I Just Can’t Get “Stupid”

Watching people do foolish things in the same movie I’ve seen almost a half-dozen times now, I am struck with a notion about my own life and the world around me. I think of countless lives going through the same paces: lame conversations, political and religious squabbles, lousy excuses for entertaining oneself with what’s considered popular or current entertainment, pathetic pick-up lines, drunken mishaps, online dating, blind dates, arranged dates, hours upon hours of casual sex, friends with benefits, one night stands, more lame conversations injected with comparisons of body parts and intimate activities taken way too leisurely (instead of seriously), drug use and abuse, dares and contests demanding impressive results, mistaken tattoos and painful piercings, bad relationships ended in all sorts of unpleasant ways, divorce, abortion, multiple marriages, single parenthood, forsaking one’s religion/faith from any number of the previous weighing too heavily on the conscience and essentially declaring oneself a lazy “spiritual” person or atheist, alimony, child support, “pre-nups”, “post-nups”, jobs that don’t pay emotionally and financially, unpredictable insurance and retirement plans, etc. etc.

All of the above are things “most” people do as part of “the norm”. Not one of them can I commit so casually without a heap of discomfort amassing in my gut. And, upon once more realizing this boundary that separates me from “most” people, I am–yet again–discouraged from “entering the game”.

If someone explained the rules of chess to you, and you decided they were too complicated; how would you feel if everyone you saw around you was suddenly playing that very game? Imagine being the only deaf or blind person in your city, state or country, not knowing how to convey the full nature of your life experience to another living soul without fear of misunderstanding, isolation/segregation or something far worse.

How many cases in history were resolved horribly or violently/lethally from misunderstanding? Do I really want to be one of those cases simply because I don’t “go with the flow”? Can you begin to–if not already–understand how difficult it can be to wake up every day with little to no interest in doing any of those things previously listed while the rest of the world around me expects me to do just that if I want to “belong”?

I imagine myself driving a stick-shift car and not being able to downshift to that lower gear everyone else on the road around me uses to “get by”. I see them all pass me by either hastily or leisurely. And, there I sit in the middle of traffic, being honked at and unable to get my vehicle moving. I am a heartbeat away from a horrible accident. And, it has me on edge to the Nth degree. If I lose another minute, I could be dead. I need to get myself in gear and merge with traffic. Wait. I just need another–

I’m more content being of service to people as I find them and utilizing my creativity to its fullest. But, presently, that’s not filling in all the necessary boxes of a “normal” life. It’s not “financially sound” or “relationship savvy”. And, that worries me.

If you see someone stuck on the side of the road with his “blinkers” on, it’s probably me, not going anywhere. I just can’t get “stupid”.


[Disclaimer:  I use the word “stupid” as a substitute for mistaken and/or erroneous.  No one wants to be called stupid.  But, we all should know when we’ve made a mistake. And, I am a stubborn perfectionist.]

8 Responses to “I Just Can’t Get “Stupid””

  1. 1 fattiesplayer
    October 16, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    It’s the shaving against the grain that you know will hurt, but know that in the end, your skin will feel even smoother.

    • October 16, 2013 at 6:06 pm

      Care to explain that a bit better/further? You are saying ALL of the things I mention refraining from doing or participating in are just painful things I should accept or do to–in the end–have a better life? I would question going against the grain…so maybe you are saying the opposite. By not doing these things that bother me, I am going against the grain and, ideally, my life will be smoother/better for it though I don’t see it right now.

      Which is accurate?

      • 3 fattiesplayer
        October 16, 2013 at 7:23 pm

        It’s the breaking out of routine, doing things that are uncomfortable that makes you a stronger person. If you don’t wish to be a certain way then your behaviour can be adapted. If you feel that certain aspects of life would prevent you from following your morals, ethics, rules than what is the point of conforming?
        Does that answer the question

      • October 16, 2013 at 8:28 pm

        I am note quite sure it was clarified. So, you are saying breaking out of one’s comfort zone makes them stronger…but also risks having their mindsets altered (good or bad). This could involve a warping of morals or values if “just do it” leads to self-esteem erosion. An example might be taking on a job or relationship that isn’t “healthy” but fills a gap (either emotional or financial). You do it to get something done/make a difference. But, the result is you feel worse about yourself and compelled to complain somewhere…like a blog…about how crappy life seems. On the other hand, not “conforming”, doesn’t guarantee things that seem “necessary” to do get done or comfort zone stretching to achieve the greater “strength” you mentioned.

        I get this strange feeling I’ve had this discussion before.

  2. 5 quoteofwhenever
    October 17, 2013 at 2:27 am

    I took this same view as a teenager and for most of my 20s. I lived life very safely and I just didn’t understand how people swung wildly from relationship to relationship, job to job, drama to drama. Did they have no perspective at all? Were they not centred their beliefs?

    In my late 20s I came to realize that all the fun things, all the deliciousness of life is wrapped up with stupid. I’m incapable of throwing everything to the wind – but I try to remind myself to occasionally freak out and break stuff.

    • October 17, 2013 at 6:19 am

      I am both intimidated and fascinated by you:) You bear a slight resemblance to an actress named Amy Acker.

      What exactly does freaking out and breaking stuff entail for you? It sounds like a fun tantrum I’d throw and then run to find glue and nails to put everything back together:P

      • 7 quoteofwhenever
        October 20, 2013 at 12:32 am

        I’m no Amy 🙂

        Freak out and break stuff means knowing that something won’t end in happily ever after, but doing it anyway to appreciate the experience.

        It’s a calculated risk. I wouldn’t condone life destroying experiences like drugs and violence etc. I’m talking more risks of the heart.

      • October 20, 2013 at 4:29 am

        I can’t compare personalities. I don’t have the faintest idea what you sound like. But, there is a resemblance in your picture.

        Hmm…risks of the heart. ‘Could be life destroying. I am curious about your calculations:D I thought you were just throwing tantrums and breaking dishes or something:)

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