Posts Tagged ‘profile


More Honey Love


Back on my Cutey Honey kick, I composed a side-by-side anime-like image of myself with the lovely Honey Kisaragi from the 1990s OVA mini-series.

This then motivated me to turn a pair of dancing silhouettes into a related image which spawned a variation of old prose.  You know that bit that goes something like…

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways…

And, here are the varieties of love that came to my mind.

And, I’ll throw in a variation of one just for good measure (because I really like the idea of making a mess with chocolate or mud for some reason).   Note how I worked in Honey’s go-go boots, dress and hairstyle, along with the rose which is used at times as the weapon of Sister Jill.


A quick, off-the-cuff explanation of each image…

Types of love:

@ Starry-Eyed Love: A) When you fall madly infatuated with a celebrity, imagining yourself embracing that person. B) When you see stars (struggle to see) after kissing someone, letting you know this person is someone special (or just a really good kisser). C) When you fall madly in love with someone’s first appearance and lose awareness of your surroundings.

@ Radiant Love: When you see and/or feel a light growing around you and the one(s) you love, filling you with *comforting* warmth.

@ Steamy Love: When intensely interacting with the one(s) you love makes you sweat; when sexual chemistry between lovers singes the skin.

@ Bubbly Love: When you feel like kissing someone and laughing/smiling at the same time; love that makes you undeniably giddy.

@ Messy Love: When you don’t care what happens to your appearance or surroundings while physically expressing your love, literally getting messy in the process.

@ Flowery Love: When you shower the one(s) you love with romantic/affectionate favors and/or gestures, often letting others know about the relationship. [IE Sending someone flowers at their workplace where every coworker and boss can see them.]

@ Smotherly Love: When you hold the one(s) you love prisoner while expressing your love, keeping them (and yourself) from completing daily tasks and interacting with others.

@ Energizing Love: When sharing an intimate moment with someone gives you either a jolt or an abundance of energy, capable of rejuvenating skin, hair, etc; when a kiss gives you that special spark.

@ Group Love: Polygamous love; when you love more than one person at a time and do not want any love interest to feel slighted, dividing your attention to each, adequately.




Short Story Writing Challenge: Tell-Tale Silhouettes



I had the impulse to craft some Carmen-Sandiego-ish, Dick-Tracy-ish silhouettes one day. Here is a sampler.

I propose a small creative writing challenge to those who happen to stop by this post. Can you conceive a short story that takes our female detective/explorer from the first image on the left to the last image on the right? Where did she go that day? What happened along the way? And, what did she discover at the end?

Place your (very) short story here in the comment section. [You won’t be glared at for writing a long one, either.]


Free Pervert Profiling


Setting: We open with an elated young woman (May) joining a female friend (June) for lunch at a small restaurant. [Insert an assortment of clinking plates and silverware.] The latter waits at a small round table for two and gets up to embrace her friend as she approaches with good news practically exploding from her artificially white smile.

[May is a humble gal dressed in a wooly coat adorned with a scarf she knitted herself. Her flats are weathered from plenty of walking and catching buses. June has sold her soul for a bigger salary; thus she is dressed in the latest fashions which cost a fortune but will be completely worthless in less than five years.]

June: So? Tell me. What’s got you so excited this morning?

May: I just found me the perfect boyfriend. He’s the complete package.

Both women take their seats. A waitress appears to collect initial orders for coffee and appetizers. Throwing the departing waitress a casual glance, June returns her full attention to May.

June (whispering): May. There is no such thing as a perfect boyfriend.

May: I beg to differ, June. This one is. I know it.

June: And, have you done a background check on him, yet?

May: What?! I-I’m not that kind of gal. I trust my gut.

June: Well, you can trust your gut to the bank. But, you’re a fool if you don’t, at least, do a quick search online. Just go to and get your free pervert profile. Input everything you think you know about the guy. A trusted professional will do the rest. In no time at all, you’ll know just how perfect this guy really is.”

May removes a surprisingly expensive-looking “smartphone” from her knitted handbag and brings up a search engine.

May: Just go to, ay?

June: It’s totally free. Try it.

May pretends to input what she knows about her new boyfriend in a matter of seconds…because the commercial will end in less than thirty seconds. Upon seeing a discouraging message on a flashing red screen, May sulks.

May: I guess you were right. He’s far from perfect.

June: See? You owe me one.

May: What do I owe ya?

June: For starters, you can buy me lunch. Just kidding. You’re poor.

Both women laugh in a muffled, corny, TV sitcom way as the image freezes.

Announcer: Don’t date Mr. Wrong. Go to and get your free background check, today.

Disclaimer: The image seen on May’s phone is not what you actually see upon inputing data. The previously mentioned website has no information to provide other than what visitors give to it. Thus, your attempts at a background check may result in a 404 apology. There are no trustworthy professionals here. We don’t know the meaning of those words because the majority of our employees don’t even speak English. We are not responsible for your absent-minded use of the internet. All sorts of message and data usage fees will be levied just for fun and profit. But, we will avoid legal action by creating a charity and writing everything off during tax season.


About Me Sites/Pages disabled/deleted? Whaaa?


Is it just something wrong with my computer, or are people really deleting their “websites” here?  I click on a profile “title,” and a screen pops up saying that “site” has been discontinued/deleted…yet the person still functions and posts on this site.  They still have a “blog roll” and archives…but no home page?  How does that work?  Color me technologically confuzzled.  Help me out, web heads.



Single and Looking Blogging Male; Just Putting It Out There


For those who may come across this and take interest in knowing the writer, this is both a detailed profile (Me) and list of aspects in women I seek (You). It is but the scraping of the surface. I won’t expose anything so personal that would be unwise to shout to the whole restaurant or nightclub. You may dig deeper by contacting me when you desire it.

For those who look to mock or chide me or see me as a “freak”, save your keystrokes and gossip. It will do your karma good.




I’m not a school boy anymore. Nor am I requiring medication to keep me going. Does that about sum it up? 🙂 Think you have it figured out? You might be surprised. Try studying my About Me page. With “eyes and brains” you might figure it out. Want the specifics? So do I. Contact me if interested in the rest, and we can exchange.


I believe there is a “God” though I cannot be certain of a name. I take religion seriously though I currently do not attend services/mass regularly. I was raised with very strict morals which I have upheld a long time. But, I don’t speak of it casually/regularly or press it upon others often. I honestly wish for whoever I let into my trust to be mutually accepting of our chosen faith paths and not let religion stand in the way of love. [I’ll go into more detail in the YOU section.]


I don’t give a rat’s behind about politics other than the necessity for government/order that’s fair to all and not invasive. I do not stand by red or blue. I am not patriotic. I question authority and the media. I want the truth from the person’s face in my presence (not on TV).


I would describe myself (without the typical exaggerations men would “confidently” display to draw you away from their imperfections) as AVERAGE HEIGHT (under 6 ft., not quite as tall as your “bouncer” ex who could fit you in his t-shirt) and SLIM with strong ATHLETIC legs (I like to hike) and arms. I wear GLASSES for distance (near-sighted) which make me look smarter than I probably am. [You decide for yourself how smart I really am.] Most say my EYES AND LIPS are my best features. [You’ll just have to find out for yourself.] I also have long FINGERS which are adept at massages and artistic pursuits. Some call them “piano fingers”. My Polish-Italian (more “Polish” than Italian simply because my branch lacks any of the culture one would desire) family was not blessed with the finest HAIR. Mine is fairly thin and affected by stress as well as a history of conditions I’ve had to endure. If push comes to shove, I may yet shave my head bald. But, I’d like to keep my head covered. I won’t fake it or inject anything into my scalp.

I typically DRESS CASUAL for COMFORT. I don’t care for dressing up unless it’s for a night of romantic dancing or a dinner party/wedding (which is not usually my cup of tea). Dating advice experts and fashion divas be gone. I don’t date like I am applying for a job. I am home in my sweats, t-shirts and jeans. I don’t care to spend hours in front of a mirror or with a dozen products on the bathroom counter. I am a “get up with the sun and go” kind of guy. If you like the FIREMAN type, I’m your guy (sans the typical fireman build). My work wardrobe may vary. But, if you want to be with me at my best, you’ll like/accept me in athletic apparel or jeans (shorts) and a t-shirt with sneakers. I prefer to dress in NEUTRAL colors (brown/gray/black) with splashes of green, purple and red.


[Now here’s something you don’t see every day.] I would say my voice CHANGES with my MOOD. If I am nervous, it rises. If I am calm or occasionally confident/daring, it lowers. I have two laughs. One is shrill and silly like a Batman villain. It comes most easily. The other is brief, deep and occasionally loud. It is rare to hear this one. Who do I sound like? I couldn’t tell you. Do I have an accent? Sure, if you’re not from my area:) But, it’s not exactly a cultural one.


You may see me as a comedian or clown. You may see me as the sensitive/touchy and quiet genius. Neither of you would be completely right. I am COMPLICATED. Deal with it. I can be chatty one moment and silent the next.

Temperament: I occasionally have a sharp tongue. But, I prefer to think I SPEAK SOFTLY, HONESTLY and with considerable DEPTH of thought. I don’t always think first. But, I also don’t avoid thinking completely before, during or after. I get angry often but not for long. My TEMPER erupts and fades quickly. However, if you cross the same line enough times, it develops a scar of distrust. I don’t pick a fight often. I usually have the fight brought to me and am forced to defend myself. But, if I am not pleased with something I see/hear, I have a tendency to snap. Again, this comes and goes quickly. I have no interest in making scenes or engaging in lengthy battles. And, I never resort to dangerous levels of violence. [Which is partly why I don’t drink or do drugs of any kind.] I am not opposed to hitting someone with my hand or foot. But, I am not inclined to use a weapon except in self-defense. [I don’t own any weapons except my hands, feet and mouth/mind.]

Social: I consider myself RECEPTIVE to others even if I start out BASHFUL/APPREHENSIVE/CAUTIOUS. I need more “ice breakers”. I need someone to often initiate or give me something to start a conversation. I do NOT like talking about myself (though it may appear that way to some here as I try to describe myself sufficiently and effectively). Unless you open the door for me (so to speak), you’ll find me the QUIET one in a corner looking on from afar. I’ll be studying you and those around you, looking…waiting for the “right time” to approach. I won’t be drinking to loosen myself up. I’ll be the SOBER one with a soda, tea, juice or water in his sweaty hand and a red face (unless you keep me up after midnight). If there are too many strangers in the room, I’ll be outside.

I’d rather “fist bump” a total stranger than shake hands. I am not a total “germaphobe”, but I do get a bit OC when disturbed/bothered/scared or don’t know someone well enough. I am less concerned with women and germs than I am men.

Romance/Intimacy/Dating/Relationships: I’ll say it once and then again. I don’t care much for dating rules. I don’t set or follow them unless you discuss them with me first. Don’t expect me to know what’s “cool” or “normal” in your world. I particularly do not like rules about sex on a particular date or women who obsess about sex over everything else. Any mention of the former will put me off almost completely. Not because I demand sex. I most certainly do not expect it or force a woman into such a situation. I don’t discuss sex casually (normally). Nor do I engage in it “socially”. It shouldn’t come before romance, understanding and communication. It is the pinnacle of a connection. Not a sport or hobby.

If you’d like to know my preferences (and this is getting personal): 1) I–under no circumstances–approve of public and oral sex. If you are putting your mouth down there, you are not kissing my lips…ever. I do not need to taste anyone’s reproductive matter or pubic hair. Nor do I care to have the neighbors or some total stranger see us together. 2) I am a man of touch. If I accept you into my trust, I accept your touch. And, I expect you to be the same with me touching you. If you don’t like/want it, don’t let me do it to you. Make your preferences known. I love playing with hair…caressing various body parts…cuddling…pressing chests together…kissing without bending my neck*…interlocking fingers…and hugs of all sorts. 3) I am all for protecting oneself. But, I am not entirely confident in condoms or birth control. I do not like women popping pills or injecting themselves with drugs that might have unpleasant or even harmful side effects. I would rather practice alternative/safe sex to share intimate pleasures than risk harm to anyone’s health or an unwanted pregnancy. 4) Costumes/Role play in good taste are/is approved. I’m not fond of most ridiculously slutty/tacky costumes you get in sizes too small from a cheesy costume shop. You can do wonders with everyday clothes and accessories. I don’t expect to write a play before being intimate. I just like the idea of coming home to/to the bedroom with a character. 5) Setting is key. Candles and flower petals. ‘Love them. Asian paper lanterns are nice, too. Likewise, thunderstorms and running water. Nature sounds are often a nice backdrop alternative to heavy/lyrical music. Being close to nature without bugs or other critters invading our privacy. A private spot on a beach or in the woods would be great. 6) I am not opposed to bisexual women. Nor am I opposed to (though I don’t have any personal experience with) threesomes/foursomes (but that’s the limit) with other women (no other men) provided every participant approves of each other. Now, there may be some speculation in how this works. But, I’ll leave that to private discussion. If a woman I consider my intimate partner has an interest in another woman, I am open to discussing sharing intimacies (but not insisting upon any of this). The only reason I approve of this is because of my understanding of “boredom” or “lacking satisfaction” in a monogamous bedroom. I do not want my partner sleeping with other men. But, she is relatively free to “experiment” with other women without my concern. 7) I don’t like the idea of “friends with benefits” when it’s a woman and a man who are both seeking a serious relationship with partners of the opposite sex. If a “friend” of the woman I am with is a woman, that’s fine. But, no male FWBs. [And, for anyone concerned, I would not expect to be permitted a female FWB that wasn’t included in a more open/triangular relationship.] I have no desire for or interest in secretive affairs. Every interaction should be made known and agreed upon “at the table”.

I try to be FAIR as an EQUAL/PARTNER. If there is something I or you don’t know how to do (better), I want the knowledgeable person to help/teach the less educated. I am not a handyman. I am not an expert on sports, politics, finances or fashion. I don’t cook all that well, yet. I dread paperwork. I don’t mind washing dishes or doing laundry. I will vacuum and dust if it gets out of hand. I want us to work together and communicate openly/honestly.

I like to please a woman. Her pleasure is often my pleasure. I don’t put myself above her (unless I am confident my abilities or efforts outweigh hers). But, if she starts to assert herself like an Amazon warrior/feminist, I will put her in her place. She is my muse if not a “goddess”. I don’t spoil or pamper her often. I am not her personal bodyguard at all times. I can’t stop every bullet. But, I do like to honor and treat her well when she pleases me. I never want her to be unhappy for long. Her mood affects my mood. I grant her private space/time as I require for myself. I want to draw/paint/sculpt her (and hopefully she will reciprocate with her own creative talents). I like to shoulder her tears and make her smile. I like to learn her preferences and try to adapt.

[All of the above–regarding intimacy/romance–I want to see in return. I do not like giving without sufficient receiving. Especially in regards to kissing. A woman who can initiate a kiss with proper timing is a winner. If it feels like I am making all of the effort and/or always initiating, I will begin to isolate myself more.]

Still, I may sometimes sound demanding or mean when I see or hear something I don’t like. I may struggle with compromise. I am a perfectionist by my upbringing.

I can seem a bit tight with my money. I have never felt I had enough to spend carelessly. And, I’ve made more than enough foolish purchases in my lifetime. I am not the type who tips big and spends lavishly on his “date”. If you’re looking for a free trip/meal, look elsewhere. I am not saying I won’t treat when the mood strikes. But, I am not some old-fashion macho man who has to pay for everything and who insists the woman be an obedient homemaker/parent.

Nature: I am a natural THERAPIST/psychologist. I like to ANALYZE and speculate. I might surprise you with some of the things I say out of the blue. I may be a bit PSYCHIC subconsciously. I am a fair DETECTIVE. You might also be surprised how you find yourself telling me more than I care to hear while I remain relatively mum. It comes with the territory (astrology). Thus, if I like you, I’ll gladly shoulder your tears and try to make you feel better. I’ll help you find options for your problems. I’ll point out your faults and your assets. But, I won’t sit still for stories about exes or bad flings for long. I have little experience to share. And, often, such stories just have a negative effect upon me. [I also don’t ever want to hear I have the same name, astrological sign or look of an ex.]

I like pets. I have my preferences. But, I don’t think they are necessary. Like flowers, I prefer to appreciate them in nature than in cages or on leashes. If I could have one grand pet, I’d like a Bengal tiger or giant snake.

I am generally CAUTIOUS and CALCULATING. I tend to get overwhelmed (and preoccupied) easily. I’m not the best at making decisions on the fly. I don’t take many risks. I don’t usually dance in public. I am not much of a party host/guest but could probably put together a layout/decor for one well. But, I have my ADVENTUROUS moments. Having a general confidence in the safety and success of something is key.

I am an EMOTIONAL guy who tries to hide it well. But, honesty compels me to cry and expose my feelings. I am “thin-skinned”. I am not the tough guy who snaps at people expressing their feelings and eats rocks for breakfast. Sometimes my emotions override my PRACTICAL side. Sometimes I flee a scene to avoid an emotional eruption. But, I cannot cry in private/alone well. I prefer to have a shoulder.

All of the above personality traits may likely be adapted/altered with time, patience and sufficient love and support. Like any plant, I (and you) need proper care and the right environment to grow.


I come from a relatively small branch of the family which has isolated itself sadly from the rest of the clan. Some make relationship choices based upon family behavior. Well, I can tell you I do NOT get along well with my parents and siblings. Think of that what you will. But, after growing up with my family always correcting and picking at me over every little thing, violating my privacy whenever I am not at home and generally expecting me to be their superstar, I have lost my deepest love for them. Now, it’s more of a tolerance that keeps us relatively civil. I was what you might call “sheltered” and on a short leash when it came to friends/romantic interests. My family never had “the talk” and never seems open to discuss such things. Thus, much is left bottled inside until I find someone I trust with my depths.

I once aspired to have as many as two kids of my own. I no longer require/desire this as strongly. If I am so fortunate yet as to find myself ready for such a task/responsibility, I will discuss it with my partner. Otherwise, I am perfectly content to have her as my only family and travel the world together (without worrying about the safety and happiness of children in tow). I would never be able to handle more than two kids, though.


ART [I draw and dabble in all sorts of crafts, but I appreciate most forms/styles. I am a proficient/accurate creative WRITER/editor. But, I stick to fantasy fiction (with pinches of romance/erotica and comedy/humor) and have lost interest in poetry. My “artistic eye” is far better than my own talents. I like to build/assemble things.]
MUSIC [I would like to at least learn guitar, yet. I miss singing (and have my reasons for not). I have a diverse/select interest in: rock, classical/instrumental, cultural, alternative…generally anything but country, gospel/Christian and rap/hip hop.]
MOVIES [Some day I’d still like to make a few movies (with a proper crew/team). But, in terms of viewing, I generally like sci-fi, action, fantasy, romance/romantic comedy, comedy and animated films of various kinds. Probably the only types I have next to no tolerance for are horror and “teenie bopper”/musician films.]
FASHION [I like to think I have an “eye” for this, as well as art in general. I just can’t find many articles of clothing I care to wear with confidence or pleasure. Women have it sooo much easier. And, I tend to enjoy shopping for clothes with women…within a reasonable frame of time and respect for my opinions:) I just might surprise you with piecing an outfit for you together.]
INTERIOR DECORATING [Give me a theme you desire, and I can probably whip something up in a jiffy. This does not mean I keep my own creative spaces looking like any theme you may prefer:) A cluttered mind, as they say…]
MYTHOLOGY [Particularly Greek and Asian.]
ASTROLOGY [It’s not my religion. It’s not evil. It’s not something I discuss every day. But, I do have a keen interest in it. I view it as a way of understanding people. Not a means of predicting the future. For starters, I was born a Sagittarius (technically the recently re-discovered 13th sign, the snake-bearing healer).]
TRAVEL [I have plenty of interest and little of resources/company to go all the places I envision. Unlike those who thoroughly enjoy solo travel, I prefer to have pleasant company.]
HIKING/NATURE [It’s food for my soul to walk among the trees (outside of allergy season).]
DINOSAURS/ANCIENT RUINS/ALIENS [Ever since I started drawing dinosaurs at age 5. I’m kinda like Indiana Jones except I fear bugs more than snakes and couldn’t use a whip properly if I tried. I liked the Star Wars movies for their array of alien characters. The stories were not nearly as interesting.]
SUPERHEROES/COMICS/CARTOONS [I never really played with my toys as a kid. I treasured them. I don’t have a vast collection of comic books, but I like to read some and appreciate the work of a good comic artist immensely.]
VIDEO GAMES [From Atari to modern arcades.]
OTHER GAMES/PUZZLES [Chess, crosswords, jigsaw puzzles, mystery games, Pictionary, musical chairs, charades, scavenger hunts, etc.]
COSTUMES/COSTUME PARTIES [Superheroes, ancient Greece, the Renaissance, feudal Japan, space aliens/astronauts and/or forest creatures are preferred themes.]
BEACH COMBING/ACTIVITIES [Collecting seashells/rocks, playing in the sand, etc. Similarly, I like scavenge hunting in the woods for leaves, feathers, etc.]
MAKING PRESENTS/GIFTS [Get me into an art/craft supply store and watch me go nuts. Seriously. Hold me back. I often make my own greeting/birthday cards.]


I am relatively open to various cultures/types of food. I’ll try just about anything. But, I will not likely eat any bugs, intestines, testicles, tongues, brains…basically anything I generally view as gross or questionable. I’ve tried frog legs. I did not like them. I do, however, enjoy most seafood, including: crab legs, lobster, shrimp, clams/oysters properly cooked and calamari. My favorite foods are pepperoni pizza with “the works”, spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, mangoes and chocolate pudding. [I have an interest in chocolate pudding that verges on a fetish.] I presently have no food allergies. I have contemplated becoming a vegetarian. But, since I don’t often or sufficiently cook for myself, it’s hard getting by on simple raw veggie/fruit dishes. With a good cook as a partner, I may yet adapt. Until then, I like my hamburger, lunch meats and pepperoni. I can live without meats on the bone.

BAD HABITS: [Here’s another one you won’t likely see on your typical dating profile and be shocked to learn later. But, let’s be honest.]

I don’t drink (beyond the occasional single martini or glass of wine), smoke or use any drugs to adjust my mood/body. But, I do pick my cuticles when I’m uneasy. I pick my nose and the wax from my ears (though I prefer to do this privately). I sometimes pick at myself in the mirror (which is partly why I don’t care to spend too much time in front of one). I can become a bit obsessive about some things (like conquering video games or washing clothes/dishes/hands). I can get/be a bit lax with hygiene (in part because I am more of a “low-maintenance” guy). I have my reasons.

Want to know more? Do you care more about my job/work, car/transportation and/or one’s house/apartment? What topic/aspect have I missed? Ask. Contact me.


Why Am I Posting/Looking Here?

First and foremost, I consider myself an unusual, perpetually single heterosexual guy. At least, I haven’t found another guy like me with which I care to associate myself. This is not as much a rebellious choice as it is simply an observation. Please understand this comes with occasional humor, sarcasm, cynicism and/or pessimism. You might see this as negative/unattractive. I see this as honest. If you prefer exaggeration and lies, continue saying yes to the bad boys, drug addicts and smooth talkers.

I hate pick-up lines and common/modern dating practices. I don’t go with the flow. I technically have zero friends, no inner or casual circle with which I “hang out” or speak regularly. I am terrible at mingling in a crowded place. I am lost in the woods, looking for a direction right for me.

Second, I know this isn’t an internet dating site. I don’t feel anymore comfortable at a site designated for comparing dates than I do entering a bar of guys ogling a few women. I am generally intimidated by women (for a few reasons) and male competition. And, sometimes I scare people without understanding why.

I don’t want to be afraid or discouraged by a misguided attempt/approach without a “wingman”. Men come in beer-guzzling wolf packs and cross-town rivalries, pushing each other around to get their prize to the bedroom. Women come armed with female friends or massively selective egos. Women can turn to their “sisters” for emotional support or to cut a guy off at his genitals before he knows what’s happening.

Online, I see how women receive dozens of “letters” from men seeking their attention, and the women can simply brush them off or filter through them like junk mail. Do the men have this liberty? Do women line up at a man’s door and let him pick them off one by one? I highly doubt it. I’ve dabbled. I was disappointed with the results. I am not comfortable with this. Everyone is supposed to be good for someone. Or, is there actually a subspecies–unfit to be coupled–destined to rot like bad apples alone?

Some even have family on their side. I don’t have these luxuries. I can’t recall the last time I could talk freely with anyone and feel completely at ease with myself.

Here is about as unusual as any to assert my “single and looking” status; no? I can assert myself here as well as any other website; right? It’s not like anyone puts that much personal info out for the public eye to see on their profiles. It’s all stored in some dating database and used to track/direct prospects to the right person/s with mixed results. So, why not mix it up somewhere different? I could put this on my About Me page. But, I will give this post a try, first. Consider this a free opportunity to meet someone instead of paying $30 a month.