I Love My Pill TV…NOT!

If you live in the USA and are without cable TV, you might develop a case of BMO, bad medicine overload. Please continue to process the following statement while I flash a variety of unrelated happy images across the screen.

-Bad medicine overload strikes five out of five Americans who do not skip or are unable to flip channels when commercials for hazardous drugs prescribed by professionals begin.

-Bad medicine overload strikes these folks every five to seven minutes when a new commercial break is taken.

-Doctors who are not really doctors recommend hitting the Mute button when a commercial break starts to prevent such side-effects as: brain melt, loss of hearing, loss of sanity, coma of the eyes, paralysis of the bladder, raging mouth diarrhea and possibly death.

-If you or someone you know is struck with a case of BMO, don’t call your doctor. Turn off the TV, step outside and get some fresh air. Rekindle an old hobby. Put on some inspirational music. Pull the plug. Or, if necessary, dispose of the TV and never look at a newspaper advertisement or magazine, again. If you can do none of these, seek help from a friend, not a diploma or license to practice medicine/therapy.



2 Responses to “I Love My Pill TV…NOT!”

  1. 1 matt
    March 10, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    This is so perfect! I absolutely hate drug commercials; and I can’t fathom the concept of direct marketing drugs to consumers, as if having the doctors pushing that crap isn’t bad enough. I sometimes hear the side effects of these things and I think “no thanks, I’ll deal with whatever problem this is supposed to treat.” Psoriasis? Or “bloody stool, constipation, diarrhea, shortness of breath, lack of libido, weight gain, and mood swings, or even death”? Lemme think about that…

    • March 10, 2016 at 7:31 pm

      If I didn’t say so in the post, I think the new commercials are an attempt at human testing that–for a long time–was taboo, driving many companies to test on animals which drew hisses and fire from animal-protection groups. Nowadays, it’s: “Do you want to feel better? Try this complex pill while we dazzle you with happy images. Take at your own risk, but ask a doctor first if you can afford it.”

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