Posts Tagged ‘media

01
Feb
19

A WordPress Photo Folder/Filter Tool Suggestion

*****

Just a small suggestion to the makers of WordPress, home of 30-some percent of the internet’s power?

I’ve added A LOT of images to my lil Media folder.  Most of them are valentines I have designed in recent years here.  And, when I want to find other images for posts I make, sometimes reusing images from long ago as Featured Images, it can be a bit of a pain/drag to scroll all the way back through ALL of my images just to find the one(s) I need, even with “super-fast internet service.”

So, just a thought….and I know there is probably a forum better suited for such things…I’m just not looking for it right now.

Buuut, could there be some kind of folder/filter tool added to the media storage system which allows contributors to your 30 plus percent of the internet-verse to home in on particular images via some Key Word/Tag or maybe a sub-folder system in which images could be categorized by date?  Even that would make things simpler, as I can see dates appear around the images, letting me know when they were added…but if I can’t just zip to the dates, like I can with my digital camera, when I go to the “dates taken” menu thingy, then the dates do very little other than let me know when I added those images.

Whatdya think?  Just a thought.  A good one, I think.

Advertisements
06
Nov
18

Voting Is a U.S. Right, Not an Obligation!

*****

If you live in the not-so-United States, there’s a lot of hub-bub about VOTING. Oh.  Hey.  Is that today?  Yes, it may be happening right now!  Wait.  Read this.

It goes into all sorts of heated debates about rights which nip and peck at matters like race, gender and religion. It teases about aspirations for taxes, schools, jobs and the big ol’ dinosaur of a “snake-in-the-grass” known as insurance. It starts to sound like a chariot race at some Roman coliseum or an NFL football crowd. It’s like war without most of the bloodshed. I guess…that’s…a good thing?

And, unless you pay no attention to TV or…apparently…any screen receiving “feeds” of some “newsworthy” kind, you are sure to see and/or hear something about the push to vote. It might be worse than the push for pumpkin-spice everything, the obnoxious internet service monopoly commercials and…well, no, none of those is as annoying as the lawyer who can’t stop flashing his face and talking in his annoying voice every half hour because he decided to invest in every branch of life as he knows it, thinking that gives him a right to be a broadcast nag. On that matter, I vote NO.

Now, back to the bigger voting matter(s). Oh wait, we interrupt this blog for a commercial endorsement by some celebrity…yep, I think it’s none other than Mr. Technology Rapper, Common. Okay. Uh-huh. Got it, smooth talker.

So, as I was saying…

What? Wait 8 seconds to bypass this ad for candidate Dingleberry? *sigh* Oookayyy…

Ya see what’s happening here?

Now, if you have the patience and don’t suffer from one of those “attention-deficient disorders,” I have a few things to say. And, I might get winded. But, that’s just part of the misery of being a citizen in “the greatest country in the world.” [Nobody’s perfect here. Okay, Earthlings? If you seriously cannot read all I have to say, you may kindly skip down to the lower portion that begins with “Let me just make this short and bittersweet.”]

Americans?…and all who occupy the country even if you are not “legally settled in” the place. Voting is a citizen’s right. Yet, from all the noise going around, it sounds more like an obligation pending. And, on the sides, you have all the talk about interference and other reasons to be concerned.

This time, the red guys win. Next time, the blue guys win with the adolation of most “celebrities,” those members of some “academy” or “foreign press” association. [It all sounds like secret society talk, like some Luminati or Nazi nod or stroke of the nose. We got ya, boss. Wink.] Nothing good can really be achieved if every day is spent battling Joes and Cobras, or if one “side” paints the town red just for the other to paint it blue when they dominate “seats.” It’s just a waste of time and energy (life).

If recent years haven’t made it abundantly clear, the whole U.S. voting system is a joke and a mess. [Remember the “chad” fiasco from a previous election? That thing that made the cryp-to-spo-rid-i-um scare seem trivial.] But, like other U.S. messes, it goes around and around, and no one really makes an improvement. Is that stability or insanity? [And, if anyone in Russia is laughing at this, take a look in the mirror, once in a while. Are you really any better off? Is any country truly happy with itself? I’d like to know, and I might like to live there.]

And, when the voting is supposedly done, the winners get a mixed bag of quiet time (in which they can do whatever they want) and time in the spotlight when they either get mention for some kind of achievement or pestered for what they did wrong. The latest gladiator to enter this arena has been grilled and then grilled some more for being an all-around fool. Yet, all the noise hasn’t made him even flinch.

Does that mean he’s just that secure in himself or is all the noise just noise and an illusion of unrest? And, if it’s an illusion of unrest, what is going on here? What are “they” protecting at the risk of several minds, not to mention lives?

I begin to question the whole security and essence of my existence. Don’t you? Are we all just cattle being scared into bumping into each other, dropping money we supposedly earn to secure our “status” in this world and our futures, dropping it on the grate that filters into some system we have no control over though we are pressed to vote it into existence year after year? Are we just batteries in some grand machine, handed illusions of better lives until we are broken and replaced? Or, are we truly valued individuals who have a right to live on the same planet and, at least, not assault each other as we find balance with the environment?

I know the concept of everyone living content and having kids as they will is beyond my comprehension of population control. It’s some idyllic fantasy of a science-fiction show about some people and aliens in spandex costumes breaking apart the universe in pursuit of other worlds to occupy and systems of order to upset. [Yeah. Let’s upset some other race. Not ours. Whatever. I guess it’s all learning from experience. Right? Even if it takes an eternity for the light bulb to glow.] I can but choose not to imagine what life would be like if we were no different than deer and lions chasing around in the wilderness, risking the chance of being slain and eaten. But, such is “domesticated” life, conditioned in our minds for such a long time. Right?

And now, back to our voting program……still in progress.

—–

If voting is a gauntlet of fear and anger with a roaring crowd occupying some sort of stadium, arguing over which “side” will rule the land, I really don’t want any part of it. I mean, I am not sure I fit into that sort of medieval mentality, that clash of kingdoms and warlords where you paint your faces to represent a side and then unleash all kinds of confetti-infused mayhem on the land. You’d think the country would have evolved beyond the WW2 days of war bonds and collecting materials for vehicles, rations and weapons. Is this Game of Thrones or Fantasy Island?

If you are pressed to vote and looked down upon for not voting, isn’t that sort of…bullying? Isn’t that as bad as sexism and racism?

Is the “system” so desperate to keep everyone “involved” just to appear as if they care and can work together rather than actually learning to work together?

Has life on this planet become all about the “clicks” and “likes” rather than actually putting our hands together to make some good happen?

Are the “powers that be” so concerned about order crumbling into chaos that their only reassurance is to pressure everyone to partake in this mad scene called a vote?

If we all quarrel and fuss, are our voices reassuring anyone?

Is this like a game of Marco Polo in which being heard confirms we’re still alive and not up to no good?

If a tree in the forest makes a sound, does that mean it’s not plotting to end you?

And, if you must vote with only what you get from ads and debates and those colorful not-so-little flyers passed around until they litter the streets like some 1940s war-era movie disaster, isn’t your vote a bit mis-educated? Misguided? How many candidates make the same promises and then bend differently once in office? Does it really matter who gets in the offices? Does any side really win forever? Does anything good last? Is everyone ever happy?

[Now, I am sure it’s worse in other countries. I know no Americans are getting beheaded, killed for going against the flow and/or voicing opinions that don’t agree with the ruling force. Women aren’t as “repressed” in the U.S….though one could argue the conditioned mindsets of makeup and fashion are a bit like shackles. Is that comforting to know or just a different color of the same crap?]

I cannot honestly say I have any grand knowledge of or trust in any candidate. Sure, I could “research.” But, if all I get is the “resume” of aspirations, am I not still taking a gamble on a person’s character? I cannot be guaranteed one person put in a government job slot will improve anything. And, whether or not my vote does some good cannot be proven. It’s no better than me offering up a prayer unanswered or tossing a coin in a fountain and making a wish. Yet, both of those are not NEARLY as costly to “air time,” taxes and the environment.

[I have voted in previous elections. And, did it make me feel good? Not really. I get that voting, as a right, gives people a chance to decide who gets some sort of job which is supposed to improve the way everyone lives. But, there’s just as much chance my choice will get slammed for some crime he or she did not previously admit and turn out to be something I did not want, at all. I trusted a man’s calm face only to then question is motives and worry about the environment not only threatening job security but the resources that sustain life. If my vote contributes to making my life miserable or ending it sooner than it should be…what the frick am I achieving?!]

When George Washington became the first president of the “United States,” I doubt everyone who could vote voted. People were present and denied the chance and/or right to vote. Some couldn’t make it to wherever it was decided to have their say. Yet, some consensus pushed him up the red-white-and-blue pipe to the top and convinced him to lead the people as he had led some faction through war. And, somehow, this was better than the old taxing ways of the “red coats” and the even older conquering broods that stormed lands, slaying and enslaving natives. Well, it got his face stamped on a few things; that’s for sure. But, is that such a great thing, considering what other places have been stamped with and/or the names they’ve been given? [Boy, I sure enjoyed my weekend at Screw-Your-Soul Lake! I got the chance to climb Mt. Sisyphus and ride the It-Doesn’t-Matter-Horn.]

SEGWAY ALERT! [And, I don’t mean one of those semi-trendy electric scooters.]

And, let’s stop making memorials for every damn wrong humans committed! Aren’t movie remakes enough to let people know they aren’t learning from past mistakes? We’re not making new good; we’re just remodeling the old bad. A statue that represents a racist attrocity isn’t going to stop people from being racist. It’s just as likely to remind people how and/or why to commit one. [What did that guy do? Oh…now that I think of it, maybe I should do that.]

Ever heard of a killer that mimicked a past one? That’s kind of what history does. It’s a sneaky reminder of all the good and bad deeds done in the past, and that filters through our minds like panning for gold. Some will get the virtues while others collect the vices.

Just because there is a Mecca, pope or Buddha doesn’t mean everyone is going to pray to it, him or her and get the benefit. But, at least, those three are hopeful options versus big, glaring reminders of some horror that took place. I’d personally rather walk down a street to find some positive inspiration rather than a reason to feel depressed and/or unreasonable guilt, thank you very much. Yes, many, many people died here. But, you don’t see nearly as many memorials for all the natives trampled and slaughtered under the cover of Thanksgiving! No. Just plenty of casinos and “reservations.” Did we learn anything, class?

And, breathe.

Voting is not something you hand out on the street, not knowing where it has been and where it is going. You don’t smuggle foreigners into voting booths to sway your preference. You should not have to even worry about another country tampering with the ads and/or results. [I won’t name names because that’s like the old school ritual of gossip about “germs.” And, that’s…kinda like bullying. But, thanks a bunch, electronic “conveniences.” Is it so hard to print paper forms or take a vote in person? Why not just have every voter stand in front of a video (or “phone”) camera and voice their choice like the kooks who participate in those “reality TV game shows” who send someone packing every week? Wait. Can that be tampered with, too?] You don’t quibble about ID proof or pester your citizens about anything that they are or do other than being a registered citizen and their choice of candidates. You should not be fed similar mud-slinging stories from all of the candidates and then forced to make a choice with poor education.

If voting is no better than a “Catholic school” permitting some questionable–to say the least–practices or drilling old scripture into your heads that isn’t being respected, it’s as useless as making a complaint to the boss at work who brushes it off for whatever reason and works under the thumb of another guy who works under the thumb of another guy who… Can’t we come up with a better system, already? Or, just do our best to respect the decisions of some person or persons that want to make such decisions so badly so as to keep our heads and liberties, if we still have any.

Let’s not trade dictatorship for democracy or shuffle the cards and pick one of the already disfunctional systems.

And, god or gods help us, let’s not hand over the planet to the alien robots some aspire to replace our humanity, as flawed as it may be. As cool as some might think it is to meet a Transformer, do you really want to be replaced by one or be denied the chance to have real children of your own who go on to have their own children, and so on? Do you really want humankind, your kind, to end its historic tale in a blaze of disaster and failure? Do you think all monkeys want to be known for flinging poo?

I’ve personally heard enough about the origins of democracy to make me give up my fascination with ancient Greece. But, I’d really like such negative and worrisome feelings to just go away so I can wander in daydreams of the old exquisite architecture and happier toga parties…or kimono parties in the Far East, surrounded by cherry trees in full bloom.

Making televised ceremony of some “heir” taking a throne before making baby heirs to ensure the future of one family keeping the old kingdom’s balls rolling isn’t better. It’s like “reality TV” government. And, I really don’t see how probing into the lives of your leaders is allowing anyone to think clearly enough to run any nation. It may be “transparency,” but I don’t want someone watching me poop just to know I am not up to no good. Are the concepts of trust and faith so dead and gone from this world? Are we all so criminal that no one can be trusted with doing GOOD? [And, if you’re booking a flight to Mars just to get away from it all, send me a letter, telling how much better you have it there, provided you don’t repeat these mistakes we humans haven’t learned to correct, yet. Bomb-shelter scare, anyone?]

Ideally, you should have a chance to speak with the candidates and get a feel for what you really like and dislike about the people. After all, this is all “for the people, by the people.” Right? Well, how close is “by the people” if the candidates are just images on a screen and some audio clip endorsing the ad? And, how much do we really get out of debates other than who slammed the opposition best and who stood up for him or her self? Are debates just a wrestling match and test of social stability?

—–

Let me just make this short and bittersweet. [I just like to say that in hopes of preventing myself from foaming at the mouth and exhausting all of my resources, resources like those considered so abundant that they can be wasted on everything “WiFi,” cable-fed and campaign-related when there are people and other animals struggling to live in a world that can’t come to terms with population control and balance with nature. And, maybe, if you DO suffer from a drifting mind, you’ll float down here and get the consensus of my thoughts.]

If voting is not simply a right of United States citizens (and should be a right in other countries, as well), if, instead, it is some sort of obligation like taxes, attending certain schools and obeying certain laws, then it should be an educated decision people make as comfortably as depositing waste in their toilets. Yes, I am saying voting should be as pleasurable as pooping and peeing. And, right now, it’s not even close.

If you made voting available online–as I am sure many are considering even now–that is not the solution! A swipe right or left on some mobile device might be easier than going to a foreign building to fill out a ballot, but it’s as or even more likely to be corrupted and, thus, futile, just because you cater to lazy whims and, again, consider resources like electricity and all of these invisible rays passing through our bodies and everything else on the planet just to transmit “decisions” we should be making face-to-face, with each other, considering such resources so abundant that they can be wasted when so many go without and fall to the wayside.

Let’s really work together to find a “system” that works as well as or better than those supposed globally peaceful “federations” you hear about in some show about “space explorers” who…end up going to war with other worlds and fighting over who is right and wrong, anyway. There has to be a better way! Let’s find it! Not just Americans. Not just celebrity-sales-pitch slaves. Every human on Earth.

Oh, now don’t get any pushy ideas about me as some candidate. I have little to no concrete wisdom about running a house, much less a country or planet. Just noble aspirations and a weakening heart crumbling under so many social pressures and failures. And, I don’t have a clue who I could work with to make things actually better for everyone.

Don’t vote for me. Vote for your city, state and/or country’s security. Vote responsibly or not at all (just like using drugs, including alcohol, pills and all things weed-y). If you cannot meet with the candidates and feel confident in what they could do (because we cannot expect anyone entering a sea of mysterious operators from warring factions to be some kind of Moses parting the Red–Red? Hmm.–Sea), then your vote is dangerous and likely futile.

If no one votes…well, that’s not likely to happen anytime soon. But, if you don’t vote, does it really matter? Someone’s going to step up to make decisions, in pursuit of establishing noble order, domination of territory or just a place in history books. Some folks will follow that person while others will resist. And, if you do vote only to complain later about and/or suffer from the results, did you achieve anything good? And, isn’t that a shame?

I’m Writingbolt, a currently faceless (because I honestly fear for my life, sometimes) identity on a cash cow farm…er, blog site, and I support this statement, even if it fills enough pages to quality for a whatever Times bestseller. If nothing else, I’ve stated my opinion, for what that’s worth. I’m told it’s good to write down one’s thoughts. I hope that’s true. And, I hope I haven’t wasted any precious resources with this output.

05
Nov
16

My New Social Networks

*****
I’m not much of a joiner. I’m just too darn skeptical.

I don’t like assuming everyone and every corporation you find is suddenly a “friend” you can add to or delete from your circle. I don’t like slinging, eating or smoking hash. Nor do I have any interest in tagging bags of it. I don’t want people following me everywhere and reading my every thought. I don’t like people abusing a word like– What’s the word I’m thinking of? You know. It’s like…something like… Anyway. Why be one of countless followers feeding the pockets of some millennial mogul-in-the-making when you could be feeding your own pockets with shat piles of gold?

So, I did just that. I crapped out my own social domains in just a few minutes. Sign up, and you can continue to defecate every little thing that crosses your blue-lit mind in one more trending space. Or, link your crap from other spaces to this space to create a chain of crap, otherwise known as diarrhea of the internet.

Once I’m rolling in golden crap cakes, I’ll be sure to thank everyone by showing off the fruits of my empire and a short shat list of charities I support to distract you from my stock and political angles.

Now, go forth, be poop-ful and multiply.

Be sure to Kiss my Arsebook page and Stalk my Sh@tter feed.

I’m Writingbolt and I drop this statement (along with one smelly microphone).

arsebook-page_writingbolt-ap-2016-1jshatter-page_writingbolt-ap-2016-1j

27
Sep
16

What a Waste

*****

It hit me yesterday as another lame presidential debate unfolded and, of all people, Donald Trump hits me over the head with the V8 bottle.  All the money wasted on slandering ads.  But, the buck doesn’t stop there.  The whole election system seems a waste of time, money and work hours.  Presently, it’s about a woman who is never going to be forgotten for being absent-minded with her use of computers and a business blowhard who is as fearless as he is foolish when it comes to public relations.  And, in the middle of the arena is a heap of currency from gamblers.  Above their heads is the “fate of Americana” if that’s not just tabloid hype.

Pull the string a little harder, and you find ties to American rights fought so hard for by the armed forces.  I have heard some people question why anyone would not vote for the next president when “our troops fight so hard for these freedoms.”

Is going to war really worth the mockery of an election process?  Is that really a favorable freedom, voting for people who are pressured into mud-slinging nonsense to rile a divided country into taking up sides built on playground behavior rampant in elementary schools?

I am reminded–for whatever reason–of someone I know who worked with a “charitable organization” and came home with some rather expensive “swag” which was spread among staff as a tax write-of–er, gratitude for services.  My family didn’t need the “swag.”  Someone else surely could make better use of the items.  Why do people who don’t need these items get them?  And, what do I anticipate most people who get this “swag” to do with it?  Well, odds are, they’ll either put it up for auction (say on eBay) or offer it to someone else with a good chance that someone else will not use it, either.  Maybe I am being pessimistic.  But, it smells more and more like the likely outcome, at least, from where I live, from my point of view.  Knowing my luck with stepping outside this point of view, I’ll go to another state or country and find much more sensible, generous and productive use of such “swag.”  And, I am sure, in some places, worse use.

In short, I guess I am just nauseous from how much time, money and resources are exhausted each day on crap that amounts to nothing.  And, in the back of my head, I hear the Foo Fighters singing that song about “reaching the prize at the end of the road” and all that “nothing” that comes before seeing one’s own “ghost.”  As I said to myself last night, I fear one day, in the distant future, some other race will look back upon humankind and sum it all up as a waste of space and resources, a species that constantly tried to assert itself as right in self-centered ways until extinction.

I’m clinging to a shred of hope that won’t be the case.

Maybe guys like Kaepernick have the right idea about not partaking in the national anthem.  But, if so, what does that say about the nation who boasts being #1.  And, what’s it going to take to remedy the situation?  Certainly, not a “bank bailout.”  Certainly, not another ridiculous election of a figurehead with two opposing teams of underlying “factory workers.”  Certainly, not a nation of people giving up on trying.  [But, I’m leaning toward falling into that last group, myself.  Which isn’t good.]  Certainly not more APP businesses that are a flash in the pan predecessor of a scary  world already seen in movies mankind made.  Certainly not more minimum wage jobs and guns in hands of desperate and foolish people.

I don’t have any grand answer.  But, I’d love to establish a decent think tank.

25
Nov
14

Thoughts on the latest “big” sexual assault/cold case debate

If you mention a certain fairly famous comedian’s name these days, you might start a fire.  [I won’t start one now.  But, I’ll tell you he has had a few shows with his name attached to the title and sold pudding pops for years.]  But, while some might “get their dander up” about the women lying about abuse to get money from the guy, I’d like to offer a countering argument with some personal experience (which I won’t exactly discuss here/publicly) to back my assessment.

[If you want the short “tweet” version, here it is:  The women were terrified to go up against the media.  The guy has the potential to be intimidating/manipulating.  And, while the women can’t legally get rich from bringing the cases up now, they need and deserve emotional closure.  It’s better to get this off their chests than go to the grave never making their feelings known.  And, any one of them who happens to be a fake has her own conscience and higher power to deal with.  As for anyone who feels the need to remove any and all connections to the man simply because of the fuss going on, you people are being stupid.  Either you respect the man or you don’t.  And, if you didn’t know the truth, why not?]

I know that’s not a good short version.  But, here are more words to tickle your brain cells.

Just because a bunch of women come forward several years after being (rumored) abused/raped/taken advantage of does not mean their case/s is/are invalid.  Sure, there are legal boundaries for what can be done within a set amount of time.  That’s just the paperwork mumbo jumbo tied to all the financial organizations.  So, worst case scenario, they can’t get rich from bringing this up so late after the incident.

But, had they brought up the matter soon after it happened, can you imagine the “fire wall” they might have faced?  I think what one woman said is true.  He is famous for being the good, fun, nice guy, and he’s making moolah in his prime (which seems perpetual).  If you take on a giant like that legally, you’re bound to get squashed.

Now, there are exceptions to the “rule” like a certain Monica who went up against the U.S. president.  She didn’t care who he was or if he was in good health.  She went in guns blazing to get her peace.  And, what actually happened may still be up for debate.  But, why bother?  Let those involved go on living in peace without the tabloids and regurgitating interviews.  And then, there was the famous football player/actor accused of murder.  Anyone who caught a piece of that media coverage (or a certain Seinfeld episode) know how that went.

These women–the legitimate ones–didn’t have anyone in their corner after IT happened.  They kept silent, probably out of fear.

Funny people often have a dark side we don’t normally see.  Let that be known.  If you don’t know or deny it, check again.  Comics/Comedic actors fight depression and dark forces out of the spotlight.

And, if you’ve been in a painfully broken relationship–however long or brief–and have ever felt you didn’t say enough or walked away under unfavorable conditions, you might be familiar with a term called CLOSURE.  A couple can get divorced and still feel aftershocks of emotion decades later.  Some get re-married.  Others harbor grudges and/or scars.  But, the smart ones get everything they need to out on the table so they can breathe easier.  [For some, this need is insatiable.  They’re just perpetual hurricanes of venting.  And, pray you never become or face one.]

These women–the legitimate ones (and only they and those they know can vouch for their validity)–need closure.  Now.  Before he and they are dead.  It just happens to be when he is losing his health and mind that they felt strong enough to speak.  It’s no different than the spouse of a hostile mate (and it need not always be the man who is hostile) being too afraid to get out of the negative situation.  Sometimes it takes the opposition being on their deathbed for the “victim” to finally “peep.”  ‘Nothing wrong with that.

28
Jul
14

The AMAZING Lies

 

 

And now, back to Late Night with Writingbolt!

Alright. Welcome back. My first guest tonight is a stellar performer known for his work in YADA and YADA. Here to discuss his latest epic about NADA which hits theaters this weekend. Please welcome…

 

 

Have you ever watched a “talk” or “entertainment”/”tabloid” show just to see some celebrity interview and hear what they have to say about their latest movie, TV show or theater project? And, have you ever counted the number of times their eyes go blank as the word “amazing” slips from their parched lips?

I once saw a theater trivia slide (those image stills you might see before the trailers and unrelated ads begin rolling across the screen) which mentioned the use of a certain word in “the business” to loosen lips before reciting lines. [I think it was rhubarb.] If I listen to my conspiracy theory inner voice, I’d presume “amazing” was code for something entirely different. And, maybe…just maybe…the varying inflection of actors’ voices indicates a change in the translation. Maybe a swift, shrill “amazing” means the host should move quickly to the next question. And, maybe, a lower, softer, drawn-out “amazing” means: “I’m still regretting submitting myself to this filthy money train and can’t wait til these interviews finally end and I can (insert your costly therapy of choice).” Surely, an “amazing” uttered with a cough and/or a scratch of the cheek means something negative is lurking under the actor’s or actress’ fingernails. In any case, it’s yet another load of televised crap that I am personally tired of witnessing.

[Of course, I could just stop watching like some people. But, how then would I learn what Gretta Somebody’s favorite flower is so I can buy stock in the plant before stalking my way to her back doorstep? I’m kidding. Or, AM I?!]

DID you enjoy working with that director who likes explosions in every one of his dumb films though they risk your very life in the pursuit of box office records? Or, are you still seeing stars from the flames and waiting for your ears to stop ringing?

Did you REALLY like every member of the cast you worked with? Or, did someone make your four months on and/or off set so miserable that you considered making a dangerous cocktail of sleeping pills and vodka? Maybe you’d like to get that weight off your chest before your therapist puts you on some dangerous medication or your arm no longer has room for one more rubber band.

Did you REALLY enjoy going on a strict diet and having your body put through a Play-Doh fun factory just to fit the shape the casting director/s wanted? Do you REALLY like risking your health by changing your appearance, including your weight/body mass, every time you take a new role? Or, would you rather play parts that take you as you are and spare the plastic surgery (though you may have to work on using different vocal tones and personalities that are not your own)? [In other words, you pretend to be someone else and wear a costume if necessary. And, casting directors either search farther than their noses for actors to fit the parts or cut those available some physical slack. But, you’re free to eat and drink whatever you please and skip the countless trips to the therapist and/or personal trainer squad.]

If you’re willing to hear my advice, anyone who feels the need to use the word “amazing” or any of its regret-masking cousins should turn to the one giving the interview and say, “I’m not going to answer that at this time.” Or, here’s a refreshing idea. Be honest.

But, I suppose, that’s too dangerous and difficult, considering nothing negative can be said without creating foul gossip/business. [Of course, bad news in your local area and current events around the world is an exception to this rule. You don’t see weather reporters putting “amazing” spins on severe storms destroying neighborhoods. Well, you might. But, that just means the reporter is really due for a vacation because he or she has been locked away in a room of computer monitors and radar equipment far too long.] Why waste the viewers’ time with fabricated information? And, why make those participating in the project wax over the truth in interview after interview after interview after…

You want people to tune in? Stop making ME tune out! Or, here’s a novel notion. Skip the discussion of the process, fill in the gaps with more relatable personal topics and then get right to the film clip.

04
Jan
14

Is MONEY Right For You?–A Mock Drug Advertisement

…..

…..

Do you suffer from jealousy?
Do you crave what others have and vow to take it for yourself?
Do you experience uncontrollable urges to dominate the world and/or cause trouble?
Do violent thoughts cloud your judgement, putting others at risk of your restless heart?

Then, you might benefit from a prescription of…

 

 

MONEY

 

 

MONEY restrains thoughts of violence and rebellion by injecting concepts like expense, insurance, financial security, cost, loan, debt, poverty, bankruptcy, discount, dividend, rainy day fund, hole burning in pocket, retirement savings account and wealth into the primitive human brain.  Tests show MONEY has a high rate of curbing otherwise incalculable damage to lives and land from those who cannot negotiate diplomatically, barter and/or survive with what they already have.  MONEY limits resource disputes because MONEY contains “Idonthavetodestroyewol” which alters the mind’s value of things and can significantly reduce death and property damage.

 

But, don’t just take this narrator’s word for it.  Listen to these satisfied individuals acting as customers…

 

Grey-haired older person happily sharing a meal with grand-kids in a well-furnished dining room:  “If I didn’t have MONEY, I don’t know what I’d do if neighbors damaged my property or hurt someone I love.  I don’t have the physical strength to fight anymore.  But, with MONEY, I don’t have to fight.  I can sue the offender and take everything they have in court.  Thanks, MONEY.”

Single mother of two and a half kids pouring her son a big glass of milk in her humbly furnished kitchenette:  “My life has certainly become more complex and restrained having to calculate the cost of everything I do with my family.   With MONEY, I don’t have to worry about what my kids will do with all of their free time.  Now, I have control over what they play with and where they get educated.  Even if it leaves me in debt, begging for financial aid and cheating the system any way I can to save a buck.”

Scrawny, scantily clad prostitute–with a hair color not found in nature–standing on a street corner shortly before sunset:  “I used to feel inferior because of social anxiety and disputes with my parents.  But, now I can trade sex for MONEY, buy things my neighbors would kill for with ease and enjoy going to work every day.  So what if I get abused by bigger men now and then.  At least, I have a social life and not some lousy marriage or failing business dragging me down.  Who needs a nine-to-five job, anyway?  Just drop your pants!  And, let my manager take care of the rest.”

 
Visibly wealthy older man with twenty-something “trophy wife” in his arms beside the pool of his large estate:  Before MONEY, guys like me probably didn’t have a chance with women like this.  We were far too out of shape and…old.  But, thanks to MONEY, you can have any beauty you desire for the right price.  I laugh at people who use dating websites to find love.  Get a real job, you hippies!  She’s all mine!  [Young wife says:]  Yea, I am!  Just look at the ring he gave me!  It’s huge!

Non-white, United States immigrant shopkeeper closing cash register after giving change to a departing customer with a nod and a wink:  “Now, I don’t have to wait for medical care when I or some member of my family is sick or injured.  Even if all I have is a simple cold which could be treated with a healthy diet, liquids and rest, I can see a doctor at any time of day or night, have him tell me what I should already know and let someone else pay the cost.  Thanks, MONEY.”

Wealthy-looking woman caressing a large urn on a pedestal while a maid behind her dusts other large possessions:  “This might not mean anything to you.  But, thanks to MONEY, my clay pot–reproduced by poorly paid laborers after the original was stolen from slain natives–and my ridiculously huge house are worth a fortune which can keep me financially secure well into early retirement.  That’s good news for my legacy.”

Sloppy-looking man with a paint-spattered apron painting a vase of flowers in his private studio:  “I may not make more than a few hundred bucks selling this month’s work of art today.  But, someone who finds it decades later in the garbage can turn around and make a fortune at auction by selling it.  [Chuckles]  How’s that for investing in your future?  Now, if you don’t mind, I have to get back to work so I can keep a failing businessman or con artist off the streets while I struggle to keep my refrigerator stocked.”

Single overweight woman–who hates to cook for one–buying lunch at a fast food chain:  “My ancestors used to worry about how to keep their meals from spoiling and crops not growing.  They only lived to be thirty if they were lucky.  Now, I can go to the grocery store or my favorite restaurant and have previously frozen foods injected with all sorts of unsafe chemical bi-products waiting for me any time I want.  Even if the stores throw out tons of unsold products to rot, I’m sure to live well past a hundred if some man-made disease doesn’t take me down.  And, it’s all thanks to MONEY.”

Smiling married couple sitting together in front of their rather large entertainment system on a white sofa in a room of all neutral colors:  [Wife says:]  “Long ago, people like us used to take home entertainment for granted.  We went from listening to every commercial and subliminal message to hating the sound of electricity.  But now, thanks to MONEY, we have ever-changing technology which keeps us replacing our equipment to keep up with the neighborhood and tuning our brains with increasingly powerful invisible radiation.”  [Husband nudges wife and says:]  “Even if they replace intelligent and/or comical shows with dozens of channels containing nothing but cute pets, repeating advertisements and people’s private lives captured on some hard drive, we’ll keep watching.”  [Wife nudges husband back, smiles and adds:]  “We’re paying for our entertainment every day without having to go to the store and buy unnecessary test products.  And, in a few years, we’re sure to be paying double.  That oughta make some smart businessman rich.”  [Husband says:]  “Just not us.”  [Wife laughs:]  “Yeah.  Not us.”

Visibly distressed square man with equally square eyeglasses sitting beside his computer with a stack of papers on his lap:  “Sure, doing business online is risky.  I could lose my shirt in a blink if some hacker discovers the passwords to my accounts which I change every six months just to stay sane.  But, it beats having to go to the bank, waiting in line and killing some poor, defenseless trees just to transfer funds.  I no longer have to deal with people who might hurt or disturb me.  I can stay at home where I’ll likely never see the light of day, have human contact or get regular exercise.  Without MONEY, I’d have to get off my butt and fight off both man and beast to get what I need.  Survival of the fittest?  Who needs that?”

Sooty future man wearing military apparel and dodging search lights from remote control drones flying over a city street ravaged by robots, missiles and lasers:  “Just think.  I could be sitting at home doing nothing but talking and stuffing my face with people I no longer like.  Instead, I’m staying fit, staying hungry on the run from machines programmed by people just like me who worked for decades to create these robotic menaces while believing they were sustaining themselves and making the world a better place.  Long ago, we encouraged childbirth to amass a large workforce.  But, that became too costly and annoying.  Then, we made people dependent upon what was pitched as ‘social media’ and created computer jobs to eliminate ourselves and make life easier for a handful of wealthy individuals who used their financial leverage to control everyone else.  Now, that’s smart MONEY.”

Balding married man in his late twenties with hair transplant and “successful” wardrobe getting out of his polished two-door car on a quiet suburban street lined with identical houses:  “MONEY doesn’t leave me wondering why I shouldn’t punch or shoot the person next to me for making me mad.  Now, all I need to think about are penalties, lawsuits brought upon myself and how I’m going to cover the cost of living which used to be free from Heaven.  Thanks, MONEY.  You’re a lifesaver.”

 

WARNING:  Side effects of MONEY may include:  Sudden lapses in moral judgement, preoccupation with spending and/or hoarding, bitch-slapping those viewed as inferior, depriving others of necessities, overflow of landfills due to hasty mass-production and wasted resources, lower self-esteem when comparing one’s income to that of another (especially when seeking a romantic relationship and/or commitment), imprisonment, competition for resources similar to that involved in general warfare and internal upsets which could result in more serious medical and mental health problems.  MONEY may cause “Midas” or “Harod fever” which significantly puts you at risk of destroying everything you previously valued for what you think is the love of MONEY.
If you suffer a four-hour erection with visions of gold dancing in your head or experience increased thoughts of jealousy, fear of poverty, greed, theft, cheating, violence and/or disrespect for others (which may include “pimping” and/or slavery), tell your government to stop manufacturing MONEY and seek a better alternative immediately.

 

If you are seeking an alternative to combat, feel your livelihood is threatened by violence or if you’d like to keep bothersome squatters off your property…don’t just sit there sharpening your weapon(s) and/or worrying about someone taking everything you think you own by force.  Ask your government if they can supply you with a prescription for MONEY.

 

MONEY.  It just makes life…easier…

 

…for everyone but you.




Archives

Advertisements