19
Nov
16

Fork Black Friday

*****

Black Friday?  What is that?

Because retail chains have become monsters, there is no point to any Black Friday sales, anymore.  You can’t even enjoy a meal with the family before someone’s ramming shady bargains down your throat.  Swallow on your own time.  We gotta get down to Electronic-Mart and get us one of dem 90″ ecto-plasma 4D TVs.  [I think I just puked a little.]

Black Friday used to be the emergency flare for getting the economy pumping after summer turned people into sluggish tourist traps.  Now, it’s going the way of the T-Rex in the latest Jurassic Park films.  [Yes, you heard me right.  Film-S.  Plural, in case you didn’t know they could milk a T-Rex til it begged to be re-extinct.]

So, forget cooking a turkey and teaching the kids about the Mayflower.  If things keep going the way they are, history books will just be old catalogs from JCPenney and Sears.  Spare no expense.

Black Friday, beginning on Thursday…before you finish dinner.  Idiots.

What’s next?  Hunger Games Wednesday?

Spare me the gruesome details of human degradation.

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