30
Jul
13

Likes or Cooties?

When I was a kid, cooties was a huge topic of concern. Cooties was the one thing you didn’t want tarnishing your reputation. And, once word got out that you had cooties, you had to act fast. Or, no one would want to be around you.

Well, nowadays, LIKES are the new cooties. Only, instead of being a bad thing, it’s something grown-up kids and kids alike seem dying to contract. If you don’t get enough LIKES, you’re a nobody.

I guess anyone who doesn’t regularly use a certain unnecessarily trendy website no longer matters to the media. Every known company who’s anybody has a “page” there. Celebrity talk is all about the “tweets” these days. [I doubt they write their own.] That must mean they’re cool. [And, the age of the average “celebrity” in the news seems to dropping rapidly.]

If you don’t know what a LIKE or a TWEET is and are still breathing, go dig your own grave. If you are over the age of 35 and unfamiliar with social media (as they call online interaction on various news-injected blog sites and message boards), plan your funeral now. Because, you’re dead to television and (likely) newspapers as well.

It seems even the biggest “news” programs (like “Today” and “Good Morning America”) and talk shows are resorting to internet trending topics instead of reporting strictly on the facts and figures (in their usual, over-dramatized and fear-inducing way). Funny web videos are the new news clips, and discussing how many likes something found online gets seems more important than than the story itself.

I’ve also noticed more commercials for adult diapers and gummy vitamins for adults because–apparently–adults aren’t taking their vitamins. What’s next? Kids babysitting their parents?

Grow up, people! Get your news from the horse’s mouth. Learn how to use a toilet and change your underwear responsibly. Eat your fruits and vegetables locally grown. And, get some genuine sun with sensible protection. Or, I’m telling your mother.

 

~A. P. Writingbolt, 7-30-2013

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