There Is a Bed–sad version

[I’m usually opposed to poetry. I’ve written my fair share of corny and depressing rhymes. But, every now and then, I opt out of writing my thoughts as a novel. This is one of those occasions. In this first incarnation, it’s a negative outlook. In my effort to cheer myself up and think more positively, I will endeavor to let my imagination run wild and write an uplifting alternative afterward.]

 

 

There’s a bed waiting for me,
Waiting to catch me when I fall,
Waiting to offer relief when I grow weak,
Waiting to make promises it can’t keep,
Waiting for me to fail,
Waiting for me to make another mistake,
Waiting to put up with me quitting too soon one more time,
Waiting to turn every “right” I do into one more “wrong.”
Waiting to tell me how to do better,
Waiting for me to spill my tears and share my woes,
Waiting to tell me my misery is my own fault,
Waiting to badger me about how I fail to respect it,
Waiting to ignore my feelings in favor of its words,
Waiting to taunt me with unsettling silence,
Waiting to remind me why it should be number one in my life,
Waiting to tell me it’s okay to be without friends and lovers.

I can fill it with dreams,
Dreams others might think foolish or immature.
Meanwhile, it threatens me with nightmares,
Nightmares others may simply say are part of life.
This matter can not be resolved with sex or drug use.
A one night stunt won’t make the troubles go away.
And, violence is out of the question.

It may not be the worst.
But, it gets its share of negative looks and gossip.
It may not be the most spacious or comfortable.
But, it’s currently free.

For all its worth, the tempting covers are laced with poison.
The frame likes to stick me in the back when my guard is down.
It changes when I expect consistency and reassurance.
It picks at my confidence and robs me of trust.
And, it often makes a terrible sound to disturb my slumber.

Still, I sleep in this bed…alone.
I doubt anyone would want…choose to share it.
A sickness creeps into my gut.
I have a choice.
But, the options are just as daunting and uncertain.

There’s a bed waiting for me,
Surrounded by menacing laughter and potential booby traps.
I can hardly rest with both eyes closed.
And, when morning comes, I struggle to plan my escape.

 

~Writingbolt, 7-30-2014

 

Creation Is Like a Bowl of Cherries

The beauty and sweetness of the fruit lasts only so long before the rotting begins. With good intentions often–if not always–come(s) horrible misuse and/or abuse.

After going on some great trip or winning some contest, have you ever met someone who wanted you to share the rewards (photos, souvenirs, a sample/taste if food is involved, etc.) sooner than you felt comfortable/willing? You might tell them to wait or–if you have no qualms about your friends/family turning on you–deny them their desired share until you decide how much you want to give and when. Now, you have the “freedom” to put it all out there for all to see (including some you don’t want to see). You tell yourself this will relieve the pressure of nagging hands/eyes and keep those you care about connected. But, what is everyone you don’t personally know doing with the same bounty of information? While you think the farm is free, you don’t own the land. And, any fence you might put up is only as good as its designer. Only the designer can put up a fence no one else can bypass (until someone figures out how to do just that).

If I’ve learned one thing about life from my exposure to the age of the internet (and all of its minions), it’s that just about anything (or everything?) that starts out as a good thing gets abused/misused until tabloids and TV anchors can’t get enough bad news out to the masses. [Whether the bad news is genuine or just hype to stir paranoia in the interest of consumption…is always a good question.]

The second thing I’ve learned is that no story or truth is as valid and worth hearing as the one from the source itself. Anything else is likely tainted with suspicion and/or foul intent. Yet, it’s difficult to reach/hear/see the truth when there are so many riled voices clamoring at once.

And, before there ever was an internet, I learned advertised reputations and all of the lovely things people stamp on the backs of covers (for example) in favor of the creator(s) are often wrong.

But, let’s get back to the matter of misusing what is intended to be an improvement. It’s like indulging in some form of food or drink–which initially tastes good–and then vomiting the inevitably foul bi-product or result of such action. [If you’ve ever had a hangover or found yourself with your face in a toilet bowl after consuming more alcohol than your weak stomach could handle, you get the drift.] If word gets out, if something becomes a fad/trend, it seems there’s almost always a chance it will carry trouble in its wake.

So, while the internet gives seemingly boundless freedom and inspiration to the billions on this planet (those who have access, anyway) to create to their heart’s content with the hopes of becoming a wealthy star (pending management by some foreign agent who will gladly take a cut of the profits for sitting within some proximity of you), this is reckless action bound to benefit a greedy, manipulative few rather than satisfy and improve the world. The “farmers” just made it easier for the “crops” to come to them with less labor. And, in the process, the masses risk losing their health, wealth and dignity/privacy…basically, their freedom (of life as it is granted either naturally or by a higher power). The old ways of abusing power simply have found a new mask to wear.

Drawing the Associate (Social) Circle

 

 

Sources tell me (and anyone who reads or hears the same) to cut out the negatives in life and surround myself with positives (including supportive people). Fine. Let’s (start) work(ing) on that. So, I should draw a line between those things and people that “offend” me and those which “benefit” me. Who do I avoid? And, who do I associate with? [That’s the associate circle.]

Okay. Well, I don’t mean to question what the “author” views as simple or natural. [Why must I complicate these things?] But, what if that line gets a little fuzzy or out of whack because my judgement is skewed by emotion or mindset/mood? What if I declare someone negative simply because they “want you to eat your vegetables” or “grow up” when that’s possibly–if not precisely–what I need to do? What if I cross out or off something or someone that is a “virtue” and circle something or someone which/who is a “vice”?

At least, I have a conscience about this sort of thing. I don’t mean to judge…but some seem to be far more hasty in their judgements than I who they call a bad judge when I decide I don’t like something. They will “dismiss” someone for missing a phone call, filling out some paperwork wrong, turning down a lunch invitation, etc. One mistake, and they’re done. Or, they keep bouncing back together but never really become content with the relationship/friendship. I have a right to have my opinion and share it. [Don’t I?] I know I could be less blunt at times. But, I like what I like and dislike what I don’t. So does anyone. I also tend to give people more than one chance. But, I can understand how one’s “interactive calculator” can be impacted by a history of emotional scars (even if they seem minor to me). So, I give three chances, and Joe Shmoe gives one. That’s like a blue star or a red star. One’s just bigger and brighter/hotter than the other at this time.

So, here I sit once more debating what is positive/helpful and what is negative in my life. Is my family the nemesis I must defeat/ditch or just a group of difficult people I must work with (like it or not)? Am I mature or juvenile? Am I a man or more of a woman (in terms of yin and yang energies/genetics)? Am I being hasty or not moving fast enough? Am I not lowering my standards enough or too much already? Should I stick to finding what my “fickle” gut wants or settle for what appears less on the surface? Where do I draw that line?

 

Feel free to contribute your input on this. Do not be afraid. [I sure hope I don’t come off as intimidating.]

 

[I’ve probably mentioned this in previous log/blog entries. And, I’m sure to do it, again. I have read a few “self-help” books and continue to toss around their principles/lessons. And, I usually respond to the lessons by saying, “Easier said than done.”]

WordPress Usage Observations, 8-25-2013

In the past month or more of reconnecting with this blog website, I have made some observations about the quality and quantity of people and/or activity. Here is my assessment.

90 percent of posts I viewed receive 0 comments but at least 1 to 5 LIKES.

[Now, that just sounds cold and impersonal. So many go around clipping posts like articles, photos or videos to use as they please. If your post is meant to be like a professional newspaper column and/or you don’t like/want comments, read my suggestion below. Likewise, if you don’t give a hoot about this trendy LIKE system and would prefer people respond on site, you can turn that off in editing the post mode, too.]

50 percent of comments I gave received fair to positive response.

[A fair amount of the good, social, polite and educated people of the world. These are the people that generally stun me with their manners and intimidated by their success/happiness in life. In a way, they are hope for the future.]

25 percent of comments I gave received negative and/or unrelated response.

[Granted, not all of my responses have been the nicest of words. And, I’ll gladly except responsibility for upsetting someone for a good reason. But, for the responses I get from names I don’t even know/see as IDs here who snarl and hiss like gargoyles or bridge TROLLS about going away under threat of fire and brimstone, where is this coming from?

Sometimes it’s a bipolar response. The first response is genuinely nice enough for me to respond a second time. But, the following response comes with a stick of TNT and a note which reads something like: “Today’s disapproval of your vile words is brought to you by the letters F and U.” How do people turn a 180 like that?

There’s nothing nicer than getting online to find mud and bird poop on your page. I say that with the finest of sarcasm. I’ll just go get my hose and scraping tool, now. Meanwhile, you who are so irked by public response and/or do not know how to politely respond, read my suggestion below about turning off comments.]

25 percent of comments I gave received no response.

[In general, these are people not interested in comments or comments from people outside their inner circle. Their blog was designated as a “family sharing page” so that all the people they know personally and professionally can gather in the center of their Whoville and sing carols to irk all the grinches in the outer reaches of the Whotherenet. They come without explanation. They come without visible designation. But, they come with firm reservation in the clique unknown to the outsider. It’s like talking to a TV set without realizing it’s just a TV.]

Here is one SUGGESTION for using the COMMENT feature to those who post here: If you’re not going to respond to comments given by the few daring readers (like myself) to say something and not simply tie a string to what wrote (hoping someone on another trendy website will give a damn about the person LIKEing what you posted while going through every other bit of daily updates and whatnot for all the many “friends” they’ve collected like trading cards, can’t you turn them off? I know some have found a way. Then you can be like a paper newspaper (columnist) and avoid any public response unless someone can email you or figure out where you live and throw something rotten at your door.

Lastly,
98 percent of the time I come to visit this place, I struggle logging into it, posting something new, getting to my comments and navigating in general. [Yet, if I want to log out, that takes no time, at all. That feature is always ready, willing and takes a fraction of the time.]

[Ever since I received my first negative comment from a total stranger with a strangely non-existent ID/source, I have had to go through a gauntlet just to log in. I feel like the uncool guy trying to get in the exclusive nightclub. And, when it comes to making a post, the darn SAVING POST button spends more time spinning its wheels than letting me do anything else. The tools don’t even appear sometimes until I refresh. ]

In summation, while the site appears to be of higher class than some–as with any reputation–appearances are deceiving.

This concludes this report on the status of WordPress from one writer’s perspective. We now return you to regular blogcasting already in progress.