Posts Tagged ‘artificial

18
May
18

Friend-Less, the Solution to “Icky Drama”

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[The setting: Woman-A meets with her friend, Woman-B at a cafe for lunch. They start talking and eventually reach a disagreement which gives Woman-A a bad case of indigestion and gas (because her emotions are tied to her digestive system). Woman-B decides to use the Ladies’ Room while Woman A maintains her distance and hopes no one complains about her flatulence. A female stranger, Woman-C, notices the discomfort of Woman-A and joins her.]

Woman C: Is your friend giving you digestive problems?

Woman A: Urp! *sigh* …Yeah.

Woman C: Then you need Friend-Less. She’s 100% human but without the complicated emotional upsets. You’ll never have to endure a conflict of interests, again!

Woman A: Sounds *B-Lurp!* great. Where can I find…uh, her?

 

[You won’t find Friend-Less in any restaurant, workplace, club, yoga class, pharmacy or department store. Science hasn’t worked out all the bugs on this one, yet. And, even if someone did, it would be a crime against nature (unless a higher power chose a lack of emotional upsets as a step in evolution, as an adaptation). ‘Sort of like any food/drink that has been tampered with to boast a lack of side effects. It’s NOT 100% anything except guaranteed to be manipulated.]

08
Dec
14

Welcome to the Food Chain, the Danger of a Vegetarian Mankind

Stop me if you’ve heard/read this one, before.

A strangely funny thought came to me today as I thought about my diet and all the people pushing for mankind to go “vegan” or vegetarian.

What if we humans DID all go vegetarian?

Think of prehistoric times. Wouldn’t the food supply suffer? Wouldn’t competition over food grow not just between humans but with all of the other creatures that eat plants? Wouldn’t more starve and die when they can’t get their fill?

And, here’s the real “kicker,” folks.

Did ya ever stop to think the only reason there aren’t too many predators attacking humans is because they are too afraid of what people eat?

Who wants to ingest a man packed with so many trans-fats and chemicals that put him at risk of a dozen medical mishaps and/or diseases? Forget germs. Humans pollute themselves with what they ingest (whether it’s medicinal or gastronomical). Why risk a lion’s life with that when the big cat can sink its teeth into a grass-fed antelope?

Just think…

If every human becomes an “organic” vegetarian, won’t all those predators–who still like to hunt and eat meat just fine, by the way–start adjusting their menu?

Hmm. I was going to have the corn-fed pig. But, that salad-filled human sounds good. I think I will go with that.

Very good, sir. Excellent choice.

Welcome to the food chain, ye who shun meat.




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