Posts Tagged ‘birth control

14
Jul
14

You Need to Get Lathed!

Have I told you the intense thrill I get from working with wood? I’m not talking about some run-of-the-mill joy you get from completing that dusty spice rack or bookshelf for your friend or family member. This thrill goes deeper than any man’s “lower appendage” can reach in the deepest of “woman wells.”

Yes. That’s right. If you know anything of sexual intercourse, you know the language I am speaking. You also know some version of the feeling. But, if I am not using the infamous tool of innuendo, am I seriously comparing “hot sex” to carpentry?

I am. There’s just one problem. Well, there’s more than one. But, I’m only focusing on one at the moment because more would probably blow both our “computer laundered” minds. [You know, how some articles of clothing get shrunk in the wash. There ya go. You got it. Right?] If I am not careful, my crafting could result in the creation of a birdhouse. I know it might sound crazy, but it’s true. I put myself to work for the thrill of it, and, suddenly, I’m staring at a birdhouse. But, I don’t want this.

If you ask me, there are already way too many birdhouses out there in the world. Heck. Birds are quite capable themselves of making nests in all sorts of places. Why do we need more?

So, to prevent this, I must wear special protection. And, if I share my skills with any women in this world, it seems vital that they too use protection lest they end up with a birdhouse they cannot fully enjoy. Unfortunately, the female version risks the function of internal organs with the potential for side effects spanning a lifetime. Luckily, more women than men seem content with finding a place in their lives for my unwanted sparrow shacks. I guess the risk of their lives seems less threatening than the loss/destruction of a birdhouse.

Knowing that protection was created by someone no more capable of invention than myself, it’s flawed at best. And, when the flaw reveals itself, guess what? You got it. I’m staring at yet another unwanted, unintended pigeon poop coop. These things are eating up my resources, including living space, and they’re starting to get on my nerves. But, I can’t give up the pursuit of that singular thrill. Can I?

If you’re tuning out or thinking I’m some sex-starved fool, dude (or dudette), you need to get lathed. Or, in other words, go file, drill, wrench, plumb, jack, plunger, pump, punch and/or hammer yourself. All it takes is for the fire of trending to spark a revolution.

If you’re going to get your hands dirty, do it without affecting the lives of others or be prepared for a surplus (or shortage) of robin roosts. Give a hoot; don’t contribute to the plagues of all mankind. Labor responsibly.

[In all seriousness as an artist, I prefer to work with pencil/pen and paper or clay, myself. But, to each their own.]

Advertisements
01
Jul
14

Pay for Insurance; Forget Responsibility?

In recent USA news, health insurance has been a major source of discussion/concern. One particular company has been highlighted for religious values conflicting with general political procedure as well as for covering the cost of certain provisions and not others, namely birth control. I don’t know if it is part of the joke or true, but I heard Viagra is one of the provisions paid for by the company. What sense does this make?

That’s like saying…

“I won’t protect you from gun shots, but have a free assault rifle.”

“I won’t drive you home from the bar, but have a few free drinks.”

[Anyone else want to throw one in here? I’ll add it to the list.]

I’m not the most religious person yet I see the impact of careless sexual behavior. And, no birth control method has been proven (to me) foolproof. Despite man’s quest for the ideal machine/chemical formula, we’re still Einstein without the end-all-be-all equation to being. So…

The point is…people need to control themselves regardless of what money or some company/workplace provides (at cost). More SELF-control and less ARTIFICIAL control (chemical/financially costly). If you can’t keep your pants zipped and your “retirement” safe from draining lifeforms, it’s your own lack of sensible planning/decision-making. Why waste so much time, money, resources and energy on debating what people won’t do for themselves? Screw all this B.S. about what’s covered and not. And, stick it up your rears, you who make medical/health care so complicated and costly. If I won’t help myself, why should I trust or pay you to help me if all you care about is the financial cost? If we’re all taxed too much, what good are we doing each other or ourselves?




Archives

Advertisements