “Her” a Name

And now, it’s time for more Profound Thoughts with Writingbolt…

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I imagine meeting someone like George Clooney and having a discussion about love and his recent marriage. And, I can hear him telling me, a guy who has yet to come close to any relationship remotely resembling marriage, to go out and find my Amal.

Considering he went as long as he did as a bachelor after a broken marriage left him numb…and the odds of a long, successful/happy marriage in the modern world…there’s one thing I’d have to tell him.

Do not give “her” a name.

Imagine if you met a married someone who told you the same. What if–dare I say it–something unpleasant were to happen to their “one true” love? Does that then mean that your “friend” wanted you to meet/marry someone who would leave you?

You know what I’d say to that? Thanks a lot, you jerk! What kind of crap speech is that?

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12
Jan
15

Profound Thoughts: Snow

And now, it’s time for more Profound Thoughts with Writingbolt…

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Snow.
It’s a four-letter metaphor for travel.
It’s a pleasure, an invitation to play, when you’re with the right company.
And, it’s a miserable, unsettling, suffocating, discouraging, painful b!$ch when you’re not.

I guess it’s also a metaphor for relationships.

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06
Jan
15

Profound Thoughts: Am I Pimping My Fantasies?

And now, it’s time for another addition of Profound Thoughts with Writingbolt…

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I find myself writing similar stories…
About guys like me at different ages…
And the girls/women with whom I dream about sharing intimate moments…

But, as I ponder the possibility of being published…
I wonder…
If I put my fantasies up for sale…
Am I a pimp making money off my “ladies?”

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