Struggling to Conceive? The Impossible Conception


I feel the need to say something about any couple “struggling to conceive.”  I feel this just about every time I hear those words.

There is no struggling to conceive!  There is a reason you do not get pregnant.  And, more than likely, it’s because the time is not right for one or both of the individuals involved.  If you are famous, your career is a concern.  If you are not famous, maybe you two are not right for each other or not fit to be parents.  Just because it’s the thing other people do doesn’t mean you have to do it, too.

One of the frustrating facts of life hits us like a bus when we come up against our shortcomings.  And, sure, we can challenge ourselves, push our limits.  But, think about this.  Pregnancy, giving birth, is a HUGE concern.  It’s right up there with the overproduction of animals as pets (which so many fail to take care of before taking appalling steps).  How many single parents are out there now?  How many couples divorce in the blink of an eye?

So, the next time you think you are “struggling to conceive,” take a step back and think about what you are doing.  It’s not about what’s wrong with your bodies or some cruel hand of fate.  It’s about what’s right for you and the world.  Once you bite the apple…

12 Responses to “Struggling to Conceive? The Impossible Conception”

  1. October 14, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    Reminds me of a recent conversation with an old friend. At the end of the conversation, he casually asked “How many kids you have now?” I told him I don’t have any. He said “Hurry join a fertility program”. I stay silent, not responding to that.
    His default mindset is one has to have kids. I’m too lazy to argue that it’s not always the case.

    • October 14, 2015 at 8:43 pm

      I would have slapped that guy. Join a fertility program. Hurry. The nerve.

      It’s not just his mindset. It’s like radio waves in the air, trying to turn everyone into identical cattle. Get up, work, eat a little, sleep a little and make lots of baby workers.

  2. October 17, 2015 at 8:48 am

    I disagree, there are people who struggle to conceive, I can see my friends face in my mind if she were to read your post. She’s had 3 miscarriages, so while your opinion might be right for some, it might not be for others, so be careful who you voice it too.

    • October 19, 2015 at 1:23 pm

      I hate to sound mean, but three miscarriages in a row would be a clear sign of what’s not supposed to happen. In fact, she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant only to lose those kids. Something was very wrong in that picture.

      So, yes, we may sympathize with friends when we hear of their losses. But, if the theory stands that everything happens for a reason, there’s a reason people are not having kid while other women get stuck with kids from lousy relationships that don’t last. There is some master lesson in that riddle. We just have to figure it out.

      In this case, I am not so concerned about being careful. I feel strongly about this. I think one of the women I happen to know and like very much married the wrong guy and then “struggled to conceive.” I hate to think she could have been happier with another man and actually had the kids she desired. Or, maybe, as much as she wants kids, she’s not really ready for them.

      • October 19, 2015 at 2:23 pm

        We’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one, because I think you are wrong and you think I am.
        What’s the reason for you falling and hurting your arm? because you’re a horrible person who didn’t deserve two that worked? Same with my leg.
        Sometimes shit things happen to nice people, but that does not mean they shouldn’t have tried, or they didn’t deserve the same chances as everyone else. Don’t even reply, because I’m done talking about it, we just draw a line under it here.

      • October 19, 2015 at 8:26 pm

        If that’s how you feel; so be it. But, if she can accept that not having a kid right now is just what nature wants, maybe she will wait or rethink her desires.

        Just think of the opposite end of the spectrum. My sis wanted to have a daughter in the worst way. But, instead, she had all boys. And, with more kids than she could juggle at once, she panicked. She has no daughter and no desire to have more kids with her current lifestyle.

        So, is it better to have no kids and the freedom to be a couple…or have too many kids of the “wrong” gender and panic?

        I lost my arm because I was stupid. If I had better sense, I would not have fallen the way I did. It has nothing to do with being a horrible person; that’s exaggerating. Your friend isn’t a horrible person. A higher power is just trying to tell her, “No, (your name here)! Now is not the time or place for you to have that child! Make some changes!”

        Three failed attempts should be a clear sign, I think. Three strikes. She is playing with the apple tree. Sex and childbirth are serious business. Too many take that lightly.

      • October 19, 2015 at 8:30 pm

        That’s the point, she has no chances left, you can’t just wait forever, these things have a time limit and age means she can no longer conceive. She struggled to conceive in the time she had available.

      • October 19, 2015 at 8:35 pm

        Now, who is being too negative? She has no chances left? No. She could have the kids she desires several years from now. Who knows. I’ve known women to have kids after 60. In the Bible, Elizabeth was what?–80? when she had her kid. Who knows. It’s not entirely our decision. And, I think a miscarriage is the higher power’s way of telling you so. We may think we have all the rights in this world. But, sometimes, the sky opens up and pokes a finger at us.

        So, to be positive for once, I say there is no such time limit. Or, we don’t really know our limits. We just guess.

        It seems silly to think anyone is entirely incapable of having kids (unless a higher power insisted that person should never have any). But, dare I say it one more time, that many “mistakes” should tell anyone to either stop or change their ways.

        If she wants a kid that badly, she needs to adjust some part of her life, improve the soil to plant the seed.

      • October 19, 2015 at 8:36 pm

        I’m done talking about this. I hope its not something you ever have to experience or watch a partner go through.

      • October 19, 2015 at 8:43 pm

        I know I am getting you mad because you are as stubborn in your hurt feelings as I am in my frustration with people fighting nature and messing with science.

        If I was ever with a woman unable to conceive, I’d have to sit down with her and ask how important that child is. If it’s more important than us being a couple, I’d have to leave her and let her find a more fertile partner. Plain and, well, as simple as I can state it.

        Sorry to ruffle your feathers. But, I am tired of all the mis-parenting going on in this world. I should turn my eyes from humanity and watch how other animals deal with it.

  3. October 27, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    If you’re considering this as a thought provoking, insightful piece of writing. I’d say you’re wrong and utterly clueless. For what you say may be correct for a number of people, it’s not for a whole heap more. I get the point you’re making. Percentages of single parents and divorce have sky rocketed of recent years. But I struggle to see the link between this and trying to conceive. What about someone who’s raped and falls pregnant? What about someone with an ongoing medical issue who can’t conceive? Such a sensitive subject for people, at least consider two sides of a story before publishing utter tripe on the Internet. Give it a try. May help you feel happy for a day.

    • October 27, 2015 at 5:00 pm

      Then you miss the point of what I am saying simply because you do not like it. You might have the same reaction if I repeated what some health “expert” says about coffee being unhealthy when you can’t live without it. That doesn’t mean my OPINION is wrong.

      I wasn’t really talking about the whole single parent and divorce issue. But, some of those failed relationships could be attributed to pregnancy problems, including miscarriages.

      I am saying some couples may not be fit to have kids in the eyes of a higher power; thus they are denied conception. And, if you “struggle to conceive,” having sex multiple times in hopes of having a baby and don’t have one…isn’t that silly? Shouldn’t the sign be clear? Or, at least, you could consult a doctor to get his/her opinion. But, I think it means you two should not be trying so hard/at all.

      This has nothing to do with rape!! You must be a student/teenager. And, if the rape victim falls pregnant, they are not struggling to conceive. They were stuck with a conception they did not need. But, if you are asking why does a rape victim get stuck being a mom…well, I suspect that’s a lesson for the young mother to figure out for herself. Maybe she was given an opportunity to be a mother just not the preferred way.

      Oh, believe me. I consider most if not all sides. But, eventually, one’s opinion is going to touch a nerve. I am just finding the courage to state mind and not back down.

      Find your tripe elsewhere, then.

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