Posts Tagged ‘performance


Who Makes a Better Jerrica Benton?


Who makes a better Jerrica Benton, from the 1980s Jem cartoon, if she was converted into a better live-action movie figure than the poor attempt made a few years ago? Taylor Swift or her “bad blood” rival Katy Perry?

Isn’t it ironic those two would even suggest such a thing as bad blood between them? Which only emphasizes my question and thoughts on the matter.

Now, you take Tay Swift. She’s got the height. She’s got the grace. She’s got blonde hair, even if it’s not that pale, buttery blonde Jerrica sports. But, if I had to pick a singer to match up with Jerrica Benton, in terms of behavior and appearance, I’d favor Taylor Swift. Jerrica’s wardrobe/style suits Tay. And, you see how Tay likes to fly around the world doing good deeds, sort of like Jerrica always looking for some charity to support. [While Katy is better known for kissing just about every guy you’d think was unworthy of her.]

…Then you listen to some of Katy Perry’s songs on One of the Boys album. And, I kid you not; she sounds like Jem’s singing voice (which, if you didn’t know, was not the same voice used for Jem/Jerrica dialogue). Not to mention, some of the songs would rock a Jem movie soundtrack. I get little glimpses of the Jem cartoon opening blended with a sort of music video when I listen to Katy sing. And, if you look at the piece of photo-manipulation I recently made, you can see how Katy’s face matches up with the Jerrica doll box art; I didn’t have to do much to make a photo fit. [With a rare photo of Taylor Swift that was lit well enough to fit the cartoon image on the right, I still had to do some airbrushing and blending to make the two work together.] But…Katy is a bit moody and reckless, at times, which reminds me of Pizzazz from the Misfits. [Jerrica would never pierce her nose. But, Pizzazz might…and Katy has worn a–bleh.]

So, what I am thinking…is maybe Tay plays Jerrica/Jem, and Katy plays Pizzazz. Tay has the natural beauty, grace and gentle demeanor. But…Katy has the right vocals for Jem’s singing voice, can probably rock any makeup combo a Jem character requires and morph her whole appearance to match…

Urgh. What do you think?whomakesabetterjerrricabenton-taylorswift-or-katyperry-looks-versus-vocals_jem-photo-fusion-ap-CSPP-1


Applaud AFTER the Performance, Talk-Show Morons


Have I mentioned how stupid talk shows (and a certain “celebrity dancing” show) can be…when they interrupt musical performances with injected “audience participation?”

Particularly “late night” talk shows that terribly interview a dwindling number of guests before featuring some musical performance which rarely gets the respect it deserves. And, that’s saying something when you see a very…unique band perform on a show hosted by a guy in a suit and tie, giving the *impression* that the show is “straight-laced.” [In other words, a screeching rock or rap group makes a white guy turn blinding-ly white in less than two minutes, and that’s not a good thing.]

But, what I am particularly bothered by at this moment is how a singer or band performs…with lousy accoustics…only to be blind-sided by a blast of applause and/or cheering, as if the staff of the show are flashing their APPLAUSE signs during the performances. If that’s what is really going on, I cannot get mad or nauseous enough to express my feelings. That is just insanely stupid. That’s like making-a-naked-dash-into-fire or shouting-in-a-library-while-standing-beside-a-sign-that-requests-silence…stupid.

Have you ever seen a musical and heard people applaud WHILE someone is singing? I could understand if it was a Whitney Houston moment and the performer hit some particular high or long note to show off. But, during some un-exceptional portion of the song?…just out-of-the-blue applause? Ridiculous.

If some holiday carolers came to my front door and started singing Silent Night, I don’t want a mob of spectators suddenly applauding during the chorus. I want to hear the performers sing.

I’m looking at you, Jimmy Corden, with your improvisational pot-baked band and excessively “touchy” interaction with guests. I’ve stopped watching most musical performances because of this problem.  [Hiii, Hagar.  🙂  You’re still okay in my book.]

I first noticed the problem with Dancing with the Stars, the modern replacement for that 1980s fad, Circus of the Stars (and its “battle” cousins), a poor attempt to put lesser-and-lesser known faces in the spotlight (until it’s no longer the stars but everyday people looking to learn how to dance on the show, like a televised dance class, if they got a fair chance to learn instead of boasting a grueling schedule littered with injuries/sickness and “drama” before leaving way too soon to make any decent lesson stick) from the ABC branch of the Disney Empire/Monopoly, a show that deserves an award for its lighting effects more than any other contribution.

Whether its during a 2-minute (or less) dance or some guest singer’s performance, there will be some oddly timed reaction from the audience. AND, IT’S SO ANNOYING!

So, if you are so fortunate to get some “free” tickets to any of these glitzy, Disney spare-no-expense (Jurassic Park reference) shows…and you see some flashing sign or feel a cattle prod under your seat pushing you to applaud or cheer, check yourself. And, if it’s not even you making the noise…if that’s some recording playing over the performance…feel sorry for yourselves.

And, shame on you, networks, for airing that crap, for contributing to the pollution of performers just trying to get some exposure. You are one Impractical Joker away from pooping in public and getting some of that crap on your own faces. You are worse than a flatulant rubber balloon or an electronic fart simulator.

Now, excuse me while I go wash the filth from my mouth. I feel like a disgusting James Brown without my cape. I feel…not good.


Perform Yourself! Background Dancers Suck.


Have I mentioned how background dancers annoy me? I’m quite sure this isn’t the first time I’ve felt the need to spout off about them. Cool as they may try to be, pretty as some may be, what sense do they make? And, when did this become a contageous problem? What ever happened to performers having to stop their show to get extra people off the stage?

If someone I genuinely like to hear sing has background dancers, I am inclined to turn away. I just can’t stand them nor can I understand the point of them.

If I want to watch people dance, I’ll go to a ballroom or buy a ticket to some bigger production with sole focus on dancing to music.

If someone giving a speech had a bunch of people shaking their butts next to the podium, would that make you like the orator more? Would you even hear most of what he or she says? And, what would the dancers be “saying” to enhance the speech?

I can just see a priest giving his Sunday sermon with a “choir” of dancers moving around him. I am so sure people coming to pray and hear “the good word” would appreciate that performance. I am also sure more people would be talking about the dancers than the sermon itself…which is so wrong.

I am not a fan of rap. And, if a rapper–who tries to recite a novel in a matter of minutes–has background dancers, I am not going to grasp an ounce of the “gold” they are supposedly spewing. And, I am certainly not going to buy their albums…because no magic is going to reproduce the dancing balloon butts that stole my focus…unless we’re talking about holograms. But, then, am I buying a hologram projection of pop-o-matic butt action or music I care to hear in the background of my life?

A half-dozen or more Magic-Mike-and-Ike extras are not an improvement to anyone’s performance…with the small exception of being a sports star with his or her own entourage of cheerleaders. And, even that would be distracting.

In fact, if you are dictionary-challenged, the definition of “distraction” includes a stage and a performer outnumbered by people doing something other than what the performer is doing.

[It’s like playing a video game with cheerleaders or spectators choosing to walk in front of the TV screen. How am I supposed to see what I am doing? How am I supposed to concentrate while you think you are boosting my morale? I don’t even like people talking while I am focusing on a video game; it’s very distracting. And, I only get more stressed out and upset when I lose while distracted versus losing from my own lack of skill. I cannot talk and play. So, don’t talk while I am playing…unless we’re both playing and it’s a silly game meant to be fun.

I really miss the old Atari days of two people sitting to play a simple game for points. The games never demanded more than maybe ten minutes apiece, even if you played more than a dozen games and burned through a few hours. No codes or other devices were required. And, the games were nowhere near as violent as too many modern street-crime and warfront simulators are. The concern for warping minds was nothing compared to what it is now. But, I am drifting off the subject.]

**If background dancers need to share the stage, how about having them introduce an act or follow a performance like an intermission? That would actually enhance a performer’s appeal. Make the background a foreground or aftershock to keep the good vibes going. Don’t overlap talents…if that can even be called a talent.**

Back in the day of the sequin-gloved superstar known as Michael Jackson, before things got really sad and weird with him, turning that high-voiced little black boy into a pale, disfigured scapegoat, if he had other dancers with him on stage, they moved like a unit. Or, it was more like a musical with various people doing different things on one stage. But, I cannot recall ever feeling as distracted and annoyed as I am now. I remember watching Lionel Ritchie videos, with so many colorful people moving around him, and not feeling nearly as bothered as I am, today.

[However, I was never a fan of collaborations like Run DMC and Aerosmith. It was fun for lip-synching at talent shows. But, I did not enjoy listening to that noise as much as I favored Billy Joel or Huey Lewis and the News.]

There is just something different about this modern plague of background dancers that makes me want to scream.

If you’re the main attraction on a stage, own it. Don’t share it (unless it’s a duet/group performance). And, let the “sideshow” lead the parade or cover your exit.