Posts Tagged ‘dream

12
Apr
16

If Ariel Saw the Modern World…

*****

Setting:  We take you to a rock jutting out of the sea in that famous scene from Disney’s version of Hans Christian Anderson’s The Little Mermaid where Ariel sings about joining the land-dwellers’ world…in the modern world as we know it…

Ariel:  Look at this trove of treasures untold.  How many wonders can one cavern hold?  Looking around here, you’d think, sure, she’s got everything…

A garbage truck pulls up to the beach to dump another load of stuff that apparently isn’t fit for an overflowing landfill.  Ariel watches as the seagulls descend to pick through the mess.  She winces as one eats something she’d rather not ingest or see anyone ingest for that matter.

Ariel:  Up where they walk.  Up where they run.  Up where they spend all day in the sun…

But, people are not walking and running in the sun on the cracked concrete she sees.  They are distracted by the gadgets in their hands and on their desks.  They are commuting by car and truck, kicking up quite the cloud of smog.  And, the commotion never fully stops, even late at night.

Ariel shields her nose and mouth, ducking under water briefly before her nagging curiosity strikes, again.

Ariel:  Wandering free…

Video screens everywhere display criminal activity in the news, slavery, prisoners of war, mass destruction.  And, eyes are fixed on most if not all of them.

Ariel:  Wish I could be…

A large freighter carrying hastily made products from China to the USA nearly collides with her perch.  She returns from the deep with frazzled hair and a headache.  She raises an index finger to make one more attempt at singing something profound.  But, the words are not there.  No, she did not lose her voice to some sea witch.  She just lost her fountain of optimism and returns to her underwater domain which no longer seems so bad.  In fact, it’s quite safe and reassuring.  At least, until the surface pollution turns up the water temperature to unbearable.

A lesson in thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

 

18
Jan
16

Happy MLK, Jr. Day

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30
Oct
15

I’m Dating Amy Schumer?

*****
So, I woke up one morning and popped online to check my Farsebook page.  And, I saw all these messages questioning my DATING status. As I scrolled through the mess to see what was the cause of all this (because, as far as I know, I haven’t been on a date in…). My blurry eyes sure cleared up when I saw those golden words:

I AM DATING AMY SCHUMER.

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How did that get there?

Bshocked_internetscreened-sample1Blaughing_internetscreened-sample1Now, some of you might say she does nothing for you. You have golden private parts, and I respect that. But, at five foot seven with that perfect shade of pale golden hair, she’s that sort of cuddly hotness that makes you want a s’more on a cold night or a bag of marshmallows (which I don’t normally crave, at all). She’s just a cuddly marshmallow of a woman with a great sense of humor/wit. I want to paw her all night and wake up with her under my head just so I can wake up and peel her off of me in the morning. That’s the kind of hot Amy is.

It’s no wonder we’d hit it off. But, I had to figure out how we started dating. It must be a drunken blur. I mean, she must have gotten me so drunk I forgot how we met.

[If you’ve seen her SNL monologue. You know where I am going with this.]

Our relationship hasn’t exactly been a smooth one. She’s a Gemini rooster, I’m a Sagittarius rabbit. I guess you could say I have a love-hate relationship with her. She’s often on the road. And, I, well, I don’t get out much. So, I find out she’s drinking all the time and seeing other guys. Obviously, that’s taken its toll. It’s hard to cut her loose because she’s just so deliciously “huggable.”  And, that face; she can win you over with a look. You know that puppy dog look some people talk about. She does that! And, you just want to grab her fwubby wubbly cheeks and say, “Ihs owky, my wittle cuddlecake! I fowgive you!”

Well, I finally got tired of forgiving the drinking and one-night stands. I let her have it with both barrels only to feel rotten the next morning for sleeping with her one more night after she just told me about the last sleaze she slept with because she chronically suffers from low self-esteem. Oh, she hides it well, but she’s not yet comfortable in her body.

Long story short, after a bad breakup, I get a call saying she will be in town close to my birthday. She didn’t exactly say she wanted to see me, but from the photo she sent soon after I got the message, I figure that’s where this is headed. I look forward to amazing make-up sex. But, only after she joins me for a night by the campfire and indulges all the other whims I’ve only been able to share with her via Skype. [Yes. We’ve done the long-distance relationship thing, too. And, it sucks.] Which probably means the sex won’t happen. But, a guy can dream.

———

In all honesty, I was watching one of the late night talk shows when I first saw her and didn’t think much until she started to speak. She was so refreshingly charming and witty that I fell instantly in love. But then, I saw the promotional materials for that recent movie of hers and felt a chill sweep through my heart.  It was cold, casual and more sexually liberated than the Amy I had seen prior.  She was part of an old school bunch I had left behind.  When I saw SNL and heard her say she was dating Bradley Cooper, my heart clenched a little. But, taking a few breaths, I decided they were good for each other. And, the next day, I learned my humor radar was off; she was just joking. A few weeks later, here I am finding an announcement of her coming to my town near my birthday, and the rest is written history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhu7rs3Ihas




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