Posts Tagged ‘CD

03
Aug
19

In Other T. Swift News… August, 3, 2019

*****

The fires of my feelings for Tay Swift continue to burn and cause me internal upsets as I periodically wonder…and worry…what’s in store for her.  Or, rather, worry what some other prince and big machine…er, corporate nightmare may do.

I am reaching out to the universe to guide and assist me.  And, the universe…and Tay…have a way of speaking.  Or, am I imagining some of these things?

While doing some leisurely shopping with family, I came upon an old CD of Tay’s and *swiftly* purchased it; my first Tay Swift CD (because intense mixed feelings have kept me from investing in the music, feelings I’ve already touched on in other posts and cannot adequately/briefly describe here).  It felt strange.  I felt like some creepy older guy buying a kid…kid’s old music.  The CD was unopened, factory sealed, as if someone had a flash of interest or received it for free and cast it aside.  The cover glistened with gold, screaming SPEAK NOW.

[And, you know what makes that album special?  2010.  Well…it wasn’t the first year I noticed you/Tay.  But, I think, in 2010, I started speaking to people about my infatuation with you/Tay.  My first artworks, of a digital sort, began around 2009, as was a special gift I made for someone, who was trying to secure a relationship with someone she loved, with the words of your Love Story.  I think, as my memory currently fails me (I should have notes on this somewhere), my first glimpse was sometime between 2001 and 2007, before Katy Perry had her debut CD/fans.  But, around 2010, I began admitting my feelings.  When people would ask if I had aspirations to marry her/you, I’d timidly say, “Yeah.  I mean, she’s just…special.”  I’d brace myself for laughter/ridicule and my own feeling of foolishness for carrying such a torch, for essentially being the guy with the poster on his wall and all the other fan swag, though I continue to admit I am not a superfan…more of a personal, sensitive admirer who is vibrating from your aura, not your stardom.]

I felt as if some ghostly hand was tapping me on the shoulder, telling me to say something.  Say what, universal Tay?  What haven’t I said?  What should I say?

Or, have I said something right and am now being heard?  Because I am picking up little signals as if either I am getting through…or someone else is having the same thoughts, and I am just picking up echoes in the airwaves, like seeing a TV show on the west coast a few hours after it already aired on the east coast.

I see a new album on the horizon…titled Lover…and that has me (concerned) something else is on the horizon.  On one hand, I should be happy for her (if it is).  I shouldn’t be casting any doubt or pushing any buttons labeled CANCEL.  But, on the other hand, if I may be so selfish, I hear a lil voice in my head that looks like Tay in nerdy glasses shouting something about sitting on the bleachers.

I just watched a video for a song called The Archer which resonates strongly with me, though the message is a bit cloudy at parts.  Tay, you kinda go in circles with that one.  I presume it’s a meditative tool, a means of looking at yourself in the mirror.  But, it also speaks, as many of your songs do, to some mystery figure either in your life or in your fantasies.  As I listened to the words and music, I felt like I was sitting in some humid room with sun slicing through window blinds and a fan running…and I felt this vibration running through me like I was being probed by an alien spaceship.  I felt half-naked and uneasy, under scrutiny and grasping for understanding.  I felt a ghostly hand reaching out to merge with another.  I saw astrological imagery spanning across a sunrise (or sunset).

I felt like I am/was so close to something real; I can almost smell it.  And, I’m left with an inexplicable ache when the music ends.  I don’t want that to be the feeling I get when I hear her, your voice, Tay.  But, I don’t know how to resolve the feelings I have without you.  Yet, as with many things in my experience/life, no matter what I think, life finds a way.  I just wish and hope the way leads to you and I meeting in the middle.

You see…not a typical fan.  I can’t say I am a fan.  I am an admirer…a fantasy lover…in a little town called WordPress.  [Well, me fantasizing about you as a lover.  I am not sure you’d fantasize about me…but you probably DO fantasize about someone like me.]

Maybe you’re right.  I just need to *calm down.*  [I doubt you’ll forgive me for being a bit gay-phobic, when it comes to gay men, at least.  And, I know I’ve said some hateful things about Ryan Reynolds, but did you have to include him in that video as a painter?…was that a not-so-subtle message to me?]

Stay tuned, Tay fans.  And, send those good vibes and wishes my (our) way.

And, Tay?  YYYou know what to dooo.  [I personally am not sure where else to send my thoughts/words.  The channels are murky at best.]

 

 

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