Posts Tagged ‘blonde

02
Dec
15

Dear Jennifer Lawrence,

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Oh, Jennifer…

You five-foot-nine-inch bundle of razor-sharp wit and fiery beauty. You fierce, gorgeous creature. Why do you play these Hunger Games with me? What is this Mystique about you that plagues my heart?

You say you have a hard time finding a date. You shut down those who displease you in the coldest of terms. You say nerves make you turn to vodka for relief. You’re tripping over yourself to get the gold. You’re getting drunk with some of the most beautiful women in your present business. [And, there’s this little part of me that would love to get all of you together in one room.] If only you knew what your astrology does to me. [Yeah. I just went geek on you.]

I’ve never had much luck with Leos (western astrology). Nor horse years (Chinese). [And, you being a metal horse year is certainly no plus for me.] Statistics don’t bode well for us. Yet, there is just something about horses (both the sign and the animal itself) that mesmerize me. Both Leos and horse years are capable of having overflowing beauty (including great hair), powerful voices and surprising strength that gets the jobs others struggle to complete done. Actually, a Leo Horse would have enough charm coming out of his/her “yoohoo” to delegate just about any task to someone else…if only they could trust that person to do as well as they can.

There is much confusion and discontent in a Leo Horse. Time spent in front of a mirror, asking oneself…am I a leader? I am obviously great at something. I mean…LOOK at me! I’m gorgeous…aren’t I? Who says I am gorgeous? And, who told me I was a star? Where are they? And, can they be trusted?

I first noticed you in an X-Men movie, stealing the limelight from the rest of the cast with your realistic portrayal of a young woman torn between being what she was made and what she thought she had to be to blend into the crowd. Could there be a more perfect role for your stars?

It seems you are either plucked from the audition room by a genius or you pick your roles carefully. So, why are you so nervous? Is the power you possess terrifying? Could you be afraid of having an exaggerated ego? I don’t know if you should cover your flames and go into hiding with some voice acting or writing career or turn your boundless stamina toward some more charitable vocation like nursing or carpentry.

Please put down the bottle and listen to me. You’re beautiful and talented. You don’t need to be #1, but you easily could be. Yet, being at the top is often if not always a perilous game. If this whirlwind of fame and fortune is making you turn to the dark side of alcohol, save yourself now.

Don’t mock me, J. I’m serious. You are not just a pretty face. I can see you soaring above the clouds with your fiery wings, teaching humanity to wise up and show more respect to each other while getting down to business that benefits us all.

Wait. What am I drinking? Am I thinking clearly? Or, am I drunk on this vision I have of you? Just one look at the right picture, and I am paralyzed, imagining what it would be like to lay–er, stand (no, lay) at your side.

If what I say has any positive effect upon you, I’d appreciate a little note sent my way. [Not some form memo thrown together by a representative deflecting drooling fans.] I’d like to talk with you. I am sure the experience would be exciting…if not a little unsettling.

Sincerely…I think,
Writingbolt, a wizard of words captivated by a white unicorn

*****
From “The Many Loves of Writingbolt”
*****

02
Dec
15

Dear Taylor Alison Swift,

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Miss Swift! Miss Swift!

If I could just get a moment of your hectic time. I know you’ve got places to be and so many people to see. You’ve made quite a name for yourself with your legion of fans. Your trophies keep piling up. You don’t likely need me to boost your supersonic and/or locomotive career (which leaves me a little short of breath, to say the least). But, given a chance, you and I could be something special. [Uhp! Wait! Hey! Keep your hands off me, security detail! There’s more!]

Honestly, I am a little scared. You have this air about you…  It’s a bit chilly, aloof.

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Sometimes you look like a dark blonde; I tend to prefer natural brunettes and lighter blondes. I like diversity and costumes but am not a huge fan of hair dye or artificial hair pieces/extensions. You can do whatever you like with your hair, but don’t ever ruin/damage it.

I like your middle name better than your first. You’re the perfect height (and I mean PERFECTION) but over a decade younger. Just looking at you makes me feel old. We were NOT “both young when I first saw you.” I doubt I was still young at heart.

Look. I don’t want to be the cause of any more Bad Blood or the next sap to fill a psycho breakup song. I don’t like crowds or being in the spotlight unless I am performing. [So, you’ll forgive me if I am reluctant to attend any award show or concert. If you want me there, I’ll be watching from the bleach– I mean, dressing room or backstage.] Neither of us need a nightmare disguised as a daydream. But, if you were the Monster in My Closet, that would not be the worst thing I could find in there. [I wrote a story of sorts by that name without ever knowing you had written a poem ten years earlier.]

I most definitely do not like torture. [And, that song about “never getting back together” might be an implement of just that.]  If you’re looking for a James Dean or Brad Pitt, I have not been “Taylor-ed” to fit either of those molds…but you and I do have something in common with the latter.

Ever since I first gazed upon your smoldering face and heard your Love Story, I’ve been caught up in some kind of spell like a leaf in a twister…… [And, by the way, that may forever be my favorite song of yours.]

……But, then you started pumping out one possessive, scorned girlfriend ballad after another. Dark clouds started pouring in overhead. I walked away; I tried to Shake It Off and let you date all of those wannabe A-listers.

I’ve done a little research, astrological research. I can see you’ve got talent coming out of your five-foot-ten-inch “yoohoo.” You’re a force with which people must reckon, one deserving of awe and stalled heartbeats. But, with all of that comes potential dark sides: hints of possessiveness, superficial perfectionist tendencies, a possible conflict of interests, the chance one of us might misunderstand a joke, a stern dictatorial drive to judge, conceal true feelings and rule.

What I’ve also discovered, dear Sagittarius Earth Snake, is that you and I make an incredibly creative and quirky team. I like to act and would love to sing with you, composing one lovable album after another, changing genres when the mood strikes. If we never write a book together (because we simply don’t have the time between our other adventures), I am sure we could fill our share.

I think there is goodness in your “innocence,” preserved for the right time and person. You certainly have the confidence to step out of the molds you enjoy wearing and speak your mind. I would like to think you’d be a royal treat at costume parties (and, with all of your assets, we could probably host a few).

Our Venus/Mars combos clear away some of the dark clouds mentioned above. Sexual chemistry is through the roof (or, at least, rattling the rafters). I give our odds of long-term bliss 4 out of 5 five stars, an 8 out of a possible 10 on the scale of dynamic passion (with 1 being ice cold and deadly).

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So, if the astrology geek in me is not a problem, I DO want to take you out. You don’t have to put on the “white dress” or some “tight little skirt.” And, you surely don’t need that bright red lipstick. I’d be perfectly happy if you wore no makeup or jewelry, a nice sweater coat with some loose-fitting blue jeans and your favorite sneakers.

But, let’s start with you writing me back. And then, we’ll take it from there. Okay?

Sincerely,
Writingbolt, the “Swifty” of metaphors

PS If we hit it off, I’ll write YOU a love story (and then some).

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*****
From “The Many Loves of Writingbolt”
*****

31
Aug
13

How Do You Describe a Blonde/Blond?

I find picking the right words to describe a particular shade of blonde/blond hair difficult.  I think it becomes a bit subjective to opinion.  So, I want you the reader to give me your opinion of what word or words you would use to describe these different shades of blonde/blond as I describe them.  Okay?

1) A very creamy yellow blonde/blond which almost looks like butter.

2) Same blonde/blond with darker roots/streaks.

3) A very pale, white blonde/blonde verging on silver.

4) A pale, washed-out blonde/blond nearly white with just a hint of yellow.

5) The same as 4 with dark roots/streaks.

Please give 1-3 words you’d use to describe as many of the above as you can.  Thanks.  Likewise, give your adjectives for the following blonde hair color images.

1) Ponytail

2) Chin-length feathery hairdo

3) Shoulder-length “yellow tulip” hairdo

4) Charlize T.

5) Blake L.

6) Julianne H.

7) Long and straight in black

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