06
Feb
17

My Response to “Lip Locked in L.A.” (Dear Abby)

*****

You can find my response to this and other letters, now available for your viewing and opinion, on the designated page

But, while you’re here, have a read.

Lip Locked is questioning his girlfriend’s obsession with pinning him against walls before kissing him. Abby’s advice is sound. Yet, I would like to throw in my own theory and choice of words.

———–

Do you really have to ask, Lip Locked? Quite simply, your girlfriend may be revealing a fetish. [One I find strangely appealing though it could lose its charm over time.] Like Abby said, she probably saw enough movies or TV shows in which people did this; and she is now projecting the suggested level of intense feeling upon you.

Another possibility is that she has been treated this way by a past boyfriend (if she had one or family member if she didn’t) and is silently asking you to indulge the “itch” to repeat history. [Didn’t think to suggest that one; did ya, Abby?] It may be a sign of her still harboring old feelings and not being ready to try something entirely new. It may be the only experience she had that wasn’t entirely unpleasant and thus became her reflex “move” in intimate moments.

I am inclined to say you DO NOT entirely enjoy this habit. Or, at least, it happens more often than you care to experience. Would you say she is a “one-trick pony” and that you wish she would change things up now and then? If so, identify which of the following types of relationships matches yours.

A) Aggressive/Dominating female and submissive male.

B) Aggressive/Dominating male and submissive female.

C) Equally aggressive/submissive and/or experimenting partners.

I am doubting you two fit Type B. Correct?

If you are okay with her being the dominant one yet are not entirely content with this obsessive kissing behavior, politely suggest alternatives or entice her to think of some herself. Try catching her off-guard with a pinch to the ribs or tickle her when she approaches and see how that affects her. Or, place yourself away from any walls; maybe play the sleeping lamb on a bed or grassy slope.

If you two are equally aggressive/submissive, it means you have a reasonable amount of harmony and are open to experimenting. It should be easy to address the situation, find out why she does this and explore alternatives. [In which case, you writing this short letter would merely be an interest in getting someone to offer a high five of support for finding such a passionate/quirky mate.] Suggest kissing in the rain or through a thin barrier like a napkin or sheet of plastic.

If none of the above makes sense, this need to ask could mean you just aren’t as passionate about her as she appears to be about you. Or, her passion is artificial, and your “spider sense” is detecting the falsehood. A difference in “libido” could grow into a bigger problem if not discussed openly.

One last suggestion: Look into astrology. See how your Venus and Mars signs match up. [IE Your Venus is a fire sign while her Mars sign is a watery one; this could be bad. But, if her Venus is an air sign, and your Mars sign is a fiery one, there’s hope.] If there is conflict, consider the possibility this relationship is only warm on the surface. And, if it falls into the “friend zone,” either accept having a friend who pushed too hard too soon or understand that continuing to interact may hinder emotional growth and/or moving on with better partners.

 

 

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