25
Jan
19

Applaud AFTER the Performance, Talk-Show Morons

****

Have I mentioned how stupid talk shows (and a certain “celebrity dancing” show) can be…when they interrupt musical performances with injected “audience participation?”

Particularly “late night” talk shows that terribly interview a dwindling number of guests before featuring some musical performance which rarely gets the respect it deserves. And, that’s saying something when you see a very…unique band perform on a show hosted by a guy in a suit and tie, giving the *impression* that the show is “straight-laced.” [In other words, a screeching rock or rap group makes a white guy turn blinding-ly white in less than two minutes, and that’s not a good thing.]

But, what I am particularly bothered by at this moment is how a singer or band performs…with lousy accoustics…only to be blind-sided by a blast of applause and/or cheering, as if the staff of the show are flashing their APPLAUSE signs during the performances. If that’s what is really going on, I cannot get mad or nauseous enough to express my feelings. That is just insanely stupid. That’s like making-a-naked-dash-into-fire or shouting-in-a-library-while-standing-beside-a-sign-that-requests-silence…stupid.

Have you ever seen a musical and heard people applaud WHILE someone is singing? I could understand if it was a Whitney Houston moment and the performer hit some particular high or long note to show off. But, during some un-exceptional portion of the song?…just out-of-the-blue applause? Ridiculous.

If some holiday carolers came to my front door and started singing Silent Night, I don’t want a mob of spectators suddenly applauding during the chorus. I want to hear the performers sing.

I’m looking at you, Jimmy Corden, with your improvisational pot-baked band and excessively “touchy” interaction with guests. I’ve stopped watching most musical performances because of this problem.  [Hiii, Hagar.  🙂  You’re still okay in my book.]

I first noticed the problem with Dancing with the Stars, the modern replacement for that 1980s fad, Circus of the Stars (and its “battle” cousins), a poor attempt to put lesser-and-lesser known faces in the spotlight (until it’s no longer the stars but everyday people looking to learn how to dance on the show, like a televised dance class, if they got a fair chance to learn instead of boasting a grueling schedule littered with injuries/sickness and “drama” before leaving way too soon to make any decent lesson stick) from the ABC branch of the Disney Empire/Monopoly, a show that deserves an award for its lighting effects more than any other contribution.

Whether its during a 2-minute (or less) dance or some guest singer’s performance, there will be some oddly timed reaction from the audience. AND, IT’S SO ANNOYING!

So, if you are so fortunate to get some “free” tickets to any of these glitzy, Disney spare-no-expense (Jurassic Park reference) shows…and you see some flashing sign or feel a cattle prod under your seat pushing you to applaud or cheer, check yourself. And, if it’s not even you making the noise…if that’s some recording playing over the performance…feel sorry for yourselves.

And, shame on you, networks, for airing that crap, for contributing to the pollution of performers just trying to get some exposure. You are one Impractical Joker away from pooping in public and getting some of that crap on your own faces. You are worse than a flatulant rubber balloon or an electronic fart simulator.

Now, excuse me while I go wash the filth from my mouth. I feel like a disgusting James Brown without my cape. I feel…not good.


0 Responses to “Applaud AFTER the Performance, Talk-Show Morons”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


Archives


%d bloggers like this: