Posts Tagged ‘hero

07
Nov
18

Wisconsin Needs a Hero

****

Wisconsin needs a hero…and not another name or word that ends in -ero.  Does anyone hear a violin or see any fires?

I have family in Wisconsin, USA.  And, as I am visiting and up late last night, aware of all the heated talk of politics (which seems to go nowhere…or I just have no good interest in it, anymore), I flip the channels and catch an image of the voting map around midnight last night.  And, what I saw made me nearly wake the neighborhood with my outburst.

[Of course, if you bother to look at a more current map, it’s shifted a bit, like cloud animals falling apart in the sky.  But, this was ever so apparent last night.  And, it’s too bad I didn’t have a camera or internet access at the time.]

Here.  I’ll draw you a picture.

wisconsinvotingmap-monster-midnight-nov62018-1J

Do you see it?  Please tell me you’re not suffering from poor eyesight or you only see a red mitten with blue and white flecks on it.  And, what the heck are those white triangles at the top, anyway?  Independent pyramids?  I think there’s a nuclear power plant up there somewhere.  Maybe those are like Chernobyl, and no one is alive to vote.

Yeah.  You see it now?  I’d say it’s rather apparent.

Holy fark nards!  THIS is the bad place, Eleanor.  Who needs Midnight, Texas, when you’ve got this Halloween picture?  You shouldn’t need pot brownies or one of Eric Foreman’s clan to see it.  And, yes, Jeremy Bearimy, the dot in the “I” scares the crap out of me!

I think I’ve seen that image somewhere….

wisconsinvotingmap-monster-midnight-nov62018-compared-to-sorcery-2-cover_3J

Oh, yeah.  One of my ol’ favorite mini-series.  Damn, that thing is scary.

So, as I said, Wisconsin needs a hero.  And, I think I know just the guy for the job.

wisconsinvotingmap-monster-midnight-nov62018-compared-to-sorcery-2-cover-callLink4help_4J

SO…

Help?  Anyone got an ocarina I can borrow?  Cuz I wanna catch the first magic tornado outta here and go visit some elf people in the sky.  And, I don’t want some recreational drug to take–er, pretend I’m there.

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06
Feb
17

On the Fifth Week of Valentines, Writingbolt Gave For Thee…

*****

The loving, lovely romantic (occasionally humorous or erotic) additions to the Zelda collection.  Otherwise known as…

SHE LOVES ME

We begin with the obvious, the classic love notes.  Nothing too deep to understand.  Plain and simple, they state the standards.

Followed by a series dedicated solely to the kiss, how to get one, the anticipation, the reward, etc.

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Uhp!  See?  A few of the naughtier ones slipped through the lot.  You’ll know them by the red triangles (Triforce of Power).

On that note, why don’t we just air the rest of those out, now?  [Warning:  Some of these might be more racy/lewd than you prefer.  Or not.  Enter at your own risk.]

Feeling a little sweaty or warm?  Well, cool off with these lighter notes.  See if you can find the humor in some of these.

I had so much fun with these next two images; I am giving them their own slots.

Now, for anyone who knows someone who has chosen their partner poorly, here are a few helpful warnings to pass along.

And, if you can’t pick one valentine (or Dragobete “love lock”), here are a few pleas in the spirit of sharing.

Lastly, when it’s overrr…that’s the time I…

legofzelda-valentine-tforcecourage_ep3-zelda-fabdress-wow-50c_pieceofheart-ap-57j

Ah-blee, ah-blee!  Uh, that’s all folks!…for today.  😀

 

12
Jan
17

Valentine-o-shima, Day 1

*****

I warned you some weeks ago.  I didn’t realize how crazy I’d get putting these love notes together.  But, now I am feeling a bit short of breath as I scroll the tally.  So, to help alleviate the pressure, I am releasing them in big batches, at least once a week until Valentine’s Day.  I would not be surprised if there’s still overflow into Dragobete.  But, I think I need to curb my creativity and quit while they’re over my head.  What do you think?

I am thinking I will have these up for a limited time and then need to clear the history decks so I don’t have to scroll through so many pictures in one folder to get to what I need for other posts.

Now, onto the first wave…

A Coca-Cola ad from 1998 inspired this lot.

^ All of the above are variations on one message using a few different images.  Other cards will be grouped similarly as the “explosions” unfold.

^Impatience, alerting your date/friend you are getting ready to meet with him/her, etc.

^Thanks for a good time/date and appreciation of a smiling face.

^More variations on a delay of meeting for the day, running errands, saving the world, etc.

^Various faces and good surprises, expressions of stimulation, responses to voices, admissions of love, etc.

^Mixed thoughts splashed with humor, mostly pleasant, from both male and female perspectives, when couples converse, meeting someone new, approval of someone new, etc

.

^Sharing a drink,  metaphors for drinks, refreshing compliments, etc.

^Answering the call, responding to a request/need, bursting at the seems with excitement, etc.

^Random inclusion of Taylor Swift as this face shot had her name written all over it.  🙂  You see her making this face on just about every award show commercial.

^Mixed compliments, letting someone know you’re on your way, reasons for delay, rushing to the rescue, etc.

^The odd ones that may or may not fit in other groups.

^A request to meet somewhere private to discuss feelings (particularly when you don’t want to be having a personal chat on company time), contemplating calling/contacting that new face you just met, waiting for someone new/special to contact you, a flimsy excuse for not spending time with your beloved.

^Words of warning and reasons for upheaval, a breakup on the horizon, trust/hearts broken, questioning feelings, questioning someone’s absence, asking if someone is still speaking with you, etc.

valentine2017-pianomansurprise_supermom-always-cocacola-1998-3-15c_ap-2

Phew!  That was a challenge, just trying to group and lay them all out.  It’ll take a while for the smoke to clear.  But, I hope people will appreciate the effort and make use of these.

 

16
Apr
10

Drop “Kick-Ass”; Save Heroes and Actors

When your target audience has to be horny teenage “freaks” and potential pedaphiles, “Kick-Ass” is your movie.  A high school reject running around with an eleven year-old girl and her “big daddy” committing more murder than justice “just for the fun of it” to get revenge.  If that doesn’t spell “recipe for disaster”, then it would be the inclusion of Nicholas Cage, a red flag for a bad movie if I’ve ever seen one.  I should have known better going into this.  Sexual humor and extensive violence resembling “Watchmen”(which pooped on the concept of superheroes) combined with turning Batman into the Joker before burning him with his mistake.  However, this movie has potential for anyone writing an intelligent hero vs. homemade nemesis story with human hero characters.  It is unfortunate the creators of this film chose to use such intelligent material so poorly.

 

The story starts with Dave, a high school “loser”, narrating how his life parallels that of Marvel Comics nerd Peter Parker(including a resemblance to Tobey Maguire) with some slight differences.  Including foul-mouthed social skills and a rated PG-13 way of coping with his interest in boobs.  [Kleenex associates would be dabbing their tears with pride.  Not.]  His reputation paired with his sorry excuses for friends turns him to the life of a superhero.  With no powers and internet access, he is able to acquire the gear necessary to start a phone cam craze.  It also takes the breaking of every one of his bones and a Wolverine surgery to get him…somewhere.  And, what would such a Spider-Man rip-off story be without a crime boss who is being hounded by a real life Batman wannabe(down to the utility belt and bat-like cowl) and his tiny little daughter.  [Can we say copyright infringement?]  Throw in a redhead who thinks our “hero” is gay, and the cast is complete.  The mob boss has a son(cue “Mclovin” of “Superbad” de-fame) who eagerly wants in on daddy’s business.  And, when he is done going through the steps to get there, he is left with the business soley in his hands and ready to start a life as a “super villain”.  [That’s right.  I have fairly well outlined the entire story.]

 

If I haven’t peppered this movie with enough “bullets”, I would like to reassure you that despite the impressive action sequences and thought-provoking moments which all good hero movies demand, there is enough stupidity and disturbing material to give any moral, sensible hero fan a headache.  The message of the film seems to be making anyone who ever thinks of being a superhero or reading a comic book about one feel stupid and like a freak.  And, then it encourages such stupidity and “freakdom” while pooping on the concept of a superhero.  “Big Daddy” is everything Batman isn’t.  And, though that is original in a way, it’s just another sad Night Owl.  Though one might think it possible and try these stunts themselves, the movie makes it clear that you would still need unreal circumstances(surgery, millions in stolen money or an army of hitmen and/or heavy artillery) to achieve anything other than dying a miserable death. 

 

Some might call it a Public Service Announcement to “not try this at home”.  Some might call it “f’n stupid funny”.  I prefer to call it perverse and reasonably stupid.  But, again, there is potential and bits that make for a good story.  I just don’t want to see them handled by a pre-teen and a madman bent on revenge over a simple framing case.  And, if the cast of this film is not sentenced to a lousy death in acting, they sure have given their careers a big bruise.  [Save Mclovin.]

 

While I try to shake the red mist that is blood from my mind, I will give “Kick-Ass”(rightfully rated R at a potentially ridiculous 2 hours in length) 2 stars out of 5(1.5 out of 4).  At best, I’d recommend it as a rental.  That way you may fast foward past the parts that bother you and try to grasp some of the more intelligent hero movie elements which often go missing or fail to be delivered with the proper filming.  I would hate for films like this to make matters worse for comic book fans and turn more people into “monsters”.

 

–writingbolt, free-lance and human movie critic without commercial bias
[There were no intelligent quotes that weren’t ripped from another story.  Unfortunately.]




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