Posts Tagged ‘acceptance

08
Dec
14

One Person’s Quirk Is Okay with Another

I like to think of myself as a multifaceted therapist. I’m a great back massage giver. I call them magic fingers. I haven’t done much with it, but I consider myself a decent art therapist (using art exercises to help people work through their “mental clutter”). And, I’ve been a decent listener most of my life without collecting $75-250 an hour for my time and saying very little.

But, here I am catching a few minutes of one goofy talk show in a million and hearing these “professionals” tell people with quirks that bother them that they should get help…and all I want to say is, “I don’t mind that quirk. I think it’s kinda cute. It’s unique and refreshing.”

And, isn’t that okay? Aren’t our quirks okay? Or, is every little odd/unique thing we do automatically a reason to sound the therapist/nut house alarm?

Warning: I’m about to rant. So, if you suffer from a “short attention span,” you may want to skip down past the partitioned section to the wrap-up.

———————

That’s ridiculous! It’s a quirk. It was probably caused by conditioning from exposure to some particular behavior from other people…whether that’s family, classmates or coworkers. And, all it takes to get out of that “kink” is to adjust yourself to someone new who makes you more comfortable. Until then, any conditioning therapy is going to be like slapping a smoker on the wrist to make them quit. You might force change, but will that make you feel better or just break the habit? Will you feel good about changing yourself or just comply with one more reprimand from peers? Is peer pressure a prescription for costly therapy and/or hazardous medication?

If you ask a “professional” outside the office, I am sure they’d love to set you up with a session schedule if they are starved for clients. But, once you get in that office, if they tell you your quirk is just part of you that you need to accept, what are you paying them for? And, if they recommend treatment or pills, what are you doing in that crazy person’s office??

A “professional” cannot replace family and friends the person really needs who will likely know more about the person rather than have them have to dig up aaaaall the history anew for some total stranger collecting a steep hourly fee. And, if you add up all the hours it would take to go through all that family history to get the “professional” up to speed, how much do you suspect that would cost?

Have you ever heard these expressions?

If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

I am so sick and tired of what some consider a weakness or strange being sufficient reason for telling someone to “get help.” It’s bad enough kids get bullied in school for having a big head or small frame or a lack of a good role model/sport coach or extra body fat.

Well, guess what.

I suffer from poor self-confidence.

I grew up with a small frame and a big head for which I was frequently pestered.

I was bullied.

I had a fifth grade teacher who couldn’t stop clearing her throat; so I started doing it reflexively, and it took a whole year to break the habit. These things happen. The same way we pick up and lose accents when we live among different cultures.

I have lost some hair in places, and it makes me uncomfortable.

I wear eyeglasses, and they make me feel crippled; but I cannot see myself ever using contact lenses without infecting my eyes because my hands are too busy to be that clean when needed.

And, ya know what else?

If you’re kinda quiet, shy or humble (not as bold, confident and daring as the people around you), that’s just fine. I won’t mind.

If you feel the need to pick your nose, you’re human. Just do it when I am not looking and clean those fingers, after.

If you burp for whatever reason, an “Excuse me” is wonderful. But, I won’t think you rude or weird if you forget.

If you wear two different socks, is that such a big deal?

[I think I’ve said some of these before. And, it wouldn’t surprise me if you found them among older posts (like the “looking for love and happiness” ones where I state my “dating preferences”). There are habits I don’t like, including some people who talk incessantly without conscience as if they can’t tell when someone isn’t genuinely listening to them…yet they keep talking even as I walk away. But, if I wasn’t quirk tolerant, I don’t think I’d find someone like Zooey Deschanel appealing, at all.]

————————————

If you have a quirk, some habit that is unusual to others, it doesn’t mean you are mentally ill or unworthy of someone’s affection/attention. It may be annoying to some, but I’d prefer not to think it bothers EVERYONE. And, if your chosen spouse or mate happens to be bothered by it, maybe you’re hanging with the wrong tree. Ya know?

Every piece of the big picture puzzle fits somewhere. It just may be more difficult to find their place for some (myself included). It doesn’t mean we cut off our “bumps” to fit better. But, if YOU don’t like some aspect of yourself, it’s your call to change/fix it.

[Gosh, I get worked up when “professionals” turn nature into costly experiments.]

15
Sep
14

As If They Were Nothing

AsIfTheyWereNothing_wallppr-ap1200750-1J

My parents saved so many pieces of their growing past and oodles of things they thought might be worth more someday: their first set of kitchen furniture, tea sets, light fixtures, quilts, suits and figurines of all sorts. But, the things I valued the most they threw away as if the former were nothing.

Trust. Love. Acceptance. Patience. Empathy. Talent. Effort. Friendship. Teamwork. To name a few.

‘Leaves you feeling all warm and tingly inside; doesn’t it?

04
Aug
14

There Is a Bed–wishful version

theresabed_sensual-bedroom-setting_wallppr-ap1200750-1J

 

There’s a bed waiting for me,
Waiting to fold me into its fluffy, yielding covers,
Waiting to accept and embrace me in its comfort,
Waiting to share thoughts and opinions,
Waiting to make the senseless reasonable,
Waiting to make the arduous easier to conquer,
Waiting to make paperwork and materialism go away,
Waiting to dismiss gossip and politics,
Waiting to nurture trust and faith,
Waiting to dispel bitterness and despair,
Waiting to work out differences,
Waiting to find the missing puzzle piece,
Waiting to connect the dots,
Waiting to teach me a lesson and learn something new,
Waiting to explore,
Waiting to occasionally forgo exploring and be content where we are,
Waiting to be creative,
Waiting to leave behind clever notes and invitations,
Waiting to reward attendance,
Waiting to exchange massages,
Waiting to gaze upon the stars with mutual speculation,
Waiting to share a pizza or two,
Waiting to share movies both good and bad.
Waiting to share fantasies.
Waiting to share games and cartoons like eternal youths,
Waiting to share music, dance and song,
Waiting to share stories,
Waiting to compose masterpieces as a team,
Waiting to craft costumes and attend masquerades,
Waiting to paint the town any number of colors,
Waiting to plan the next adventure,
Waiting to show and see there is nothing to fear,
Waiting to accompany me on the journey,
Waiting to provide time and space for solitary meditation,
Waiting to welcome me back when that moment has passed,
Waiting to remind me why I like it so much,
Waiting to wipe the dirt from my face (or ignore it),
Waiting to nurse my bruises,
Waiting to strip me of my woes,
Waiting to turn my frown with a kiss,
Waiting to dazzle me with her hair,
Waiting to move me with her eyes,
Waiting to explore me with her strong yet delicate fingers,
Waiting to peel out of her mousy disguise,
Waiting to inspire me with the beauty of her craftsmanship,
Waiting to accent the moment with the proper setting,
Waiting to growl at thunder and yelp at lightning,
Waiting to run and laugh in the rain,
Waiting to find a hiding place at the beach or in the forest,
Waiting to fill the space with candles, leaves and flower petals,
Waiting to purr beneath a full moon,
Waiting to roll in the mud, pudding, leaves, sand or snow,
Waiting to get messy and clean up after ourselves,
Waiting to be sensible and not reckless with our passions,
Waiting to make sure we won’t be disturbed,
Waiting to cast off the preconceived notions of others,
Waiting to liberate our senses,
Waiting to rest peacefully side-by-side,
Waiting to let the perfumes evaporate from our bodies,
Waiting to share a hot bath or shower,
Waiting to make the most of sponges, bubbles and lather,
Waiting for a private turn before sharing a spontaneous slumber party,
Waiting to stay up all night and yet not lose a day,
Waiting to be loved,
Waiting to reassure me I will never be alone,
Waiting to wipe away the tears of doubt,
Waiting to elate with a smile when given a sign of hope,
Waiting to rise with the sun,
Waiting to breathe new life into each other,
Waiting to face the next day with renewed energy.
Waiting to pool strengths and bear with the weaknesses of aging,
Waiting to face death without fear,
Waiting to be thankful for and celebrate what we shared,
Waiting to return what was given,
Waiting to move on in peace.
There’s a bed waiting for me.
And, it feels so good to be home.

 

~Writingbolt, 7-30-2014

[In one of my rare attempts at poetry, this is the uplifting alternative to what first

came out as a negative, emotional outburst.]




Archives