19
Feb
15

The Menzel Mishap, the Untold Oscar Awards Story

You may know John Travolta and Idina Menzel.  You may have heard about or seen the former mispronounce the latter’s name and the humiliation that followed.  But, what you didn’t hear or see is what was happening on the other side of the teleprompter, a teleprompter run by a Doowap Shenanana.  Tonight we bring you new information from a discovered phone call between John and a close friend shortly after John left the stage.  It may surprise you.

Martin (another friend/associate of John’s):  Hulo?

John:  Yo, MARTIN. GET SHORTY for me.

Martin:  Uh, all right.  Hold on.

Michael:  *snort*  Hulo?

John:  Mike!

Michael:  Ow.  Dude!  There’s no need to SHOUT!

John:  LOOK WHO’S TALKING!

Michael:  BE COOL.  All right?  You okay?  What happened?  I mean, I saw it, but what was that?  SHE’S SO LOVELY.  I mean, that Idina Men–

John:  Yeah, yeah.  Whatever.  Listen up.  Here’s what went down.

Michael:  Okay.  But, don’t give me the MOMENT BY MOMENT, though.  All right?

John:  Shut up.  Don’t make light of the WHITE MAN’S BURDEN.  Look.  It was like some horrible PHENOMENON up there!  I was SWEATin’ like a WILD HOG!  It’s a miracle I’m STAYING ALIVE!  So, I got a job for you.  There’s a doofus in the control room here at the Awards who’s about to cause me a ton of grief.  He crossed THE THIN RED LINE.

Michael:  You want me to rough him up?

John:  Nah-nah.  That’s too BASIC.  I want you to BOLT over here and GREASE the punk!

Michael:  Isn’t that a lil SAVAGE?  I mean, these days you don’t get away with that stuff too easily.  And, it’s not like your credit is all that good.

John:  Mike?  You and I are good friends, right?

Michael:  Sure.

John:  We’re OLD DOGS, URBAN COWBOYS, TWO OF A KIND?

Michael:  Yeah.  Of course, man.

John:  Then don’t question the SWORDFISH!  This isn’t PULP FICTION.  I’m the PUNISHER, here!  I don’t want a FACE/OFF.  I don’t want a DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE.  I want this BOY IN A PLASTIC BUBBLE.”

Michael:  Okay.  Okay, John.  You got it.  I’ll be right over.

John:  Thank you, Michael.  Stop over at the WHORE SHACK, later, and pick yourself up something nice.

Michael:  Gee, thanks, ‘boss.’

John:  Oh, and MR. KOTTER?  WELCOME BACK to the family.

[Oh, and a happy belated birthday to John Travolta (Feb. 18th).  This was just a funny thought that came to mind as certain TV personalities refuse to Idina Menzel.  By that I mean they don’t let it (that previous Oscars mishap) go.]

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