Posts Tagged ‘magazine

16
Nov
18

Rattle and Hum, a Taylor-Made Gift Idea

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I’m getting you ready for the “holiday” otherwise known as Christmas with my own sure-to-be-a-commercial-hit gift idea, Rattle and Hum magazine, a personal creation composed relatively briskly on a whim.  Can’t get enough Taylor Swift?  Well, now you can purchase 12 months of Rattle and Hum and relish in our mixture of fantasy tales, recipes, costume parties, music, tips of all kinds and more.

Check out these cover designs for the 2019 subscription.   [Any repetition you notice is why this was created relatively quickly.]

12-issues-of-RattleandHum-magazine-covers-taylorswift_reduced-ap-CSPP-13801260-3C

2-RattleandHum-magazine-february-romance-caution-cover-taylorswift_ap-CSPP-11501400-14-4

Why Rattle and Hum?  Well, if you must know, it’s a blend of astrology, music and just the general feeling I have about what could be between her and I, if we put our heads together and made “beautiful music.”  🙂

So, who will be our first customer?

[Clever inclusions on the covers.  Right?  Tell me you notice these things.]

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18
Apr
18

Too Many Offices Behind the Screen?

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Everything is going internet and APP these days.  Or, so it seems.  No one wants to do anything face-to-face, anymore.  Where do you think that will lead?  And, what kind of faith do we have to have to trust those we cannot even see?

I mean, we might chance the occasional online shopping to get something that isn’t available in the local store.  But, if it’s near home, can’t we sum up the courage and resources to go get it?  [Not if we’re going to support drone service, download the app for everything and do what when something goes wrong?  Who are you going to call for help?  Some Uber android service representative?  Some remote control repair person?]

What gets me going on this tangent today?  Well, I’m noticing sooooo many bloggers writing advice columns for just about everything.  They take up probably 2/3 of this blog site, leaving the other 1/3 to personal tales and soooooooooooooooooo many poems.  Oh, and a few artists’ simplest of works.  Look, I drew a pencil.  LIKE it.  And, random photos from people looking to scrapbook life.

I get to thinking…who takes this advice seriously?  Who reads all of this stuff?  And, how do you trust some advisor you never met?  Are you going to consult a doctor who never touches your body or witnesses what you are suffering?   You prefer self-diagnosis and assumption?  [And, what of the advisor who isn’t even legitimately advising but leading you on to some linked sham?]

I forget that’s what we’ve been doing for a long time with tabloid TV shows and magazines featuring countless ads for pills, cigarettes, ridiculously expensive cars and watches, etc.  Magazines are known for this sort of thing.  So many articles and cover blurbs about how to do this and that better than you probably know yourself.  Why ask someone you know when you can read about it from a complete stranger?

Except, with good ol’ magazines and TV, there was nothing to open or click on to give you trouble.  You slowed your life down to read or watch.  You didn’t invite “malware” to shut down your TV or fingers.

Whatever happened to “word of mouth” or consulting your neighbor?

So, what am I achieving by writing out these thoughts?  I dunno.  Who really cares.  You’ve got more important things to do, see and read.  Like all those advice columns.  This isn’t exactly one of them.  But, it might sound like one.  And, while I know I am a genuine heart and soul writing these words, I realize you only know the text on the screen.  Everything else you feel is your imagination (and, maybe, gut feeling if you’re lucky).

 

 

10
Jul
14

Do You Attach Your Face to Things You Do Not Like/Use?

Have I already told you how much I get irked by advertising and any spokesperson/”news anchor” who seems locked into either only saying good things about everything they are forced to pitch** or spreading foul gossip? It just happens to be something that has built up an intolerance in me at this time. Thus, I am taking this moment to release some mental debris.

[You like picking your way through other people’s thoughts; right? If so, have at this lot. But, you may want to bring along a snack and/or beverage as I get a little “windy.”]

**You’re honestly going to see every movie you mention whether it suits your interest or not? Sure you are. Maybe if someone pays you a favorable sum just to do it. But, I guarantee you won’t like every last one. Still, you will sit with a fabricated smile upon your plastic face and tell the world how great they all are because, for some twisted reason, your paycheck depends upon such nonsense.

[Some would say I have too much free time if I let such things bother me. They don’t watch TV or don’t see what I do. They say I give such things too much thought when they and/or others just let them be. And, perhaps, they use them without thinking as much. To each their own.]

In a magazine, newspaper or one of the many lame “flash” slots you find on a PC/tablet/phone screen, you may only get a static image of someone modeling for a product/service. And, there’s a good chance the model’s image has absolutely nothing to do with the product (other than, perhaps, the environment in which the product may be used).

[“That woman is dressed for the office. That product must be good for my suffocating work station. Surely, it will make me feel better at the end of my shift.”
OR
“That man is dressed for the office. I should add that (potentially addictive/hazardous, ridiculously small and ineffective sample size) product to the (senseless and wasteful) swag bags for all of my employees at the next company function and shake hands with the representative/s for the manufacturer to boost revenue/merger/buyout potential.”]

In some hastily assembled cases, the ads use images snatched from web sites/online photo galleries (with proper permission/payment, we assume). Does that model truly support or use the product advertised with their face/body? Probably not. More likely, the model needed money and was willing to pose in some outfit they did not pick themselves before their image was used for all sorts of merchandising and questionable services in the hands of countless “businesses.”

How low it must be to buy/borrow/steal these models and slap them in some ad like a common hand or package. Sure, maybe the models signed themselves over to partake, but does that mean those seeking representation have to morally cheat or buy up every/any “prostitute” in town? What if the product/service is assuredly bogus/worthless or corrupt? How sad it must be to see your face on an ad for a product/service you don’t personally approve. I personally would not want my face/artwork/image in one for something toxic like sex “toys,” cigarettes or pills of any kind promising benefits at the expense of retirement/daily necessity funds and baffling side effects. How sad it is to see what people will do for a buck only to cost countless others their bucks for no good reason/result.

With “televised” commercials, it’s quite similar if not worse. I think it’s worse to invest more time exposing oneself as a spokesperson/representative of a product/service one doesn’t support (or filming a scene without knowing what it will be used to support/promote). How sad to be a struggling actor/actress forced to take on such a mindless role in hopes of proving oneself worthy of licking the lint off the wardrobe of some “bigger name” who offers a “better” job. I don’t think I’d feel so good about my fame and limited fortune with some undesirable commercial (or “porn”) in my history book. I sure don’t want to end up on some talk show where the host thinks it’s positively amusing to dig up that soulless garbage.

I see an add for some “tragic” disease or ailment attributed to the use of some form of modern medicine, and it features a young man or woman with his/her head in their hands. I can only imagine the photographer telling this individual to look depressed/hopeless in order to boost sales of the “cure.” If the person is genuinely afflicted by the ailment, I suppose there might be some “justice” in getting the word out. Yet, those who know the person might pester them more often rather than be of any help/support. If the person is just an actor/model…who wants to be the poster child for a potentially fatal disease?!

Every now and then, I imagine myself being “famous” and trying to be selective about what talk shows I visit while some agent insists I have to make an appearance on some crappy one lest I take a dive into fan bankruptcy. If forced to appear before some immoral/amoral host, I tell myself not to partake in their misguided amusement and verbally/publicly speak out against them if they cross my boundaries. I’d rather save the trouble of scandal and lawsuit, skip the chicken feed to maintain my overpriced and exceedingly large mansion in range of brush fires or other natural disasters and keep all relationship details hidden away like a hermit.

The more I hear of actors/actresses not wanting to watch themselves on film, seeing therapists and/or being stalked by paparazzi, the less I like the idea of “fame.” I’d like to kick all those “camera mosquitoes” where the sun doesn’t shine for harassing/disrupting the lives of these “celebrities” whether the latter ask for more attention or not. And, if they ask for cameras to risk blinding them or stealing every shred of privacy for tabloid bull crap, how sick is that? What body part do they sacrifice first to ease some twisted part of their brains? What separates the side-effects of fame from the closet habits of other mentally troubled souls who resort to “cutting” and eating disorders?

In recent years, it’s been made easier. You don’t need an agent. Just make your own or get someone to set up a plot in cyberspace and fill it with all sorts of mental dust bunnies. Do you really need to know what I eat for breakfast or what I am wearing to get through your day/life? Not unless you’re taking notes on how to be a stalker.

Seriously, what is the sense of all this excess information tracking? How is this helping people to interact peacefully or to simplify their lives? How is this beneficially entertaining unless you are actual friends with these people, sharing this information when you meet for (lunch)? In an ideal world of people struggling to ask each other out on dates, I suppose such detailed “bios” might grease the wheels with surprises of one’s favorite this or that. But, from my observation, the odds seem to be in favor of abusing/misusing provided information. At least, the “water” seems too polluted with gossip, scandal and threats to one’s life to be of any serious benefit…unless you somehow feed/live off of such vices.

But, I suppose, I could save breath, and we could all just stop exposing our eyes (and ears) to advertising/video as a whole. Ay?

Suppose, many years from now, we all want to laugh and/or cry for investing in all of these all-in-one gizmos designed to do everything from light the dark spaces under our furniture to manage our daily activities and bank accounts yet fall apart at great expense in the clumsiest of hands. Suppose we learned sooner than later not to put all of our eggs in one expensive basket and lived without tools that still rely on batteries and risk radiation poisoning with consequences yet to be fully understood/seen. Suppose we did something about filling landfills with trending garbage and sacrificing our dignity/privacy/health to false quick fixes. Suppose we said “adios” to all things internet and televised/advertised/radio-broadcasted and started focusing on producing what we needed in peace and harmony with the rest of nature. I imagine that would have some gloomy side effect of its own, unleashing some other unpleasant, dark cloud upon the masses for not submitting themselves to the questionable imagery and sales pitches.

[Now, suppose I wrote all of this for nothing and didn’t have digital/internet space to fill with these thoughts. I suppose I’d share it the old way, face-to-face, with whoever I found willing to share such thoughts in my proximity.]

If anything is to be learned from superheroes and related kids shows, it’s that–no matter how you dress it up–there will perpetually be some scum out there we have to either elude or fight off til the next crap maker comes along to pester us. The enemy doesn’t wear colorful or stereotypical costumes and/or fully disclose their diabolical plans to the world. Nor are the creatures that lurk in the shadows as dangerous as what humans can and often do inflict upon themselves/their fellow “man.” We “citizens” have to be more aware and make better decisions to save ourselves in more ways than we care to ponder.




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