Posts Tagged ‘help

19
Apr
18

Can’t Remove Unwanted Follow-ers?!

***

Congrats, WordPress.  You’ve done it, again.  One more thing that doesn’t work when I try it.

You’d think by having the latest computer tech that everything would be up to speed, but that’s not the case.

What am I complaining about, now?

I finally figure out there’s an option to Remove unwanted Follow-ers, namely ones I know are not actually interested in my blog for reasons other than stalking and marketing purposes, and the damn thing won’t work!  I can delete people I know are legitimate and nice enough (probably; I’m not going to chance it).  But, when I wave the cursor over the “bad ones,” it doesn’t always show the hand or register a click.  And, instead, I get a “Stop Script” error message about WordPress not functioning properly.  And, after that, everything starts freezing up, and soon portions of the page disappear.  I can’t log out or anything.  So, I close the window, reopen and have to log in, again.

Tons of fun!  NOT.

For all I know, it’s the scammers/phishers sending me spam and racking up views on that stinky post I made.  I have a strong suspicion the trouble is coming from the Ukraine.

I want the stalkers and scammers/phishers off my reader list.  Do I name names and get someone else to do it?

02
Mar
18

A Family Imbalanced

****

I am, once again, working through some deep-seeded feelings and–if you the reader so decide to give it–get some input.  In this age of short attention spans, I consider it amazing if the average reader can digest all I have to say.  [So, pat yourself on the back if you do.  And, if you’ve read similar thoughts in previous posts of mine, bare with me; it wouldn’t surprise me if I repeated.

NOTE:  If all you do is click LIKE on this post, I will be annoyed because I don’t know what you hope to achieve by doing that.  And, I will feel like a spectacle, standing in public in my underwear.

What inspired this purging of the soul?  Recent events in which I have been giving much of my time and energy to my family and seen little in return.  Sometimes my offers of assistance and input are rejected, with or without mention of how I should live my life differently.  That reaction seems to run in the family (myself included, under certain circumstances).  I just wish someone would step up and say, “Now, what can I do to help YOU?” Or, “How are you coming with ___?  Need any help?”

I seem to be more willing to help my family (and anyone who triggers sympathy in me) than they are willing (and/or able) to help me.  Granted, they have loaded their hands with fairly full lives of their own while I struggle to “get myself together.”  I cannot offer much more than my helping hands, remaining mobility, “over-thinking” and sympathetic brain (for working out all of those little mental wrinkles that plague those with failing memories or certain problems that need solving)…and patience.  And, if a member of my family did anything that shocked or upset my “code,” I might be less willing to offer help.

[IE If someone chose to get drunk and go broke, I might have a hard time offering financial or even emotional support.  That is, in part, because I’ve never let myself be so careless and cannot relate; I don’t feel like I have the “coping skills” to deal with that situation.  I could easily hand over money and risk leaving myself in financial danger, but I am resistant–for whatever reason–to do so.  And, I’ll get more into that sort of situation in a moment.]

It’s actually somewhat amazing I am willing to help my family, at all, when, some years ago, I was at a serious crossroads with the core of my being, and my family essentially looked the other way, treating me like a misfit of society who didn’t want to “go with the flow.”  [Which is ironic after years of chasing fads only to be told this behavior was costly and pointless.]  I realize solitude and defending myself so long has depleted my resistance and left me more in need of human contact and cooperation.

Long ago, in my late teens, I wanted a fresh start, a makeover of sorts.  And, if anyone supported the entities that rubbed me the wrong way, I withdrew from those supporters to defend myself, rather than accept people simply telling me I am crazy for being so troubled by something they saw as harmless.  [This came with trusting professionals with my life and feeling my life was threatened by those professionals.]  All I knew at the time was I needed to purge my being of what felt like a serious mistake, similar to atoning for a sin.  And, my family, my foundation, my roots, stood in the way.

[You might hear or read sources that say you should “be” and “love” yourself.  I have felt unable to do that thoroughly because I continually run into opposition, including family.  If you like metaphors, it’s sort of like being a young bird wanting to fly and having your wings either torn to shreds or weakened by lack of proper nutrition.]

Now, this endured for many years, me unable to trust my family with just about anything and feeling misunderstood.  I had no privacy, no freedom to maintain a room of my own (design) as I saw fit.  [If I left the house, I’d return home many days to find my possessions rearranged, altered or missing.  Thus, each time I wanted to leave home, I couldn’t help being concerned and was denied the option to use locks to secure my space.]  I survived by doing what I had been told to do since I was little…keep myself busy.  But, this wasn’t advancing my life in any good way I could see.  When I wanted to have “adult” discussions, no one could cope with my rapid-firing concerns/hesitation.  And, if they felt like bringing up old news–like that time I was trying to put behind me–any chance of cooperation went down in emotional flames rather quickly.

[Again, ironic, considering another member of the immediate family has had several makeovers and never once had to worry about his own room being invaded/rearranged.]

A bothersome pattern involves me buckling whenever I hesitate to try/do something and seek input from family.  I’m reluctant to ask, worrying about the response I may get.  And, if the response comes with some measure of judgment, objection, insult/offense or resistance, I give up the quest for assistance/input and recoil into a troubling state of helplessness.

Add to this my inability to do just about anything for myself, including stepping outside my comfort zone (if you can even call what I had comforting) to meet new people, to socialize, and I am a rather handicapped individual going nowhere.  Before I stopped going (and began fighting to defend my decision), I couldn’t even go to mass/church with family without feeling lacking in their acceptance, feeling a bit like a reject and enemy.  The church was supposed to be my sanctuary, and it couldn’t be; not with my family and social anxieties.

This is just the tip of the emotional iceberg.  And, after giving these thoughts a few hours of my time, I am feeling lost in thought and depleted.  So, without knowing what else to say, I will stop here.  If I feel up to it, later, I will revise/add to these thoughts.

* I am writing this in addition to a previous post about lacking love and friendship. *

 

07
Sep
17

It has a name…a floater!…or is it?

***

So, I went for an eye exam.  And, I asked the doc about this spot that appears in my one eye when I blink under certain light conditions, usually when my focus is up close and in lower light, often at the computer or in the shower.  It can make straight lines look wobbly.  In a blink, it appears–well, it has changed shape in two years.  It started out as a speckled oval, then a jagged oval, then an oval with a frame, and, most recently, it looks like a small black moon in one corner of a white sun.  And, if I look in a mirror, I can periodically see a yellowish oval or gash at the top of the iris.

The doc said it’s a floater and that it could either work itself out (though he didn’t sound too confident about that) or multiply over time.  He said it’s often brought upon by trauma to the eye/body.  And, he said it shouldn’t be a concern; so get used to it.

[But, it concerns me because it can really get annoying and distort my vision.  As an artist and a perfectionist, it could really be unsettling to go on this way!  It messes with my eye color and could ruin my ability to appreciate the beauty of things I see or make accurate judgments.]

While he did give me an ounce of reassurance–and I want to stay optimistic–I just decided to see what I could find online about this.  But, most of the videos I find speak of floaters as those tiny specks or strings you see float by the eye when you move your eye out of focus.  I know those are likely harmless.  I thought those were worth concern when the doc asked me the last time if they were a problem.  He also mentioned seeing spots.  Well, now, I’d say there is a spot, but it’s not whizzing by my eye.

The doc also handed me a “fine” eye health report, saying I don’t even need glasses, for now.  Well, that’s great!…except.  There’s that thing in my eye that looks like a burn in a film strip sometimes when I blink and a yellow spot in the mirror.

As I poke around the web, I found something on CSR, central serious retinopathy.  And, while I am rather certain what I have is not at the back of the eye, the spot I see when I blink DOES seem to match the images I found, resembling a sort of pitted olive.

The best solutions I can find speak of either lens replacement, gel replacement/extraction or laser surgery.  And, the side effects could be more fatal than putting up with the distortion and seeing what happens.

So, what is it?  And, how do I deal with it?

I wrote about this some time ago.  But, I am still curious if anyone is familiar with such a distortion and any treatment they may have received/tried.

 

02
Feb
17

WordPress!! My Contact Me Page Is Not Working!

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Okay, you WordPress cogs.  What’s the deal with my Contact Me form/page?  Someone has told me they can send links/messages to their own mailbox.  I have people visiting my page; but I get no letters/notes.  I even sent myself a note; but it did not arrive in the mailbox.

I feel like every week I am sitting in a leaky submarine and having to fetch waterproofing tape when a new glitch appears.  It gets tiresome, fast.

12
Jan
17

Blurred Text? Help, please.

*****

I wake up to find my laptop computer suffering a case of crimped text. It’s like the letters are blurring and squishing together in places.  It’s sort of like when you adjust the size of things on the screen by holding Control and scrolling, but when I try that, other letters turn funny.  I thought it might just be the site, but it’s not.

I haven’t made any major changes to anything in a while.  I just keep working on my usual simple text and art projects.  I didn’t get time, yet, to do any extensive research into this. But, I did see various pages on this happening with different versions of Windows; so it seems common enough.  Yet, the pages I glanced over were dated over a year ago; and I don’t know if that matters.

Any advice/help would be appreciated.

09
Jan
17

Argh! What and Where Is That Beer Commercial?!

****

It’s in my head, again.  An old beer commercial.  I thought it was Budweiser.  But, now I am thinking it’s Miller Lite.  CAN ANYONE HELP ME FIND THIS?!

Okay, so the commercial starts with a couple at a bar/club in the 50s or 60s.  As they get up and dance, their outfits change to meet the disco era/70s.  And, the longer they dance, the more time periods they pass through until the pitch line and a scene of the future in which the woman has a necklace that is floating around her neck like orbiting asteroids.  I’m pretty sure the phrase, “I like it like that,” is repeated a few times during the ad, which seems to fit Miller Lite.

Name and locate this ad!  Please.  So I can relieve the nagging pulse in my head.  [I even tried to record this ad once back when I still used a VCR.]  I’d peg it as somewhere between 1992 and 1998.  But, I could be off.

11
Nov
15

Eye Think Eye Am Going to Cry

*****

The hits keep coming.

So, I’ve been having trouble reading off and on for a few months, I think.  Every so often, I see double or have trouble focusing.  I usually chalk it up to overuse and try to take more breaks to rest my eyes.

I can’t remember exactly when I had my last eye exam, but I was told I would need a weaker prescription (which sounded odd) until I MIGHT need bifocals in a few years.

Now, I wake up this morning, and, as I am sitting at the PC, I find my eyes crossing a bit as they have been the past few days…or maybe weeks?  I am not sure.  I tried putting one hand over each eye as a test.  My left eye is clear…but the right is a bit blurry.  And, as I lower my right eyelid, I notice a dark oval.  I looked in a mirror and could see a yellow area near the top of the iris.

Please, don’t tell me…

But, if you reader(s) know what this means, do tell your diagnosis and any suggestions of how to remedy the problem (preferably without surgery).

I am really racking up the problems this year…and it’s bringing me down to the breaking point.  It’s really hard getting up every morning and feeling like socializing with anyone.  I feel hideous.

05
Oct
15

What? Who? Is “Ferlindo”?

Help me out here, people.  I was watching this corny and very dated yet wonderful to watch old 70s game show, Celebrity Bowling, and there was an episode featuring Lois Nettleton (who among other roles was Mrs. Enright, the mom who catches George eating out of the garbage on Seinfeld) wearing a white T-shirt bearing the word “FERLINDO.”  Now, if I am right, this same word or name appeared in an episode of Benny Hill when a woman harassed by men on a bus stop turns into a green she-hulk.

Does ANYONE know what this FERLINDO is/means?

PS I did a quick online search and came up with nothing so far.

08
Dec
14

One Person’s Quirk Is Okay with Another

I like to think of myself as a multifaceted therapist. I’m a great back massage giver. I call them magic fingers. I haven’t done much with it, but I consider myself a decent art therapist (using art exercises to help people work through their “mental clutter”). And, I’ve been a decent listener most of my life without collecting $75-250 an hour for my time and saying very little.

But, here I am catching a few minutes of one goofy talk show in a million and hearing these “professionals” tell people with quirks that bother them that they should get help…and all I want to say is, “I don’t mind that quirk. I think it’s kinda cute. It’s unique and refreshing.”

And, isn’t that okay? Aren’t our quirks okay? Or, is every little odd/unique thing we do automatically a reason to sound the therapist/nut house alarm?

Warning: I’m about to rant. So, if you suffer from a “short attention span,” you may want to skip down past the partitioned section to the wrap-up.

———————

That’s ridiculous! It’s a quirk. It was probably caused by conditioning from exposure to some particular behavior from other people…whether that’s family, classmates or coworkers. And, all it takes to get out of that “kink” is to adjust yourself to someone new who makes you more comfortable. Until then, any conditioning therapy is going to be like slapping a smoker on the wrist to make them quit. You might force change, but will that make you feel better or just break the habit? Will you feel good about changing yourself or just comply with one more reprimand from peers? Is peer pressure a prescription for costly therapy and/or hazardous medication?

If you ask a “professional” outside the office, I am sure they’d love to set you up with a session schedule if they are starved for clients. But, once you get in that office, if they tell you your quirk is just part of you that you need to accept, what are you paying them for? And, if they recommend treatment or pills, what are you doing in that crazy person’s office??

A “professional” cannot replace family and friends the person really needs who will likely know more about the person rather than have them have to dig up aaaaall the history anew for some total stranger collecting a steep hourly fee. And, if you add up all the hours it would take to go through all that family history to get the “professional” up to speed, how much do you suspect that would cost?

Have you ever heard these expressions?

If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

I am so sick and tired of what some consider a weakness or strange being sufficient reason for telling someone to “get help.” It’s bad enough kids get bullied in school for having a big head or small frame or a lack of a good role model/sport coach or extra body fat.

Well, guess what.

I suffer from poor self-confidence.

I grew up with a small frame and a big head for which I was frequently pestered.

I was bullied.

I had a fifth grade teacher who couldn’t stop clearing her throat; so I started doing it reflexively, and it took a whole year to break the habit. These things happen. The same way we pick up and lose accents when we live among different cultures.

I have lost some hair in places, and it makes me uncomfortable.

I wear eyeglasses, and they make me feel crippled; but I cannot see myself ever using contact lenses without infecting my eyes because my hands are too busy to be that clean when needed.

And, ya know what else?

If you’re kinda quiet, shy or humble (not as bold, confident and daring as the people around you), that’s just fine. I won’t mind.

If you feel the need to pick your nose, you’re human. Just do it when I am not looking and clean those fingers, after.

If you burp for whatever reason, an “Excuse me” is wonderful. But, I won’t think you rude or weird if you forget.

If you wear two different socks, is that such a big deal?

[I think I’ve said some of these before. And, it wouldn’t surprise me if you found them among older posts (like the “looking for love and happiness” ones where I state my “dating preferences”). There are habits I don’t like, including some people who talk incessantly without conscience as if they can’t tell when someone isn’t genuinely listening to them…yet they keep talking even as I walk away. But, if I wasn’t quirk tolerant, I don’t think I’d find someone like Zooey Deschanel appealing, at all.]

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If you have a quirk, some habit that is unusual to others, it doesn’t mean you are mentally ill or unworthy of someone’s affection/attention. It may be annoying to some, but I’d prefer not to think it bothers EVERYONE. And, if your chosen spouse or mate happens to be bothered by it, maybe you’re hanging with the wrong tree. Ya know?

Every piece of the big picture puzzle fits somewhere. It just may be more difficult to find their place for some (myself included). It doesn’t mean we cut off our “bumps” to fit better. But, if YOU don’t like some aspect of yourself, it’s your call to change/fix it.

[Gosh, I get worked up when “professionals” turn nature into costly experiments.]




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