Posts Tagged ‘family

12
Dec
19

Special Days and Family Animosity

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Who cares about special days, anyway?  Why get worked up about celebrating anything, when family is there to rain crap on your parade?  Hmm?

I mean, it’s just stupid to continually get your hopes up even a small measure when you know someone or something stupid and unkind is going to appear.  If it’s not the lousy weather, it’s family…which, for me, can be like a hurricane or tornado of misery.

But, that’s life.  That’s what this lucky guy has been given.  I live it.  And, then, at some point, hopefully when I’m still sane, I’ll die.  God(s) help me.  Where is this life going?  What is my calling?  ‘Still unclear on that one.

Why DO I clash with my family so much?  Why can’t I tolerate my brother, anymore?  Why does he just have to be in the room for me to turn bitter and raise my scorpion tail?

I’m sick of getting upset, sick to my stomach with disapproval and feeling like my body is going to combust at any moment with my heart racing, my eyelids fluttering and my teeth wearing away.

And, when I seek answers from someone I thought I liked, someone who isn’t part of the current battle, the best I get is a silly offer to take drugs or see a therapist.  Nice.  I could have gotten that answer from a commercial or poster somewhere.  Maybe you have a manual on how to live I can read.

And, breathe.

No mas, ‘kay?

10
Apr
18

How Do You Address Aging with Parents Who Are?

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Touchy subject.

I have parents who are “getting up there” who are first experiencing some of the major setbacks of aging, those setbacks that make anyone else concerned for their ability to function and safety.  And, on top of that, my parents are that proud, self-sufficient sort that think they’ll be superheroes all their lives, not willing to admit or aware they are aging.  They don’t often ask for help even when they clearly need it.  And, if you try to help, you have to be ready to be judged inferior to their standards and be corrected on how to do the tasks you’re trying to help them finish with your own intelligence.

They don’t want to hear, “You’re getting old enough, now, that you may not be able to do that, yourself, anymore.”

So, how do you discuss with these parents your concern for them losing the ability to do what they’re used to doing themselves?

14
Mar
18

Help Me Think of Names!

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And, get famous (whenever I publish) by having YOUR name (or a pen name you supply for yourself) worked into my latest book (project).  You could wind up a primary character, opposite the protagonist(s), a neighbor, CEO, taxi driver or police officer, for example.

The names I direly need are LAST/FAMILY names.  So, go nuts combining letters, words and/or sounds to get something special.

I am looking for:

  1. A name that incorporates the word “BUN.”  BUN could be any part of the name, start, finish or middle.
  2. A name that incorporates the word “TRESS” or “TRES.”
  3. A name that incorporates the word “LOCKE” or “LOCH.”
  4. A combination of three names (female first, female middle and last/family) that create a word or name with the initials.  IE Jane Ellen Trisket = JET

Submit your ideas to my mailbox (on the contact page) or in the comment section below.

Get brainstorming.

02
Mar
18

A Family Imbalanced

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I am, once again, working through some deep-seeded feelings and–if you the reader so decide to give it–get some input.  In this age of short attention spans, I consider it amazing if the average reader can digest all I have to say.  [So, pat yourself on the back if you do.  And, if you’ve read similar thoughts in previous posts of mine, bare with me; it wouldn’t surprise me if I repeated.

NOTE:  If all you do is click LIKE on this post, I will be annoyed because I don’t know what you hope to achieve by doing that.  And, I will feel like a spectacle, standing in public in my underwear.

What inspired this purging of the soul?  Recent events in which I have been giving much of my time and energy to my family and seen little in return.  Sometimes my offers of assistance and input are rejected, with or without mention of how I should live my life differently.  That reaction seems to run in the family (myself included, under certain circumstances).  I just wish someone would step up and say, “Now, what can I do to help YOU?” Or, “How are you coming with ___?  Need any help?”

I seem to be more willing to help my family (and anyone who triggers sympathy in me) than they are willing (and/or able) to help me.  Granted, they have loaded their hands with fairly full lives of their own while I struggle to “get myself together.”  I cannot offer much more than my helping hands, remaining mobility, “over-thinking” and sympathetic brain (for working out all of those little mental wrinkles that plague those with failing memories or certain problems that need solving)…and patience.  And, if a member of my family did anything that shocked or upset my “code,” I might be less willing to offer help.

[IE If someone chose to get drunk and go broke, I might have a hard time offering financial or even emotional support.  That is, in part, because I’ve never let myself be so careless and cannot relate; I don’t feel like I have the “coping skills” to deal with that situation.  I could easily hand over money and risk leaving myself in financial danger, but I am resistant–for whatever reason–to do so.  And, I’ll get more into that sort of situation in a moment.]

It’s actually somewhat amazing I am willing to help my family, at all, when, some years ago, I was at a serious crossroads with the core of my being, and my family essentially looked the other way, treating me like a misfit of society who didn’t want to “go with the flow.”  [Which is ironic after years of chasing fads only to be told this behavior was costly and pointless.]  I realize solitude and defending myself so long has depleted my resistance and left me more in need of human contact and cooperation.

Long ago, in my late teens, I wanted a fresh start, a makeover of sorts.  And, if anyone supported the entities that rubbed me the wrong way, I withdrew from those supporters to defend myself, rather than accept people simply telling me I am crazy for being so troubled by something they saw as harmless.  [This came with trusting professionals with my life and feeling my life was threatened by those professionals.]  All I knew at the time was I needed to purge my being of what felt like a serious mistake, similar to atoning for a sin.  And, my family, my foundation, my roots, stood in the way.

[You might hear or read sources that say you should “be” and “love” yourself.  I have felt unable to do that thoroughly because I continually run into opposition, including family.  If you like metaphors, it’s sort of like being a young bird wanting to fly and having your wings either torn to shreds or weakened by lack of proper nutrition.]

Now, this endured for many years, me unable to trust my family with just about anything and feeling misunderstood.  I had no privacy, no freedom to maintain a room of my own (design) as I saw fit.  [If I left the house, I’d return home many days to find my possessions rearranged, altered or missing.  Thus, each time I wanted to leave home, I couldn’t help being concerned and was denied the option to use locks to secure my space.]  I survived by doing what I had been told to do since I was little…keep myself busy.  But, this wasn’t advancing my life in any good way I could see.  When I wanted to have “adult” discussions, no one could cope with my rapid-firing concerns/hesitation.  And, if they felt like bringing up old news–like that time I was trying to put behind me–any chance of cooperation went down in emotional flames rather quickly.

[Again, ironic, considering another member of the immediate family has had several makeovers and never once had to worry about his own room being invaded/rearranged.]

A bothersome pattern involves me buckling whenever I hesitate to try/do something and seek input from family.  I’m reluctant to ask, worrying about the response I may get.  And, if the response comes with some measure of judgment, objection, insult/offense or resistance, I give up the quest for assistance/input and recoil into a troubling state of helplessness.

Add to this my inability to do just about anything for myself, including stepping outside my comfort zone (if you can even call what I had comforting) to meet new people, to socialize, and I am a rather handicapped individual going nowhere.  Before I stopped going (and began fighting to defend my decision), I couldn’t even go to mass/church with family without feeling lacking in their acceptance, feeling a bit like a reject and enemy.  The church was supposed to be my sanctuary, and it couldn’t be; not with my family and social anxieties.

This is just the tip of the emotional iceberg.  And, after giving these thoughts a few hours of my time, I am feeling lost in thought and depleted.  So, without knowing what else to say, I will stop here.  If I feel up to it, later, I will revise/add to these thoughts.

* I am writing this in addition to a previous post about lacking love and friendship. *

 

19
Nov
16

Fork Black Friday

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Black Friday?  What is that?

Because retail chains have become monsters, there is no point to any Black Friday sales, anymore.  You can’t even enjoy a meal with the family before someone’s ramming shady bargains down your throat.  Swallow on your own time.  We gotta get down to Electronic-Mart and get us one of dem 90″ ecto-plasma 4D TVs.  [I think I just puked a little.]

Black Friday used to be the emergency flare for getting the economy pumping after summer turned people into sluggish tourist traps.  Now, it’s going the way of the T-Rex in the latest Jurassic Park films.  [Yes, you heard me right.  Film-S.  Plural, in case you didn’t know they could milk a T-Rex til it begged to be re-extinct.]

So, forget cooking a turkey and teaching the kids about the Mayflower.  If things keep going the way they are, history books will just be old catalogs from JCPenney and Sears.  Spare no expense.

Black Friday, beginning on Thursday…before you finish dinner.  Idiots.

What’s next?  Hunger Games Wednesday?

Spare me the gruesome details of human degradation.

02
Mar
16

New Pokemon, Family Designed

Here is the first batch of pokemon designed by my nephew and I.  I turned his cutouts and sketches into digital art.  But, some of the characters I designed myself.

Tell us what you think of these.  If you see anything like this in the existing Pokedex, let me know which existing Pokemon you think make one or more of these irrelevant/pointless.  And, if anything similar turns up in the new games of Sun and Moon, let me know, too.  [Once upon a time Noctowl, Hoothoot and Totodile were sketches in my sketchbook.  Then they were part of Pokemon Gold/Silver.]

pokemon-newideas_Swingo_SD-AP-2J

pokemon-newideas_Valentino-n-Hearty_SD-AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Caroterra_SD-AP-3J

pokemon-newideas_Cheddarhead_AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Grav_AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Mete_AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Berrbear_SD-AP-2J

pokemon-newideas_Spika-Spiko_SD-AP-2J

pokemon-newideas_Fishsaver-SD-AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Findicator-Fishsaver_SD-AP-2J

pokemon-newideas_Mudball_SD-AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Exode-and-Osirix_SD-AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Exohex-XOX_SD-AP-2J

pokemon-newideas_Boxobox_SD-AP-2J

pokemon-newideas_Thatcher_SD-AP-4J

pokemon-newideas_Rave_AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Badusa_AP-1J

pokemon-newideas_Gremkey_AP-2J

pokemon-newideas_Shocaconda_AP-1J

15
Sep
14

As If They Were Nothing

AsIfTheyWereNothing_wallppr-ap1200750-1J

My parents saved so many pieces of their growing past and oodles of things they thought might be worth more someday: their first set of kitchen furniture, tea sets, light fixtures, quilts, suits and figurines of all sorts. But, the things I valued the most they threw away as if the former were nothing.

Trust. Love. Acceptance. Patience. Empathy. Talent. Effort. Friendship. Teamwork. To name a few.

‘Leaves you feeling all warm and tingly inside; doesn’t it?




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