Posts Tagged ‘food


Food for Thought…the Sensuality of Food


Now, stop right where you are if you think I am even attempting to write some sort of Fifty Shades of Food Porn.  I am not.   I am just going to make a “brief” statement…and then, later, maybe, expand upon it as thoughts come to me…about how food is not just for eating and/or replenishing the energy we use to perform certain physical functions.

This may not be a mind-blower to many of you.

But, have you considered how food (including all the “junk” you stuff down your throats) is more than the stuff that…you…stuff down your throats…to satisfy what the average person understands as hunger?

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “brain food.”  Yes?  You acknowledge how certain foods are used to “fuel the brain” (not the stomach).  ‘Ever thought about that?  About why that food impacts your mind’s ability to function?  It’s SENSORY.  It’s SENSUAL.

It affects the senses.  It’s not just what makes you happy when you’re sad (like the pint of ice cream or chocolate used by, typically, a woman in emotional distress after some relationship-related conflict, whether that’s a romantic, family or work-related conflict).  It’s not just what gives your brain that buzz it needs to stay “focused” on work (or whatever you do otherwise creatively).

It’s a smell that sticks in your mind and can sell you on more of the same food every time you smell, hear, see or think of it.  It stains your clothes and your memory; and those stains can affect your ability to function, throw you off “your game” and make you self-conscious or distracted at a crucial moment.  It conjures thoughts, reminding you of the best ice cream you ever had how long ago, like remembering a lost friend or lover.  Money may be the root of evil and make the world go ’round.  But, food is as effective as music at messing with the mind.  [You tell me, travelers who get around more than I do, how much food appears in hieroglyphics and other old paintings.]

You don’t even have to EAT food to be filled or made hungry by it.  How does food make you hunger for it?  And, how can you be satisfied by food without eating it?  Think about that.

Why do artists bother with recreating bowls of fruit?  I never understood it.  I never enjoyed it…unless I could turn the fruit into cartoon characters with silly faces.  But, now, I think I get it.  It’s because the food is speaking to the artist who enjoys recreating it.  It’s, in a slightly different way, brain food.

When you’re in a movie theater chugging back sodas and snacks, why do you mindlessly do so?  Well, there’s another concept at play, there.  It’s what the theaters relish to see, people turning off their hunger meters to ride the E of mindless entertainment, or ME.  You don’t think about or likely even smell what goes in your mouth when your minds are racing to process what’s on the screen.

Yet, something compels you to buy the snacks (or sneak your own under your clothes) and stuff your face until you might feel the urge to get refills.  Why?  In part, because you convince yourselves the food matters.  But, in another part, the food is having a sensual impact on your mind.  The crunch of popcorn.  The cool, icy sweetness of a good soda.  The stimulation and labor of teeth and gums on chewy candy.  It’s like an orgy in your mouth; it’s like an R-rated movie playing out while you watch…I dunno…Frozen part 52 with your sister’s kids.  One eye is watching a snowman dance and sing with little kids while your mouth is doing the apple-mango tango with highly processed popcorn and other snacks.  You just tune out the orgasmic moans and panting to hear the next kid-friendly song.

So, the next time you’re irritated by the fuzz on a peach or tell someone you don’t like a particular food for whatever reason…think about those reasons and how your body reacts to various foods.  You’re not just eating the food.  You’re smelling, touching, eyeballing and even hearing the sounds given off by the food.

And, your reaction to those sensual aspects affects your daily activity.  In it’s own deceptive way, food can hold power over you, if you let it.  After all, don’t dieters often enough say they are taking a “cheat day?”

[Didn’t a racoon, played by Bruce Willis, give a similar speech to this in Over the Hedge, when he tries to sell the concept of looting to the turtle?]

Food for thought.  [Ka-runch.]


Mad Guide to Living Your Life Better, August 2019 issue


Pop a happy pill and drink some water before entering this matrix.


Every so often, there’s a new pitch for how to live your life better than you already are. And, often enough, the pitch switches sides, telling you what you previously thought is now wrong. For example, too much coffee…or, later, any coffee is not good for you. Then, turn around a few times, and it’s recommended for this and/or that benefit. And, that’s just the tip of the shit-berg.

Have I said this before? Coffee?

You may have heard gluten is bad…for some, anyway. And, the world screams as it changes all of its labels to read GLUTEN FREE PRODUCT, whether you’re buying cereal or sunglasses. [You think that’s crazy until you find rubber boots that can cause the big bad C and require warnings from certain states, telling people to buy and wear them at their own risk.]

Sunglasses. Now, those have been around for some time. But, did you know you should be wearing the best protective sort every single day to protect and prolong your life? [Did you know we are mole people and should be living underground to get away from the big bad sun which we need for vitamins and sanity but can also kill us?]

Did you know dangerous rays are all over the world and constantly threatening you? Do you have sunglasses as big as radar dishes covering your face? Well, you should. And, sadly–sorry, ex-military businessman with the nifty sales pitch in each of his different product ads–there’s nothing on the market that big, today. Latest news reports say you should be wearing big, goofy shades with 100% UV protection even on cloudy days, when people I meet think I am silly for wearing them. [I wear them on some cloudy days just because I suffer from social anxiety, in part due to poor distance vision which denies me from seeing some faces clearly.]

And, what goes into just about every pair of sunglasses? Plastic. And, plastic, lately, is getting a bad rap in the USA for being low on recycle-ability. I guess it has something to do with international relations, particularly China.

Plastic is quickly becoming a landfill and water supply hazard (while more and more people pitch frivolous kids’ products all made with some kind of synthetic fiber and/or plastic in this age of “everyone’s an online salesperson looking for a buck to party”). Which is kinda ironic, considering the push for plastic and recycling which so many if not all of us bought into all these years. Heck. We just recently invented plastic printers for making layer-upon-layer of goop to fabricate fun little things we never thought possible that way.

So, now, celebs are jumping on the aluminum bandwagon, again. Aluminum, in. Plastic, out.

Canned water? Unbelievable.  I’ve already had canned water.  Someone I know calls it “La Crotch.”  As if bottled water wasn’t sad enough. We might as well carry canteens everywhere; canteens outfitted with water filters. Hmm…..

If that’s too heavy for you, you should know that optimism is important to prolonging your life, some study says just to fill air time on the local/world news. Good to know. Right? But, pull up your pants and spit out your gum. Because, wait; there’s more.

Many of you out there are of the mindset that a vegetarian/vegan diet is the way to go; and poo on us meat eaters for slaughtering intelligent life. Cows have feelings, ya know! Well, recent reports say a vegan diet lacks certain nutrients key to brain health (including B12?). So, if you don’t eat your meat, you might lose your mind.

That reminds me. I have a chicken sandwich waiting for me…in a plastic container. Uh oh. No. Not the plastic. Well, yes, right now that plastic is a problem. But, so is the chicken. I don’t know if that’s a naturally raised chicken or one from a lab. I thought it was bad enough when I heard chickens were being pumped full of stuff to make them bust-ier for more meat on the bone. But, now I hear chickens are being made in test tubes because farmers can’t cope with raising them the old-fashion way anymore?

What the freak have we become when we no longer hunt or raise animals according to the laws of nature? Are we those freakish movie vampires that keep humans in giant blood bags to harvest blood? What’s next? Synthetic cow meat? Mutant strawberries? [Well, we already have those…just without the abilities to moan and walk.]

Let me just pause right there and scream for a minute at the thought of all human food coming from laboratories and/or factories. How F’d up does the planet have to be for that? Why are we prolonging the inevitable? Why not just nuke the whole thing and call it done?

Why are we waiting for the next big celebrity break-up song, pointless award show or waste-of-time-and-money charity (aka tax write-off) game show? Do I really need the lovely Taylor Alison Swift to tell me we are never, never, never putting this Humpty-Dumpty world back together? Why are we looking at Mars or wasting our time here? Mars is not going to be better than this if we are just as stupid as we are tomorrow.

You’d think I’d say “as smart as we are today,” but how smart do we really project ourselves? We keep thinking we’ll be smarter…and then something else stupid happens to make us think otherwise (or that’s just how modern man keeps pitching things to keep everyone scared little cattle chasing fool’s gold and feeding the wealthy).

Tree of knowledge? No, dumbasses. It was the tree of foolishness that made us think we were pursuing progress. We’re so far removed from nature that we can’t see the shit on our faces.

And, what about the big marijuana and vaping crazes? While many claim both are not smoking old-fashion cigarettes and fair to your health, recent reports say no marijuana is safe for minors and pregnant women. And, vaping is as bad or worse than the old cigarettes…for some reason, due to a marijuana ingredient? [Wha? T-That’s ridiculous!] So, if you are a stressed out pregnant woman looking to ease your mind, you already can’t drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. And, now, marijuana is out. So, find yourself a hand to mutilate and go to town on that poor soul.

But, remember to be optimistic and live longer. Because you’ll want to live longer to buy more stuff to protect that longer life to buy more stuff and live a longer life until you can no longer lift your fingers and need a robot body to take over, buying replacement parts to live a longer life and buy more stuff to protect its hardware and software. Because, down the road, you know they’re going to have concerns for gluten-ous viruses and hazardous app drugs corrupting hard drives everywhere.

So, be sure to advise your future robot self to stay optimistic…if optimism is even a thing, by then, and not replaced with “optimalism.” You know…like optimizing your computer when it’s newly bought, taking out all the cheap promotional stuff that slows it down like a boot on a car. Nutty sales gimmicks.

[You may scream, now. And then, get happy.]

Live long and stay optimistic, mad world dwellers! Or, live fast, cheap and die happy. No suicides….be-hecause that would be crazy! I mean, you were brought into this world. You might as well get your money’s worth. Just try not to breathe too deep, run too fast or fly too close to the sun. Oh. And, ignore that tree over there.


Mama MIA! Are You Hungry for Some Loving?


Although I just posted…debuted a new holiday for single, divorced and/or widowed folks to beat the romantic holiday blues, I still hold a torch for everything romantic, including Valentine’s Day (even if I rarely get to enjoy it).  I find joy in crafting these loving, serious and sometimes funny cards, taking my mind off my status or circumstances.  Hopefully, they continue to spread good vibes among those who find them like leaves falling from my tree.

With that, here is my first wave of ORIGINAL digital art pieces for this year (not my usual cartoon-incorporated images).

This first lot is food and/or drink related.

Next, I have some general/misc. hearts with similar designs and messages.


Stocking Madness, Day 10


Here comes the final big wave before St. Nick’s special day.  OMFCRAAAFTS!  HOLIDAY-DO-KEN!



  1. Chocolate-covered Cherry
  2. Pizza
  3. Sugar Overload Gingerbread Cookie [See the other stocking posts for more cookie examples.]
  4. Peppermint Legnog/Cup of Good Cheer (Green Mug)
  5. Gummy Worms
  6. Chocolate-covered Strawberry
  7. Berries’n’Cream
  8. Strawberry
  9. Frothy Root Beer Mug (Glass)
  10. Peanut Butter Jar
  11. Jelly Jar
  12. Frothy Hot Cocoa (Peppermint Mug)
  13. Frothy Hot Cocoa (Ho Ho Ho Mug)
  14. Honey Pot
  15. Frothy Legnog (Metal Stein)
  16. Legnog (Glass Mug)



  1. Pajama Foot (Man), Plain/Red Diamond Stitch, Holly Berry/Red Gingham and Argyle
  2. Christmas Angel (Woman)
  3.  Pajama Foot (woman), Holly Berry/Pink Plaid
  4. Ballerina (Pink)
  5. Ballerina (Red/Holly Berry)
  6. Polka Dot (Accordion) Footnote (Expandable/Musical; press note to hear music)
  7. Paper Lantern (Japanese Maple print; Note/Card attachment)
  8. Holiday Cast (for a suffering/sick friend)/Break a Leg (good theater luck wish)
  9. Grape Masher/Wine Maker (for those living in warm areas that may not get snow)
  10. Eternia Wizard/Orko (He-Man)
  11. Ballerina (Red/White/Legwarmer/Holly Berry)
  12. (Weiner) Dog Cozy





Welcome to the Food Chain, the Danger of a Vegetarian Mankind

Stop me if you’ve heard/read this one, before.

A strangely funny thought came to me today as I thought about my diet and all the people pushing for mankind to go “vegan” or vegetarian.

What if we humans DID all go vegetarian?

Think of prehistoric times. Wouldn’t the food supply suffer? Wouldn’t competition over food grow not just between humans but with all of the other creatures that eat plants? Wouldn’t more starve and die when they can’t get their fill?

And, here’s the real “kicker,” folks.

Did ya ever stop to think the only reason there aren’t too many predators attacking humans is because they are too afraid of what people eat?

Who wants to ingest a man packed with so many trans-fats and chemicals that put him at risk of a dozen medical mishaps and/or diseases? Forget germs. Humans pollute themselves with what they ingest (whether it’s medicinal or gastronomical). Why risk a lion’s life with that when the big cat can sink its teeth into a grass-fed antelope?

Just think…

If every human becomes an “organic” vegetarian, won’t all those predators–who still like to hunt and eat meat just fine, by the way–start adjusting their menu?

Hmm. I was going to have the corn-fed pig. But, that salad-filled human sounds good. I think I will go with that.

Very good, sir. Excellent choice.

Welcome to the food chain, ye who shun meat.


What Is Your Turkey Substitute for Thanksgiving?

I am bringing this question to the table for vegetarians and those who might go without a turkey this year alike.


If you do not cook/serve a turkey this year, what is your substitute for the centerpiece of the feast?

You can answer here or in my Chat Cafe space where I have also placed the question for discussion and you may find some minor art pieces.


What I Look For in a Woman


I don’t have a specific type. I have loved all shapes, colors and sizes. However, I do have some general preferences (which may lean toward specifics that are essentially “ideals” to shoot for and not expectations).


As long as you’re not a minor or more than…I’d say 14 years my junior or 24 years my senior, you should be okay. [Astrology is important in some cases. Not so much if you are closer in age. Mental/Emotional/Social compatibility is also key.] Personally, I’d prefer it if you were between 8 years younger and 12 years older. One of my fears is dying too soon and leaving my chosen lover to find another man. I don’t like the idea of being a number.


As long as you’re not an atheist (unless you consider Buddhism atheism)…practicing Wicca/Scientology…or unable to put religious rules aside of love, you should be okay. I don’t otherwise care if you’re Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, etc. Just don’t try to threaten or convert me (or anyone else) by force. As for politics, if you are strict in your political views (most often because a family raises a child this way) and prefer to wave flags than be open to examining both sides, we’re bound to clash.


Generally, I prefer TALL brunettes with NATURAL dark brown HAIR. [Natural hair is the key word. No dye jobs or hair pieces unless you’re clean shaven for good reason. But, I am not opposed to red, “raven-haired” or lighter blonde women. I just don’t care much for “dirty” or dark blondes.] As for height, anyone 5 ft. 5 in. (165 cm) or taller is okay. But, ideally, I’d like someone in the 5 ft. 8 to 6 ft. range (172 cm plus).
I look at the FACE and upper body mostly. [I don’t stress too much about your lower half or overall shape as long as you are in GOOD HEALTH and able to keep up with me physically. I’ve met some chubby women who can run faster than me. So, that tells you something:P But, do keep up. I walk fast.] I look warm and/or striking EYES with (typically) average EYEBROWS (not to thick or wire thin). I look for a “cute” (slender) NOSE with curled tip, ideally. I like fuller (rather than thinner/broader) LIPS to compliment my own, something I can really kiss with passion and that doesn’t look bad with lipstick (though I prefer you don’t wear it).
This verges into interests, but I like/want a woman who isn’t afraid to wear COSTUMES. She should be comfortable wearing silly and sophisticated HATS and dressing up in character now and then (not every month if that’s what worries you). [I am big on having fun on Halloween…not scaring people or making them sick. No evil/gross monsters.] If you find this childish or improper, look elsewhere for your man.


[This is difficult, going into specifics. In general, consider the details for myself and be sure yours are compatible/manageable. Ideally, you are rather reserved/polite in public while keeping your “wild side” secret until you and I are alone at home (or out somewhere together).]

“The Rules of Mood/Anger Management”:

1) If you are angry, either “go to your corner” (preferably after explaining your exit) or insist we work it out properly…preferably playfully with padded boxing gloves, pillows or other wrestling tools to blow off steam without an excess of physical/emotional injury. 2) Though it is preferred we do not go to bed angry/upset, if you need to or must, let us sleep in separate rooms for the night. There’s no need to share an angry bed and struggle with sleep. 3) Neither partner may refuse to hear the other partner’s side though each may lose self-control in a rant. Both sides must be given adequate time to speak/express. And, any denial of something addressed by the other is open for discussion. Both sides must be or be made aware of their own refusal to see something and/or resort to self-analysis/meditation to come to grips with this. 4) Hitting–though not preferred–is permitted provided no injury is inflicted except in extreme cases (typically self-defense against an abusive spouse…which should not be a case for us). Weapons of any kind (other than words, hands and/or feet) are inappropriate. 5) As my partner, you are free to have your temper/moods. But, you will not be found crying in private when I am available to shoulder your tears or discuss your feelings. Nor will you force me to discuss/express feelings when I am busy with something else at the time. We will agree upon/schedule a meeting of moods if necessary.


[Preferably…] You do not have a circle of male friends (especially not exes you can’t seem to release). [Nor do I hang out with women I’ve been with intimately without your approval or, preferably, presence.] You don’t have to have many (or any) female friends. But, you and I will be accepting of acquaintances both male and female without sexual tension/history. If either of us has sexual history with someone we visit, it should be discussed upfront early in the relationship. [Personally, I am not comfortable with a woman hanging out with a guy she slept with previously. That puts excessive pressure on my trust.]


[See the details I have listed under ME.]

1) You do not encourage/insist upon/engage in oral and/or public sex. 2) You do not set rules for scheduling sex during dates. [IE No sex before the third date. Sex on the fourth date is mandatory.] 3) You do not respect my concerns for casual sex while dating other guys and sleeping with them as you please. [Wouldn’t that seem just a tad cruel/unfair?] 4) You do not compare me to an ex/other date in terms of sexual performance or any other “skill”. [IE My last boyfriend ___ed more with me. You’re not as good at __ing as my ex.] 5) You do not have an ex that shares my name. I do not want to be a bad repeat or second try. 6) Likewise, if you’ve dated other guys with an astrological sign that matches one of mine, try not to bring it up in discussion unless I specifically want to discuss history. 7) You do not keep ex lovers as close friends unless they are other women (you “experimented” with). There will never be a time when you are alone with another man who has had such contact with you. The risk is too high. It goes beyond the natural bounds of trust and veers into “an open relationship”. 8) You do not initiate sex through temptation without ensuring safety precautions have been put in play. If we are having “careless” sex, we had best be prepared for the possible outcomes. [If ya know what I mean.] 9) You do not expect a regular schedule of sex/intimacy. I am not a machine. [Yeah; yeah; I know.] If one of our “systems” runs at a higher speed than the other, we work out other means of dealing with this or do not engage in a sexual relationship, at all.

In regards to money/spending/saving…and this could get touchy/ugly…I will simply say that I prefer a woman who is not materialistic or as likely to collect as me. I have a big enough problem limiting myself when I get carried away. I need to reduce my inventory and keep things simple to make moving/relocating/travel easier. I don’t want or need someone with “a hundred ceramic hippos” competing for storage space or requiring a moving crew. However, if you are have a closet of costumes or are avid reader/bookworm and have a few shelves of books, that’s fine. I might even like to share. One other rule I have about money/spending…DO NOT ever find yourself shopping and telling yourself/someone else, “I better get home quick and sneak this in the house before my man gets home.” If you are sneaking purchases into our space to avoid confrontation, you will be sorely mistaken and feel/hear my wrath. Deception is a no-no.


[If you don’t know or care to know about it, it might be good/nice to look into it a little.] I have little tolerance for/luck with the following sun/birth signs: Leo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces, Virgo and Gemini. I have good odds with: Sagittarius, Aries, Taurus, Libra and “Krabulus”(the crab). More importantly, look for your moon, rising, Venus and Mars signs. Ideally, you have one of the following in Venus: Aries, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius or Aquarius.
You have one of the following in Mars: Capricorn, “Krabulus”(the crab), Leo or Scorpio.
You are one of the following Chinese astrology years/animals: Dog, Snake, Sheep, Pig, Rabbit, Tiger or Ox.
[Here are some preferred/ideal pairings of the above: Aquarius Ox 1973, Taurus/Gemini Tiger 1974, Taurus/Pisces/Aries Pig 1971, Aquarius Rabbit (Jan. 22-29, 1975), Scorpio/Sagittarius Rabbit (Nov. 10-25, 1975), Sagittarius/Capricorn Snake (Dec. 4-27, 1977), Virgo Snake (Sept. 1-20, 1977), Libra/Scorpio Snake (Oct. 17-Nov. 9, 1977), Scorpio/Sagittarius Sheep (Nov. 4-28, 1979), Virgo/Libra Sheep (Sept. 17-Oct. 10, 1979), Leo Sheep (Aug. 9-20, 1979), Pisces/Aries Sheep (Mar. 4-28, 1979), Libra/Scorpio/Sagittarius Dog (Oct. 2-Dec. 9, 1982), Leo/Virgo Dog (Aug. 14-Sept. 10, 1982), Taurus/Gemini Dog (May 5-30, 1982), Scorpio/Sagittarius Pig (Nov. 9-Dec. 6, 1982), “Krabulus” Pig (June 29-July 9, 1983) and/or Aries Pig (Apr. 6-12, 1983).]


I do not care if you have good or bad connections to your family. I do not know what the impact of bad relationships with your parents will have on our relationship. But, it would be nice to have a receptive, accepting and welcoming family on one end. I am not usually comfortable with “broken families” with one or more divorces/step-parents in the mix. Otherwise, it’s you and me, m’lady. To infinity and beyond.

If you’ve already been married more than once, I’m probably not going to be a good match. [Once is more than enough of that mistake. And, if you insist upon a “prenup” when you marry, forget it.] If you have kid/s (single parent), you’d best discuss the particulars with me (including how much contact you have with the father). If there are more than one kid and more than one dad, just look the other way.]

Nor do I feel comfortable with SINGLE MOTHERS. There are just too many around, lately. And, I can’t help but be concerned. I do not feel apt to taking on the father role in place of the child’s true father. Nor do I want any contact between the ex and my lover/wife because it will make me feel more like an accessory than an equal. I think it’s best for single parents to come together. But, there aren’t as many single dads as moms.

If you have any pets, be sure your house/apartment isn’t a small zoo. One or two well-behaved cats/dogs/fish/lizards/etc. is fine. No furniture-mauling monsters unless we’re living in bare rooms on a farm.


[As long as we have sufficient interests in common, we should be alright. The only interests I may not fully/sufficiently share include: CARS, SPORTS (I occasionally watch and may play a few, but I am not an avid fan/fanatic/follower), POLITICS, POETRY, THE COLOR PINK, THE STOCK MARKET, TECHNOLOGICAL GADGETS/IPHONES/ETC., DOCUMENTARIES/NON-FICTION, REALITY TV, NASCAR and/or COUNTRY/RAP MUSIC (to name a few).


Like me, you can burp, fart, pick at yourself all you like. I won’t likely be concerned unless the timing is “inappropriate”. For the list of things I don’t want in a woman, see PEEVES/DISLIKES.


1) If you wear: glasses, clip-on earrings (an old-fashion alternative to pierced ears), knee socks/leg warmers, sweater/pea coats, little to no makeup (low-maintenance) and/or hair in buns/ponytails.

2) If you have what I call “rabbit teeth (or a slight overbite of the two upper front teeth). [Reference: Kate Beckinsale]
3) If you have a richer (deeper than shrill/high without sounding manly) voice with an Irish/Russian/British accent.
4) Likewise, if you’re Irish, Russian, Middle Eastern (Iranian, Saudi Arabian), Greek, Italian, Spanish, African (black/brown), Native American or Asian (Japanese, Thai or Chinese).
5) If your pet is a pug/Samoyed/border collie dog or Russian blue cat.
6) If you can sing and/or dance well.
7) If you work in movies or are a: nurse/doctor, therapist/psychologist, writer, graphic designer, interior decorator or teacher.

PEEVES/DISLIKES (aspects I do not want to see/find in you):

1) I don’t care for women who wear what I consider an excess of jewelry. I am a jewelry minimalist who likes picking out certain pieces for a woman as gifts (and shopping with her for pieces). I don’t mind a ring or two, a sensible/befitting pendant/necklace and single ear piercings. But, above and beyond that, I lose interest. It’s just more fuss and interference with contact. I DO NOT like facial or belly piercings, especially.
2) Tattoos. I’d prefer no tattoos. But, I have a select tolerance for some.
3) As I already mentioned “low-maintenance”, I prefer a woman who doesn’t take an eternity applying makeup or packing a few dozen vanity supplies everywhere she goes. You can keep stock at your home base for special occasions (as long as they don’t clutter the bathroom counter when I need it:P). But, when traveling, keep it simple. If your skin suffers from the use of makeup, hopefully I won’t nag you about that.
4) “Product-obsessed” women who get roped in by makeup, skin and hair product commercials. If you’re prone to buying these things up at whim, I am sure to lose my patience with your spending habits, eventually.
Included in this list are: spray tans, Botox injections, fake boobs, fake hair/hair extensions/weaves, bleaching cremes/creams,
5) Women who consistently color/bleach their hair (particularly Asian women who insist upon turning their lovely dark brown/black hair a pale, reddish/blond-ish color that just isn’t natural or very appealing to me).
6) Cussing like a sailor. I don’t mind the occasional flash of temper (as I do the same). But, frequent, regular, daily use of cuss/curse words (f**k, sh*t, f**ker, b**ch, etc.) is unacceptable.
7) Likewise, I do not tolerate women (and men) who say things like: “It’s hot as H*** out here!” or “I’m hungry like H*** over here! Sh*t! When do we eat?” Certain words do not belong in everyday chit-chat.
8) An excess use of cleaning products. If you’re going to tote air freshener and hand-sanitizer everywhere you go, there’s a good chance I’ll be annoyed by you.
9) Strict diets (unless ordered by a doctor). Women “afraid to eat” bother me. And, if you prefer one-topping pizzas because you won’t eat mushrooms, onions or peppers on yours, you bore me.


Use the CONTACT feature to write me if you either favorably fit this description or have any questions/comments regarding this post.

And, be sure to read the other pages/sections of this category/file.